I return to Pooja and me. I touch the swirl of color over Pooja’s head and follow it back to Rocco’s red bandanna as I run down the hallway.
Happiness fills me as I start over and look again, studying the colors and the faces of my friends, discovering the background that mimics the grounds of campus. We all float on the grassy hills of NJU, the distant New York skyline silhouetted against a blue sky. I turn my back to the portrait wall and look at the side with our room doors. The walls between the doors continue the campus theme and I recognize most of the buildings. Words spread over the doorways from my door, all the way to Chase’s door. They’re Pooja’s words: UNITY, HONESTY, LOVE.
I cry as Chase steps behind me and puts his arms around me. “Do you like it?” he whispers near my ear.
“I love it. I don’t even have words. It’s incredible. You’re amazing.”
“Merry Christmas, gorgeous.”
I spin in his arms to face him. “Thank you,” I say and kiss him gently on the lips.
“Forgive me?” he asks in a shaky voice. He kisses my cheek and nuzzles into my neck. “Please,” he begs, holding me close like he’s afraid I’ll walk away.
I nod against his neck.
“Thank you,” he whispers.
“You don’t have to thank me. I love you,” I say.
“I love you, too.” I pull away to find his eyes, and he points up. “There’s one more.”
In a rush of emotion, I didn’t realize Chase had painted Frank on the ceiling, looking down on all of us like he’s an angel. Instead of the bold colors he’d used for the rest of us, Frank is painted against the white ceiling in beiges, golds, and silvers, so lightly he’s almost not there.
I think Chase gets frightened when I gasp through my tears because he starts to babble. “Frank was tough. I had to use a plank of plywood laid across ladders. I wasn’t sure, I mean, I didn’t know if I should.” I hear the nervousness in his voice. “Tina helped me a lot. With Frank, and with the backgrounds and stuff.”
He’s waiting for my approval, but I can’t speak yet. I walk down the hallway with my face to the ceiling, studying Frank as his presence surrounds us. I lay on the drop cloths on the floor and stare up at him. Chase joins me.
“He’s perfect,” I whisper. “Here, but not here. I can’t believe you did this.” We look at the ceiling in silence for a few moments. I still find it hard to believe he’s gone. I know it, but I can’t feel it yet. “I miss him.”
“Me, too,” Chase murmurs to the ceiling.
Some time later, he pulls me up and leads me to my room. I stare at the door, remembering what had happened inside on that awful day. I remember Pooja telling me how hard it would be to come back, but I’d thought I was tough enough. I thought I’d be able to do it. I continue to stare at the closed door. Between the doorframe and the ceiling, Chase painted a white dove.
“For Justine,” he says, watching me.
I snap my head to look at Chase. “Justine?”
He nods, and I throw my arms around him. He strokes my hair as I cry. “It’s going to be all right, baby. I promise,” he whispers. “I want to be here with you. You’ve been so strong, for me—for everyone. You’ve been pulling me out of my hole since the day I met you but, I know now, I can do it myself. Let’s do this. Let’s get out of our holes on our own, but together.”
I nod and wipe the tears from my eyes and focus on Chase. We have a lot of work to do on ourselves and on our relationship, but whatever the road ahead has in store for us, I know we are a formidable team. If we support each together, we can beat anything.
“I can’t believe you did all this for me.”
“I’ll do anything for you. I’m not scared anymore. I don’t want you to be scared either.”
Nose-to-nose, Chase and I stand at the door to room one. Despite everything, we’re here now—together. “I’m not scared when I’m with you.” I kiss his nose, then his lips.
Chase
When Juliet kisses me, I feel her love, I see her colors, and everything’s right, even though we’re about to walk into the room where everything went wrong.
I hold her hands and nod toward the door. “Are you ready to go in?”
She nods, but her eyes flicker with hesitation.
“Are you sure?” I don’t want to push her. She’s been fighting to get back in, but if she’s not ready, I’ll respect that. I may never know what happened that day, but I want her to know that I’m here for her as we move onward.
“I want to try. Being here, with you, with this,” she gestures down the hallway, “It’s creating new memories. Our future, Chase. I think I can do this if you do it with me.”
“Do you promise you’ll let me know if you want to leave?”
She nods again. “I’m going to focus on you.”
“Okay.” I step out of the way. Juliet takes a deep breath. She puts one hand on the doorknob, the other in mine, and opens the door. I follow her in.
“Oh, Chase!” Juliet says. “You did this?”
I exhale and smile when she turns to me. I’m glad her first impression of the room is one I created, not a horrible memory.
“Rob helped.” Earlier, Rob and I had set up the room for her. It had been cleaned and repainted, but we brought sheets and plants and, most importantly, a Christmas tree. Rob helped me string it with white lights.
“Can we keep the tree forever?” she asks, examining its branches.
She’s still holding the tree when she looks around the room. I see her colors change and watch her eyes darken. I follow her gaze to the smoke alarm, which hangs by a wire from the ceiling, not yet connected. I don’t want to lose her to the bad memories, so I start talking. “Remember the first time I saw you at the train station? You know, I had a nickname for you before you came down to room six and introduced yourself.”
“What was it?”
“The Yoga Hottie.”
Juliet returns her attention to me. “Yoga? I’ve never done yoga.”
“I had just sworn off women. I walked through the train station and there you were with your upside down map, the lost starlet. I thought to myself, screw celibacy, because you had on these super tight yoga pants and…” I bite my lip and groan. “Damn, you were hot. You were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.” She smiles, and I look her over. “You still are. I get goose bumps whenever you walk into a room.” When she looks me in the eye, I know she’s here with me, away from the bad memories.
“Then I came down to room six looking for Ben.”
“When you said, I’m Juliet from room one, and did your sexy smirk, I knew I was a goner. Completely smitten and in love, even though you were obsessed with my roommate.” Juliet’s laugh fills the room with pink. I’ve never been happier to see her colors.
“If it makes you feel better, I thought you were amazingly hot the first time I saw you, too. I couldn’t see the color of your eyes at the train station, but you know what almost made me pass out? Your lips.”
“My lips? Huh.”
“You have really nice lips, Sexy Train Man.”
The way she says those eight words makes my body tense. “Want to kiss them?”
“All the time.”
She reaches for me and kisses me next to the Christmas tree in her new, old dorm room, and the whole world is in my arms.
“You know,” I sing, stretching out the words, “I’m going to be practically living with you here in room one.”
Her eyes pop but she grins. “I don’t remember having that conversation.”
“You don’t expect me to be down the hall with Ben when I can be here with you, do you? Ben snores. And he’s the worst snuggler.”
Juliet taps her lips with her finger and squints. “But—”
I wiggle a finger at her. “No, no. No buts. Pooja’s going to be in room four.”
She raises her eyebrows and crosses her arms, her smile staying pink. I love getting a reaction from her. “Technically, we’re broken up.
”
“Well…we never really broke up.”
She nods. “Oh yes we did. Come to think of it, we’ve never even been on a date. I think it will be a long time before we move in together.” She juts a hip and waits, not realizing her way-into-the-future projection of us moving in together makes me insanely happy.
I play with her. “Did you want to be engaged first? Cause I’ll marry you. Tonight if you want.” Even though I’m playing, I know I would totally marry her.
She doesn’t bite. “That’s the worst proposal in the history of the world. And no, you freak, I won’t marry you.”
“So you’re just going to use me for my body? Have your cake and eat it too?” I want her to tell me she’ll marry me, sad as that is.
She doesn’t cave. “Yep. At least spring for dinner and a movie first.”
“But you will marry me someday, gorgeous?” I gulp. Why the hell am I nervous?
Juliet sighs, her brown eyes dancing. “Someday, maybe, I’ll marry you, Chase Cooper. But I want a real proposal. This doesn’t count.”
Someday, she said. Someday she’ll maybe marry me. “Counts to me. I’m holding you to it.”
I smile like an idiot.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Juliet
I spend the rest of winter break in New York with Chase and Rob. While Rob is busy with the gallery, I help Chase set up Gloria’s room.
When we show the room to Rob, he doesn’t understand. “Amazing. You guys did a great job. Is Juliet moving in?”
“It’s for you.” Chase fidgets, rubbing his hands through his hair.
“Me?”
“I was h-hoping you’d stay.” I barely catch the stutter in his voice. Rob stares at Chase, and Chase starts to blabber, “I mean, if you want. I’m kind of used to having you around. Obviously, I can’t take care of myself. I need a responsible grown-up, an old guy.”
Rob scoffs. “Old?”
“I’ll be back at Sheridan most of the time, and you’re here running the gallery, and I don’t know. I know you have a life of some sort in Cali, but I’d kind of like it if you’d stick around.”
Rob doesn’t answer. Instead, he embraces Chase. “I’d love to stay. Thank you, for the room and the invitation.”
Rob loved Chase’s mother, and now he loves Chase. It’s not exactly the Rileys, but it’s a family and it includes me.
Chase starts to fidget again and needs saving, so I ask Rob, “Do you like it? Chase picked the color.”
“Juliet did most of the work,” Chase adds.
“I love it. I love both of you.” Rob waves me over and the three of us group hug.
Chase pulls away first, ending our love fest. “Okay, that’s enough.” He kisses me on the nose, and I know he’s happy.
***
On New Year’s Eve, Chase and I dress up for a pre-dorm opening party hosted by room two in Sheridan Hall. Turns out, Rodrigo is President Hernandez’s nephew. He convinced his uncle that the basement crew needed a bonding night before the hoopla of the re-opening and the press we’re sure will come along with it. Chase admits Rod was also responsible for his access to paint the mural.
As the clock ticks toward midnight and Chase drives us to campus, he taps the steering wheel and asks me a million times if I think anyone will be upset by the mural. Later, when the others trickle in for the party, they marvel at his work, finding new details with each look. Eventually, he calms down.
Maggie gazes up at the painting of Frank. “I had no idea you were so talented, Chase.”
“This is incredible!” Poppy chuckles at Chase’s portrayal of her and Darcy.
“Oh, Chase,” Megan gasps as she paces the hallway. “It’s amazing.”
Chase was most worried about Rocco, but Rocco doesn’t react either way. He’s silent as he views the hallway. “I’m sorry,” he tells Chase. “I love it, I do. It’s just hard.”
Chase nods, and I reach for Rocco’s hand. It’s the most he’s said about that day.
When Ben shows up, I practically tackle him. I miss him, even though the ties that bind us have changed and expanded a bit. Chase doesn’t seem to mind that I still have feelings— strong, platonic feelings—for Ben. “You could love us both,” Chase had said, “as long as I’m the one you’re in love with.”
“You are,” I assure him. “We’re going to get married someday. Remember?” I take a mental snapshot of the goofy grin my words put on his face.
Eventually, the party moves to the lounge, but Pooja, Rocco, Ben, and I end up in room one. Ben puts his arm around me, while Pooja and Rocco hold each other.
“How do we do this?” Pooja asks. “Can we do this?”
I look to Ben. “We need to make new memories.” When I find myself thinking about the night of the shooting, I quickly turn my thoughts to Christmas night with Chase and the story he told me about the day we met. I start to giggle awkwardly, thinking of my upside down map and Chase pointing me to Broadway.
I remember Frank and his silly jokes; how he used to tickle me; when he complained I spent too long with the hair dryer. “For Christ’s sake, Juliet, you’re going to fry your brain like that. It’s six a.m. Go back to sleep!” I hear his voice like he’s still here.
Then it hits me. “You know what Frank would do?”
They look at me confused. “You have that crazy look in your eye.” Ben holds up his hands and backs away.
I smile and jump into the middle of the room and start to sing with my god-awful voice. “I throw my hands up in the air sometimes.” Taio Cruz. Frank’s theme song.
“You’re out of your mind, Anderson.” Rocco rolls his eyes, but he grins.
I keep singing. “Saying a-yo, gotta let go!” My voice cracks, but I don’t care.
Chase peeks in. “Is that your terrible voice, Juliet?” I wave him in and he drapes an arm around me.
Pooja surprises me when she takes the next line. I high-five her.
Pooja and I sing at the top of our lungs, and everyone trickles into room one.
“Oh my God,” Winston whines. “Frank used to drive me nuts with that song!”
“I’ve banned all Taio Cruz from my life after hearing it three hundred times a day,” Maggie adds.
Darcy squeezes in next. “No, not ‘Dynamite.’ Please no. I slammed a hole in my wall trying to get Frank to shut it off. Couldn’t he at least obsess about a song from this decade?”
But it’s the perfect song. It’s Frank’s song about life and dancing and fun—all the things he loved.
Rodrigo disappears, and soon I hear the song blaring from room two’s sound system. The walls pound as the eleven of us cram ourselves into room one, dancing and singing at the top of our lungs to Frank’s song. Remembering Frank, we laugh at each other, smiling and filling the room with unity, happiness, and love.
I put my arms around Chase. We smile. This is our new normal. We kiss at midnight, sober and aware as we welcome the New Year, anticipating our future, and surrounded by our friends. I know Chase feels it, too—our connection.
He pushes my hair back over my shoulders. “You laugh in pink.” Since we’ve been back together, Chase has become more vocal about my colors, but he’s never been specific.
“Pink? I love pink.”
He holds me tightly, pulling me closer as the room explodes in celebration. “It’s become my favorite color. I want to see you laugh in pink forever.”
I sigh. “Let’s just start with the New Year, okay?”
Chase smiles and kisses me again. I love you, I hear him say without words.
My world starts over again. Justine, Ben—they’ll always be there when I need them. But Chase, in my arms, is my always. I speak to him without words. I love you, too
Acknowledgements
First, thank you for reading She Laughs in Pink. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
This book would not have life without the wonderful team at BookFish Books, especially editor/author ext
raordinare, Heather Powell-Van Fleet. The BookFish team believed in “SLIP” from day one and helped turn it from a manuscript with potential to a sparkling novel. Thank you for your time, effort, and unwavering support. You’ve become more than editors and publishers to me—you’ve become friends. I’m so happy the Sheridan Hall Series is in your capable hands.
This book is dedicated to my friend Angela DiOrio. Thank you, Angela, for being you. <3
To amazing author Trisha Madley, the first person to read SLIP and call Chase her “book boyfriend.” Your kind words encouraged me to share Chase and Juliet with the world. I cherish your guidance as an author and a friend.
Thank you to Natalie Warneke, of Warneke Reading, who helped whip SLIP into shape. It was with your words of encouragement, editorial expertise, and advice that I started the query process and made my way here. You’re awesome!
As always, I’d be totally insane without my friend Nicole LaRusso, who gets me through the day with her unconditional love and sarcastic wit. Thank you for reading my first drafts, for being honest, and for your unwavering support. Taio Cruz references are for the enjoyment of Lauren Kostinas Birkhold. She’s a fan of Taio, and I’m a fan of hers.
Finally, my sincere love and thanks to my husband, Joe, and our boys. I appreciate that you support my love of writing and look forward to authoring many more books with you by my side.
About the Author
Jessica Calla is a lawyer by day, romance writer by night. Her favorite time is the kids’ bedtime, when she’s free to open the laptop, battle with the blinking cursor, and pour out the contents of her heart.
Jessica is a member of Romance Writers of America, involved in the Contemporary, Young Adult, and New Jersey Chapters, and is a member of the Women’s Fiction Writers Association. She recently became the oldest marketing intern ever at BookFish Books, and was named a Team Member for the inaugural FicFest writing contest. She also mentors unpublished writers as part of the Young Adult Romance Writers’ mentoring program.
She Laughs in Pink (Sheridan Hall #1) Page 29