Who I Am With You (My Kind Of Country #1)

by M. Lynne Cunning

  What if Mason had come around the corner when I had his father in a chokehold? It pained Chad to even contemplate it. He hadn’t meant to get so involved, but seeing Katie and Jay, two grown adults, treating their son like a pawn in a vindictive game had just been too much for him. And, if you added Jay’s snarky innuendo and ridiculous accusations toward Katie, then no one could blame him for intervening. Admittedly, he hadn’t realized he was so fond of Mason, fond enough to want to protect him in such an aggressive manner. But, if he was honest with himself, it wasn’t just Mason he wanted to protect.

  It was Katie.

  She didn’t deserve to be left alone, especially not after the heartbreaking ordeals she’d already been through, and she sure as hell didn’t deserve to be disrespected in her own home by the man who had left her. She’d had to hire help, for God’s sake, because the man who promised to be there for her couldn’t even provide that kind of help to her. Chad tightened his grip on the coffee mug between his fingers, growing more anxious again just thinking about it.

  It wasn’t his place to get involved in Jay’s matters; those didn’t concern him. However, from now on, he was going to be involved in Katie’s, offering her help in any way she sought fit. Why? The tightening in his chest at the thought of standing by her side and taking on the world gave him the answer, but he knew he wasn’t ready yet to admit what that answer was.

  Chapter Fourteen

  KATIE

  Katie stood on the front porch, watching the dust cloud up behind Jay’s car as it disappeared out the laneway, swerving slowly from left to right to avoid the potholes. Normally, she would have chastised herself for not having had the laneway grated properly to fix those problems, but today it was the furthest thing from her mind. Thankfully, after a quick hug and kiss on the forehead from his father, Mason had disappeared into the barn to search out the litter of kittens hidden within it. She presumed Chad was in the same general vicinity, judging by the rollicking melodies of Eric Church that cascaded out the open barn doors. Still on edge, she followed the music into the barn, the lyrics getting progressively louder as she entered the building.

  “Chad? Mase?” She saw no one, save for the horses that stared quizzically back at her. Suddenly, a shrill shriek of laughter wafted to meet her, and she turned her head toward the other end of the breezeway where the sound had come from. She took the few steps toward the back door and peered out around the corner. Five little furballs with various markings in black and white bobbed up and down around Mason, who sat cross-legged on the ground outside the feed supply room. Chad was knelt beside him, waving his finger from side to side in front of Mason, which caused the kittens to follow, tripping and toppling over one another as they went. Mason squealed with delight again, laughing so hard that Katie was sure she could see the glint of joyful tears on the brims of his eyelids.

  Instead of joining in, she withdrew back into the barn, content to fill the hay feeders and muck out the horse stalls alone. Jay may have left relatively uneventfully, but she still wasn’t yet prepared to face Chad after the altercation he’d been a part of in the kitchen. Katie knew she should be angry with him, that he would ever lay a hand on someone, let alone her ex-fiancé, in her own home. He’d also done it while Mason was there, which should have been even worse. However, right now, all her mind and body were telling her to do was wrap that man in the tightest of hugs and thank him for what he did. It had been ages since she could recall anyone standing up for her or taking her side regarding anything, and for Chad to have done it so readily and so feverishly... well, it had made an impact on all parties standing in that room. Some were more happy about it than others, she thought wryly. It was just nice to have someone around who wanted to defend her, even if his efforts had been mildly overstated. A smug smirk played on her lips as she worked from stall to stall, getting lost in the rhythmic comfort that the music provided. The radio announcer spoke between songs, but she let his words fade into the background, slowly beginning to feel calmed enough to push Jay’s parting words from her mind. She didn’t need to think about him right now and, frankly, she didn’t want to. The first few chords played in her ears as the next song began, its intro sounding familiar to her. The singer began to croon his testament of finding love in an unexpected place in a way that only country music could allow. She sang along with the lyrics she knew and hummed the parts she didn’t, all the while working away and letting her mind drift—away from the tense situation that was her life and the bitter attitude that she’d become accustomed to harboring. For a moment, she felt almost peaceful. At least, that was until she whirled around, a pitchfork full of hay still in her hands, and saw Chad and Mason standing there watching her. Mason looked amused, probably because of her horrid singing voice. Chad, on the other hand, looked as though he’d seen a ghost, the color drained from his face as he stared at her, unblinking.

  “What’s wrong?” she questioned, standing still as she stared back at the two of them.

  “I-I just didn’t expect you to be singing, I guess.”

  "What? You mean you didn't think I could sing so well?"

  "You consider tone deaf and singing to be interchangeable?" He flashed a sly grin at her, the tension easing slightly in his shoulders.

  As much as she wanted to know what his problem was, she could tell that he was trying to recover from whatever had caught his attention. Therefore, instead of pushing the issue, she shrugged it off. "I like that song, so excuse me if I sing along in all my tone deaf glory." She stuck her tongue out, and Mason laughed at her childishness.

  “You like that song?”

  “You sound shocked. It’s good, solid country. So, yeah, I like it.” Until that moment, Katie hadn't noticed the kitten tucked in her son’s arms, squirming as he struggled to hold it still. "That kitten needs to go back with the rest of them, Mase. It has a mom who won't be able to find it if you're carting it around."

  "Oh, I'm sure it'll be fine for a few minutes, Katie." Chad's voice pleaded with her to let him keep it, but a second later when he recognized the shadow crossing Katie's face, his jaw clenched and she knew he had realized his mistake.

  "Mason, take the kitten back out to its family." She said more sternly than she meant to. "Please," she added with a fake smile, hoping to prevent her son from thinking he had done something wrong. She watched as Mason looked up at Chad, but when he nodded in confirmation of Katie's request, Mason sighed loudly and headed back toward the back of the barn, dragging his feet as he went.

  "Sorry, Katie," Chad breathed after Mason was out of earshot. He removed his hat and ran his hand through his hair, replacing the cap as he bowed his head apologetically.

  "You're good with him." She fought back the urge to grin when his eyebrows shot up in surprise. Obviously, those weren't the words he'd expected her to share with him. She crossed her arms, leaning against the wooden beam of the horse stall. "But, don't undermine me when it comes to him, all right? He likes you, and if you question what I tell him, he will as well." She didn't want to scold him; he was already sheepish enough about it to begin with. She just hoped she was leveling the playing field, which was her only intent, trying to keep the edge out of her tone.

  He nodded again. "Of course. I'm sorry, Katie. He's a good kid."

  "He is," Katie agreed. "But he can get a stubborn attitude. Honestly, I don't know where he gets it from." The humor broke out across her face then, and Chad seemed visibly relieved that she wasn't angry with him. Frankly, Katie was a tad surprised at her lack of frustration as well. Maybe her brain was still reeling from his heroic stance against Jay earlier.

  Yes, that had to be it.

  Chapter Fifteen

  CHAD

  Walking into the barn and bearing witness to Katie singing along with the one song he'd written, sung, and performed all the way into the Billboard charts' Top 10 was unsettling, to say the least. To see the old life he had walked away from collide so nonchalantly into his current one—the notion hadn't re
ally occurred to him. Then again, he was a fool to believe he could keep up such pretenses for much longer. Katie wasn't an idiot, and she picked up on discrepancies and inconsistencies in his stories every time he even mentioned any time before the last week or so. As much as he tried to just forget¸ to just not talk about it, somehow minute details slipped through the ever-widening cracks of his memory, invading his thoughts and his conversations regardless of his efforts to keep them at bay. The problem was that Katie could see how much it affected him, even though she didn't fully comprehend why. She would figure it all out sooner or later, and then what? Katie had been hurt and betrayed already more than anyone possibly deserved. It pained Chad to even think about it, but he knew that his lies of omission and vagueness would just be the last straw for her. He would hurt her, even after he swore to her that he wouldn't.

  He had to come clean about who he actually was.

  When he really thought about it, what did it matter? It's not like Katie would have even cared that he was a country singer, little money in the bank, playing gigs at night, just chasing his lifelong dream. She knew the real him, the one he'd meant to finally let shine through, the guy he had seemed to forget all about for the past ten years. With Liz, in Nashville, he knew now how caught up he’d been in the lifestyle and the constant craziness of always wanting... more. Yes, he and Liz had been chasing a common goal for years, and he'd even succeeded in turning "Take Me Home" into a Top 10 single. But, when that finally happened, had it been enough? No. Instead of he and Liz rejoicing over their efforts and creative collaborations finally paying off, they'd immediately headed back into the studio to record countless songs in hopes of following up with another song that would be even better received than its predecessor. It wasn't until he had stepped away from the honky-tonk craziness that he realized just how far he’d removed himself from enjoying the life he was too busy rushing around in trying to create. Constantly battling to one-up his own previous successes and to do even better than the last time, he couldn't remember the last time he had given himself the time to relish in his successes without automatically trying to figure out how he could have done better. While creating the life he wanted, he had forgotten to live.

  Tonight. When Mason was safely tucked into bed, after Chad had finished hauling the hay into the barn for the morning feedings, he would tell Katie the truth.

  Everything.

  They had both become accustomed to sitting on the front porch, the sun disappearing behind the trees as they each sipped a glass of homemade iced tea and planned the next day's work tasks. In only a little more than a week, Chad had begun to look forward to it, the only relaxing moment all day that either of them allowed themselves. During that hour or so each night was when he saw Katie's demeanor change as well, leading him to believe that she enjoyed that part of their day together, too. His stomach tightened anxiously at the thought of it, and that in itself was the reason he felt he needed to be completely honest with her. When Katie allowed herself to lessen the tension in her shoulders and gave herself the leeway to step away from the business side of things, she had the capability to smile, laugh, and even light up a room for those around her—but the hardest part was catching her at a time when she would permit herself to do so. It was obvious that she had built up her defenses, sky high walls around her heart and her emotions—in an attempt to avoid pain and hurt again. Instead, only seriousness remained, shrouded in a veil of anger and bitterness. He could see now, though, that was not the real Katie at all, and it was only during those sunsets and glasses of iced tea that she had let him realize it. Therefore, he waited for those moments each day, the ones where he could sit beside the Katie who radiated with content smiles and an easy manner, even for just a short while. It was a shame that Mason didn't get to see her in such a way, but Chad couldn't deny it—he felt a source of pride at being able to witness it on his own.

  Katie's true identity was a secret that she had chosen to reveal to him, and the thought of it made the corners of his mouth turn upwards.

  He would reveal his own secret tonight, and though the thought of it filled him with anxiety of the potential repercussions, he sent a glance toward the cloudless sky, silently praying that she would see past his mistake of lying to her and see him in the flawed-but-beautiful way he saw her.

  ***

  He sat on the front porch quietly, squinting into the setting sun. He only turned when he heard the screen door squeak open and closed behind him, and Katie joined him on the porch with the hint of amusement on her lips. The condensation from the glass between her fingertips was dripping onto the faded painted stairs.

  “Wow, he was out like a light within minutes. He didn’t even make it to the end of the story,” she said. Chad watched from the corner of his eye as she visibly relaxed, her own gaze extending outward across the barnyard at the long shadows that crept along the gravel and the garden.

  “Tuckered him out today, huh?” Chad chuckled, knowing full well that Mason had worked just as hard as he and Katie on the pumpkin patch. Watching such a small boy heave around big ol’ pumpkins that probably weighed half of what he did had been quite amusing, at least until Chad’s fascination with watching the boy work had crossed from amusement into being thoroughly impressed. The boy wasn’t scared of hard work, and the thought crossed Chad’s mind that maybe, in some way, Mason felt he had to work that hard and help out his mom since his dad wasn’t around to do it. Chad pursed his lips to bite back the rush of disgust that came over him just thinking about Jay and his sense of entitlement.

  “He worked hard today, probably to show off to you.” Katie bit her bottom lip to suppress the humor.

  Chad turned to meet her eyes questioningly. “Show off?”

  She nodded her head toward the screen door. “He asked me just before I started into the story if I thought you were proud of him for being such a big help.” She looked away, her gaze returning to the shadows before her. “I assured him we both were, and that we couldn’t have done it without him.”

  “Of course. He was a real trooper today.” Chad didn’t know how else to respond, but his heart swelled with pride that Mason would want to prove something to him. Sometimes, it was easy for Chad to forget just how beyond his years Mason truly was.

  Katie seemed to mull over her thoughts, glancing down at the glass in her hands, then turned to face Chad. “You’re really good with him, you know.”

  Chad quickly wondered if maybe he wasn’t the only one who had plans to have a serious conversation tonight, one that had nothing to do with work. “He’s a good kid, Katie. He gets along with everybody pretty well, I think.”

  Katie gave a brief nod. “That may be true, but he seems to like you more than most other people. You’re definitely cooler than I am.” She flashed him a sideways grin, nudging him lightly with her knee.

  “Everyone is cooler than your mom when you’re a kid.” Chad laughed. “Don’t take it personally.” He winked at her. “You ain’t so bad though, trust me.” The thought toppled out of his mouth before he realized he was speaking it aloud. If he had been someone who got easily embarrassed, he would have felt the heat flush in his cheeks. Fortunately, he shrugged it off as a lighthearted remark and took a drink from his glass to fill the silence between them. He swallowed the cool liquid, stealing a glance to his right. He may not have been the blushing type, but Katie evidently was. Her cheeks glowed brilliantly with an intense red heat, and Chad took another drink just so he could mask the smirk crossing his lips. So, Katie was paying attention to the undertone of his words. The shift in conversation caused an awkward hush to fall over them, neither knowing what to say next. When Chad saw Katie pull her knees up tighter to her chest, setting her glass down momentarily to rub warmth back into her bare arms, he came up with an idea.

  “How about I make a bonfire?”

  “A bonfire? No, that’s okay. It’s a lot of work to get it going.”

  Chad waved off the idea. “Not at all if you know how
to do it properly.” He smiled slyly.

  “It’s late, Chad. Don’t worry about—”

  “Just for a little bit, okay?” He reached out and touched her arm, so gently that a feather may have weighed more. However, the impact his touch had on both of them was instantaneous, and their eyes flew first to stare at his fingertips on her skin, then up to meet the other’s gaze. Her eyes were wide, unsure, and questioning, but she nodded in agreement.

  “Go grab yourself a sweater and I’ll get some scrap wood from the barn work I did earlier this week to use as kindling.” He patted her arm, a friendly gesture, in hopes that he hadn’t scared her back into being the serious Katie he was usually able to banish by now. Another curt nod answered his suggestion, and Katie disappeared into the house without a word.

  Intent on building a decent fire, Chad tried not to worry too much about the fact that Katie hadn’t yet returned. It was growing darker by the second, and he wondered silently if she had perhaps locked the door behind her and decided not to come back outside. You pushed her too far, he thought sadly. The fire was crackling weakly when she finally returned, her emergence from the house announced by the squeak of the door and the dark figure making its way across the gravel lot to the cleared spot of grass where Chad had chosen to create the makeshift fire pit.

  “You had to build the fire on the grass?”

  “It was the only spot that was far enough away from all the trees that surround this place. Is that all right?” Immediately, he felt bad for not asking first, followed by a sense of dread that she was angry with him, not only for burning the patch of grass but also for touching her earlier.

  He saw her head nod, her blonde locks illuminated by the ever growing flickering flames in front of her. “Sure. There are a few canvas chairs in the utility shed. I’ll be right back.”