by M. K. Gilher
Whoa! I can't believe Aunt Helen went ballistic on the senator. Why didn't Uncle Bernie go to Aunt Helen to help her? Just what I need, more family drama they have decided not to tell me about.
I poke my head around Jacade's huge body blocking my view. "Everyone leave except Aunt Helen and Jacade." My words stick in my throat, and I have to cough to clear them. Uncle Bernie and Shane leave the room. Aunt Helen rises and smooths her hair.
Jacade steps to the side and faces me. "You okay?" His brow furrows.
"Yes. Fine. Let me talk to Aunt Helen."
He nods and walks back to the foot of my bed.
"What the hell, Aunt Helen? You attacked a senator in my room? With a bedpan?"
"Sweetie, I'm sorry I lost my cool. He made me so angry."
"Why?"
"I can't tell you."
"C'mon. Give me a break. I'm lying in a hospital bed, and you can't tell me what's going on? It's too late for that."
"Fair enough. Remember there are ears all over this place, so we have to choose our words carefully."
I nod and keep my eyes on hers.
"Remember I told you about my sister?"
Yes. Her sister, Vera, gave her life for loving a man like him.
"He was the man," she says.
The man Vera loved? "Did he…" kill her?
"I don't know. I don't have any proof."
"Oh my god. This must be so hard for you." He shouldn't have made veiled references to Vera's death in front of her. "He's a dick for saying what he said."
She lowers her head and squeezes her eyes shut. If he did it, I hate him for causing the pain on her face.
"All right. That's enough excitement for today," Jacade says in a quirky tone.
Does he find this amusing? I suppose Aunt Helen wielding a bedpan like a weapon was sorta comical, and the cuss words were entertaining coming from my dear aunt's mouth. Jacade escorts Aunt Helen to the door. "Take it easy, Helen."
She waves goodbye to me and leaves. Jacade turns his focus on me with humor still glinting in his eyes. "You. Relax. Don't let this trouble you."
"I'll try. But what do you think he whispered in Aunt Helen's ear that made her so upset?"
"I honestly don't know. I'm working on taking you back to my place, so we can meet with Helen. But I promise you, when I find out, I will tell you. No more secrets between us, Ivy." He takes my hand and kisses my fingers.
"Why were you so hostile to Uncle Bernie? Is it because he didn't send anyone to rescue you?"
"No. It's more complex than that. We'll talk as soon as I get you out of here. Now, rest."
Chapter 4
Ivy
Jacade sets my belongings on the table outside the elevator doors of his penthouse. He crosses his arms and bends one knee, watching me as I brace myself on the wall and shuffle into his foyer.
With a loud sigh, he wraps his arm around my waist and guides me forward.
"I can do it." We hobble down the steps to his living room.
"So you've said."
I grumble and arch my back to escape his hold. He adjusts his arms, wrapping them further and tighter around me, squeezing me to his side.
"I love you, baby, but you're a terrible patient."
"Shut it, Jacade." My elbow bounces off his solid ribs.
He angles us toward his bathroom. "First, you need a shower."
Oh lord, no. "You're not bathing me."
"How do you intend to bathe by yourself?"
Umm… with a massaging showerhead? Three days with Jacade's nine-inch cock at my back, a girl needs some time alone in a shower.
"Right." He lifts my T-shirt over my head and lowers my sweatpants.
I stand next to his bathroom sink in my underwear, my body stiff and bent at the waist.
"Ready?" He holds his hand under the stream to test the temperature.
"I'd prefer to do this by myself." I stare at my feet and cross my arms to cover myself.
"Eyes on me." He grips my cheeks and forces me to look in his vibrant pupils. "Spill it."
"It's just, well, I haven't shaved… anywhere."
"Babe, not only am I a doctor and have seen the human body in all its permutations, I'm the man who loves all of you." His warm fingers caress my cheek. "You're breathtaking under any conditions. Groomed or not. Now, get in."
I slip out of my bra and panties, and he leads me into the shower, my back facing the nozzle.
He strips and climbs in behind me. "Lean your head back."
I rest my head on his shoulder. "Mmm. The warm water is heaven."
"Your wet, naked body is heaven."
I smile as he massages my scalp with gentle fingers. Vanilla scent mixes with the steam. "The shampoo smells like a cookie." I giggle.
His cock twitches against my lower back. "No giggling." He rinses the shampoo from my hair.
"Thank you for doing this," I say quietly.
"I wouldn't have it any other way." He lifts up his razor and leers at me. "I could always shave you. I like the idea of a Bermuda triangle on your sweet pussy. I know I could get lost down there for hours."
He didn't just say… "You're awful! I'm outta here!" I reach for the handle to the shower and he grabs me.
"I was kidding… kind of." He chuckles, and I elbow him in the ribs.
I lean onto his chest and savor the feel of his wet torso on my back. His hard cock pokes the crack of my ass.
"How long until we can, umm, ya know…"
"Fuck?" He glides the washcloth across my stomach, avoiding my incision.
"Yeah."
"Kelch said five weeks. No intercourse or orgasms."
Oh. "That feels like a long time."
"Yes, yes it does."
I reach up to wrap an arm around his neck. "You can still come though."
He groans and throws his head back. The rough skin of his thumb scratches my sensitive flesh as his hand skims up my stomach, stopping beneath my breasts. "No. I'm not jacking the beanstalk. I'm abstaining for the five weeks."
"What?"
He arches his neck to look me in the eyes. "I'm not taking Herman to the circus until you can come with me."
I laugh at his serious tone for such ridiculous words. "That's silly, Jacade."
"No, it's not. I have to shut down that part of myself right now. In case you haven't noticed, I have a giant schlong and little to no self-restraint in your presence. It's all or nothing, or I'll re-injure you. You're going to take your meds and focus on eating, resting, and physical therapy." He rests his forehead on mine. "We'll have sex again when you're healed." The warm water drips between our faces. "And it'll be fucking spectacular fucking."
He presses a wet, smiling kiss to my lips.
Jacade guides me out of the bathroom and into my robe. He has me sit on the edge of the bed as he slides my cotton underwear up my legs and he helps me with my bra.
He brings me one of his soft, black V-neck tees and pulls it over my head. "You look good in my tee." His eyes are warm and soft, just like his tee.
After I'm situated in his bed, he hands me a pain pill and water. "We should talk about something."
I gulp down the medicine. Yeesh, nothing good ever comes after those words. He might as well have said, it's you not me. "You're scaring me."
"Don't worry. You're fine."
I ignore the stab of pain in my belly and sit up. "Please just tell me."
He takes my hands in both of his and squeezes my palms. "During the surgery, Jude had to make a difficult decision, one no physician ever wants to make. Especially when it's your brother's girl." His eyes dart between my face and our entwined hands. "To stop the internal bleeding he had to…"
"He had to what?"
His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows. "He had to perform a total hysterectomy."
"What does total mean?" I have an idea, but I need to hear him say it.
"Your uterus and cervix had to be removed."
A deep cavern opens up in my stomach
.
"That means I'll never be able to have children?"
"That's correct. They had to take your ovaries and tubes too. It was the only way to save you. I'm so sorry."
"Oh."
The bottom of the cavern drops out. I clutch at a braided rope holding me aloft over a dark abyss.
I'm hollow.
His fingers skim my chin. "Sweetheart, please say something."
"I- I mean… I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to have kids." I gaze at his statuesque face. We could've had a son with brilliant blues, or a beauty of a daughter with jet-black hair—created out of our love. "But I never thought I'd meet a man like you." I can't control the hitch in my voice. "Suddenly, I long to give you children more than anything."
Jacade's forehead crinkles. "This isn't about me. You're all I need."
"That can't be true. You must want kids too."
"No." He climbs over me to the other side of the bed and gathers me in his arms. "Only you."
I squeeze my eyes shut and collapse on his bare chest. I take in the comforting scent of him and weave my fingers in the ripples of tight abs. "Viktor stole this from me. I'll never feel a baby move in my tummy. Never have a little person to call me Momma."
He cups my chin and slants my face to his. "DNA doesn't make a parent, love does, and you've got oceans of love to give. There's so many kids out there, separated from their parents for whatever tragic reason, stuck in the uncertainty of foster care like you were, desperate for a parent to keep them."
"Yeah, I'd love to be able give that to a little girl or boy." My vision blurs, and I take a deep breath.
"Any child would be thrilled to have you as a mother," he whispers.
"But not you as a father?" He looks away and his jaw tightens. "Not me as a father."
He doesn't see us adopting together? We'll never have a family?
"Why?"
"I'm no role model. I can barely keep you alive, much less a small child."
The frayed rope I was clinging to snaps, and I plummet into the cavernous pit. "I can't take this right now."
His solid arms rock me gently.
"I feel broken." A raw sob rips through me. I'm glad he can't see my ugly cry. The first drop hits his sleek skin, and I smear it with my fingers, trying to make it disappear.
"You're not broken." His tender whisper caresses my ear. "I've got you."
I fist the blanket and heave the emptiness onto him. He holds me as I mourn the loss of a child and a family that could have been ours, but never will be.
My tears subside after a while, and my breathing evens out.
Jacade speaks into the stillness of the room. "When you're ready, if you need to, you can talk about this with Kelch's wife. She's a therapist."
"No. I'll be fine. I just need sleep."
He pets my hair and presses his lips to my forehead. "Okay. Sleep now. Everything will be all right."
Behind my eyelids, a handsome mini-Jacade in overalls takes the hand of an innocent mini-Ivy wearing a yellow sundress. My heart breaks as I watch them stroll hand-in-hand down a country road. They turn and wave goodbye to me before they vanish into the setting sun.
***
Jacade
My hand fans out on the granite countertop as I focus on the lack of whiskey in my tumbler. Can't drink away the memory of her tears soaking my skin.
"You rang?" Jett strolls into the kitchen.
"How the hell did you get in?"
He shoots me an egotistical grin. "Really?"
Right. The finest assassin in both territories gets in wherever he wants.
He hops onto a barstool at the island and inspects my lip. "How are the injuries healing?"
"Fine. You did a good job. As usual." I look to the foyer. "Chowder with you?"
Chowder wanders in before Jett can answer. "Trip." Chowder gives me a curt nod and sits down next to Jett. His gaze darts around my place but never settles on me. He props his toes on the rung of the stool and bobs his knee.
"Thanks for coming so quickly. I asked you here because Bernard's playing some evil fucking game." I stare at Chowder until I get his dilated pupils to focus on me. "I want you to clock Bernard."
He laughs. "Why the fuck do you want me to monitor his movements? I'm not a goddamn scout."
"Watch your mouth. Your order is to find out what he's got on Boothby. Report to me daily. Every place, person, or animal he comes in contact with. Especially if he meets up with Gerry. Inform me immediately. Got it?"
"Yeah." His shoulders slouch.
That's right, you take instructions from me now, Chuck. No objection. "That's all, Chowder. Get going. I'm going to speak with Jett privately." He stands, and I point at him. "Don't fuck this up."
He leaves without speaking. Wise choice, my friend. The monitor shows him exiting the building.
"Chowder's acting odd," Jett states.
"He's using again." I stare at the wavy lines in the counter.
"So, fill me in."
"Bernard's got dirt on Boothby, and Ivy's in the middle of it. Bernard wants to be boss."
"Fuck." He drags out the word.
I felt the same way, brother.
Jett's eyes narrow. "Why did you put Chowder on him?"
"Inside connection. Chowder's been hanging out with Bernard at the track. Not sure if he'll snitch for me. Testing him."
"Hmm." He slips his hands into his pockets. "So, what do you need from me?"
"There's a good chance I'll go up against Bernard in the vote. I want you as my right-hand man."
His neck snaps back. "I can't do that. I stay in the shadows, do my job, and get paid. That's it."
"Jett, I need you." C'mon, brother. Back me up here.
He shakes his head. "I've tried before. I vowed never again. People die at that table. I fear for you at the head of it."
"No one will fuck with me if you're my second in command. They aren't that stupid."
"Yeah. I'd slaughter anyone who doesn't fall in line under you. Let me chew on it." He presses his lips together. "When's the vote?"
"Depends on Raymond's health. We might want to check in on him."
He rises from the barstool and walks to the door. "What day does Bernard do surgeries?"
"Thursdays. Eastside Surgery Center."
Jett smiles. "I'll slip an audio feed in his watch when he puts it in his locker."
"That would be helpful."
"Gotta say, brother, pissed as hell at Bernard after we've been loyal for years."
"Me too. It's a choice we made though. Let me know if he contacts you. We're not doing shit for him till I figure this out."
Chapter 5
Jacade
The security monitor shows Bernard arriving in the lobby of my building, and I call down to Joe. "Send him up."
"Yes, sir."
Bernard walks into the foyer. "How is she?" he asks as he hangs his coat on the rack.
"She's doing well. Sleeping."
I walk to the bar to pour him a finger of Chivas.
"You brought her here yesterday? Only three days in the hospital?"
"Don't question me, Bernard. She's safer here. Have a seat." I point to the couch and offer him the whiskey.
He takes the drink and sits. "Can we speak openly?"
"I don't know. Can we?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" He stares at me with wide eyes.
I stand opposite him with my hands on my hips. "Viktor got real talkative before I filled him with lead."
He glances at the exit. No way out now, old man.
"What did he tell you?"
"Enough to conclude she's a pawn in some sick scheme you've got going with Boothby."
Sweat beads on his brow. "Viktor was insane."
"Is that how you're gonna play it?"
"I don't have anything going on with Boothby."
Yeah, right.
I lower my face to his and speak in low, threatening tones. "Your word means shit to me. You've lied
to me from day one. You told me Viktor was her boyfriend. You didn't tell me she was homeless. I made the deal without knowing all the facts."
"If you hadn't made the deal, Jacade, where would you be now? Not drinking fine whiskey in a penthouse overlooking Navy Pier."
"Maybe not, but I could've been with her all this time." I sweep my arm through the air, cutting through all the lost years.
His face reddens, and he shakes his head. "Listen, Jaca—"
"Is she a commodity in your pocket?" I can't control the volume of my voice. "An asset you didn't want me to have? Were you afraid I'd be too powerful with her at my side?"
"Settle down, Trip."
"Settle down? You never should've told her Viktor got to me. She went running blind into a deathtrap!"
"Why don't you discuss this with me since I'm the one you're talking about?"
Ivy. Oh shit.
She's standing with one hand on the doorframe, the other across her middle. She looks sleepy and hot as fuck in a pair of my boxer shorts folded at the waist and a pink T-shirt so tight it shows the imprint of her bra through the fabric.
"What deal?" she asks.
I slide my gaze to Bernard and raise my eyebrows. Let him field this one.
"I made a deal with Jacade to protect you from Viktor, which is why he joined the practice."
That part is true. He's quick on his feet for an old geezer.
"I see. And why did Jacade ask you if I'm a commodity?"
"I don't know," Bernard replies.
"But you do know. You both know and yet you stand before me again and again mute and culpable. With mouths that spew garbage and insult me by excluding me." She takes a step toward us with one hand in the air, but stops and grabs her abdomen. Her knees bend and she lowers her head.
I rush to Ivy and scoop her into my arms.
She grunts. "Jacade, no."
I angle my head at Bernard. "Get out!"
"I was leaving anyway." He turns and leaves.
I place her on the bed, and she curls into a fetal position.
"I'll be right back."
I lock the front door and man the alarm, checking the monitors to make sure Bernard left the building—and Chowder is following him. I swipe her Percocet on my way back to the bedroom.
"Sit up." I help her to elevate her head and take the pill.