She shook her head. “Emily wanted to help me make supper so I went to change into this dress. While I was gone, she got the flour off the shelf, and Luke dragged the chair across the room. Then he got up on the table and spilled the flour everywhere. I came down in time to see Emily trying to pull him down to the floor, but I thought she was hurting him so I yelled at her and...” She brushed the tears from her eyes. “I put Luke in the chair and Emily was trying to help me clean this mess, but she was making it worse so I told her to stop.”
He rinsed the rag in the bucket next to her and waited for her to continue.
“I feel awful, Neil. She kept apologizing, but all I did was yell at her.”
Taking her in his arms, he let her cry on his shoulder, glad that Luke had calmed down. It was hard to concentrate with him bellowing. Rubbing her back with one hand, he softly replied, “I understand, Sarah. It’s all right.”
“No. It’s not.”
“You’re not perfect, and being a parent isn’t easy. We all have moments of weakness.”
“Sometimes I feel like the worse parent who ever lived.”
He chuckled. “I’ve felt that way too. It’s normal.”
She took a deep, shaky breath, settling in his arms. “Do you think she’ll forgive me?”
“Yes.”
Pulling away from him, she studied the kitchen. “I can’t clean this until I apologize to her.”
“I’ll clean this up, and I’ll clean Luke. I believe Emily went to that tree by the river.”
She kissed him. “Thank you, Neil.”
He watched her as she stood up and carefully stepped over the mess on the floor so she could leave the house. Despite the misfortune that occurred, it warmed his heart that she cared enough about Emily to talk to her.
Sarah approached Emily and Gwen who talked in hushed tones beneath the tree. The breeze swirled the red and yellow leaves around them, though they seemed not to notice the colorful dance. Instead, Gwen had her head bowed as she held the girl close to her, and despite the low tone the woman used, Sarah noted the tenderness in it.
Sarah waited until they noticed her before she spoke. “May I talk to Emily?”
Emily shook her head, her eyes filling with tears again, but Gwen patted her shoulder. “You have nothing to worry about, sweetheart.” The woman stood up and brushed the blades of grass off her skirt. As she passed Sarah, she stopped for a moment, rested a hand on her arm, and whispered, “Cassie was always rough with her. She doesn’t know anything but fear when it comes to a mother being upset.”
The words pierced Sarah’s heart. Closing her eyes for a brief moment, she nodded her understanding and waited for the woman to depart before stepping toward the girl.
Emily jumped up. “Please don’t go away! I promise I won’t make another mess. I’ll be a good girl!”
Sarah embraced the child. “Emily, I’m not leaving, and I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”
Emily pulled back and stared at her with a bewildered expression on her face. “You’re telling me you’re sorry?”
“Yes. I was wrong to yell at you.”
“But I made a mess.”
Sighing, Sarah clasped the girl’s hands in hers. “That’s all it was, a mess. And it was an accident. I know Luke tipped the canister over and I know you would never hurt him. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you.”
“Really?”
She smiled as she brushed the hair out of the girl’s eyes. “Yes. Oh, Emily, I love you.”
Emily blinked away the remaining tears in her eyes and gave her a wide grin. “I love you too, Ma, and I forgive you.”
Sarah hugged her tightly to her bosom. “There’s nothing you can do to make me stop loving you. I hope you will learn that.”
“I’m glad you’re here. You’ve made Pa happy.”
“He’s made me happy too, and you have also made me happy. Luke has a wonderful sister to take care of him.” Feeling better, Sarah held her hand to Emily. “I think we’re both a mess. Your father is cleaning the kitchen and Luke. Why don’t we get cleaned up before we make supper?”
Emily tilted her head up, her eyes squinting because of the sun. “You’ll still let me help you?”
“Of course. A mother couldn’t ask for a better helper.”
Nodding, Emily took her hand. “Will we make steak and soup again? It’s Pa’s favorite meal.”
“What about some brown sugar candy for dessert?”
“Yes, he’d like that too.”
She raised an eyebrow. “And you?”
“Yes,” the girl confessed. “I’d also like it.”
“Then we should definitely make it.”
As they walked to the river to wash up, Emily chatted about the fall weather and how she loved the changing colors of the leaves. Sarah listened, grateful that children were more forgiving than some adults she knew.
***
A week before Christmas, Sarah took Emily and Luke to visit Gwen. Then she left to go to the doctor. Her suspicions proved true. She was expecting. She hadn’t expected to get in the family way, at least not so soon. After all, it had taken her ten years to conceive Luke. She hadn’t wished to bring Neil along, though he offered to drive the buggy. Instead, she opted to have Jacob do it. Jacob had business to tend to in town for his wife anyway, so it worked out.
Her apprehension grew as Jacob brought her and the children closer to home. Try as she might, she couldn’t sit still, and Luke’s fidgeting didn’t help. What would Neil think? Jim’s reaction flashed through her mind. She recalled how disappointed she was when he didn’t show any interest in the child she carried. She couldn’t remember a time when she felt more alone.
Neil will be happy. He loves children. Surely, this will be a blessing. As much as she tried to convince herself, she couldn’t quite believe it, so it was with a heavy heart that she accepted Neil’s hand as he helped her down from the buggy.
“Didn’t you go to the mercantile?” he asked, searching the buggy.
“Oh.” She forgot all about picking up more cloth to sew.
Jacob glanced her way but didn’t say anything. She didn’t think he saw her slip into the doctor’s office, but he must be wondering where she went.
“Help me down, Pa,” Emily insisted.
He held his arms out to her and she jumped into them.
Sarah took Luke who was trying to crawl out of the buggy. “Neil, can I talk to you, in private?” she asked, her voice uncertain.
His eyebrows furrowed, but he nodded and joined her and the children in the walk to their house. Once he shut the kitchen door, she rushed to put Luke down for a nap while Emily went to her room to play.
Neil stood in Luke’s room, watching as she tucked the blanket around her son. Luke smiled at her and kicked at his blanket, so she sighed and handed him a toy to play with until he fell asleep. Realizing she couldn’t delay the moment any longer, she led Neil to the kitchen.
“What is it?” Neil asked, his expression serious as he stood in front of her by the table.
Her stomach twisted into a tight knot. He’s not Jim. He’s not Jim.
“Sarah, is something wrong?”
She gripped the back of a chair and braced for an unpleasant reaction. “I’m fine. I went to the doctor and found out that I’m expecting.”
The first thing she noticed was that he looked relieved. Then a smile lit up his face. “Sarah, that’s great.”
Startled, she failed to respond when he kissed her.
He cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips to her forehead. “You had me worried. I feared you were sick. You haven’t had much of an appetite lately. I had no idea you were in the family way. I can’t think of a better Christmas present than knowing we created a child together.”
“You’re pleased?” she whispered, hardly believing her ears.
“Very much so.”
She exhaled and released her death grip on the chair. “I’m glad.”
After he gave her another kiss, he shouted for Emily to come downstairs. “We have to tell her the good news!”
Once Emily bounded down the steps and settled her feet on the kitchen floor, he put his arm around her shoulders and said, “You know that thing you wanted for Christmas?”
She nodded.
“Well, you got your wish. Now, I can’t guarantee you that you’ll have a sister, but we’re going to try our best to give you one.”
“You two have been talking about another baby?” Sarah asked, curious as to what else they talked about when she wasn’t around.
“Luke is a boy,” Emily told her in a matter-of-fact tone. “I would like a baby girl so I can put her in dresses and decorate her hair.”
Neil patted her on the shoulder. “Em, if we don’t have a girl this time, we’ll try next time.”
Sarah’s heart leapt at the thought of having more than one child with Neil. She had dreamt of a house full of children when she was a child, but Jim hadn’t wanted more than one. Once she expected Luke, he made it clear that they wouldn’t engage in lovemaking again since the purpose of doing it had been accomplished.
“How long will it take until I find out if I’ll have a sister or a brother?” Emily wondered.
Neil looked Sarah’s way, the same question in his eyes.
Sarah cleared her throat, forcing her thoughts back to the conversation at hand. “The baby should be here in late July.”
“Good. I will be out of school so I can help when the baby is born,” Emily cheered.
Neil laughed. “You sure can.”
“You’ll be an excellent helper too,” Sarah added, finally allowing their enthusiasm to infect her.
Suddenly, expecting a baby was something she could enjoy. Her heart swelled with hope and anticipation for the year ahead.
Chapter Nineteen
In the second week of May, Neil kept the bedroom window open to alleviate Sarah’s discomfort as she approached the seventh month into her pregnancy. He woke before dawn that morning, aware of the breeze floating into the room, and though he had his covers up to his neck, he shivered. Glancing at a sleeping Sarah, he saw that she had kicked her covers off in the middle of the night. He closed the gap between them, pressed his chest against her back, and let her body heat warm him up.
He lifted his head off the pillow and gazed at her in the waning moonlight. She looked peaceful. Her eyes were closed, and her mouth was slightly open, as if inviting him to kiss her. He settled his head back onto the pillow, closing his eyes and enjoying the feel of her firm round behind as it cushioned his erection. How nice it was to lay with a woman in bed, knowing she wanted to be there, knowing they frequently came together to enjoy the pleasures of the flesh.
He let his hand drift to her growing belly. She turned to him in her sleep so he slipped his arms around her, enjoying the light lavender scent from the shampoo she used to wash her long hair. She didn’t often wear her hair down, saying her tangles were horrible to comb through, but when she did, he took the time to admire the golden tresses that fell softly against her fair complexion.
He felt a jab from her abdomen and grinned at the life moving in her womb. The life he helped to create. His heart swelled with love and pride for his unborn child. Love for Emily and Luke came naturally to him and didn’t detract from his feelings for this one. Elizabeth if she’s a girl or Joseph if he’s a boy. Neil thought to the many nights Sarah kept him up, wanting to pick the right name for the baby, and they finally agreed on those two. He had to admit he didn’t mind it when she kept him up, for they usually ended up making love and he hadn’t thought intimacy could come with the joy he found in bed with her.
Recalling those nights only served to whet his appetite for her. He wondered if she would be in the mood for some fun before the day officially started. Running his hands along her back and caressing her bottom, he pressed his lips to the top of her head. She sighed and snuggled against him, her curves further arousing him.
He took a good look at her, realizing she still slept, and lost heart. Being with child couldn’t be easy on a woman, and she worked hard. She needed her rest more than he needed to make love at that moment. Ignoring the insistent throbbing of his erection, he focused on the peace of being with her. Soon daylight would come and with it the day’s work. Work. Yes, he would focus on that until it was time to get out of bed.
“Why did you stop?” came a whisper.
Opening his eyes, he pulled away from her and gave her a good look. “You’re awake?”
She kept her eyes closed but smiled. “I felt hot.”
He chuckled. “That was my fault. I’m afraid I used you to get warm.”
Her eyelids fluttered open and he noted the tenderness in them. “I’m sorry, Neil. I know it’s still chilly at night. I will have to bring another blanket in for you.”
He graced her cheek with a quick kiss. “Don’t be sorry. I don’t mind a little chill. The important thing is that you’re comfortable.”
Eyes twinkling, she rolled away from him and began to unbutton her nightgown. “I am terribly hot. I think I’ll have to take this off.”
Interest peaked, he sat up in bed. “Well, then I should help you with that.” Taking her hands, he helped her sit up before he pulled the light material over her head and threw it aside, not caring where it landed. He shrugged out of his night clothes, glad to be rid of the confining cotton material. He took a moment to appreciate her naked form, once again feeling a sense of pride that she carried his child.
“You are a lovely sight, Mrs. Craftsman,” he whispered, his voice husky.
A mischievous grin crossed her face as she reached forward to caress his arousal. A tingling sensation coursed through him. He groaned his appreciation and leaned forward so he could kiss her. Her lips were soft, and they parted for him, a sign he recognized as her invitation. He gladly accepted it, taking his time to taste her lips before he sampled the taste of her tongue. His hands cupped her sensitive breasts, careful not to cause discomfort. He caressed them, marveling at their softness and the pink nipples that hardened from his attention.
She let out a sigh and slid her hand down the full length of the male part of him that enjoyed her attention. She wrapped her hand around him and squeezed. Breathing heavily, his mouth left hers to travel down the length of her neck. She titled her head to grant him better access, moving her hand in an up and down motion that she had mastered.
“Oh Sarah, you make me ache for you.”
A seductive chuckle left her throat. “You must be telling me the truth. You’re as hard as a rock.”
“You’re a wicked woman,” he teased. “But I love it, so don’t change.”
“Are you going to keep talking or are you going to lay back?”
He raised an eyebrow as he obeyed her. “Want to be on top this time?”
“In a moment.”
Her eyes met his and he caught the naughty gleam in them. His pulse quickened, knowing where her thoughts were going. She left a trail of kisses down his chest, and still, she went lower. She waited, teasing him with the feathery touch of her fingers. He watched as she flicked her tongue along him. He groaned, half in agony and half in pleasure.
She glanced up at him and gave him a knowing smile. “Eager for me, are you?”
He moaned. “You are a cruel woman to tease a man like this.”
“It serves you right for teasing me last night.”
A smile formed on his lips. He loved it when she paid him back, and he loved it even more that she finally felt comfortable enough with his body to fully enjoy it. She took him into her mouth and he leaned back and closed his eyes, giving himself to the rush of pleasant sensations that spread through him. She took her time, tasting him and bringing him closer to the peak.
“Sarah,” he whispered, knowing he was right on the edge of his release. “Straddle me, sweetheart.”
She rose from him and settled over him. She lowered her body onto his but didn’t t
ake him into her. Instead, she pressed her woman’s flesh against his erection. He grabbed her hips and moaned. She was wet and warm. Ready for him.
Work. Cattle. Ropes. Horses. The images reined in his throbbing desire, granting him time to pleasure her. He wouldn’t allow his release until she had hers.
She bent forward so that he could kiss her, and he slid his hands up to her breasts so he could enjoy their fullness. Moaning, she deepened their kiss, opening her lips to accept his tongue as it interlaced with hers. Then she straightened her back.
Careful to not hold her too close, he slid his hand down her belly and lower still until he found the sensitive nub to caress. She let out a low groan. “Oh Neil, don’t stop.”
He shifted so he could bring himself into her. As she moved her hips, he watched her in the first lights of the morning, her back arched and her breasts displayed before him—a sight he never tired of. Her response to him only thickened his arousal but he held off, focusing on her and how wonderful it was that she not only participated in bed with him but was eager for him.
Her breathing came heavy and her tightening around him notified him that she was on the edge of the peak. Knowing she most enjoyed it when he pressed deeper into her while she had an orgasm, he did just that and was rewarded with a gasp as she let go. He stilled his movements, allowing her to take her fill of pleasure. Her eyes closed, her lips swollen from their kisses, her cheeks flushed, her breasts shuddering. Oh, she was a beautiful sight. The kind of sight that made a man grateful to be a lover.
When she rocked her hips, he closed his eyes and gave into his need. His body shuddered beneath her as his release came. If there was a better experience in this life, he couldn’t think of what it might be. His breathing still heavy, he opened his eyes and smiled at her.
She smiled back and leaned down to kiss him, her tongue playfully tracing his lips. He sighed and tasted her once more before she got off of him and settled beside him, snuggling against him in his arms. When he gained enough coherence, he brought his hand to her belly, hoping he hadn’t disturbed his child, but apparently he had for a good kick met his hand.
His Redeeming Bride Page 19