Taking Chances

by Deanna Frances

  “Did you find Jacquie?” he asked me, again stealing a glance at Matt quickly.

  “Yeah, she was in the kitchen.”

  “Okay, I found Jeremy. Mike, Dean, and Annie are here, too.”

  “Cool,” I replied.

  “Well, Sydney, I’m going to go meet up with some friends. I’ll see you later.” Matt smiled before walking away. “Hopefully soon.”

  “What’s Matt so anxious about?” Spencer asked angrily as Matt left.

  “He got me a job at Lakeview.”

  “Oh.” He looked back to where Matt had just been standing.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “I don’t like that guy at all.” He shook his head angrily.

  “Why?” I asked. “It seems as if everyone knows but me.”

  “Bad memories, that’s all.” He didn’t look at me.

  “Don’t worry,” I told him. “You’re my boyfriend. Not him.” He smiled and calmness came back into his amazing light brown eyes.

  I stood up on the tip of my toes, threw my arms around his neck, and brought my lips to his. He put one of his hands on my back, and his lips moved eagerly, yet lightly restrained with mine. Most of his worries were gone. I would never leave him, and he knew that.

  Chapter 8

  INDESCRIBABLE LOVE

  Somewhere near eleven, everyone but Jeremy, Jacquie, Annie, Michael, Dean, Spencer and I were gone. We all sat on the couches in the family room, watching TV. The guys left around midnight.

  Jacquie, Annie and I decided we would sleep down in the gigantic living room, so we made a huge bed out of three blankets and a bunch of pillows. We ate chips and salsa, drank soda pop, and watched the chick flicks P.S. I love you, with Gerard Butler, You’ve got mail, with Tom Hanks, and No reservations. Watching No Reservations made me think about Spencer, because some of Michael Buble’s songs are in it. That night was probably one of the most fun nights I had ever had. Jacquie was right, the fun came eventually. We fell asleep at three-thirty in the middle of our third movie.

  When we woke up, it was extremely bright out. I figured it had to be at least ten-thirty in the morning. I looked at my cell phone. It was eleven forty-five! Well, that was what we deserved after not falling asleep until three in the morning.…

  “That’s the latest I’ve ever slept in,” I told Jacquie and Annie.

  “This is my latest, too,” Annie said.

  “Not mine. I slept in until three in the afternoon once,” Jacquie said.

  “Are you serious?” Annie said.

  “Yep. I had been at a party until about two-thirty in the morning, I came home wasted.”

  “Wait, wasted, as in…you were drinking?” Annie asked, shocked.

  “Yeah. I didn’t drink anymore after that, though. It was my first and last time.”

  “That’s good that you don’t do it anymore.” I said, thinking back to that pack of cigarettes on the counter.

  “Yeah. Even when I turn twenty-one, I’m not sure if I’ll drink. It made me feel like crap, and then it made me do things that I still regret.”

  “Like what?” Annie asked.

  Jacquie sighed. “I lost my virginity that night, with a college guy I didn’t even know.” she said, ashamed.

  “How old were you?” Annie asked sadly, feeling genuinely sorry for Jacquie.

  “I had just turned fifteen. But even though it was a few days after my fifteenth birthday, I was pretty much still fourteen.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jacqs,” Annie said.

  “It’s not your fault. It was mine. But that’s why I strongly suggest that you guys don’t drink until you’re legal. And even when you are, don’t get wasted. I love you guys too much to want you to do something stupid like I did. If you’re married by then, go ahead.” She giggled. Annie and I smiled. “But, my life plans were thrown away because of stupid alcohol. I was planning on not losing my virginity until I got married. It would be something that would give me pride. I would know that I was responsible enough to not do anything bad as a teenager. My cousin ruined her life and lost her pride, and I didn’t want to be like her. She was the one who threw the party. She was seventeen then, now she’s twenty and she’s already screwed up her life. She is single and raising two young children because their fathers abandoned them. She lives in Rockford, and her mom is taking care of the kids most of the time.”

  “You’re only seventeen, Jacquie, you can still change your life. You already have since then. I’ve been best friends with you since the end of our freshman year. Now we’re juniors and I would have never guessed that you had done any of that stuff. You’re a really good person, Jacqs.” Jacquie sat sullenly, and Annie continued, “You’re not the one with two kids. You have a long-term boyfriend who really cares about you. Jeremy would never leave you, even if you did get pregnant as a teen. He would stay with you, no matter what.” She stressed out many of the words to prove her point.

  “I guess you’re right.” She sighed. “My baby loves me.”

  Annie and I smiled.

  “Well, now you guys know my secret.” Jacquie said. “Now, who’s hungry, ‘cause I’m starving,” she said with a laugh.

  The girls decided to go up to DeKalb for lunch. We ate at the Junction or “The J” as we called it. I didn't have money to eat, so I told them I wasn't hungry. I didn't want to spend the money my mom had given me, because it was for a dress. After lunch, we went shopping. Jacquie and Annie love to shop.

  At around three-thirty, Annie and Jacquie took me home. When I got into the house, Aunt Megan was watching TV in the living room.

  “Where are Lillian and Rebecca?” I asked.

  “Oh, they went to friends’ houses to spend the night…again. They have a lot more friends than I thought they did. You have the house to yourself until tomorrow afternoon. Well, unless your parents finally decide to come back. Where did they go anyway?” she asked as I went to sit on the couch with her.

  “I don’t know. Probably to another casino. Michael loves to gamble.”

  Aunt Megan sighed. “I don’t know why they leave you alone.”

  “Um…they usually have us with a baby-sitter,” I lied. “But this time they told me I was old enough to watch the girls for a few days…Um…Thanks for watching them last night.” I said, getting off topic.

  “No problem, sweetie. Now, you have the house to yourself until tomorrow. What are you going to do now?” she asked as if she were a reporter asking the quarterback of the football team who’d just won the Super Bowl…”You’ve won the big game, what are you going to do now? I’m going to Disney World!”

  I thought about my answer for a minute. I could invite Jacquie over to have another sleepover. I could just stay home and have a night to myself, or I could have the night to myself, and Spencer.

  “…Um…I think I might have Spencer over to watch a movie or something,” I replied.

  “Oooo,” she said. “Have fun.” She laughed. I punched her playfully on the shoulder.

  “I didn’t mean it like that!” I said.

  “Sure you didn’t.” She laughed. “I’ll be watching you, Sydney Nicole…if he does anything out of line…” She laughed.

  “Don’t worry. I know how to handle myself if he ever does. I’ll see you later, Aunt Megan.” I said as she walked out of the door, still laughing.

  “Bye, Sweetie. Have fun!” She kept laughing until she got into her car.

  I shook my head as I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and sent Spencer a text.

  Hey, do you want to hang out at my house tonight, just u and me? - Syd

  I received a reply about one minute later.

  Yeah, sure. What time? - Spence

  I checked the time. It was about four P.M. I replied,

  Anytime, I’m home alone until tomorrow afternoon.

  I put my cell phone back into my pocket, and went over to sit on the couch.

  About three minutes later, Spencer drove into my driveway. I guess he was eager
to see me. As soon as he got into the house, he kissed me. He must have been just as excited as I was to be alone. We had the entire night to ourselves.

  One thing I learned about Spencer that night is that he loves chick flicks. We must have watched three of them by eleven. We watched everything from The Perfect Man to The Notebook to The Wedding Date, and everything in between. Of course, I wasn’t always paying attention to the movies. I spent some time kissing Spencer. We didn’t go far. After hearing Jacquie’s story earlier that day, I was all for not loosing my virginity until I was happily married.

  I didn’t think I’d ever have a guy spend the night at my house, I was wrong. I didn’t even realize it, but in the early hours of Sunday morning, I fell asleep on the big couch, in Spencer’s arms.

  We woke up that morning at ten-fifteen. Spencer’s arms were still wound snugly around me, and I felt the safest I had ever felt in my entire life. I never wanted to move. I wanted to stay in his arms for the rest of my life. I wanted to be with him forever. He mattered more to me than anyone else.

  Eventually, Spencer had to leave. Neither of us liked that. When he left, he said he’d be working at my farm later that night, and that he’d be sure he stopped and talked to me if he had time. Otherwise, he would see me when he picked me up for school the next morning. I still didn’t have my car back. Spencer also offered to drive me to school for the rest of the week.

  Later that day, I got a call from the manager of Lakeview Books. He offered me a job and asked if I could start on Friday.

  Lillian and Rebecca came home around five when their friends’ parents dropped them off. And Michael and Maddie came home just before them. I was expecting Lillian and Rebecca, but not my parents.

  Michael came into my room, almost breaking the door in the process. He came over to me and started yelling about how Lillian and Rebecca weren’t supposed to leave. He pushed me off the bed and threw his beer glass at me. The glass shattered into tiny pieces onto the hardwood floor, and I felt the glass cut deep into my arm. He took my books off of my bookshelf and threw them at me, and tears fell from my eyes in pain and fear. He finally left, screaming about how Maddie needed to raise me better and I was afraid of what he was going to do to her. I fell asleep after cleaning up my room and washing out the cut on my arm. I put a big Band-Aid on it and tried not to sleep on my side.

  Spencer came to pick me up at seven forty-five the next morning for school. It seemed really dangerous to have him there when Michael could go on a rampage at any moment, but Michael and Maddie had already left for the day, and I was sitting alone on the deck waiting when he arrived. He sat down next to me. I was tired, angry and sad from the fight the night before, wondering how long I’d have to deal with that.

  “What’s wrong?” Spencer asked, putting his arms around me.

  “Nothing.” My voice cracked. I hadn’t noticed that I’d been crying.

  “I know you better than that, Syd. You know you can tell me anything,” he said, pressing his face in my hair, and kissing my head.

  “It’s nothing.” I sniffled. I didn’t realize I was that sad.

  “Sydney?” He turned to face me. “Seriously. I don’t want there to be any secrets in between us. If there’s something…anything that you need to talk about, I’m here. That’s what a boyfriend is for. A boyfriend is supposed to make you happy, and seeing you like this…it makes me feel like I’m not doing a very good job.” He looked like he was ashamed of something.

  I put my hand on the back of his neck, playing with his hair, and looking deeply into his eyes.

  “Spencer, you’re the best boyfriend a girl could ever ask for. I should have told you that before. You’re my life. You mean more to me than my own family. I know that you’re going to say that I should be thankful for my family, but…the truth is that…my parents are—”

  Spencer cut me off when his lips pressed anxiously against mine. He kissed me like it was our last moment together, like one of us was going to die any second. My lonely hand lying on my lap reached up to join the other at the back of Spencer’s neck. I might not have been able to tell him my secret, but the feeling I got while kissing him was like I had skipped dying from the abuse. I had gone straight to heaven. All I needed was Spencer. He didn’t know it, but he was already helping me with my problems. Without knowing it, he had kept me away from Michael and Maddie’s abuse. He was saving me, inside and out.

  Spencer’s phone rang. I kept my arms around him, kissing his forehead, and watching his face clearly. I could hear Jeremy on the phone. I suddenly felt angry for not telling him my secret. I did not want anything to come between us anymore.

  “Where are you guys?” Jeremy asked “First hour starts in ten minutes.”

  “We’ll be right there,” Spencer sighed. I sighed too, not wanting to stop kissing him. He hung up the phone and kissed me once more before standing up, taking my hand, and leading me over to his car.

  The drive to school was interesting. Spencer and I were talking and laughing the entire time about random things that came into our heads. When we got to school, we walked hand in hand to our lockers where Jacquie, Jeremy, Mike and Annie were waiting for us.

  “Hey Spence. Hi Syd,” Mike welcomed us.

  “Hi,” I replied, opening my locker.

  “Where’s Dean?” Spencer asked them.

  “He’s already in class, talking to his newly acquired Homecoming date,” Annie said.

  “Who is it?” Spencer asked, closing his locker and coming over to mine.

  “Emily Martinson,” Jacquie said.

  “She said ‘yes’?” Spencer and I asked at the same time. Emily Martinson was in my Biology class. She was the one who had passed out the textbooks on the first day.

  “Yep. He asked her this morning,” Jacquie replied.

  “That’s so cool,” I said, taking Spencer’s hand again.

  Today was an A-day, so I was off to Biology without Spencer. I told him that I’d see him at lunch.

  It was also Spirit Week. There were red and black signs everywhere around the school reminding us about it. I had completely forgotten that the Homecoming bonfire was on Friday, and that the big Homecoming dance was Saturday. I was supposed to work at Lakeview Books for the first time on Friday. Crap! I’d have to call later that night and figure something out.

  I walked into Biology and sat down at my seat just as the bell rang. We had cut it really close. Note to self: Don’t leave five minutes before class starts. Class that morning was basically a review, so I didn’t really pay attention. Instead, I wrote down some new poems in my journal.

  “So, how was Biology?” Spencer chuckled as I stood next to him in line for lunch.

  “Boring, as usual.”

  “Well, P.E won’t be as boring.”

  “I guess. I don’t really like P.E, but I never get tired of being with you.”

  “I guess that’s a good thing.” He gave me his amazing smile.

  We got our lunches and sat down next to each other.

  The next two days were fun. In Creative Writing class on Tuesday, people gave me more compliments than criticism on my “Love” poem. And on Wednesday, I had a Biology test. It was easy, so I know I passed.

  On Thursday morning, Jacquie picked me up. I gave Spencer a break from driving me to school, because he had already offered to take me to get my car afterwards.

  “Hey Jacquie,” I said as I stepped into the Navigator. “Where’s Jeremy?”

  “I asked him to ride with Mike.”

  “Why?”

  “I need to talk to you alone.” She didn’t smile, she just stared out at the road.

  “Oh,” I said. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” She laughed. “I just wanted to talk to you about Spencer.” She kept laughing. “You…believed…my mad face…didn’t you?” she asked through laughter.

  “What?”

  She stopped laughing. “I made you think something was wrong. Never mind, I wanted to talk to y
ou about Spence.”

  “What about him?” I was curious.

  “I think he’s like totally in love with you. I’ve known him since kindergarten. I’ve grown up with him, and I’ve helped him with all of his relationship problems for the past few years. He’s never even looked at another girl the way he acts around you.”

  “What?” I was totally confused.

  “Spencer really, really loves you, Syd. I’ve never seen him like another girl the way he loves you. I believe he might be thinking of a very long-term relationship between you two. I want to know how you feel about him.”

  I was silent, still taking all of her words in.

  “How do you really feel about Spencer?” she asked again.

  “I’m in love with him,” I whispered, truthfully.

  She smiled. “Really?”

  I nodded.

  “Cool. You see, Spence and I are like brother and sister. We look out for each other, and I don’t want him to be completely in love with you if you’re just going to end up breaking up with him soon.”

  “No. No, I would never.” I couldn’t even think of the possibility of Spencer and me breaking up. I loved him too much to ever even think of hurting him.

  “Good.” She smiled. “Don’t worry. I just wanted to know.”

  “I really do love him, with all of my heart.” I smiled back.

  “I’ll always remember that,” she replied. “You’d better watch it, girly…” She laughed.

  When we got to school, I went to my locker, hoping to find Spencer there. He wasn’t. I looked at my cell phone; it was only seven-thirty. I got all of my books and decided to go out to the Memorial Garden in the backyard of the school. At about seven-fifty, I got a text message.

  Syd,

  Where are you? - Spence

  I replied:

  I’m in the back of the school, sitting in the Memorial Garden.

  A few minutes later, Spencer came into the Garden, and sat at the table with me.