by Adams, Lori
“You have to teach her to defend herself, Dante. If she’s still training to become a spirit walker, she’ll have access to supernatural weapons, right?”
“You want me to teach Sophia how to kill a demon?” Dante’s eyebrows rose at the ridiculousness of it.
“Yeah, well, you’ll just have to make sure she won’t kill you. Unless you’re into that kinda thing.” He laughed at Dante’s scowl.
“She has been training with her own personal Jedis,” Dante grumbled, and Vaughn laughed.
“Look who’s been watching the movie channel.”
Dante gave him a cynical look, and then kicked a path through the debris until he stood before the fireplace. The heat stirred his blood and calmed him down. He closed his eyes, thinking. “Two demon hunters have been teaching Sophia how to defend herself. Perhaps we could teach her how to kill Wolfgang.”
“She’d have to be a spirit walker by then.”
“Not necessarily. She would only need access to the spiritual weapons. I haven’t sensed them in her room so I suspect she’s not in possession of them, yet. But if Sophia can get her holy weapons and decapitate Wolfgang, he’ll be sent below, as usual. By the time we return to Hell, Wolfgang will still be regenerating. Plenty of time to secure Sophia out of his reach and chain Wolfgang in the Death Bunker.”
“And then what?”
“And then … I will kill Wolfgang. Permanently.”
Santiago made a choking noise that had nothing to do with his throbbing throat. “You’re gonna kill a Knight from the Royal Court?” he asked in disbelief.
Dante’s eyes cut to the kid. He’d forgotten he was still in the room and would never have revealed his plans in the presence of an underling. Killing one of the Chosen was nothing short of treason to The Order.
Santiago held up his hands. “Hey, it’s cool with me. I never like the assface. But, seriously, if you want Sophia to kill Wolfgang first, you’d better get her used to killing lesser demons. I mean, the guy was a roman gladiator back in the day, and now he’s the poster child for Animal Planet.”
Dante squinted at the strange reference but Vaughn agreed. “Kid’s got a point. Start off easy. She should step on some ants before she faces a charging bull.”
“And who did you have in mind?” Dante asked, taking to the plan. He liked the idea of Sophia sharpening her fighting skills. It might make it easier to turn her dark, just as she completes her Awakening. And if he could turn her, he would create a bond between them that even she couldn’t break.
Vaughn closed his knife and slid it into his pocket. “Bailey told me about the original graveyard in Haven Hurst, how it was moved out here when they built up the town square. There are some headstones out back. Let me poke around and see who pokes back. We could start Sophia out with a few ghoulish hors d’oeuvres and work her way up the food chain.”
“Very well. I’ll stay as close to her as possible. If I can time things right, she’ll not only awaken to her supernatural tendencies but awaken her memories at the same instant. Then I will turn her, and she’ll be my Lovaria again, as fate should have allowed. In the meantime, I am also going to turn her into a lethal fighter.”
“And what about the spy that Lord Brutus said he placed in Haven Hurst? The one who informed him of her Awakening? It won’t be so easy to lure Sophia away if one of her friends is the old man’s sock puppet. Any idea who’s turning tricks for him?”
“No,” Dante grumbled. He’d been working that angle, too, but so far none of Sophia’s friends showed any signs of demonic possession, which was disturbing. He feared Lord Brutus had developed some new technique to keep them undetected. The spy could be anyone.
“I’ll handle that end,” he said, sounding frustrated. “And, Santi, I want you in communication with Wexler. We need to know exactly where Wolfgang is at all times. Specifically when he passes through the gate. I want to know what form he takes, if he changes his appearance at all. He could disguise himself as any number of beings. Let me know his identity and who he brings with him. We have less than a week to prepare Sophia, kill Wolfgang, and return to Hell.”
Chapter 22
Once a Double Twice the Trouble
It’s late by the time we creep in. Rama is true to his word and waiting in my bedroom. He must have sensed us coming up the stairs because he is staring wide-eyed and frantic when we arrive.
“We got it,” I say, heaving the book at him. He takes it in the gut and sits on the bed to unbuckle the leather straps.
“Any problems?” he asks, and Bailey and I look at each other.
“No,” I answer quickly. I won’t be mentioning the nauseating hedonistic environment, the fight with the marquis and Chax, or that my lucky charm was a troll magnet. “I wanna do this tonight. Now. Just give us a minute to change.”
Rama stands and walks to the corner with his nose buried in the text. He tells us there are some seriously wicked opportunities in the book. We have to be careful with the spell. Bailey and I strip and change into sweats and tees. She mouths, You’re doing the doubling spell, right? and I snap a mad wave for her to shut up.
“Uh, Ascended Master here,” Rama says, flipping a page. “Totally heard that. Everything cool?”
“Yeah, we’re cool. You can turn around.”
He moves across the room and then scowls at me over the edge of the book. “We got a smooth ride, wahine? Or you throwin’ some wind on it?”
“I … uh, no, no wind. It’s all smooth. We’re good to go.”
He considers me through narrow eyes. “If you’re sure and shibby, we can hit it then. I found the spell.”
“I’m sure and shibby.” Whatever that means.
I tell him the details of High Alice’s instructions—about how the book will dissolve after the spell is cast and the parchment that will remain behind. I tell him how the incantation must be read and that I must be very still during the process. He tells me to lie quietly on the bed but make room for the Ka. I scoot over and leave the right side empty. Bailey stands at the end of the bed and Rama next to my head. I breathe deeply and stare at the ceiling. I’m nervous and curl my fingers into the blanket. Rama places a delicate white feather on my chest. He says my heart must be light and without care, weighed against the feather and found equal. I release my grip and close my eyes, meditating. Before long, I feel myself sink into the mattress. The heaviness of my bones settles deep inside me, and I become lost within myself.
Rama begins the incantation. It’s in a strange language, and I can’t follow most of what he says. He tells me to enter the Sekhet-Hetepet—the Fields of Peace—so that I may find my spirit’s double, my Ka. He is monotone and precise, and I have great faith in his ability. I remain calm inside myself, envisioning the Fields of Peace. My version has a beautiful meadow with red poppies and yellow and white broom flowers. There is a low rock wall and a bubbling brook. It seems all very familiar and comforting. Peaceful. I imagine finding my double there, walking beside me. I tell her what we’re doing and that I must be able to trust her completely. I ask her a question that I hope she’ll answer when she wakes beside me. We walk on, but then she dissolves and all I think about is Michael. I want to know how I was able to feel him tugging on my heart at La Croix. And why I haven’t felt anything since then. I wonder if he misses me. I wonder if I’ll still feel the second heartbeat when I am two.
I think I fall asleep because I hear Bailey telling me to wake up. I crack open my eyes, groggy. She’s frowning down at me, and then I remember what we’re up to and look over to my right. The bed is empty and I sigh. It didn’t work. Rama did something wrong.
“Crap,” I huff, and Bailey says, “No kidding.” Then I see Rama. He’s looking a little green around the gills. “What happened?” I ask. He shakes his head so I sit up. Bailey gasps so hard it makes her eyes bulge. She’s staring at the bed beneath me, and I turn and look. There I am, still lying down, topless, when I’m really sitting up. I yelp and roll off the bed onto the flo
or.
“Holy Godiva!” Bailey whips the blanket over the naked Ka. I scramble up and we stare down at me, sleeping on the bed with just my head peeking out. Bailey’s eyes swing back and forth between me and … me.
“Is it you?” She pokes my arm and I smack her.
“Don’t be stupid. Of course it’s me. She’s the naked one.” Ka hasn’t roused but I notice that the feather has fallen to the floor. I pick it up and hand it to Rama. He hasn’t spoken and looks ill. He won’t take the feather. The spell book is gone, and his cupped hands are holding a pile of gray ashes with a tiny rolled parchment. It’s the spell I’ll need for the Apoctastasis. I tell Rama not to move while I grab an empty Cheetos bag and carefully brush the ashes and parchment inside for safekeeping.
“You okay?” I ask.
He holds his stomach. “That was a windchop for me. Reminds me of the time I hit a breaker and swallowed a Neptune cocktail. I was selling Buicks the rest of the day and—
“Okay, okay,” I grumble. “I’m sure you weren’t too traumatized by the floor show. No selling Buicks in my room.” We look at me on the bed, not knowing what to do now.
“Well, wahine, you wanted to go tandem so … go wake her up.”
I step over and watch Ka sleeping. It’s freaky as hell, seeing a perfect rendition of me. At least from the chin up. “Should we put some clothes on her first?”
“And have her wake to strangers hiking up her panties?” Bailey scoffs.
“Better than waking up naked. Isn’t it?” I look at Bailey like she would know. She grins.
“Depends on who’s doing the waking.”
“Well, if it were me—” I stop and laugh. “I guess it is me. So I’d just want to be woken up as is.” I reach down and gently shake Ka’s shoulder. Her eyes flutter and open. I step back, holding my breath in anticipation. We’re all holding our breaths.
Ka stares at the ceiling for a moment and then slowly turns her head and looks at me. Something registers in her eyes and she smiles. “Yes, you are,” she says, and my stomach flips.
Bailey whispers out the side of her mouth, “What’s she talking about?” and I say, “She’s just answering something from our private conversation. I wanted some verification when she woke.”
“Can she read your thoughts?” she asks, and Ka says, “Oh please,” and rolls her eyes. Bailey gapes at her. “Okay, this is freaking me out. She even sounds like you.”
Ka sits up and the covers fall into her lap. Uninhibited, she stretches her arms over her head, arching her back and moaning like she’s been in a deep sleep. We may be carbon copies but it seems that I’ve kept all the shyness.
“Shit, Sophia, I think her play pillows are bigger than yours.” Bailey laughs, and I rush over and cover up my Ka. Rama walks to the corner and drops his head against the wall with a loud thunk. I’m embarrassed; I’m sure this is not what he bargained for when he was assigned the job of training me to walk in the spirit world.
“Have some modesty,” I say to Ka.
She blinks at me. “Why? I don’t have anything you haven’t seen before.”
“ ’Cause we’re not alone, you idiot!” I say, but think, This is the most bizarre conversation I’ve ever had.
I tell Bailey to get some clothes and then we turn our backs while Ka slips into my pajama pants and a tee. Once she’s dressed, we pile onto the bed to go over the plan. Rama heads for the closet.
“Gotta shoot and scoot. Gonna leave ya togeddah both.”
“ ‘Togeddah both’?” I ask, and he says, “Cha. You and Ka got things to work out. Carpe noctem; seize the night. I’ll cruise back in the morning.”
So for the next two hours, Bailey, Ka, and I explore options of how best to make this work. It’s pretty easy because Ka already knows what we’re up to. I need to be with Rama and the demon hunters as much as possible, and Ka needs to attend every class and do all the grunt work; basically take up where I’m leaving off. Bailey throws out random questions, testing Ka’s memories. She nails them, even going back to my first day in Haven Hurst—where I met Bailey and Rachel, and what kind of bread the McCarthy twins baked for me. And she knows that J.D. asked me to the dance and that I accepted.
“Just like him as a friend though,” Ka says, making a point to me. I freeze. Ka knows about Michael and me.
Why hadn’t it occurred to me that she would know my deepest secret? I feel naive and caught off guard. I don’t like someone else knowing what Michael is, and what he means to me. Even if it is me.
She doesn’t say more, and I know she understands; this is something we don’t share with Bailey. With anyone. But she has an impish grin that worries me. Bailey starts talking about Dante and Vaughn, and Ka listens patiently. I’m staring at her, trying to sense her emotions the way Michael does. I wonder if she knows something about Dante that I don’t. I wonder if she got the past-life memories that he’s been talking about.
“Stop it,” Ka says to me, and Bailey stops talking. “You can’t tell what I’m thinking any more than I can tell what you’re thinking.”
“Then how did you know what I was doing?” I ask.
“ ’Cause that’s what I would be doing, if I were you. But see, I am you, and I’m not. I’m perfectly fine with what we’re doing, whereas you’re uptight and all”—she waves her hands—“ ‘Don’t shake my Magic 8 Ball! You can’t know what I’m up to.’ ”
“What the hell!” I snap, and Bailey bursts out laughing. Ka smiles. She’s mocking me, and I feel like a third wheel.
“Wow, Soph,” Bailey scoffs. “Some DoOver. She nailed you.”
“Oh, shut up.”
Ka snuggles under the covers so we do, too. It’s late, almost four in the morning, and I’m exhausted. We are exhausted.
We negotiate ourselves until we’re comfy. It’s a tight fit with me and Bailey on the ends and Ka in the middle. Bailey tells Ka not to be late for the café in the mornings like I always am. I set the alarm, and then we drift into sleep with me occasionally mumbling comments and Ka grumbling answers.
“Don’t forget to feed Sundance in the morning.”
“I know.”
“And don’t forget to hand in the English essay.”
“I won’t.”
“Don’t wear my new running shoes ’cause I need them.”
She smacks me in the head to shut me up, and I don’t say another word. It’s exactly what I would’ve done.
* * *
Rama and I are standing at my bedroom window watching Bailey and Ka walk across the square to the café. It’s cold and white out, and they’re bundled up.
“Well, there I go. Off on my first day of school.”
“Howzit being two?”
“Strange but okay. I feel … lighter. Less burdened.”
He nods like he understands. We fall silent as Dante and Vaughn join Ka and Bailey on the sidewalk. Everyone hugs hello, and I feel myself growing tense. I don’t like the way Ka wrapped her arms around Dante’s neck. She shouldn’t be doing this in public. Now that Dante and Vaughn are attending school again, Michael and his brothers will surely know they’ve returned. But Ka shouldn’t be too affectionate with Dante. I have no choice but to trust her to stick to the plan. She has to tell Dante we performed the memory spell, and that it’s slow to work. No memories have emerged yet. He must be patient.
I ask Rama if he thinks Dante will be able to detect the difference between me and Ka. He says no. All necessary vitals are still functioning in Ka. No one will know that she is not me or that I’m not her.
Dad has some appointments today so we wait for him to leave, and then I hurry down for a quick breakfast. I pack in some energy and protein, and then we begin my first session without the distractions of school or Dante. Or Michael.
I squeeze my eyes shut and force Michael from my mind. I can’t let the pain of our breakup continue to haunt me. I have to let go of the unanswered questions. Apparently, he’s moved on and so should I.
We’
re situated on the floor and beginning our meditation. Rama asks, “What name have you given this day?” and I say, “Enlightenment. This is a day for true enlightenment.” He nods his approval and smiles. Then he tells me to sit on the bed, so I start to unwind and get up.
“No,” he says, stopping me. “Continue on as you are, and sit on the bed.” He gives me a meaningful look, and I take a moment to consider. Ah. I get it. He wants me to levitate myself onto the bed.
A smile breaks across my face. This is gonna be so cool!
Okay, smile gone and I’m serious, wiggling back into position. I close my eyes and focus on breathing. I settle into my sitting bones and inhale deeply, filling myself up to my collarbones, and then expelling it all in a slow, easy exhalation. Rama says to search for the light within me, and I find it quickly now. I no longer need to sift through burdens and distractions. The emotional disorder has dissipated and I easily create harmony. I can draw from the sacred spaces between my organs and cells, my muscles and ligaments. The body’s consciousness becomes the spirit’s, and there is nothing but light within me. Pale blue light of a higher dimension. I’m overwhelmed with compassion and wisdom. Unconditional love flows through me.
Rama says to search for the white triangles; they will interlock and overlap before my eyes: They are creational geometry. The moment I see them, they begin to spin and I feel a lightness of being. The spinning morphs their shape, and they bloom into a geometric flower whose pattern makes up the patterns of my cells. We are one and the same. I rotate with the effect and hear ringing in my ears.
The spaces within me vibrate and my vision splits: a dark place of submission against a bright, active, dominant force. They are opposites that push and pull within me, and I feel my consciousness elevate into another dimension, and then another. An aura of colors surrounds me as I climb into the fifth dimension and out again, rising beyond what is known and understood. I’m bathed in a rainbow of colors, the eyes of my imagination seeing it all, in and around solids, through liquids and darkness. I am beyond the conscious self and gliding through the gateway to glimpse into the spirit realm.