Evie stopped dancing and ran to the couch, jumping onto it face first and then wiggling up next to her sister. “Who’s that?” she asked as Taylor stilled. Danny’s face smiled back at her. She touched a single finger to his cheek, drawing it down to that patented goofy smile. She’d always been able to draw that so perfectly because it was burned into her mind.
Taylor was surprised to find herself smiling, not a single tear in her eyes. “That’s Danny.” It hurt her to think her sister was too young to remember the face of the boy who had been such a part of their family, but she’d tell her about him, often and in detail. She wanted Evie to know him, to love him.
When she’s older, Taylor thought. I’ll explain everything.
She flipped through the rest of the book. It was almost full even though she’d only gotten it weeks before his death. She went through sketchbooks like kids went through candy.
Leaning forward, she threw her phone on the table to keep from losing it in the cushions of the couch and then grabbed one of the charcoal pencils she’d put there. This one she’d have to do from memory. Closing her eyes, she developed the picture in her mind.
Evie leaned in, watching her as she started to draw. Suddenly, she didn’t know why she’d quit. This feeling, of control, of creation, was what she’d needed.
Evie jumped off the couch when the front door slammed and ran to their dad. He scooped her up and walked into the room.
“This is a nice surprise,” he said.
Taylor barely glanced up as she concentrated.
“Doug,” her mother said, coming in from the kitchen and pointing to the book that was perched on their daughter’s knees and the small smile gracing her lips.
He was silent as he made his way towards her and sat down, not wanting to interrupt. Taylor finally glanced up to find her father’s eyes shining. He moved closer and pulled her against his side and placed a kiss on the top of her head.
“We’ve missed that smile, sweetheart,” he whispered.
She treated him to a wider one as she looked up and then glanced pointedly back at the drawing she was working on.
“Right,” he chuckled. “I remember. Don’t interrupt the artist when she’s hard at work.”
She nodded, and he stood. Before he walked too far, her phone chimed from its spot on the coffee table.
“I’ll grab that for you,” her dad said, reaching forward. His hand stilled as he looked at the screen. Instead of handing it to her waiting hand, he answered it and held it to his ear.
“Walker,” he barked. Taylor snapped her eyes up to look at him. “This is my daughter’s phone.”
He listened for a moment.
“Don’t try to back down now,” he snapped. “I want to know what’s going on.”
Another beat of silence, and Taylor held her breath.
“I’ll deal with you tomorrow at practice.”
He hung up the phone and set it back on the table, not meeting her eyes.
“Let me just ask you this,” he finally said. “Does Josh have something to do with the smiling and the drawing?”
“Yeah, Dad. We’re friends. He’s…” A tear slid down her cheek and landed on the crumbling castle stage she was drawing. “Please, don’t scare him away.”
He sighed and pulled her into another hug. “Walker’s a good kid. I won’t keep him from being friends with you. Not if he keeps making you smile. It’s been too long since we’ve seen that, and I’ve missed it.”
Sitting in his locker stall before practice, Josh needed something to take his mind off Coach Scott’s imminent arrival. It was all he could think about ever since the phone call. Taylor hadn’t called him back, but he hadn’t expected her to. She, too, had to face her father.
A part of him wondered why Coach would be upset. He seemed to like Josh well enough. There was only a few years’ age difference between him and Taylor. But then he remembered Danny, and how any father would be protective of their daughter’s heart after that.
He had to remind himself daily that they were just friends. Maybe Coach wouldn’t be so mad. They became better friends with every moment they spent together. Watching her talk about Danny had nearly broken his heart. He’d do anything for her to not have to feel that pain anymore, but pain makes you who you are. Hers made her strong. Others might not see it through the tears that came easy to her eyes, but Josh saw it in the way she walked through life. She was still going and little pieces of herself were returning. It was something special to watch.
Sighing, he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and flipped through emails on his phone. His agent wanted to set up a meeting to start talking about his expectations for his new contract this summer. Too soon, he thought. He still had a lot to prove, and it was a long season.
There was an email from his dad’s assistant. A request for two tickets to a game and flight information. If he was free, he’d be expected to have dinner with his father and whoever his companion was on the night they arrived. Wanting to see what the girl’s name was this time, he scrolled down, stopping when he got to a name.
“Shit,” he groaned, throwing his phone into his bag.
“You okay, man?” Zak asked, walking up to him.
“Fine.”
“Yeah,” Zak scoffed, “you look fine. Look, it’s none of my business, but you might want to get it together for practice.”
“I know.” Josh glanced back to his bag where the phone with the offending email sat nestled in with his street clothes.
Ethan. Josh’s brother was coming to Columbus with his dad. He’d tried to reach Josh a few more times over the last month, but Josh wanted nothing to do with him - he hadn’t for two years. Now, there was no more avoiding it. They’d have to have it out.
Just what I needed, Josh thought. Something else to stress about today.
Coach Peterson came into the room, snapping Josh’s thoughts back to the task at hand. The other coaches were behind him. Coach Scott locked eyes with Josh, but Josh couldn’t figure out if it was anger he saw. After a moment, Coach Scott gave him a nod of acknowledgment and then broke eye contact.
Josh let out a breath before following his teammates out onto the ice.
“He really didn’t say anything to you?” Taylor asked as Josh unlocked the door to his apartment.
“I told you this last week,” Josh said. “And again yesterday. He hasn’t mentioned it.”
“Guys,” Abigail said, “I don’t think I should be here.”
“Relax.” Josh smirked. “Mack isn’t even here.”
Abigail’s shoulders relaxed, and Taylor laughed.
“You know,” Abigail nudged her roommate. “I used to think you didn’t know how to laugh.”
“And I used to think you didn’t know how to keep your legs closed.” Taylor’s clamped her lips shut as if she couldn’t believe what she just said, but Abigail burst into a fit of giggles beside her.
“I like this side of you.”
Josh watched the girls with a grin on his face.
“It’s just, I haven’t seen him since he learned we were friends.” She paused, thinking. “I mean, I used to be friends with all the guys on his team in Portland. That was different though. We were just kids. Now there’s the whole professional athlete thing. I hate to break it to you, but you guys kind of have a bad reputation.”
Abigail snorted beside her and a low laugh rumbled through Josh’s chest before he said, “You’re feisty today.”
She shrugged and dropped the bag of Chinese food on the table.
“I want to show you something.” Taylor’s face turned serious, all trace of laughter disappearing. She reached into her messenger bag and pulled out her sketchbook, flipping through it until she found the picture she was looking for.
The nerves caused her arms to shake as she slowly held it out to him. He looked down and inhaled quickly. “This is amazing,” he whispered, taking the book from her hands to continue his perusal. She’d drawn the castle he’d
taken her to by the river in such detail.
“Is that us?” he asked, looking up to meet her eyes.
“Yes.”
There were two people sitting together on the stage. He had his arm around her and she was smiling. That’s when it hit him. Taylor hadn’t drawn a scene. This wasn’t just the two of them at the river. She’d recreated an exact moment in time. One single second where she’d smiled at him and he’d comforted her.
“Do you like it?” she asked quietly.
“I…” he started, looking at the image then back at her. “It’s perfect. Can I keep it?”
A slow smile spread across her face and she nodded.
Abigail missed the entire exchange as she dug into the food, and Josh couldn’t help laughing at her. He ran to his room to put the picture where it wouldn’t be ruined.
He heard Abigail’s voice as he returned.
“I’m telling you,” she said. “They’re so worth the look.”
“Abigail, stop.”
“You’re such a prude. Seriously, they’re better than Grant’s.”
Upon hearing his roommate’s name, Josh decided to join in the conversation.
“What are you ladies talking about?” he asked, piling a plate high with food.
“Your abs.” Abigail took a bite of sesame chicken and gave him a closed-mouth grin.
Josh’s hand stilled as he glanced from Abigail to Taylor, whose cheeks were an adorable shade of pink that he was sure matched his own.
Swallowing her food, Abigail decided to up the awkwardness. “I’m not kidding.” She pointed her fork Taylor’s way. “You should see them. I’d spend the night here more often just for a peek.” Turning to Josh, she said simply, “show her.”
He swallowed hard. “What?”
“Oh, come on,” she said. “They’re just abs. Every guy wants to show them off every chance they get. You’re a hottie, Josh, and I want to see the goods.”
He was sure the blush on his cheeks had reached the tips of his ears.
“He’s shy,” Abigail said to Taylor. “You should have seen how quickly he ran for a shirt when I came into the kitchen.”
Josh opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again in embarrassment.
“Abigail, stop,” Taylor demanded. “Seriously, what is wrong with you? Just ignore her, Josh.”
As if he was there to save his friend, Mack pushed open the front door, his large frame lumbering into the room. Abigail finally stopped talking, and their eyes locked. One side of his mouth quirked up into a smirk.
“Have you been drinking?” Josh asked as his roommate stumbled forward. “Mack, what the hell? We have a game tomorrow night.”
The big man shrugged as Josh fumed. As much as he should be, he wasn’t mad for his team. No, he knew their number one center would still play well. That’s what pissed him off. His friend didn’t care enough because he didn’t have to.
“Look, this is fun and all,” Abigail said. “But, it’s Friday night. I have to go.”
Mack blocked her path. “You could stay.”
“I’m calling an Uber,” she threw back over her shoulder, ignoring the man in front of her. “Colin wanted to hang tonight anyways.” Sidestepping Mack, she practically ran into the hall.
“On that note,” Mack said. “I’m going to crash.” He disappeared down the hall.
Josh could barely look at Taylor as they finished eating. Once done, they lounged on the couch and flipped through channels.
“So,” Taylor started. “Tell me about this brother that’s coming to town.”
“You don’t want to know about him.”
“I do.”
Josh scratched the back of his neck and looked into her expectant eyes. “He’s an ass.” He sighed, studying her to see how much of the truth to tell. All of it. He didn’t talk to anyone about his family, but suddenly found himself wanting her to tell him what to do. “We haven’t talk in two years because he hit his girlfriend.”
“This Michaela you always talk about?”
“Yeah, she’s like my sister. I wanted her to marry Ethan so bad. I wanted her in my family for real. But she deserved better than him. The night Ethan struck her, she left with her father. They were in a car accident; one she almost didn’t survive. After I saw her in that hospital, I could only bring myself to look at my brother long enough to clock him.”
Taylor grabbed his hand. “This is going to be hard for you, isn’t it?”
He nodded, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling. “He’s been calling me, and now he’s coming here with Dad. I don’t know what’s going on. Why now?”
“Were you guys ever close?” she asked, stroking her thumb against the back of his hand.
“When we were younger, we were inseparable. Michaela’s family has been close to ours for forever, so I was always trailing after the two of them.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her free hand playing with his hair. “I can’t imagine ever hating my sister.”
“I don’t hate him,” he said after a moment. “At least, I don’t think I do. I don’t want to hate him. I want him to be my brother again. But after everything… I don’t know if that’s possible.”
“It’s okay to move past it,” she said, smiling at the way she reformed his own words. “It’s okay to miss him.”
“I think I’ve heard that before.” He chuckled.
“Yeah, well, it’s good advice.”
“Will you go with me to see them? I don’t think I can do it alone and there’s no way I’m taking Mack.”
She considered it for a moment before looking him straight in the eye. “Of course I will.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Back at you, buddy.”
He chose to ignore the ‘buddy’ remark and imagine it was just the two of them - no dead boyfriends to grieve, no brother to forgive, no coach/father to please. Just the two of them and all the time in the world.
Chapter Nine
Fall in Ohio could be a beautiful thing. The crisp chill in the air made for perfect sweatshirt weather. A rainbow of orange, green, and red leaves covered the ground as a soft cushion beneath the feet of college students as they talk of the upcoming football game or weekend tail-gaiting. The nice weather didn’t last long, so they had to enjoy while they could before the long, frigid winter took over.
Leaves crunched beneath Taylor as she shifted against the tree. She was sitting on the ground, sketchbook propped on her knees, nose scrunched in concentration. She didn’t hear him walk up, despite the lack of stealth fall noises created.
“Taylor.” She heard it in the back of her mind, but kept drawing.
“Taylor.” Louder this time.
A foot nudged her leg, and she startled out of her trance. Closing her book quickly, she looked up, squinting into the sun.
“Hey, Colin,” she said.
“You good?” he asked.
“Yeah, yeah. Just working on something.”
“Homework?”
“Something like that.” It was a lie. The truth was, Taylor hadn’t been able to bring herself to work on much homework since retrieving her sketchbook. She’d even skipped her classes today in favor of drawing. There was a picture she just couldn’t get right. A picture of Danny. It looked like him, but she couldn’t get it out of her head that something was missing, a feeling.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked, realizing she’d zoned out again.
She nodded, and he took a seat beside her.
“Can I ask you something?” He looked at her and her mind told her this was a bad idea, but she agreed anyway.
“Shoot.”
“Did Abigail cheat on me?”
Those warning bells that had been going off in her head - yeah, she should have listened to them. Taylor had always been a terrible liar. Danny said it was because she had too many tells. Chewing on the end of her hair? Well, she couldn’t do that anymore. Shifting her eyes away was le
ss obvious beneath her glasses. But, tapping her fingers against the side of her leg? Yes, she was doing that.
Colin looked from her fidgeting hand to her face and sighed. “That’s what I thought.”
“But, I didn’t tell you anything,” Taylor argued.
“You didn’t have to.”
“Look, you need to talk to her about this.”
“Like she’ll tell me the truth,” he scoffed, scrambling to his feet and looking down at her. “Don’t try to lie, Taylor. It doesn’t suit you.”
“Because of my damn tells.” She leaned her head back against the tree, remembering what Danny had said to her. At least I know you’re always being honest with me. Then he’d laugh.
“Whatever.” He kicked the ground. “I have to go.”
Taylor watched his retreating form as she stood up and brushed off her pants, the mood officially killed. Sighing, she walked in the direction of the dorm, passing the football stadium, or “The Shoe” as her football obsessed classmates called it.
Saying a quick “hi” to people she passed in the hall of her dorm, she hurried to her room, where Abigail sat hunched over a textbook at her desk.
“You need to talk to Colin.” Taylor tossed her bag onto her bed.
“He’ll live,” Abigail responded, closing her book and rubbing her temples. “I hate accounting.”
“Abigail, seriously, Colin’s a nice guy, and he just came to me asking about you cheating.”
“I didn’t cheat.” She shrugged.
“Yes, you did!”
“Not technically.”
“Oh, don’t give me all this bullshit about lists,” Taylor huffed in exasperation. “You’re never supposed to actually meet the people on your list.”
“Come on, Tay.” She tilted her head to the side, regarding her friend. “Can you honestly say you wouldn’t go for Grant Mackenzie given the opportunity?”
“No, I wouldn’t. Especially if I had a boyfriend.”
“Ah, I forget, you’re more into the nice boys. You know, the kind who never even make a move.”
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