Kara sighed, pushing away the reality that she would never have a chance with a man like him, and went back to her daydream. She pulled more of her blonde hair in front of her face and watched him. That man is way out of my league. Hot men do not notice girls like me, especially that man. He was a big man and none of that bulk was soft. He had brown hair that he tied back, but it looked to be about shoulder length. She was thankful she had her hair in front of her face to hide her blush when he looked over at her. Surely he thought that she was reading over paperwork and not staring at him. She thought she had hidden her face well.
Kara raised her eyes to meet his. There it was again, that spark she felt when he looked at her. It made it so easy to fantasize. He would wrap his arm around her as they walked and not be ashamed that she was soft and round instead of skinny and sporting hard muscles. When men like Ryan cussed at her, her FBI agent would just give him a look and he would run away in fear. He would keep her safe, always. She would never feel like he just put up with her because no one else would have her. She let out a sound of disgust. Who was she kidding? That would never happen. She knew a man like him would never look twice at her. If she was going to dream, she figured she would dream big.
Through the veil of her bangs, she saw Deputy Marshall and the FBI agent leave and she went back to her daydreaming. She imagined him kissing her. He would hold her by her hair so she could not escape his mouth as he claimed her. His tongue would force its way into her mouth while she raised her hands up to pull the hair tie free and run her fingers through his hair. Even in her fantasy, she wondered what was wrong with her. She was an independent, strong woman, not some weak-ass damsel who needed a man to save her. She learned long ago she was all alone. No man would ever be there to save her, so she had better get her shit together and knock off all the fantasy crap. Just when she had herself back under control and back to reality, the daydream continued. She was held down, helpless as he took what he wanted from her. The more she begged him to stop, the more he took from her. He ripped her shirt off and his hot mouth covered her nipple and sucked it into his mouth. Her stomach felt tight and she felt arousal wake her nerves when the phone rang. Its loud ringer shocked her back to the bright office.
“Right, back to reality,” she muttered to herself. Shaking her head slightly she blinked and looked around the office, seeing the overworn carpet filled with coffee stains and dirt from office workers, victims and police officers walking back and forth through there every day.
“Crawford County Sheriff’s Department, this is Kara. How may I help you?” she answered.
“Kara, how dare you have the locks changed? How the fuck am I supposed to get the rest of my shit?” Kara froze at that hateful tone that sent cold dread through her. Her stomach muscles tightened even more, but this time in anxiety and shame. The memory was a month old, but it still hit her like it just happened yesterday. She came home early from work with the flu. A purse was sitting on the table next to her front door, and it all hit her, despite how hard she tried to forget. She walked from the small entranceway into the living room. There, a woman’s shoes sat in the middle of the floor. The sick feeling hit her again and Kara swallowed, trying to keep the bile from rising in her throat. She turned back into the entrance to her bedroom, a sick dread filling her when she saw the door was closed. She always left it open so her cat, Sophie, could come and go as she pleased. Despite the apprehension, she continued to the door and opened it. Ryan was there in bed with the waitress he had flirted with all night while they were supposed to be out for a nice dinner. Ryan looked far angrier at being caught than sorry, while the woman smiled at her like she won a prize and Kara was the loser.
Kara forced the memory back, refusing to cry anymore over him. “Ryan.” She looked around to see who would see her on the phone. Thankfully, no deputies were around. They had defended her, given her their support and even come to change her locks for her. She knew the deputies would be furious about Ryan harassing her at work, but having them know even more of her drama was too much. She was humiliated enough with the rumors Ryan started around town about her being too lazy, and too plain to attract anyone truly interested in her, and how she was a lousy fuck. He had continued saying that was the only reason he had fallen for the waitress—she didn’t take care of his needs. She could not deny any of it. She really was lousy in bed and she had to remember to fake noises of pleasure. In reality, she had never experienced anything like what she read about in romance books, those women with screaming orgasms who craved sex. That was not her. Sex was something to be endured for a happy man, but apparently he wasn’t happy with her faking it, either.
“Deputy Marshal suggested I change the locks, so a few of the deputies came and changed them.”
“You’re as stupid as you are fat, Kara,” Ryan spat into the phone. “You always listen to those idiots there. You’re fucking worthless. Shit, how the hell did I put up with you for so long? Fucking bitch, I know it was you that sent those assholes to harass me. Tina—”
Kara hung up the phone, cutting off any more of his vile rant at her. Breathing hard and fighting tears, she looked around again to make sure no one was there. It was still empty, but she heard voices coming. It sounded like the Sheriff, Tanner, and the FBI agent. She reached down into her desk to get her bottle of water to gulp it, hoping she did not look too pathetic. Don’t cry. Be strong and put on a brave face or you will make a complete idiot of yourself, she told herself as she tried to breathe through the pain that made her want to break down.
The door opened and the Sheriff, the FBI agent, and her friend Laura walked in. Laura took her desk, giving Kara a provocative look, and pointed at the FBI agent just as he turned and looked at both of them. Kara laughed, despite having the urge to cry. Laura was always flirting or trying to give Kara ideas about what to do with whatever man was on her radar at the moment. Laura gave him a naughty smile as she turned to her work, but he didn’t notice Laura at all. His eyes had focused on Kara. They bore into her like he could see through to her soul. His gaze went from curious to grim while he looked into her eyes. When he looked at her like that, she got the feeling he could see what she was feeling. Surely she was imagining it, but at times like this when she was barely holding herself together, he would stare at her as if concentrating, then his expression changed. His lips firmed into a tight line and his eyes tightened in unease. Surely he was seeing how ugly, fat, and stupid she was. He should be looking at Laura. She was perfect. She had curves in all the right places, beautiful, long brown hair that always seemed to sit just right, parted down the side, and blue eyes. Laura always claimed she wore the same size clothing as her, so that must mean Laura just wore her weight much better. Kara knew she was plain and had way too many curves in the wrong places. She could not wear skinny jeans and breathe, and her blonde hair had just enough curl to make it frizz in the Kansas humidity no matter how many potions she put on it. She had boring brown eyes and a pale complexion that never, ever tanned. She burned, peeled, and went back to looking pasty white. She smiled sadly and blew a strand of her blonde hair out of her eyes.
While she watched the FBI agent work, she contemplated why some thefts would attract federal attention. Some drunken homeless men had claimed some monsters had robbed them and were hiding down in the mine. The officers laughed at the reports and wondered what they were adding to their moonshine. The next day, the FBI agent had shown up, claiming crimes had been committed on federal land. She was not sure of his real reason, since no one believed his excuse, but she sure enjoyed watching him and pretending she could have some fun with him. Her ex’s words echoed in her head again, reminding her of the reasons why she would never have a chance. This was not the first time he had verbally attacked her. Far too often he pointed out every one of her many flaws. Her hair was just plain and too wavy and frizzed in the humidity. She had ugly freckles on her face and, god, she needed more makeup, but even that may not be enough to cover her ugly face. These were s
ome of the things Ryan had thrown at her in the month since she had thrown him out.
She blinked against the tears that still threatened to fall when she thought of what he said. He just said that to hurt me because I threw him out when I caught him cheating on me, she thought. She tried to remind herself, but his accusation of her being plain and ugly had hit way too close to home. She made good money working for the Sheriff and it seemed that was all he had liked about her. She made enough to get a nice little house on a quiet street. It was nothing grand, but it was hers.
She pulled more of her hair in front of her face to cover how close she was to crying. It was bad enough to think her boss heard the rumors of a bad breakup, but to see her crying at work was too much. She did not have anyone to turn to anymore. No one waited for her to come home. Ever since her father died, she had been completely alone. Maybe that was why she settled for a creep like Ryan. He did nothing to fill her loneliness. In fact, she felt even more so with him. She kept breathing and trying to focus on inputting the latest spending receipts.
“Excuse me,” Kara glanced up and nearly choked. It was him, the agent she fantasized about every single day standing right there in front of her desk. He was even hotter up close. Her mouth went dry as she stared into his startling brown eyes. It almost looked like he had colored contact lenses. She didn’t know why. A fine man like him did not need a new eye color to look hot. He was tall, at least six feet if not more. When she first saw him, she assumed his suit coat made him look bigger, but with his coat off and his white button-up shirt almost see through she could see the man was all bulk. She wondered how many muscles the man had under that white shirt. The man looked like a walking sex machine. She wished she could take him home and have hot, wild sex with him. Not that she really could. She never enjoyed sex, just fantasized about it.
She blushed at her erotic thoughts, wondering when and how her libido got so out of control. To make it worse, he was standing right there looking down at her with a frown on his face. He always looked so serious. She wondered if he ever smiled. Those lips would look so much better smiling. His full but firm lips looked perfect for kissing. She imagined lifting her face so he could lean down and kiss her. Her hand would stroke his face. He looked Italian. Would he speak Italian words to her?
“Excuse me,” he repeated, and this time his full lips twitched as if he was amused.
Kara blushed even brighter, being caught once again daydreaming. One more thing about her that would ensure she would die an old maid. She lived in her head way too much and was often caught daydreaming. So many people lost patience with her as they gave her another list of what was wrong with her.
“Hi, Agent…?” She stared at him wide-eyed, not sure what to call him. It suddenly occurred to her that she was having sexual fantasies about a man and she did not even know his name. Get your libido under control, woman, and do your job, she thought as she tried to look at him like she was not fantasizing about taking him to bed. The knowing smile on his face made her once again wonder if he could sense what she was fantasizing about. It was just too eerie that she could be having sexual fantasies about the man and he looked at her as if he knew exactly what was going on in her head.
“Joran, my name is Special Agent Joran,” he told her when she stammered and blushed bright enough to light up the room from the glow coming off of her face. She knew she sounded breathless and was making a fool out of herself gawking at him like she was. She could not help herself. The man was an Adonis. Maybe an Italian Adonis, with that complexion. No, that is not Italian, she mused. Kara studied his features as she tried to guess what nationality he could be. Maybe Mediterranean or Middle Eastern. She thought of other darker-skinned nationalities. He did not fit the description for Spanish.
He cleared his throat, making her blush again and stammer in embarrassment. “Right, Special Agent Joran. What can I do for you?” Would you like me to kiss you? You have some very kissable lips. Her cheeks were going to become permanently red if she did not get all this blushing under control. Get ahold of yourself, Johnson, she thought to herself, hoping the stern voice to herself would help her regain some control over her libido.
The agent raised an eyebrow at her red cheeks, which made her blush even more. “Is there something wrong, Miss—?”
“Kara, call me Kara. No, I am just…” She tried to laugh. “No, nothing is wrong at all. What can I do for you, Agent Joran?” She breathed a sigh of relief that she finally managed to sound professional.
“First, you can tell me who upset you.” Kara could tell by the authority in the tone of his voice and the way he looked at her that he was used to being obeyed. That was very bad for her. Kara tried to constantly remind herself that she was a strong, independent woman, but when a man like Agent Joran came along she completely forgot that. She suddenly wanted to do everything this man demanded of her.
“It’s nothing, just some personal crap going on,” Kara mumbled, reminding herself that she did not have to do anything this sexy man wanted her to do. Her eyes were locked on his and she found it hard to breathe. Just having him standing this close to her made her heart race and her panties wet. She could smell him, and good lord, did he smell good. She inhaled his scent, wondering what it was. She thought she was pretty good at recognizing men’s colognes. It smelled wild, like a man who worked hard outdoors, yet it was pleasing. All of the wild outdoor smells without the sweaty-man stink. Kara inhaled deeply, enjoying his scent. Whatever it was, it was a very sexy-smelling aroma. She used to pick out her dad’s cologne for him. She thought she knew all of the different scents. She wondered where he got this intoxicating one. Maybe it was new.
Joran cleared his throat. Son of a bitch, I am doing it again, she thought. Kara would have groaned in frustration, but that would have just added to her weirdness. “Sorry, I just have a lot going on right now.” Kara tried to look away, but the man put his hand under her chin, drawing her eyes back to his, and held her face still.
Joran held her in his strong hand. She tried to pull away, but his hand tightened, holding her exactly where he wanted. His eyes focused on hers. Kara felt trapped by his gaze. She tried to look away, but it was as if an invisible force held her. Every nerve in her body tingled. Suddenly, the force released her, but Joran kept a hold of her chin. “I am very good at investigation. I can find out on my own and then punish you for withholding information.”
Kara shivered at the dark, determined look in his eyes and the threat to punish her for not telling the entire dramatic story of her horrible breakup with Ryan. She should have been horrified, but instead she got a warm feeling between her legs at the thought of being over his lap as he spanked her. Instantly she shook the very notion of spanking being any fun. Pain was not fun at all. Still, she was thankful she was sitting down, with the way her knees were shaking at the delicious thought.
She tried to look away from him but he tightened his hold on her chin. She was trapped again, being forced to obey him. It was making her head swim at the delicious feeling of being under his complete control.
“What is it about you I find so fascinating?” It sounded more like he was thinking out loud instead of asking her a question. He gently ran his thumb along her lower lip. The nerve endings in her lips tingled with desire for him to lower his face down and claim whatever he wanted from her.
“I don’t know, Agent Joran. I am not fascinating at all. I am rather boring and fat.” Kara blinked, trying to break the spell the man had put her under, only to have his face harden darkly.
“I do not ever want to hear those words out of your pretty mouth again. First, you are anything but boring, my lovely girl. Second, I do not understand your culture’s obsession with your females being skin and bone. Women should be soft so they can properly take a man.”
“Take a man?” Kara asked in a breathless whisper.
Joran leaned in, his voice seductively soft in her ear. “Yes, take a man, a warrior. Some of these little women around h
ere would break under a warrior’s rough use. Not you, though. You are built to take a warrior. I could hold you still as I thrust into you hard, over and over until I spilled into you. I would not need to be careful that I broke you as I would some of these tiny little females that are running around, unprotected.”
Joran ran his finger down her cheek and to her neck, making Kara shiver. Her pussy throbbed as she imagined him holding her down, forcing her to take him. She may even try to fight him, but he would force her to give him everything he wanted. She shivered again at the thought of him forcing her, making her obey him. His thumb came back up and traced her lips again. She nearly moaned and squeezed her legs shut tight to try and relieve the ache between her legs.
Again, Joran got that look in his eyes as if he knew what was going through her head. “You are perfect for a warrior, for me.” He whispered just loud enough for Kara to hear. Her heart raced and she felt her panties were soaked with arousal now.
Kara imagined him kissing her then, taking her right there in the sheriff’s office. She watched his face when lust suddenly turned to regret.
“Why is it here with you that I find something besides vengeance? If only I could really have you. I would spend every moment of my life protecting you, being the man you need.”
“The man I need?” Kara was breathless as her mind raced at the implications.
“Yes, the man you need. I have watched you these last couple of weeks. You are always taking care of everyone while never allowing anyone to care for you. You need a man that will make you his priority.” Joran had leaned in close so he could whisper in her ear. It made tingles tickle down her neck as his breath slid across her skin.
Starlight [Warriors of Dareen] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 2