. . . relationship, I don’t want it to be about my brother. Or the orchard. Or the emails. I just want . . . I want you.
ONLY US
ZOE:
I don’t need you to sell me on reasons to want you
I don’t need you to search for the proof that I should
You don’t have to convince me
You don’t have to be scared you’re not enough
’Cause what we’ve got going is good
I don’t need more reminders of all that’s been broken
I don’t need you to fix what I’d rather forget
Clear the slate and start over
Try to quiet the noises in your head
We can’t compete with all that
So, what if it’s us?
What if it’s us and only us?
And what came before
Won’t count anymore, or matter
Can we try that?
What if it’s you?
And what if it’s me?
And what if that’s all that we need it to be?
And the rest of the world falls away
What do you say?
EVAN:
I never thought there’d be someone like you
Who would want me
ZOE (Laughs): Well . . .
EVAN:
So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go
But if you really see me
If you like me for me and nothing else
Well, that’s all that I’ve wanted
For longer than you could possibly know
So it can be us
It can be us and only us
And what came before
Won’t count anymore or matter
We can try that
EVAN/ZOE:
It’s not so impossible
EVAN:
Nobody else but the two of us here
EVAN/ZOE:
’Cause you’re saying it’s possible
ZOE:
We can just watch the whole world disappear
EVAN/ZOE:
’Til you’re the only one I still know how to see
EVAN:
It’s just you and me
ZOE:
It’ll be us
It’ll be us and only us
And what came before
Won’t count anymore
EVAN/ZOE:
We can try that
You and me
That’s all that we need it to be
And the rest of the world falls away
And the rest of the world falls away
The world falls away
The world falls away
And it’s only us
FIVE
School.
Evan runs right into Alana.
ALANA: Where were you last night?
(Evan looks at her, confused.)
I waited in the senior parking lot for twenty-three minutes.
EVAN (Remembering): Oh, shit. I completely forgot.
ALANA: Don’t worry, I went downtown and handed out the postcards without you.
EVAN: I’m really sorry. I must have put the wrong date in my phone . . .
ALANA: What is your deal, Evan? The Kickstarter deadline is a week from now and I feel like you are just like a thousand miles away. You haven’t made any new videos. You haven’t posted on the blog in like forever . . .
EVAN: Well, I was . . . I’ve been busy.
ALANA: Busy with what?
EVAN: Just . . . different stuff. How much money do we have left to raise?
ALANA: Oh. Not much. Just seventeen thousand dollars.
EVAN: I’m sure we’ll get there. We just need to, you know, keep people engaged.
ALANA: Exactly. That’s why I’m putting the emails between you and Connor online.
(Evan’s stomach drops.)
EVAN: What do you mean?
ALANA: Mrs. Murphy sent them to me. She said, there are a ton more, too. That you, like, show her a new one every week.
EVAN: Well, but they’re not, those conversations are really, they’re private.
(Alana doesn’t understand what he’s talking about.)
ALANA: Um, not anymore. They belong to everyone now. I mean, that’s the whole point. The more private they are, the better. That’s what people want to see. We have a responsibility to our community to show them everything, to tell them the truth.
EVAN: Our “community”?
ALANA: I’m sending you a list of questions to answer, because some of the emails don’t make sense.
EVAN: What?
ALANA: Well, like, you’ve been telling everyone that the first time you went to the orchard was the day you broke your arm. But then in other emails, you talk about going there together since, like, last November . . .
EVAN: Well, that’s because, I mean, those are probably just typos, and it sounds like you’re reading into them, like, way too much . . .
ALANA: You can explain it all when I send you the questions. You know how much the community loves hearing from you.
(Alana exits as Jared enters.)
JARED: Hey, so my parents are out of town this weekend. The last time they used the liquor cabinet was, like, Rosh Hashanah 1997, so we can drink whatever we want.
EVAN: I can’t this weekend. I have seventeen thousand dollars to raise. Remember The Connor Project? You’re supposed to be working on this?
JARED: Uh, remember you told me you didn’t need my help?
EVAN: I didn’t tell you to do nothing. I know you think this is all a joke but it isn’t. It’s important.
JARED: For Connor.
EVAN: Yeah.
JARED: You know, when you really stop and think about it, Connor being dead, that’s pretty much the best thing that’s ever happened to you, isn’t it?
EVAN: That’s a horrible thing to say.
JARED: Well, but, no, think about it. If Connor hadn’t died, no one would even know who you are. I mean, people at school actually talk to you now. You’re almost . . . popular. Which is just . . . wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles.
EVAN: I don’t care about any of that. I don’t care if people at school know who I am. All I wanted was to / help the Murphys.
JARED: / Help the Murphys. Yeah. I know. You keep saying that.
(Zoe enters.)
ZOE: Hey Jared. (To Evan) Hi.
(She kisses Evan and takes his hand, a public announcement of their relationship.)
JARED: Look at you, helping the Murphys.
(Jared exits.)
ZOE (To Evan): What was that?
EVAN (Hiding his misgivings with a smile): It’s nothing.
SIX
The Murphys’ living room.
Larry pours wine for himself, Cynthia, and Heidi.
CYNTHIA (To Heidi): Evan tells us you’re studying to be a lawyer?
HEIDI: Paralegal.
CYNTHIA (Looking to Larry): You’re kidding.
LARRY: I had no idea.
CYNTHIA: Aren’t you / —they’re always looking for paralegals.
LARRY: / We’re always, my firm, we’re literally always trying to find new paralegals.
HEIDI: I have another year to go before I even . . .
LARRY: Well, why don’t I give you my card at least . . .
(He reaches into his wallet.)
. . . and when you graduate, / you should absolutely . . .
CYNTHIA: / That is a great idea. Kismet.
HEIDI: Oh. No. You don’t have to do that.
CYNTHIA: It’s kismet.
(Uncomfortable, Heidi has no choice but to accept the card.)
HEIDI: Well. Thank you.
LARRY: Is red okay, Heidi?
HEIDI: Red would be great.
CYNTHIA: It’s from a vineyard outside of Portland—completely one hundred percent sustainable, the entire production process. They had a whole feature on them in the New York Times. Incredible.
LARRY: Not to mention, it tastes go
od, too.
(Larry passes out the wine glasses.)
Cheers.
(They drink.)
HEIDI: I’m so glad that you called this morning. I was, I’ve been agonizing over whether I should, if it was appropriate for me to reach out . . .
CYNTHIA: Oh, Heidi. We have, too. Evan says you’re so busy, I didn’t know if I should bother you . . .
HEIDI: I’m not that busy.
CYNTHIA: Well, I asked Evan if you minded him spending so much time here and he said it wasn’t a problem because of your schedule. With classes and work . . .
HEIDI: He . . . spends so much time here?
LARRY: Evan’s been a real . . . he’s been a great source of comfort for us these past few months.
CYNTHIA: Well, he and Connor, they were very close.
HEIDI: I have to admit, I didn’t . . . I really had no idea that he and Connor were even . . .
LARRY: We were the same.
CYNTHIA: Boys love to keep secrets.
LARRY: We’d never heard about Evan, we’d never met him . . .
HEIDI: Evan didn’t tell me anything.
CYNTHIA: Secret handshakes, secret tree houses . . .
(The front door opens and Zoe and Evan enter.)
ZOE: Sorry we’re late. Band went long again.
CYNTHIA: We’re just in here having a glass of wine, getting to know each other.
(Evan stops cold when he sees his mother.)
LARRY: We invited your mom to come join us for dinner tonight.
EVAN: Oh.
HEIDI: I didn’t realize that Evan was, that you were joining us, too.
CYNTHIA: I’m sorry, I didn’t think to tell you.
ZOE (Shaking hands): Hi, I’m Zoe. It’s so nice to meet you. Finally.
HEIDI (Puzzled): Oh. Good.
EVAN (To Zoe): Did you know about this?
ZOE: It was my idea.
LARRY: Why don’t you guys come sit down?
(Evan and Zoe do.)
EVAN (To Heidi): I thought you had work tonight.
HEIDI: Well, this seemed more important. So. I’m playing hooky.
CYNTHIA: We were just talking about how sneaky you and Connor were. Top secret.
EVAN (Changing the subject): Something smells good.
CYNTHIA: Chicken Milanese . . .
HEIDI: I didn’t realize you were spending so much time here.
EVAN: You’ve been working a lot.
HEIDI: Why did I think you were at Jared’s?
EVAN: I don’t know.
CYNTHIA: Oh but Evan, you call and tell your mother when you’re staying the night, right?
EVAN (Looking away from Heidi): Of course.
LARRY: You can rest assured we take very good care of him. We’ve got, he has a toothbrush, so we’re not sending him to bed with cavities.
HEIDI: How nice.
ZOE (To Heidi): Evan was showing me all of those scholarship contests that you found. That was really impressive. There are, like, a million.
HEIDI: Well, Evan is a great writer.
LARRY: I don’t find that hard to believe at all.
HEIDI: His teacher last year for English said he wrote one of the best papers she’d ever read about Sulu.
CYNTHIA: How about that.
EVAN (Quietly): It’s Sula.
HEIDI: What did I say?
EVAN: Sulu.
HEIDI: Okay.
LARRY: Sulu is a character on Star Trek, I believe . . .
(Everyone laughs, except for Heidi and Evan.)
HEIDI: My mistake.
(Zoe looks at her parents.)
ZOE: Speaking of scholarships . . .
(Evan looks at Zoe, confused.)
LARRY: I guess now is as good a time as any. Cynthia, do you want to . . .?
CYNTHIA: Well. Zoe happened to mention to us the other day that Evan was having some difficulty in terms of . . . the financial burdens of college. And Larry and I started thinking about it. And we were very fortunate to have been able to set aside some money for our son . . .
(Cynthia begins to falter, emotion creeping into her voice.
Larry takes her hand.
She waves him away, smiling stoically.)
I’m okay. I’m okay.
(She takes a breath.)
I called you this morning to invite you to come join us for dinner tonight, Heidi, because . . . well, first of all, because we want to thank you for allowing your son to have come into our lives. He was a dear, dear friend to our Connor, and we have come to just love him to pieces.
(Larry and Zoe laugh.)
And with your blessing, we would like to give Evan the money we put away for our son so that he can use it to fulfill his dreams, just like he helped Connor . . .
(She struggles to finish the thought.)
. . . fulfill his.
(A terrible silence.
Heidi is stunned.
Evan feels like puking.
Larry, Cynthia, and Zoe look at them expectantly, hopefully.)
LARRY: What do you think?
(Beat.
Heidi manages to plaster on a stiff smile.)
HEIDI: Wow. I’m, that is . . . I don’t know what to say. I’m . . .
LARRY: It would be such a gift to us if we could do this for Evan.
CYNTHIA: It would be a tremendous gift, Heidi.
HEIDI: Well, thank you so much, but . . . we’re going to be fine. I don’t have a lot of money, but I do have some.
CYNTHIA: Oh we didn’t mean / at all—
HEIDI: / No, no, I understand, I’m just, we do have money. So I’m sorry that you were under the impression that we didn’t. And, whatever money we don’t have, Evan will either get a scholarship or he’ll go to a community college and that’s . . . I think that’s the best thing for us to do. I don’t want Evan to get the idea that it’s okay to rely on other people for favors.
LARRY: It’s not a favor.
HEIDI: Well, but, as his mother, I need to set that example for him. That you can’t expect things from strangers.
CYNTHIA: We are not strangers.
HEIDI: No. Of course not.
(Heidi stands.)
Thank you for the wine. It was delicious.
CYNTHIA: You’re not staying for dinner?
HEIDI: I think I’d better go to work after all.
CYNTHIA: Oh no.
HEIDI: If I’d known Evan was so concerned about our finances, I would never taken the night off in the first place.
(Heidi goes, leaving the Murphys and Evan sitting there, silent.)
SEVEN
The Hansens’ house. Living room.
HEIDI: Do you have any idea how mortifying it is? To find out that your son has been spending every night in somebody else’s home and you didn’t even know it? You told me you were at Jared’s.
EVAN: If you’re not here, then why does it matter where I am?
HEIDI: They think you’re their son. These people.
EVAN: They’re not “these people.” They’re my . . .
HEIDI: What? / What are they?
EVAN: / I don’t know.
HEIDI: Because they act like you’re their, like they’ve adopted you, like I’m just, like I don’t even exist.
EVAN: They take care of me.
HEIDI: They’re not your parents. That is not your family, Evan.
EVAN: They’re nice to me.
HEIDI: Oh they’re lovely, lovely people.
EVAN: Yep.
HEIDI: They don’t know you.
EVAN: And you do?
HEIDI: I thought I did.
EVAN: What do you know about me? You don’t know anything about me. You never even see me.
HEIDI: I am trying my best.
EVAN: They like me. I know how hard that is to believe. They don’t think that I’m, that there’s something wrong with me, that I need to be fixed, like you do.
HEIDI: When have I ever said that?
EVAN: I have to go to therapy, I have to
take drugs.
HEIDI: I’m your mother. My job is to take care of you.
EVAN: I know. I’m such a burden. I’m the worst thing that ever happened to you. I ruined your life.
HEIDI: You are the only . . . the one good thing that has ever happened to me, Evan.
(Beat.)
I’m sorry I can’t give you anything more than that. Shit.
EVAN: Well, it’s not my fault that other people can.
(He leaves.
Heidi stands there, stunned.)
GOOD FOR YOU
HEIDI:
So you found a place where the grass is greener
And you jumped the fence to the other side
Is it good?
Are they giving you a world I could never provide?
Well I hope you’re proud of your big decision
Yeah I hope it’s all that you want and more
Now you’re free
From the agonizing life you were living before
And you say what you need to say
So that you get to walk away
It would kill you to have to stay
Trapped when you’ve got somethin’ new
Well I’m sorry you had it rough
And I’m sorry I’m not enough
Thank God they rescued you
So you got what you always wanted
So you got your dream-come-true
Well, good for you
Good for you you
You got a taste of a life so perfect
So you did what you had to do
Good for you
Good for you
(School.
Alana storms up to Evan.)
ALANA: Why did Connor kill himself?
EVAN (Taken aback): Wait what?
ALANA: He was doing better. That’s what he told you. In every single email. And then a month later, he kills himself? Why do so many things in these emails just not make sense?
EVAN: Because sometimes things don’t make sense, okay? Things are messy and complicated . . .
ALANA: Like you dating Zoe? (Lowering her voice) Do you know what people are saying about you?
Dear Evan Hansen Page 9