She was plagued relentlessly by the question of how she could have been so wrong about him. Was she really so desperate—so naïve—that she would let someone else hurt her the way she was hurting right now? After all she’d been through with Jay, had she learned nothing about keeping a safe distance from things that seemed too good to be true? Chad had shown up weeks ago and done all the right things, said all the right things to make Katie want him there. Now, not only did she want him there with her, but Mason did, too.
“Is Chad coming home today?” her son had asked at breakfast that morning, his eyes wide as he peered toward the screen door expecting him to meander in, coffee cup in hand, as he’d done on so many mornings before.
“No, Mase. For today, it’s just me. Better get your stuff together or you’ll be late for school, buddy.” Katie hadn’t even been able to look at him. Her first inclination had been to clarify immediately that this was not Chad Kirkwood’s—or Ashton’s, or whatever his name was—home. The urge to scream it from the rooftop reverberated through her. However, she reined in her anger and plastered a smile on her face instead. None of this was Mason’s fault, and the last thing he needed was to be parked in the middle of another relationship catastrophe.
Now, though, being faced with the entire situation and having no distractions other than the physical labor that caused thin beads of sweat to trickle sporadically down her temples, Katie had no choice but to admit that Mason was only a part of this ordeal because she’d allowed him to be. She had made him vulnerable, let him get too close. The same way she had gotten too close.
But Katie had wanted Chad. If she was really, truly, deep down honest with herself, she wanted things to work out with Chad. Perhaps it hadn’t exactly been love at first sight, or head over heels, but there was no denying that a switch had flipped that night in front of the bonfire. If she closed her eyes now, she could vividly conjure up the way he’d looked with the bonfire flames dancing in the reflection of his pale blue eyes as he’d stared into her, watching her...
He’d known it, too, that something had changed between them then. Maybe he had even known she would give in and kiss him. Katie shook her head, dismissing the thoughts she needed so badly to forget. There was no way he could have known, yet they’d become so in tune with each other over the preceding weeks, she just wasn’t sure anymore. Asking questions without speaking, sharing inside jokes with only the flicker of a grin. How had he come to know her that well but not realize that eventually she would figure out his motives? How could he be so damned cruel...
You don’t want to fight for us. There’s a difference.
His words still pierced through her core, stinging more fiercely with each flash of Chad’s defeated features as he had spoken them. Katie swallowed the lump that rose in her throat, pushing her barely-controlled emotions back down into the pit of her stomach. For the millionth time since he’d uttered those words, another question chipped away at Katie’s entire being.
What if Chad was telling the truth? What if he didn’t seek her out to get Liz and Jay’s attention in some misguided way? What if all he’d done was lie about his career so he could just step away from it all? The idea that Katie had turned him away when, in fact, he may not have been quite so devious and underhanded as she’d initially been led to believe caused bile to rise in her throat once again.
“Damn it!” she cursed, tossing the last forkful of hay into the feeder. She leaned the pitchfork against the wall and brushed her hands on her jeans. Seeing as Cash was still keeping close by her, she knew without looking at her watch that there were still a few hours to go before Mason trudged off the school bus. However, she glanced at her watch anyway, confirming she still had roughly a bit more than two hours before she had to be back to meet him at the end of the laneway. There was still so much to do before the sun sank behind the trees, but it would have to wait.
The only way she would ever truly know what happened would be to ask. Due to her angry demand for him to leave the other day, Katie had no idea where to find Chad now. However, it was time to find out the truth about everything, and she knew exactly where to go to get the other side of the story.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
CHAD
There was no denying it. He didn’t want to see either one of them. Their lies, deceit, and embellishments were the real reason his own lie of omission looked like such a travesty. He would rather go back to Katie’s doorstep and grovel on his hands and knees, begging her, pleading with every ounce of dignity he had left for her to just give him one more chance to make it up to her and explain it all. Unfortunately, they were beyond that now.
Instead, Chad had dialed the phone number he knew by heart, pushing each digit slowly into the disposable cell phone he’d barely used since he’d purchased it. Liz had seemed genuinely surprised to hear from him, and he detected the momentary hesitation in her voice before giving him the address and directions to Jay’s apartment. Good, he thought, you should be a little unsettled by everything that’s gone on as well.
“Are you just coming here to start a fight?” Liz had drawled out. The twang in her voice made him roll his eyes. It was fake, brought on by her immense desire to fit into every nook and cranny of Nashville’s elite world of country music. But, it was still fake.
“I’m coming there for answers, Liz. Things I should’ve asked a long time ago.”
“I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”
“Don’t worry, it’s not really you I want to talk to. I’ll be there shortly.” Chad had hung up abruptly after that. According to Liz, it always had to be about—well, Liz. He wondered idly how she would react once she realized that it wasn’t her that Chad was seeking answers for. He was going to fight for Katie, even if she wouldn’t do the same in return.
You may not be willing to fight for me, Katie, he thought. But I’ll damn well fight for you.
***
He was hesitant while he stood in the elevator alone, waiting for it to reach the third floor that the apartment was on. Lightning strikes of worry and uneasiness were flashing through him, and Chad couldn’t avoid wondering if he was doing the right thing by being there. The tightness in his chest was signaling to his brain that too many things could go wrong. Get in and get out, he chanted silently. He just needed Jay to explain to him his side of the story, what exactly he made Katie believe, and then he could get the hell out of there and go find her. She would listen to him this time if she knew he’d made the effort to confront Jay and Liz. Then, he would be able to make things right this time. The muted ding of the elevator bell announced his arrival just as the doors glided open before him. The landing was almost identical to the one he’d walked through on the ground floor, with floor to ceiling windows and simple decor in hues of pale pinks and drab beiges. It was all a little too feminine and artsy for him, but the looks that some of the other folks in the hallways and lobbies were giving him told him that he didn’t quite fit in with the decor either, so perhaps the fish-out-of-water sensation was mutual.
Jay’s name was embossed just above the apartment number on the door in extravagant gold tone calligraphy. Chad swallowed hard, peering behind him to compare it to the other door across the hall. Sure enough, Jay’s name had obviously been redone recently, meaning he’d probably had Katie’s name removed from it. The thought made Chad clench his fists, that Jay believed he could just erase Katie from his life like that. Damn it, she deserved better than this jerk! A second later, though, it occurred to him that Jay had refrained from including Liz’s name with his, and a smug satisfaction washed over him. Once a cheater, always a cheater; isn’t that what they say? Chad wondered how long it would be before Jay hurt Liz the way he’d hurt Katie, and his fists flexed tighter. After one cleansing breath in, and letting it out slowly, he knocked on the door.
He heard the click of her heeled boots on the ceramic tile before she opened it. Liz greeted him with a smile, looking happier to see him than he thought she should. H
is initial reaction was to make some obscene comment about her being the only one happy right now, but he held it in. Nothing would get solved if he couldn’t keep his own pain and anger in check.
“You came. Please, come in.” Liz swung the door back, and Chad couldn’t ignore that she stood back in a stance that begged for him to notice her—her curves in the tight pencil dress she wore, the way her hair was so meticulously styled and falling loosely around her shoulders, and the way her arm was placed on her hip as though she were on show for the world to see. A frustrated sigh passed Chad’s lips, but not for want or desire. He felt sorry that she felt she needed to parade around with no hair out of place, always with her insecurities and feelings tucked safely behind her mask of false confidence.
“I just need to talk to Jay.” He strode past her, catching glimpses into the different rooms of the open concept apartment—the very clean, not-so-lived in apartment—but saw no sign of the man he’d come to speak to. “Where is he?”
“He’s not here, Chad.” Her eyes blinked numerous times, and he wondered then if she was counting down in her head till the moment she thought he would explode in anger.
“So, I’ll ask again, Liz. Where is he?” Chad burrowed his hands into his pockets, hiding the tightly balled fists he was trying unsuccessfully to unclench.
“I asked him to leave for a little while.”
His eyes widened. “What? Liz, I told you on the phone—”
“I know what you said,” she interjected. “I wanted to talk to you myself first.”
A muscle in Chad’s jaw flexed. She thought this was all some kind of game. “I’ve got nothing to say to you.”
“I find that hard to believe, seeing as you’ve obviously already talked with Katie. I’m sure that went well.”
The way she stared at him, the amusement in her eyes, the hint of a smirk at the corner of her mouth, it all made a fury of anger spark within him. “What the hell did you tell her, Liz? It sure as hell wasn’t the truth, whatever it was.” He took a tentative step toward her and watched as she flinched, taking a small step backward as well. Good, at least she was a little worried about the situation. They both knew he’d never hurt her, but he felt more in control knowing that she recognized his seething anger for what it was.
“Nothing, actually.” She held her hands up in surrender. “A few suggestions whispered in her ear and she was quite willing to believe you were a heartbroken man out for revenge. It was Katie’s idea, actually, not ours.”
Chad’s lips pulled back in a snarl. “You and that son of a—”
“Why exactly are you here, Chad?”
The question gave him the moment he needed to rein his anger back in. “That’s none of your goddamn business.”
“We both know this isn’t your hometown, Chad. So why take off from Nashville and come here, to my hometown?”
“My family is only a few hours from here.” He meant it as a stated fact, but it came out defensive and harsh.
“And we both know you haven’t gone back to see them since you came back either.” Liz crossed her arms, waiting for further explanation.
“You don’t know—”
“Chad! I do know, you seem to be forgetting that! I know you better than you know yourself. We both spent our teenage years counting down the days until we could sing our way out of this pit of small-town quicksand! Now, tell me why—”
“You want to know why, Liz? Why?” Chad spat out, his voice meeting hers in volume. “Because it was the last damn thing I had left of you!”
Silence ensued, engulfing the room in tension and wide eyes. Chad was sure his heartbeat could be heard across the room, and he struggled to breathe. He hadn’t meant to blurt out such a confession to Liz. He didn’t want to give her that satisfaction of knowing he’d hung onto his last thread of her like that.
“I’m sorry, Chad.” Liz’s voice was weak, breaking through the silence awkwardly. “About everything.”
“Don’t be. I’ve barely been in town, anyway. And it led me to Katie.”
Liz winced visibly, but recovered just as fast. “Like I said before, a lot of good that did you.”
Chad tilted his head slightly, his own wicked smile crossing his face. “Which part bothers you more? That I might have actually found someone who complements me better than you did, or that the someone I found has ties to Jonathan so you’d never truly be rid of me like you thought?”
“You’re honestly going to tell me that it’s pure coincidence that you came back here and found, of all people, Jay’s ex-fiancé?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Liz. Those kinds of vindictive games are your forte, not mine.” Chad’s words were laced with venomous pain, yet he continued. “I came back here because it’s the only place I’d felt truly close to you, I won’t lie about that. Admit it, Liz. Even in Nashville, you and I weren’t heading in the same direction. Would we have lasted? As much as I’d love to say we would have, I guess I’ll never know, right? You wrecked my whole world, Liz, and if you need to take some sort of enjoyment in that, now’s your chance.”
“I never meant—” Liz stammered. “I mean, I didn’t want—”
“Jay offered you a better gig, I get it. I’m a one hit wonder in a sea of a million country music artists just waiting for their shot. He, on the other hand, was an executive on the other side of the desk. I’ll bet he promised you the world, didn’t he? Good luck with that, Liz, because I’ve got to tell you something. I know how badly he hurt Katie, and I really hope I’m wrong in saying you’re up next. You had the world, and it was with me. No glitz, no empty promises. Just me. But, I’ll tell you, I was devoted to you and never would have done what you did to me.”
“I know you wouldn’t.” For the first time, Liz looked ashamed, pushing a lock of hair back behind her ear. “I made a mistake.”
“Damn right you did.” Chad’s voice had taken on a defeated whisper. He didn’t dare move, but suddenly he felt almost tired, deflated.
“I made a mistake,” she said again, this time looking at him squarely. “I should have never left you, Chad.”
Whatever he had expected her to say in response, it wasn’t that. His brow arched high, a silent plea for clarification. No words formed on his tongue. Instead, he watched her take her first tentative step toward him, followed by a few more confident ones, closing the gap between them.
“I’ve missed you... the way we were...” Liz’s voice floated to him, greeting his ears in a breathy song he’d longed to hear for countless weeks. Now, as she spoke them, Chad stepped away from her. She persisted, coming toward him again, and he relented, letting his body and his mind entwine itself around their meaning.
“You can’t just—”
Liz held her finger gently against Chad’s lips, silencing him. Her eyes gleamed, full of mischief. “I never meant to hurt you, Chad.”
As she whispered the words, he felt the heated caress of her breath on his mouth. “You don’t know what you did to me.” His voice cracked, their closeness overwhelming him. He felt the electricity between them as her fingertips grazed the back of his hands, edging them from his pockets. Her fingers gently entangled with his, making him swallow the lump in his throat again.
“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
“Lizzy, I can’t—”
“I love it when you call me that,” she smiled crookedly, leaning in slowly to kiss along the edge of his jaw. When she brought her face up to meet his, her eyelashes batted softly against his cheek, and he should have pushed her away from him. He should have stepped away from her, distancing himself from the allure she had on him. Hell, he should have run. Instead, he allowed her to get too close, allowed her lips to touch his in a way that his body not only remembered but instinctively reacted to, and he gave in. He kissed her just as she kissed him, in a feverish whirlwind of emotions pouring from his every pore without conscious thought or effort. When his mind took over, however, Chad gasped against her lips, squeezing h
er hands clasped within his, and he pulled back abruptly.
“I can’t do this, Liz.” His voice was soft, but confident.
“It’s okay—”
“No. I have to find Katie. I told you, I’m going to fix this.” He leaned his forehead against hers, the length of his body still pressed to hers.
“But I said—”
“I know what you said, and I’m still in love with Katie.” His eyes met Liz’s, and he thought he saw a flicker of understanding resonate within them.
“She’s a lucky girl,” she announced, a sad smile crossing her face.
Chad leaned down, pressing his lips to hers again, this time more gently, a gesture of parting ways. Liz reciprocated, and thankfully didn’t push for more. It was a sign that she understood, that she realized their time together was now only in the past.
In the silence of the apartment, it should have been easy to pinpoint the noise coming from the hallway, but by the time the two of them comprehended what they were actually hearing, it was too late. The apartment door swung open wide, and Katie was still fiddling with the key in her hand, obviously surprised to find the apartment unlocked. It was no match, however, for the shock etched on her face when she came face to face with Chad and Liz, hands entwined, bodies pressed together in what could easily be construed as a lovers’ embrace. She stood there, dumbfounded, her face displaying first incomprehension, disbelief, and then a look Chad wouldn’t have been able to read if he hadn’t known her the way he did.
Heartbreak outlined her eyes. If Chad hated Jay for hurting her the way he had, then he despised himself for the pain he was causing her now.
“Katie, it’s not—”
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