The feel of his arms, the taste of mint, the feel of a smile as it rippled through her hours afterward they'd parted.
She was petrified.
She was used to making herself be strong. To hide the fear.
Cliff didn't let her hide inside herself. He'd pushed her to open up because he cared. And then he'd refused to let her close him out after she'd told him her past.
For all the hard-working cowgirl she was, no one would guess how vulnerable she was on the inside. While she craved her own family, she couldn't help feel she wasn't worthy of one.
Yet just thinking about the gentle way he'd kissed her had her insides melting all over again. Looking into his eyes she'd believed him when he'd said he wouldn't hurt her. He'd been trying to keep her from hurting herself since the moment they'd met. So it was easy to believe him that he wouldn't hurt her.
Only problem, he had no idea how tender her heart was. For a girl who'd never known what love was, not from anyone...stepping out to risk her heart was hard. She'd prayed for God to send her someone ever since she was a fourteen-year-old romantic up in the attic of one of the foster homes she happened to live at that summer. Could God have finally answered her prayers?
And so, as scared and uncertain as she felt, Maddie found herself smiling most of the week.
Was she ready for this? She honestly didn't know, but she couldn't resist.
*
Cliff had decided to buy the second property that he and Maddie had looked at. It was perfect and he sensed Maddie liked it too. It would be a few weeks until the closing but Hailey had worked it out so that he could rent it until the contract went through. He spent the week cleaning it up.
Maddie came and helped him some but just because she'd given him a look into her past Maddie was still Maddie. She was still driven to push herself with her work and he knew when to back off. She had obligations and she was her own person.
He respected that about her.
Working at his new place gave him time away from her too. Gave him time to think. It also minimized the possibility that he'd do or say something that would cause her to shut him out again.
They'd made progress and he wasn't backtracking.
He was done with looking back and he planned to help Maddie do the same.
*
The big barn where the theater was set up sat a little ways off the road. On evenings when they held the play, cars and trucks would come from the surrounding counties in droves. It had become a small piece of Branson right there outside Mule Hollow.
"Hey, there," Applegate Thornton boomed as they walked up. Maddie loved ol' App and his buddy Stanley, both so hard of hearing, their conversations tended to carry to everyone. They played more checkers at Sam's than ranched, now that they were retired and spent their weekend evenings handing out flyers for the shows and running the spotlights because they enjoyed it.
Stanley came hustling over, his plump face a full-blown grin. "Hey Cliff, missed you at the checker game this mornin'." He sounded as if he were speaking through a megaphone.
Cliff mentioned that he'd played checkers a couple of mornings with App and Stanley and they'd both beat him.
The perpetual frown that normally dominated Applegate's expression lifted as he looked from Cliff to Maddie. "'Bout time this here date night has finally arrived," he boomed for the world to hear.
People turned to look and Maddie froze.
"It's a good night," Cliff said.
App shook his hand. "I figure you're one smart cookie to have this little gal on your arm."
"Yup." Stanley gave her a one-armed hug. "We were 'bout to decide she was gonna grow old and single because none of these cowpokes round here had sense enough to ask her out."
People were looking. Listening. Maddie tried to smile, as she grabbed Cliff by the arm. "Thanks, fellas. We'll seat ourselves." Not waiting for more to be said, she dragged Cliff toward the first seats available. Plunking herself down she yanked Cliff into the seat beside her.
He was chuckling and immediately draped his arm over the back of her chair, cupping her shoulder.
"Relax, Maddie, it's all right," he said, close to her ear.
She turned her head bumping her nose into his unexpectedly. His eyes sparkled. "And yes, they are all looking, but that's just fine with me."
Looking into his amazing, mischief filled eyes Maddie felt like the girl who was late to the party but won the door prize. Her insides trembled when he planted a kiss on the top of her nose and tugged her close as the lights began to dim.
In a daze, Maddie caught Esther Mae four rows up giving her a thumbs up signal.
"Your friends are eating this up," he whispered, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze as the cowboy band began playing the introduction music.
"I'm glad you came with me," Cliff whispered in her ear.
In the darkness she inhaled his scent; rich spice and sun warmed leather. "I'm glad to be here."
He touched his forehead to hers, gently caressed her shoulder and turned to enjoy the show.
A door in Maddie's heart cracked open and she knew in that moment she could have sat that way for the rest of her life.
...And the voice of worry whispering she was getting in too deep—she ignored.
*
The next morning they had the horses and travel supplies they were taking to the festival loaded before breakfast.
It didn't take thirty minutes to transform their patch of the festival into a riding school. And Cliff was amazed how many people were milling around by nine o'clock.
He enjoyed the way Maddie greeted the kids who came by and the way she obviously enjoyed their excitement about getting on a horse. Now that he had more insight into her background he appreciated even more the connection she had toward these kids. Many of them probably hadn't ever been on a horse; it was only something they dreamed about, like she had. Thinking about that made him smile. Just as watching her now, made him smile. Made him feel like a whole big world was opening up and all they had to do was step into it together. His phone buzzed and he pulled it from his pocket and his smile faded when he saw his agent's name. As he hit the accept button a sense of unease settled over him.
*
"Don't tug on the reins too hard, it hurts his mouth," Maddie told a little boy with stars in his eyes at the very idea of being on the back of a horse.
Seeing the kids on the horses reminded her of how she'd longed to ride one growing up. The kids energized her, as did the hum of awareness she felt when she was near Cliff.
Crazy partners! She'd wanted to both hug the guys last night and throttle them when she'd found them waiting up after the date. She was a grown woman and she could take care of herself, and yet it had been touching to see them sitting there on the patio when Cliff took her home.
She had been quite certain that Cliff saw through their ruse of playing cards.
She glanced his way now, standing behind the pens he was talking on his cell phone, deep in conversation. Mule Hollow had terrible phone service, but there was a new tower, and reception was better than it used to be. The intense, long conversation he was engaged in would not have been happening too long ago.
What were they talking about?
Pulling her attention from Cliff pacing back and forth, she led the little boy whose name was Randy around the round pen delighting in the pure joy in his laughter. The laughter faded in to the background as she glanced at Cliff again and saw him pocket his phone and hang his head.
What had happened?
Something was wrong.
She knew it before he motioned for her to come over. Her stomach quivered as she handed the lead rope to Chase.
"What's wrong," she asked after she climbed through the rungs on the portable round pen and met him.
"Maddie, I hate this, but I have to leave town for a few days. There's a PBR event that I can't get out of. I thought it would be no big deal to miss, but I was wrong. My sponsor is up in arms about it and co
ntractually, I'm bound."
"Wh, when do you leave?" she asked, forcing the words when they threatened to stick in the back of her throat.
"I have to grab my gear and head out now."
Her spirits deflated. "You have a career," she said, struggling not to overreact. But the voice of worry reared its ugly head—had this settling down idea been only a whim?
Was he really not done with the road? Did his sponsors have so much control over him that he couldn't stop?
He touched her cheek and the thrill of his touch skittered through her. Stiffening, she fought to harden her emotions to it.
"Go—I'll see you when I see you." Not that she had any hold on him. They'd been on one date. They'd only know each other two weeks.
Two weeks.
Two unbelievable, memorable, life changing weeks.
He wrapped her in his arms and brushed a quick kiss across her lips. "I'll be back as soon as I can. You stay safe and out from under bulls' feet."
"Sure, just for you." She laughed huskily to hide the emotion threatening to burst from her.
It wasn't until he'd disappeared among the trucks heading for his own that she realized she hadn't told him to do the same.
Riding bulls for a living, no matter how good you were, was a dangerous job. A job that he loved.
Cliff Masterson was a bull rider. One of the best and it was money made from surviving on the backs of those animals that was paying for the ranch he was buying. Could he really, truly turn his back on the career he loved and be satisfied to settle down away from the excitement of the ride?
Turning back to the round pen, she forced her nerves to settle and her mind away from Cliff.
She wasn't sure what she'd been thinking, but one thing was certain: she hadn't been using her head the last few days.
Chapter Thirteen
On Monday night, Cliff called. She hadn't heard from him either of the two nights after he left so quickly. When he finally did call she was miffed, not to mention hurt.
Maddie didn't mind the miffed part as much as she minded the hurt part. She did not like being hurt.
And that was what happened when you opened up your heart. You were vulnerable to hurt.
She hated being vulnerable. It brought back the helpless days of her childhood when she'd hoped and prayed that some family would come along and think she was worthy to be loved. When she'd see the hopeful couples come through the orphanage she'd remember the thrill of anticipation that this might be the couple.
That this might be her family...and then she'd feel the devastating hurt when they passed her by for the child they'd chosen.
Maddie had cried herself to sleep so many times, until finally she'd hardened her heart.
As an adult she'd shoved that pain to the furthest recess of her heart and slammed an iron grill around it.
She hadn't let anything penetrate that grill—until Cliff had blasted into her life, rescued her from Buford, then proceeded to knock down the barriers to her heart one by one—and stolen her heart.
What if he decided this had all been too fast?
That bulls were his life?
When he'd called, she hadn't talked to him long. The loudspeakers had been in the background and he'd tried to explain over the noise that they were filming a show for one of the networks and that he'd been obligated to stay.
She tried to brush it off. After all she'd only known Cliff a short time...too short of a time to put any real merit in a relationship building between them.
And yet, she knew somehow during all the sweet talk and gentle ways he'd slipped past her barriers and captured her heart. Her hope. Made her start dreaming of a life with him.
That alone irritated the fire out of her.
But it was undeniable.
How had she been so stupid? He'd never settled down before, had she really believed that this time was different?
"I've got problems, girls," she confessed to the twins as they greedily attacked their bottles.
Memories of Cliff standing beside her helping feed them weren't helping.
Needing to talk she was glad she had the twins. "You gals are going to have to toughen up those hearts of yours. And don't let any young, good looking bull come along and talk you into turning soft. No ma'am, you stay strong or you'll get your heart broken."
Maddie knew it was easier to say than do. Because even though it had only been a two weeks, two irritating, fun, exciting weeks, she knew the moment he'd kissed her that she had stepped into unchartered waters. There was nothing she could do but suffer now.
Suffer the uncertainty of whether he was coming back to Mule Hollow to stay as he'd led her to believe. Or was he jumping back into bull riding with barely enough time to call?
Maddie was afraid that she'd been a fool. She'd known that no one in her life had ever believed she was worth sticking around for—why had she let herself hope that Cliff was different?
A fool. That was exactly what she was.
*
"Hey, Cliff, you're up."
"Yeah, be right there," Cliff called over his shoulder, but let the phone keep ringing. After their call yesterday he'd been increasingly worried about Maddie. "C'ome on Maddie, pick up."
He'd been calling all day and no answer. The answering machine clicked in and he left a message again. "Maddie, I'm worried. Give me a call and let me know that you're okay."
He ended the call and then stared at the screen, as if doing that would will her to call him back instantly. She'd sounded closed off and distant the last time he'd spoken with her, like she'd been when he'd first met her. Like she was shutting him out.
Unease gripped him. He needed to talk to her.
"Cliff. You gonna ride?"
"Yeah, I'm riding." Stuffing the phone in his gear bag he forced Maddie out of his mind and he strode toward the bull with his number.
He'd called Rafe earlier to find out if he'd seen Maddie and his brother had said she'd been acting kind of weird since he'd left.
Cliff hadn't liked that at all. He hadn't planned on being here for this three-day event. He'd tried to get out of it but there were certain things that, unless you were injured and unable to ride, you couldn't get out of. He jogged up the metal steps and strode toward the chute. He hardly hesitated as he climbed over the rail and planted his boots on the rails, straddling the bull but not lowering himself down to its back yet.
Cinnabar required full concentration if one was going to even attempt a six-second go, much less a full eight seconds without getting stomped.
"You okay, Cliff?" Brody Buchanan asked. Brody was a long-time friend from the circuit.
Cliff yanked at his gloves, making sure they were secure and gave a sharp nod.
"You don't look so good." Brody's piercing eyes searched his. "Come on man, you've got to have your head on straight for this freight train and you know it."
Cliff grunted then gave Brody no choice but to let him go. He waited for Cinnabar to settle down, then lowered himself down on top of the rusty red bull.
Cliff had to see Maddie. The best way to do that was to get this ride done so he could catch a flight home.
All he had to do was make this ride.
*
"Come on, girls, give a girl a break," Maddie said, playing tug-of-war with the twins on Monday evening. They were competing to see which one could yank off an arm first—or at least yank the bottle from her hand first.
"You are baby cows, not hogs," she said, feeling grumpy. She'd been unable to pull herself out of the low place she'd nosedived to since Cliff left town. Did the twins care that she felt lousy? Nope. They kept right on slobbering and yanking on the bottles like she'd done something to make them mad.
The overzealous calf gave a particularly hard tug and Maddie lost her hold on the bottle. The calf raced across the pen, the big bottle dangling from her teeth. Why, the baby was so excited, she did a little kick with her hind legs. Distracted watching the calf, Maddie fumbled the other bottl
e when the other one gave it a yank and watched in dismay as the little glutton pranced off with her prize too.
Hefting up a big sigh, Maddie climbed through the rails and chased after the duo. She would have to wrestle the bottles away from them and then finish the feeding, because it was certain that they weren't going to get fed as the bottle dragged along in the dirt.
Heading toward the nearest one she latched hold of the bottle but the calf was not giving up on her prize easily. She dug in her hooves, gritted her pearly whites and held on. One minute Maddie was standing and the next she was being yanked around, her foot slipped in the soft dirt and she found herself face first in the dirt. It was a good thing her ribs were feeling better, she thought as she pushed herself to a sitting position.
"I leave for four days and you're back swimming in the dirt."
At the husky drawl Maddie's heart slowed and then picked up speed. She spun in the dirt to see Cliff grinning at her from the other side of the pen.
He looked so good she almost forgot how mad she was. His jaw was covered in a five o'clock shadow that seemed to accentuate his dazzling smile and his twinkling eyes.
Goodness, she had to fight the urge to run over and throw her arms around him. She'd missed him more than she wanted to admit. More than she could believe.
She'd been as wary of letting a man wiggle past her defenses and here he'd gone and done it. And done it good.
And now, she was terrified she couldn't live without him.
She was sitting in the dirt, wanting to cry because she knew that falling in love with the twinkle-eyed cowboy grinning at her from across the arena fence had the ability to crush her world. And he'd done it in only two week's time!
What damage could he do given longer?
Cliff climbed over the fence and strode toward her. Her heart fluttered like a panicked parakeet.
She scrambled up finally, moving as the panic set in.
He stalked across the pen, his eyes turning serious as he came. "Maddie, why didn't you take my last calls? What's wrong? All I could think about was getting back here to see what was going on."
MULE HOLLOW MATCHMAKERS 21: NEW HORIZON RANCH 01: Her Mule Hollow Cowboy Page 8