‘Occasionally,’ she answered truthfully.
‘And do you still—feel anything, for him?’ Nick rasped.
‘Only contempt,’ she scorned.
‘Then none of this changes anything between us?’
It changed everything, if he did but know it. Instead of refusing to go out with him she now intended accepting his invitations. When, and if, he made any more. And she felt sure he would. ‘I didn’t realise there was anything to change,’ she mocked.
‘You know that I want you!’
‘Yes.’
‘Then I don’t want any more games between us,’ he pulled her into his arms with savage determination. ‘Will you have dinner with me tonight?’
He was so sure of himself now, so confident of her answer, that she would have loved to slap him down one more time. But her revenge was in earnest now, and she had every intention of beginning his hell as soon as possible. ‘Of course,’ she accepted softly. ‘And what do you suggest I do with the portrait of Miss McDonald?’
‘Throw it away,’ he rasped. ‘She certainly won’t be needing it now!’
She would find much pleasure in disposing of the portrait of the woman who had deliberately set out to destroy her, but professional pride dictated she couldn’t do that. ‘It’s almost completed, I’ll send it to her.’
‘Forget about Audra,’ he ordered curtly. ‘She’s no longer important in either of our lives.’
No, the other woman had used all her leverage now, and Danielle could dismiss her as easily as Nick did. ‘I’ll have to change if we’re going out to dinner,’ she told him huskily, conscious by the rigid hardness of his body pressed against hers that he might have a change of plan in mind.
‘I have to shower and change too.’ He gave a rueful smile. ‘I came here straight from the office when I couldn’t stand the hell of imagining you the mother of another man’s child any longer.’
Danielle stiffened. ‘The fact that my child died doesn’t alter the fact that I was her mother. I loved my daughter very much,’ she rasped coldly. ‘I wanted her to live more than anything else in the world.’
Nick looked as if she had physically struck him. ‘You wanted the child of a man you despise?’
‘She wasn’t responsible for the man he was, I wanted her alive and well!’
He pushed her away from him as if he daren’t touch her any more. ‘I’ll be back in two hours and we’ll go out to dinner.’ His movements were as coordinated as usual as he walked to the door. ‘Be ready to go when I get back.’
‘Nick,’ the quiet control of her voice stopped him leaving. ‘I won’t be treated as you did Audra McDonald,’ she told him with challenge. ‘I’ll go out to dinner with you tonight, but I won’t be ordered about like one of your minions. I’ll also try and be ready by the time you get back, but I’m not guaranteeing it, do I make myself clear?’
Anger gleamed in his eyes at her stubbornness. ‘Only too well,’ he bit out. ‘I’ll see you later.’
Danielle waited until he had left before relaxing the rigid control she had held over her emotions. That the subject of her child was one Nick didn’t want to talk about was obvious; he preferred to just dismiss it from his mind, to even pretend it had never happened.
She had wished that too for a time after she realised she was pregnant, but as she sensed the life growing inside her, imagined the tiny baby she had created with her love, she had begun to want it, desperately. Her parents had been very supportive after they got over their initial shock, even more so in the weeks following the baby’s death, convincing her that her life had to go on, encouraging her career as a portrait painter.
But if Nick thought her illegitimate child changed her moral beliefs he was going to be in a for a shock. She had made love with him once, and since that night there had been no one. And there would be no one else after him this time either.
She was expecting Lewis when he arrived half an hour later, had known from his call that afternoon that he would be coming round, which was why she wasn’t sure if she could be ready on time for Nick. Lewis may only stay a short time, but he may stay longer.
He looked a trifle harassed as she let him in. ‘I came round as soon as I could, but I seem to have been caught up in meetings all day. Are you all right?’ he gave her a worried look.
‘Fine,’ she looked puzzled.
‘I think you should sue the damned papers,’ he muttered angrily. ‘They shouldn’t be allowed to get away with printing such lies. That rubbish they printed yesterday about you and Andracas was bad enough, but I think they went too far today.’
‘Lewis—’
‘I hope you’ve been in touch with a good lawyer,’ he was very indignant on her behalf. ‘They shouldn’t be allowed to get away with printing slander like that.’
‘Lewis, sit down,’ she encouraged gently, not quite knowing how to tell him that none of what they had printed had been slanderous.
He made no effort to sit. ‘If I’d realised my persuading you to take this commission when you would rather not have done would lead to such hurtful lies being printed about you I would have turned the damned thing down myself. The newspapers take a perfectly innocent incident and turn it into whatever they want to. It can’t go on.’
‘Lewis, it’s the truth,’ she said quietly.
‘I don’t think I’ve ever—What did you say?’
he asked in stunned surprise.
‘Everything the newspapers said was the truth,’ she repeated gently.
He seemed to swallow hard. ‘Everything?’ he echoed disbelievingly.
She knew she should be flattered by his surprise, but she just felt awful for disillusioning him. ‘Yes,’ she nodded. ‘Would you like to sit down now?’
‘I think I’d better,’ he said dazedly, almost falling down into one of the armchairs. ‘But I—I’ve never seen a child here, never heard you talk about one,’ he said dully, looking as if she had shattered every illusion he had ever had about her.
Danielle explained the situation to him as briefly as she could, felt she had given too many people too many explanations just lately, and about things she considered very private indeed.
‘But it isn’t true that you’ve been out with Andracas, is it?’ he dismissed with scorn.
‘I’m afraid it is.’
Lewis frowned. ‘And Audra McDonald?’
She shrugged. ‘As far as I know she’s no longer his mistress.’
‘As far as—! But they’ve been together over a
year!’
‘Then it was probably time for a change,’ she said calmly. ‘For both of them.’
‘Are you sure you aren’t the one who will be left out in the cold? He’s done this sort of thing before, you know, and he always goes back to Miss McDonald.’
‘Not this time,’ she told him confidently.
‘But—’
‘Lewis,’ she cut in firmly. ‘I understand the reason for your concern, and I’m grateful for it, but doesn’t what I’ve just told you about my past convince you that I can take care of myself?’
He flushed uncomfortably at the gentle rebuke. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said abruptly. ‘If course it’s none of my business who you go out with,’ he stood up. ‘I had no right to try and interfere. But God, how I wish I’d never brought you this commission!’
She gave a rueful smile. ‘Sometimes people are destined to meet no matter what the circumstances.’
He shook his head. ‘I’ve never believed in fate.’
Danielle did, had known as soon as Lewis told her about the Audra McDonald portrait that it would one day come to this. It was all meant to happen, it had to happen!
Nick’s manner had changed back again when they went out that evening, the cajoling charm and easy manner replaced by the haughty arrogance she had come to expect from him, treating her politely if not warmly. For her part Danielle treated him as she usually did, with a mixture of coolness and disdain.
The reporter
s were noticeably absent from trailing after them tonight, and Danielle had a feeling that was because Audra knew she had lost, that she had nothing to gain and so much more to lose. Nick could be even more ruthless than he had been, they all knew that.
She knew by the direction they were taking once they left the restaurant that he wasn’t taking her home or to her apartment. For a few brief seconds she had a mad impulse to see if his apartment near the park was still the same, to see if he still had black silk sheets on the huge double bed.
But common sense took over and she dismissed the idea. ‘I’d rather go home,’ she told Nick coolly.
‘I thought we could have a drink first—’
‘We can, at my apartment,’ she turned to look at him with unflinching eyes.
He frowned his displeasure. ‘I don’t intend to seduce you, Danielle.’
‘I’ve already explained to you,’ she said flatly. ‘That I won’t be treated like one of your mistresses.’
‘It’s only my apartment—’
‘Where you usually entertain your “women friends”,’ she reminded with scorn.
‘Oh all right,’ he muttered, swinging the car back in the direction of her home. ‘Although I can’t see what the big deal is in going to my apartment.’
Danielle didn’t even bother to answer him. They both knew he had intended them to do more than have a drink at his apartment, and she was determined that she wasn’t going to succumb that easily. The longer she made him wait for her the more confused he was going to be when she eventually gave in.
She turned to him as he stopped the car outside her home. ‘Perhaps you shouldn’t come in after all,’ she said in a reasoning tone. ‘I’m a little tired tonight.’
‘Danielle—’
‘Thank you for dinner,’ she leant forward and kissed him briefly on the mouth, pulling away as he would have deepened the caress. ‘Perhaps we can do it again some time.’
‘Danielle!’ he groaned huskily, pulling her back into his arms. ‘I can’t let you go like this.’
She felt no sense of triumph that she had won this round, knew that she had a long way to go yet to reduce him to the humble lover she wanted him to be. ‘I thought that was what you wanted,’ she remained aloof in his arms. ‘You’ve been very angry all evening.’
‘Give me time,’ he said raggedly. ‘I’ll get over it.’
She looked up at him with angry eyes. ‘I’m not asking for your forgiveness, Nick. God, you wouldn’t expect me to react this way if you had left a trail of illegitimate children all over the place!’
His expression became harsher than ever. ‘The situation would never arise!’
‘Well how clever of you,’ she derided hardly. ‘Unfortunately, we aren’t all that lucky. I really think it would be better if we didn’t see each other again.’ She took a gamble on how deeply he wanted to possess her. ‘I’m not about to keep justifying, or explaining myself, to you or anyone else.’
He buried his face in her throat. ‘I’m not asking you to,’ he said gruffly. ‘And I apologise if you think I’ve been abrupt this evening—’
‘Abrupt?’ she scorned the description of his behaviour. ‘You’ve been unbearable!’
He nodded. ‘I know. And I’m sorry.’ The dark grey eyes searched her face. ‘God, you’re beautiful,’ he groaned raggedly. ‘So beautiful. …’
She suffered his kiss rather than responded to it, the weakness that had engulfed her last night no longer there today, her anger at the way he was trying to ‘forgive’ her for her lapse in the past making it unnecessary to even try and resist him; she was cold in his arms.
Nick pulled away as he sensed her lack of response. ‘Can I see you tomorrow?’
‘Not tomorrow,’ she refused.
‘Why not?’ he grated, obviously not pleased by her answer.
‘I do have other friends I like to see besides you,’ she told him coolly.
Glittering anger darkened his eyes. ‘Who?’
‘Really, Nick—’
‘Who are you seeing tomorrow night?’ his hands bit painfully into her arms.
Danielle looked at him unflinchingly, although from the pain he was inflicting she would probably have bruises there tomorrow. ‘I’m visiting an old schoolfriend,’ she said evenly.
‘Female?’
‘Of course,’ she mocked.
He thrust her away from him as if she burnt him. ‘Is that the truth?’
‘Why should I lie?’
He heaved a ragged sigh. ‘Because for some reason you seem to enjoy watching me squirm!’
Danielle pulled a face. ‘The fact that I’m visiting a friend shouldn’t do that to you.’
‘It wouldn’t,’ he rasped. ‘If I could be sure you were telling the truth.’
‘Nick,’ she spoke to him in a patient voice. ‘As far as I know we don’t have any chains on each other. We’ve been out together, officially, only once, and that certainly doesn’t make a commitment to each other not to see other people if we want to.’
His eyes were narrowed to steely slits. ‘You’re telling me that if I chose to see Audra tomorrow that you wouldn’t give a damn, is that it?’
She shrugged. ‘I’d abhor your choice of companion, but I’d have no right to object.’
His face contorted with anger. ‘I’m giving you that right,’ he bit out harshly.
She shook her head. ‘I don’t want it.’
‘I’m not giving it to you lightly,’ he rasped. ‘I just don’t seem to have any choice about it. I haven’t made love to any other woman since we met.’
For the second time, Danielle added mentally. He had had plenty of other women in his life in the preceding seven years. ‘I thought you said my uninterest in you would make Miss McDonald suspicious and that she would be more attentive,’ she mocked.
‘It did,’ he nodded grimly. ‘I wasn’t interested.’
No wonder the other woman had been so convinced, even without Danielle’s encouragement of Nick, that she was losing him! ‘It’s a pity you didn’t feel this same single-minded attraction during your marriage—for your wife,’ she scorned.
Nick seemed to stiffen. ‘What do you know about my marriage?’ he asked tautly.
‘Only that it didn’t last—because of your adultery.’
‘Whatever you’ve been told to the contrary I was never unfaithful to my wife.’
‘But the newspapers—’
‘Are not always given the true facts, hence they can’t print them,’ he grated.
‘But why would you lie—’
‘That is my business, Danielle,’ he cut in icily. ‘As you insist the birth of your child is yours.’
Danielle was puzzled by his disclosure about his marriage, she couldn’t pretend that she wasn’t. Although it made no difference to the way he had treated her, or to the fact that he hadn’t given her welfare after that night a second thought. ‘I’d better go in now—’
‘Thursday night?’ he halted her exit with his hand on her arm.
She pretended to give the idea some thought. ‘Very well,’ she finally nodded.
It was a very dangerous game she was playing, a man like Nick might crack at any moment and take what wasn’t being freely given. But while she continued to treat him with that cool condescension she didn’t think he would do anything like that, would be too afraid of alienating her for good. And that was something she knew he didn’t want.
* * *
Rhea had changed little since they were at finishing school together, still a red-haired beauty with plenty of charm, although married life to her television producer husband had given her an added glow of happiness.
‘Excuse the mess,’ Rhea stepped over the toys that littered most of the lounge floor. ‘I’ve managed to get the little horror off to sleep for the night, now I have to put the house back together,’ she grimaced as she knelt to put the toys away in a box. ‘I never knew a two-year-old boy could have so much energy!’
D
anielle smiled at her friend, helping to pick up the toys. ‘Like mother like son …’ she teased.
‘You sound like Graham,’ Rhea laughed. ‘He says he doesn’t stand a chance of peace and quiet with the two of us about.’
Danielle knew that Graham doted on his wife and son, that he hated the evenings like this when he had to work late as much as Rhea did. Which was why Danielle had offered to keep her friend company.
It didn’t take them long to tidy up the lounge, and the two of them were soon sitting down together enjoying a relaxing cup of tea.
‘So how are you?’ Rhea asked lightly.
Danielle gave her an understanding smile. ‘It’s all right, I’m not about to break apart at the seams. You’ve seen the newspapers the last few days?’
‘Yes,’ her friend nodded.
‘So you know Nick is back in my life.’
‘Why, Ellie?’ Rhea couldn’t pretend not to be puzzled by her behaviour, the only other person to know the whole truth about that night seven years ago.
She looked up at her friend with a blaze of emotion. ‘Why do you think?’ she choked.
‘Darling, you’ll get hurt—’
‘But so will he be when I’ve finished with him,’ her hands clenched into fists. ‘Seven years ago I meant nothing to him, was just another body, but it’s different this time, now I have all the power.’
‘Ellie—’
‘I didn’t intend doing this, Rhea,’ she cut across her friend’s reasoning voice. ‘But he expected me to meekly consent to share his bed for a few weeks. I couldn’t do that and not make him pay for what happened in the past.’
‘But, Ellie, he doesn’t know all that happened in the past,’ Rhea defended.
‘He knows enough. And the rest I’ll tell him.’
‘But nothing you do now can change the past—’
‘No,’ Danielle acknowledged tautly. ‘But at least I’ll have the satisfaction of giving him the same humiliation he gave me. I have to do it, Rhea, so please don’t try to talk me out of it.’
Her friend sighed her acceptance of the situation. ‘Will you tell him about the baby being his too?’
‘No,’ she rasped. ‘Because she was mine! I just want to give him back his money and let him see how it feels.’
A Past Revenge Page 10