To her surprise, he opened the back door for her. “Go ahead and sit in front of the fireplace in the parlor. I’m going to take your things up to Cassie’s old bedroom.”
“Cassie’s bedroom? Didn’t you sleep in the same room?”
He closed his eyes and groaned. “Forget I mentioned it, all right? It’s the room you gave birth in. That’s all you need to know.”
Not wishing to further annoy him, she nodded and went to the chair and sat in front of the fire. She breathed a sigh of relief when Luke calmed down. Silence was a wonderful thing.
When Neil, Ben, and Jacob brought in her trunk and carpet bag, she watched as Neil led them up the stairs. She could hear them talking in her new room but couldn’t make out what they were saying.
Jacob bounced down the steps and smiled at her. “You’ll be fine, ma’am. I’m going to head into town to pick up some things for your little boy there. Neil kept the crib that Emily used when she was a baby. He’ll be setting that up for you.”
“I didn’t even think of baby furniture,” she replied, feeling ashamed that they were going through all this trouble for her.
“Well, you didn’t count on losing your husband either. It seems like life’s handed you a hard blow. The least we can do is ease the burden for you.”
“Thank you, Jacob.”
He tipped his hat to her and left the house.
She heard Ben whistle from upstairs. “Gee, Boss. Did you save everything from when Emily was a baby?”
“I didn’t know if Cassie would have another child,” came Neil’s muffled reply. She spotted Neil climbing down a ladder from the attic, carrying a bassinet under his arm. When he noticed her, he motioned for her to come up. “You might as well tell me what you want or don’t want.”
She eased out of the chair and climbed the stairs. Her backside ached in protest. With the hours she spent sitting on the hard wagon seat, it took a great effort to trudge up the narrow staircase. Glancing at the still bundle in her arms, she realized that Luke had finally fallen asleep. She approached the first bedroom on the right and peeked into it, surprised to see folded pink sheets on the bed.
Neil set the bassinet on the hardwood floor beside the headboard and laid a clean blanket in it. “I figure the crib can go at the foot of the bed, if that’s all right with you.”
Stunned by the fact that he took care in arranging the room for her, she felt another stab of guilt pierce her heart. “I’d like to apologize, Mr. Craftsman. I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way I did. It’s clear that I misjudged you.”
Ben came into the room with an armful of pink quilts. “Here they are, boss. They sure are fancy.”
“Cassie insisted on having the best of everything,” Neil dryly replied.
That explained the expensive furniture. Sarah watched as Ben and Neil moved the bed so there was adequate distance between the foot of the bed and the crib.
“After you empty the trunk, I’ll put it in the attic,” Ben told her.
She nodded and placed Luke in the bassinet. The blanket was folded in such a way that it would be comfortable for him. She hadn’t expected Neil to be skilled at this task. Quickly, she took Luke’s things and placed them in a drawer. Then she hung her dresses, shirts, and skirts in the wardrobe. As she placed her undergarments in a drawer, she tried to conceal her embarrassment over showing them her personal attire. Thankfully, they were too busy hammering nails into sections of the crib that had loosened over the years to notice. Once she set aside her bonnets, good shoes, and hats in the remaining drawers, she stepped away from the empty trunk.
Ben closed the lid and picked it up. “You didn’t have a lot.”
“The clothes I have are good quality. I don’t need much. I won’t be demanding.” The promise was directed at Neil though she kept her eyes on Ben.
“I’m sure you won’t,” he kindly replied before leaving the room.
Neil shook the crib. “It’s sturdy now.” He turned to her. “Would you like me to take the bassinet to the kitchen so you can watch Luke while you cook? Emily will be home in an hour and she’ll be hungry.”
“Should I make enough for you too?” she asked, still unable to make eye contact with him.
“We might as well all eat together. I like to talk to Emily at supper. I don’t get much of a chance any other time of the day, though she usually tags along for most of the chores. But then, it’s talk about the animals. You should eat with us. Emily could use a woman to talk to. My mother doesn’t get to see her more than once a week.”
Hiding her anxiety at the thought of eating with him, she nodded. “I’ll get to it.”
She reached to take Luke out of the bassinet but he waved his hand at her. “It wouldn’t be good to wake him. I can carry the bassinet while he sleeps.”
The last thing she wanted to do was argue with him, so she went down the stairs and to the kitchen, noting the gentleness with which he handled the bassinet. She breathed a sigh of relief. At least he wouldn’t be harsh on Luke because of her conduct.
“All right,” Neil began, “I’m going to pick Emily up from school. Do you need anything before I go?”
She shook her head. “You’ve already done more than I deserve. Thank you.”
Without waiting for a response, she turned to the cupboards and saw pots and pans that looked brand new. She blinked in surprise. Did Cassie buy them before the divorce?
“You’re welcome.”
Startled, she glanced back in time to see Neil exit through the door. He softly shut it behind him. She studied the rest of the kitchen, noting that the plates and utensils looked worn. There wasn’t much food to cook with, and what little there was, she suspected was there because of his mother. Gwen had mentioned that she liked to come out on Sunday after church to make them a good meal.
“That farmhand doesn’t make good dishes,” Gwen had confided. “Ever since Cassie left, poor Emily’s been living off of beans and jerky.”
Sarah took a pan out of the cupboard and inspected it. She noted the date on the bottom. It did show signs of use but not much. She suspected that Cassie wasn’t much of a cook, which made her further deduct that Emily had been eating the farmhand’s meals for a lot longer than the year that Cassie had been gone.
Frowning, she tried to remember how long it had been since Neil got the divorce. Everyone knew he got divorced. It was one of the many things her preacher spoke against. Marriage was a sacred institution that wasn’t to be dissolved under any circumstance. That was probably why Jim stayed with her, though she often wondered if he would have left her if given the chance. He certainly hadn’t been in any hurry to protect her from the thieves. He hadn’t even thought enough of her to leave her money in the event he died before she did.
Not wishing to wake her son, she resisted the urge to throw the pan across the room. Her knuckles grew white as she grabbed the handle and willed her sudden anger to subside. She was glad he died. It was a mistake to even marry him. Closing her eyes, she scolded herself for thinking such evil thoughts. He had been her husband, and she wasn’t honoring his memory. It was her duty to think well of him, even if she detested him.
She took a deep breath and concentrated on things that made her happy. Her son, of course, gave her the greatest joy in her life. She didn’t think it was possible that another human being could mean as much to her as he did. Opening her eyes, she looked at him as he slept, swaddled in a warm blanket. He was tiny and fragile, but he experienced a peace that eluded her. She wasn’t sure how long Neil would let her and Luke stay in his home.
Her thoughts were spinning in circles and she needed to concentrate on making supper. She didn’t want to fail her first attempt to earn her keep. If Neil didn’t approve of the way she followed his instructions, he might decide to put her clothes back into her trunk and order her to go. He was, in a sense, her employer, and she needed to do her job to the best of her ability. It did ease her mind to know she was offering something useful in order t
o stay here.
For the next hour, she gathered the few ingredients she could find to make biscuits, boiled potatoes, and stew. She made brown sugar candy for dessert, figuring a little girl might like a treat. She finished the stew just as the energetic pretty girl ran through the door. Sarah had to admit that the girl was as good looking as people claimed Cassie was.
Sarah hadn’t seen Cassie but rumors of her beauty made it to her preacher who spoke on the dangers of lust and how men needed to guard their minds so they didn’t fall into temptation and succumb to the whorehouse. It was after that sermon that Jim insisted Sarah wear somber colors like gray and brown and how she needed to hide her jewelry and wear her hair under her hat or bonnet. She had wondered why he insisted on those rules but had gone along with him to please him. Suddenly, it dawned on her that there were many things she never understood about her husband.
Sarah steadied her emotions and turned her attention to the task at hand. She gathered the plates and bowls and set them on the kitchen table, wondering why there was no tablecloth. Then she reminded herself that a man taking care of a child wouldn’t think of decorating his kitchen. In fact, it lacked any real feminine touches.
Emily took one look at Sarah and blurted out, “What are you doing here? I thought you were going home today.”
Sarah hadn’t expected the girl to be bold in her speech, so she couldn’t think of a good response.
Neil, however, closed the door behind him, set his hat on the hat rack by the door, and shrugged off his coat. “Take off your coat and hat. We’ll discuss this over supper.”
Giving Sarah another questioning look, Emily rushed to do what her father ordered, leaving Sarah to arrange the table for them to eat. She decided that she would sit across from them.
“I will take Luke to the parlor so Emily won’t disturb him,” Neil told her.
She still couldn’t bring herself to look directly at him so she glanced in his direction and nodded as he picked the bassinet off the floor.
“Daddy, I want to see him!” Emily shouted.
“Shhh.” He pressed his finger to his lips. “He needs to sleep, Em. He’s just a baby.”
She immediately quieted down but trailed him as he left the room.
Sarah put the servings for their meal on all the plates and in all the bowls. She filled the glasses with milk and water. By the time she sat down, they came back into the kitchen.
“He’s like a doll,” Emily told her father. “Except, he’s more interesting because he moves.”
A slight grin crossed his face. He pulled out her chair and motioned for her to sit, which she did, neatly arranging her dress. He sat next to Emily and examined the table. “This looks like a fine meal, Mrs. Donner.”
Sarah cleared her throat and stared at the spoon in her hand. “Thank you.”
“Daddy, can I ask why Mrs. Donner is still here?” Emily asked.
Though she couldn’t look directly at Neil, Sarah had no trouble looking into Emily’s green eyes. Something about the color of the child’s eyes bothered Sarah. Neil had clear blue eyes, and from what she heard, Cassie had gray eyes.
Neil put honey on his biscuit as he answered, giving Sarah the freedom to eat while he explained the situation to the girl. “Emily, you remember how Mrs. Donner’s husband died?”
Emily mumbled an “um hum” as she bit into her biscuit, careful to not spill any crumbs anywhere but on her plate.
“Well, since Mrs. Donner’s husband is no longer alive, he can’t work. And this has put Mrs. Donner in a bad situation. You see, she needs a job in order to make sure she and her baby have a place to live.”
“What’s a job?”
“A job is what an adult does to make money.”
“So you’re giving her money?”
“No. I’m giving her a place to sleep.”
“Where?”
He hesitated for a moment. “She and Luke will be staying in your mother’s bedroom.”
“But Ma’s going to come back. You can’t give her Ma’s bedroom. She needs to sleep on the couch in the parlor.”
“Emily, she’ll be in your mother’s bedroom.” When Emily opened her mouth, he gave her a warning look. “I made up my mind.”
Emily turned her piercing eyes to Sarah. “Ma’s coming back. You can’t stay here once she returns.”
“That’s up to me to decide. Now, apologize to Mrs. Donner.”
“But she and Ma can’t sleep in the same bed.”
“Emily, apologize to her.”
Her lip set in a firm line, Emily muttered, “I’m sorry,” before she carefully bit off another piece of the biscuit.
Sarah looked at Neil. His dark brown hair was lighter than Emily’s black curls. Cassie had black hair, she recalled. Neil’s skin wasn’t as fair as Emily’s. She searched for a similarity between them but found none. They didn’t have any facial features in common, though both were very attractive. Emily was, no doubt, going to have men falling all over themselves to court her. Neil was startlingly handsome. When he entered a room, a woman couldn’t help but take a second look in his direction.
Neil looked at Sarah, and she quickly looked down, feeling burned from making eye contact with him. Surely, he didn’t know what she had been thinking. He couldn’t read minds. Could he?
Neil sighed. “Apparently, it’ll take time for us to get used to each other.” He finished the rest of his biscuit. “What we need to do is focus on what we’re doing now, and that is eating this meal. Mrs. Donner, you did an excellent job. Old Corbin doesn’t do as well as you. I think we’ll finally get some meat on my daughter’s bones.”
Sarah’s face flushed with pleasure at the compliment. “Thank you, Mr. Craftsman.”
He motioned to her plate of food that she’d hardly touched. “Aren’t you going to keep eating? You must be starving.”
“Oh. Yes.” She cleared her throat and picked up her spoon.
The rest of the meal continued on in an uncomfortable silence. Though Sarah ate the meal, she didn’t taste it. Her thoughts kept drifting to Emily who kept darting worried glances in her direction. The girl must’ve feared that Sarah was there to take her mother’s place. Sarah wanted to assure Emily that such a thing was not going to happen but knew it wasn’t the time or place for that conversation. So she ate, forcing herself to swallow the food, and saying a silent prayer of thanks when the meal was over.
Chapter Six
Neil tucked Emily in bed, surprised that Sarah had cleaned up his daughter’s bedroom. Sarah had collected the toys and put them in the small toy box at the foot of the bed. The rug had been beaten so that dirt no longer clung to it. The dresser had been dusted. The hardwood floor had been swept. He didn’t even want to think of how she managed to clean the room after such an exhausting day. She had to be tired. The events of the day had worn him out, and he didn’t do nearly as much as Sarah had.
Yawning, he sat on the edge of Emily’s bed and handed her the doll.
She looked up at him with imploring eyes. “Pa?”
“What, Em?”
She lowered her voice. “Mrs. Donner’s not really going to take Ma’s place, is she?”
This was a conversation that was long overdue, and as much as he wanted to put it off another day, he knew he couldn’t. “Honey, your mother’s not coming back.”
She gasped and sat up, the blanket falling off her shoulders. “No. You said she was coming back on the day she left.”
“I said that I hoped she was coming back.” And he had hoped for Cassie to return, not for his sake but for Emily’s. However, it had been nine months and she hadn’t contacted Emily. He doubted Cassie even gave thought to her only child, and it was time for Emily to mourn the loss of her mother, though it grieved him to make her sad. He chose his words with great care before he spoke. “I know that your mother and I are the only two people you know who’s had a divorce, and that being the case, you don’t fully understand what it means. You think it means that your
mother has to be gone for awhile.”
She nodded, clutching her doll to her chest. She didn’t say anything but he recognized the uncertainty in her eyes.
“Well, a divorce means that your mother and I are no longer married. We have agreed to live our lives apart from each other forever.”
Her lower lip trembled, and he wanted to take those words back, to reassure her that her fantasy of having Cassie back would come true. But if he did that, he would be cruel, for sooner or later, she’d have to discover the truth and how much more pain would she endure knowing he lied to her on top of everything else that had happened to her? He rubbed his eyes. He had already lied to her in not telling her that her mother married another man.
“She has to come back, Pa,” Emily whispered. “She’s just waiting for me to grow up. Then I won’t be in her way.”
His head snapped up and he stared at her. “What are you talking about?”
She looked down at her doll and twirled its hair with her fingers. “It’s my fault she left. She often said that I was too young to be of any use to her. She said that when I got older and acted like an adult, then I wouldn’t give her headaches anymore.”
Clenching his hands together, he reined his anger in so he wouldn’t yell. “She said that to you?”
“And I’ve been good, haven’t I, Pa? I try not to spill any crumbs on the table when I eat, and I remember to put the napkin on my lap. I use utensils to eat too. I try not to run through the house or be too loud. Ma liked it quiet and clean.” Her eyes grew wide. “Oh, I did almost wake the baby earlier, didn’t I? Maybe I’m not old enough yet.”
Adrenaline shot through him, making him want to pound his fist through the wall. Instead, he took Emily into his arms and held her tightly. “Now I want you to listen to me. There was nothing you did to make your mother leave. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
His Redeeming Bride Page 5