by Avery Rae
"Yeah, well, I was not that long ago. So maybe hold it in."
"That's no fun, now is it?"
A little over a week ago and I probably could have seen myself fitting in here in a naïve sort of way. I liked sex. It was a release for the old Prissy. So, why wouldn't I enjoy an eternity of relaxation and wanton activities, right? I scoffed. Now that I had seen what I could do, I wanted to hunt. I wanted to fight.
But most of all . . .
I wanted to be with Gael.
Not Delilah. Not Lilith.
Instead, I wanted the man who had condemned me to Hell by setting his eyes on me once and never looking away again. And yet, for whatever fucked up reasons were to be found in my broken mind, I had never wanted anyone like him. Never had someone frustrate me as thoroughly yet make me feel everything so deeply.
I couldn't imagine an eternity in this place without him—to never feel the bite of his kiss or his hands in my hair and on my skin, grabbing and clawing with a desperation that matched mine so perfectly.
Delilah curled her slender fingers around my shoulder. I looked at her hand, then back at her with an arched brow. She gave me an indulgent look, then gently steered me toward one of the many wall-length mirrors spread around what I had mentally dubbed Pleasure Palace. I was at least eighty percent certain I had ripped that name from a sex toy shop that I saw once when I was far too young to understand what that meant.
Either way, it was fitting. I understood now what Gael meant about the factions being like oil and water. The priorities of the pleasure demons were obviously vastly different from the Brotherhood, and you could tell based on their strongholds alone. Mostly because Lilith didn't have a fortress. It was a palace. Larger than any you would ever see on Earth, but a palace nonetheless. It was the polar opposite of the Brotherhood's harsh lines, stone, and metal. Everything inside the palace was covered in silks and vibrant gauzy linens that were as soft as sin.
Lilith had her own little slice of paradise in Hell. But you would have to be a fool to think that meant she was vulnerable. In the dark corners and shadows, strange eyes glowed, watchful and cold, guardians of the unguarded. And were they ever—unguarded, that is.
Green-eyed men and women, some more serpentine than others, chased each other through the halls, naked and giggling, or tripping over the layers of silks they piled on. Like they had done to me. As I stood in front of the mirror, I hated what I saw. I wanted to rip off the jewel-toned fabric folded, tucked, and pinned all around me. I wanted to shake out the curls they had put in my hair.
This isn't me.
When I met my orange-red eyes in the mirror—Gael's eyes—a needful ache burned to life in the pit of my stomach. I had never felt so sure of who I was in my life before, and I had managed to screw it all up before I could admit it to myself.
I was Gael's, and he was mine.
It was obvious enough now.
But I ran from him.
"You look delectable," Delilah said as she trailed her fingers from my shoulder to my wrist. "I don't know if Lilith had time to explain to you, but you'll be in need of touch after your ceremony is complete. If you haven't already chosen someone, I would be happy to take you to my bed."
My eyes widened slightly, betraying my surprise. If only Gael had been more forward or I hadn't been so stupid. I wouldn't have ended up in this situation. "I'm not sure that I'll be ready for . . . anything like that tonight."
She giggled softly. "Trust me, you will."
I didn't like the sound of that. Not at all. What had I been thinking when I agreed to this? I bit down on my tongue as I realized I knew the answer. I hadn't been thinking. I'd been acting on pure emotion. Hurt. In true Prissy form, I let my emotions blind and ruin me for no good reason. I lashed out. I ran. That was what I had always done, so why would I stop now?
I had never been more furious at myself. Gael had made the best of a bad situation. He was right, and I knew he was. I would have ended up as yet another soul drowning in Ronove's sea of them. I might not have been a killer like the rest of the Brotherhood, but I was guilty of a whole slew of sins, technically. He had saved me from a worse fate. I knew that now.
But it was far too late.
Lilith strode into the room naked, a vision of pure sexuality. She had full, teardrop-shaped breasts that drew attention to the perfect curve of her hourglass figure. At the juncture of her legs, there were the same iridescent scales that traveled along the sides of her arms and legs. I would expect to be repulsed by scales, but they only made her that much more captivating. The way they glimmered in the light was as hypnotizing as the subtle sway of her body as she moved.
"Are you ready, my sweet?" she asked as she walked around me in a tight circle, her fingers trailing over my collarbone and the tops of my breasts, brushing and savoring my skin in a way that spoke of her desire to devour me—a desire that she wanted me to feel.
My voice was failing me again. I thought Hell had changed me, that I had become someone who didn't wade through a sea of lies, denying my emotions and wants and needs. But here I was, about to do something that everything in my being wanted to rebel against. I didn't want to be a succubus. I didn't want to be sequestered away in the Pleasure Palace, living a life that consisted of eating, drinking, and sex. I could see the appeal for some, but there was only one thing—one person—I wanted and becoming a succubus would rob me of him forever.
Lilith stood behind me and slid her hands beneath the silks wrapped around my body. I shivered as she brushed her fingers over my waist, then onto my stomach, pressing her breasts into my back as she cupped mine in both hands.
"I'm going to love having you," she whispered in my ear. There was no denying that she had her appeal, but it wasn't the same. She could never replace Gael. He understood me on a primal level. He knew how to peel away each layer of my psyche and get to the root of what made me who I was. He could destroy me with a touch, a look, or a word.
"Come with me," Lilith said. "It's time for you to find where you really belong."
She brought me to a dimly lit room that was heavily scented with incense. The scented smoke rolled through the air as we walked. In the center was a bed large enough for twenty people, elevated on a slab of stone. There were only six of us in the room, however. Me, Lilith, and four of her maidens, including Delilah, who was still watching me with that same eager hunger.
Lilith took a small set of stairs up to the bed, then crawled into the middle, beckoning me over. With a sense of finality in my movements, I slowly took the stairs and joined her. She wrapped me in her arms. They were thin and soft, lacking the strength and ferocity I'd come to love in Gael's touch.
Would I ever see him again? Would I ever be able to forget him, or would I spend the rest of eternity comparing everything to him?
Lilith raised a scaled arm, and I knew that none of those questions mattered. I had sealed my fate. She brought her fanged teeth to her wrist and pricked at her skin. Deep red droplets, as ominous as she, welled up, standing out in stark contrast to her pale skin.
She brought that wrist to my lips. I opened them. I expected poison, but her blood carried a subtle sweetness. It was teasing. It made you want to chase after it, to try to taste it fully. Desperate. I felt desperate. I sealed my lips around her wrist and began to pull at her flesh.
A soft laugh, as sweet as her blood, brushed over my skin as she pressed a kiss to my cheek. "That's more than enough, my darling." She pulled her wrist away, and I wanted to beg for more, as pathetic as it made me feel. I didn't care, and that scared me.
She brushed those long fingers over my forehead and smiled down at me, a glint in her eyes. "My maidens will see you through the rest of your journey. But worry not, I'll be back to ease your ache when your body awakens."
The hungry look in her eyes as she swept them over my body told me exactly what she meant. It was flattering, but it didn't make me want her any more. I wanted Gael. His touch was the only one I needed. And I had thrown
it away.
As painful as the memory of only hours ago, a familiar burn started to build inside my bloodstream. Not again. It was like when I woke in Gael's bed as the demon blood healed me, only worse. It wasn't just burning, it felt like poison. Like it was leaching my life away as the seconds ticked by. Panic growing, I thrashed wildly, but the maidens held me down, smiling placidly.
"It'll all be over soon," they soothed in unison. Even through all the pain, it sent a shiver down my spine. I arched my back and cried out as her poisonous blood coursed through me. I didn't want this. I didn't. Why would I do something so stupid? Why?
Through my wide-eyed gaze, I saw one of the maidens look toward the door in shock. Gael? In the next moment, my arms were free and they were all shrieking. They scrambled off the bed and ran from the room.
I forced my head to the side and saw a picture of fury staring back at me. Berith.
"You stupid girl," she shrieked. "You should have just joined the Brotherhood."
"Why do you care?" My question faded into a gasp as I clutched the sheets. A ripple of pain sent my body into convulsions.
"I don't, but I know the evils of Lilith. She's petty, cruel, and greedy."
"Seems like most people in Hell," I hissed between my teeth.
"You know by now that it's not that black and white, so don't pretend otherwise. Have you thought to ask Samael why he serves in Hell and not Heaven?"
I hadn't. I had assumed he was some sort of fallen angel and made my peace with it.
"Hell is a place for the unwanted. Heaven is even more cruel than Hell. They do not account for circumstance. If you have sinned, you are unclean. Hell welcomes the unclean with open arms. We take the tortured, terrible souls, too. Ronove keeps them locked away while the rest of us live.
"Lilith would see that destroyed. She craves control and will destroy anything to get it. Do you want to know where I got these scars?" She pointed at her jagged flesh. "The first time I crossed Lilith. She made a point to scar me so thoroughly that I couldn't heal them away. She wanted me to be reminded every time I saw myself."
The doors the maidens had fled through burst open and Lilith strode inside, fangs bared. "Berith," she hissed, "you are not welcome here."
"I didn't ask for an invitation."
"Let me see you out then."
A horrible screech filled the air as Lilith's body twisted and cracked. Gone was the beautiful woman, replaced by a towering, fanged black serpent. Large green eyes focused on me, then the serpent darted forward, but not before Berith leapt into the air and drove her sword through its middle, pinning it in place.
"Go!" Berith cried out with a snarl. "Take the sword I left on the bed."
And so, for the first time in my life that it actually made sense, I hauled my aching body out of the bed, grabbed the small sword Berith had left me, and I ran. I didn't make it far before the pain was too much. I fell against a wall and clawed at it as Lilith's venomous blood burned through me. I could feel myself changing. It was slow and torturous. My jaw ached from my teeth shifting, making room for the fangs of a succubus. I didn't want this. I didn't. But I was powerless to stop it.
"Prissy?"
It took everything in me to drag my head up and look up.
Gael.
He stood at the entrance to the hallway, breathing heavily, as if he had run across Hell just to come to me. His clothes were in tatters, blood smearing his face and hands. I smiled, more out of humor than happiness. My mind was playing tricks on me. He couldn't be here. That was too good to be true.
"I wish you were here," I whispered, my voice hoarse. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I ran—" I doubled over with a ragged gasp as pain shot through my stomach. Footsteps echoed around me. Panting breath. Arms wrapped around me, holding me close. It all sounded and felt so real. I looked up in wonder. From this close, I could see the hurt, pain, and fury that burned in Gael's eyes. It was him. It was really him. He came for me.
"Did Lilith already give you her blood?" Gael asked.
I tried to nod, but it was too hard. "Yes," I said as I let out a strained breath. If Gael's blood had burned, Lilith's was like a nuclear explosion inside me. It was as if Lilith herself was inside me, clawing and tearing me apart with glee.
Gael tucked a hand underneath my chin, his touch so tender that it terrified me. If he was being that gentle, I must have looked even worse than I felt. Had my features already started to shift, taking on the sharp, unnatural beauty of a succubus? Did I have the eyes of a snake, glowing green like Lilith's?
Another shock of pain seared through me and I collapsed against Gael, my cheek pressed to his hard chest. Without a word, he gathered me into his arms and started to run. I didn't know where we were going or what he was doing and I didn't care. Just being close to him was enough.
The pain began to ease. I didn't know how long he had been running, but long enough to have gone outside and inside once more. I grew more and more aware of the hard lines of his body. I ached for him in ways that I had never felt before. It wasn't the same desire that he brought to life inside me, it was more like a compulsion—like I was starving. A desperate, burning, painful ache that only his touch could soothe.
"Gael," I moaned, writhing in his arms. "I need— I need—"
"You can't. Not right now. I know it hurts, but you just have to wait."
He quietly set me down on a bed, and everything inside me cried out in need. I couldn't see anything but him. I immediately started crawling toward him. My hunger needed to be sated, and I would do anything for it. He could have put me in quicksand and I would've clawed my way to the surface to get to him.
Confusion tore through me as a door opened and Samael walked in. I didn't want him. I wanted Gael. I would take both if I had to, I realized. It didn't matter. I started toward him again. I nearly purred when he pulled me into his arms and pinned me back against his chest. Yes. This was what I needed.
"I don't think she has long."
"She should be okay until she feeds. But there's no sense in risking it." Samael produced a knife. I tilted my head to the side, more intrigued than confused. Why wasn't I more alarmed? I was being held against my will and Samael had a knife. Yet I didn't really care. I just wanted someone to screw me and I would take whatever I could get. A distant part of my mind told me I really, really should care, but I couldn't.
Samael took the knife to his skin and cut along his arm as he approached us. I rolled my hips against Gael in anticipation. Of what, I didn't know. I just needed to be touched. Samael did just that—he slid a hand behind my neck and tilted my head back. Confusion peppered my thoughts as he brought his bloodied wrist to my mouth. I knew that it was important to open my lips, yet I couldn't.
"Drink," he whispered. "Drink or Lilith will never let you go."
Part of me was revolting against it for reasons I couldn't quite explain. Lilith had been there for me. She welcomed me with open arms. Maybe Berith was manipulating me. All of those thoughts spun endlessly through my mind, tormenting me with a paranoia that I had never felt before. Since when did I have such loyalty to Lilith?
I snapped my eyes up to look at Gael as he stared down at me. Samael's blood welled against my lips and dripped down my chin.
"Drink, Prissy. Please. I was willing to give up everything for you, don't you realize that? Everything." He lowered his voice to a strained whisper. "I can't lose you. It'll destroy me."
The tone of his voice, his words, and the worry that creased his face tore through me worse than the pain of Lilith's venom. Even though it hurt, I forced my lips open. Blood spilled between them, wetting my dry tongue and throat as I forced it down. My body seized the moment his blood dripped into my stomach. Lilith's blood was at war in an instant. As the urge to tear my mouth away from Samael's arm grew stronger, I sank my teeth into his skin, anchoring myself there.
I could feel the strength of Samael's blood as it battled with Lilith's for control of me. My body shifted and cracked. Gae
l had to hold me tight as I thrashed. Samael soon yanked his wrist from my mouth, but his eyes remained on me. I didn't get to see him for long. Convulsions wracked my body, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. I sank into darkness soon after.
22
Priscilla
I had no idea how much time had passed when I next woke. Gael was lying across my stomach. I gently touched a hand to his shoulder and he jolted awake. "Prissy?"
"Gael?" I whispered, brow furrowed by confusion. "Where's Samael? What happened?"
He pulled me into his arms and hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe, but I didn't care. I hugged him back just as hard. I felt different. My head was clear even though I still felt that need for pleasure. It was muted, but it was there. Why? Shouldn't it be gone? I stiffened in confusion as Gael pulled back. His jaw clenched, then he looked down for a moment.
"What's wrong?" My heart picked up speed. "Did it not work?"
"Prissy." He looked back up, then took my cheeks into his hands. "I'm sorry, but it wasn't enough. Lilith's blood is too powerful, even more so than Samael's. You're not—"
I tore myself away from him and ran to his dresser. Shock tore through me as I looked at my reflection. My eyes told me all that I needed to know. My pupils were snake-like slits. One eye glowed the Brotherhood's fiery orange, the other green. Lilith's green. I opened my mouth to see my teeth were normal—mostly. My canines had extended, giving me a slightly vampiric appearance.
"What am I?" I asked, torn between horror and fascination.
"I'm sorry, Prissy." The guilt in Gael's expression was unreal.
I knelt down in front of him, my hands on his knees. "Hey, why're you so upset? I'm alive, aren't I?"
"I'm the one who dragged you into this and I fucked it all up even worse. I should've been more honest with you, but I just—"
"We're screwed up people. We screw things up."
"That's really deep," he replied dryly.