by KB Winters
I studied him, looking for signs that he was still lying to me. His eyes were dark in the dim parking lot lights, but what he was saying felt genuine. “I won’t tell Tori.”
“So, when you saw me last night, obviously I couldn’t come over and explain the whole thing. I know Tori was probably upset when Bennett left town without saying goodbye.”
I nodded. “All right. Is that it, then?”
“Everlie, I’m sorry I didn’t show up. I wanted to be there, you have no idea how much I wanted to see you. Can you please give me another chance? It looks like I’m here for a few more days.”
After a long, stretched out minute, I shook my head. “I’m sorry too, Ryker. But no. This whole thing is too complicated and crazy. I really don’t want to get involved. Besides, I live here—you live in Oklahoma. So, what’s the point? You’ll leave sooner or later and then what? Where would that leave us?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “I just know the here and now—and right now—I want to spend more time with you.”
His words were so sincere, and sweet, that my heart was being tugged in his direction—but just as quickly—reeled back in, remembering how hurt I’d been when he hadn’t shown up. I had dreams, goals and plans—all of which could all too easily be thrown off track by some stupid heartbreak. “I’m sorry, Ryker. I can’t. Listen, I’ve thought a lot about this, and it’s for the best that we end things now.”
Ryker stared at me, unblinking, and then gave a slight nod. “All right, Everlie. I really wish your answer was different, but I said I’d leave you alone if you heard me out, so I’ll hold to that. I think you’re an amazing woman, and I wish you nothing but the best.”
He stepped in and pressed a lingering kiss to my cheek, and it took everything to keep from melting into his familiar warmth and seductive scent. When he backed up a step, he brushed a finger down the cheek he’d just kissed. “Goodbye, Everlie.”
I watched after him as he crossed the lot to where he’d parked his rental car. He waved as he got behind the wheel and then sped off into the night. My eyes lingered on the trail he’d taken, wondering if it was truly the last time I’d see him, and at that thought—I wondered why I felt so freaking sad if it was.
Chapter Three
Ryker
The hotel room door slammed shut at the same time my cell phone started buzzing in my pocket. I knew who was calling before I even reached for the phone. I yanked it out of my jeans, clicked the call on and barked, “What do you want?”
“Fuck, dude. Rough day?” Bennett’s voice replied, having the audacity to sound put out.
“In fact, it was. Not surprisingly, there have been a lot of those since you got me into all this shit!” I roared, stalking to the window and looking out at the Strip below.
Bennett laughed. “This isn’t about me, it’s about that girl.”
My free hand curled into a tight fist. If Bennett had been standing in the room with me, there would’ve been a good chance it’d be flying at his jaw right now. “Fuck you.” I growled and turned away from the sparkling lights and buzz of the city below. I wouldn’t enjoy any of it. I’d be forced to hole up in the hotel for the rest of the night.
“What happened?” Bennett asked. His voice had lost all amusement. “Come on. Get it out of your system.”
I sank down onto the leather couch, trying to shove aside the memory of Everlie sitting there what was beginning to feel like months ago. “I was supposed to go out with her last night,” I started.
“After she cock blocked you?” Bennett interrupted.
I jolted up from the couch and began pacing again. “You know what, never mind. I’m done talking about it. Tell me what the fuck’s going on with the job.”
“No, no, come on, don’t be like that, man.”
I groaned and raked my free hand through my hair, tugging at the roots. It was longer than I normally wore it, and I still wasn’t used to the way it felt under my fingers. “I had to go fucking talk to Crystal, or Laura, whatever the fuck you call her, and she told me about the phone shit and took it before I had a chance to save any information. So, after that shit storm, I couldn’t contact Everlie and tell her what was holding me up. I couldn’t go to her place cause I didn’t have the text with the address anymore, so yeah, not cool. Then, when I’m talking with Crystal-slash-Laura, Tori and Everlie drive by in a cab. So, there I am, standing there, talking to some fuckin’ hooker. Which, by the way…why does she have to be a hooker? I mean, fuck, that’s so cliché, don’t you think?”
Bennett started laughing. “Oh shit, dude. What did Tori do? That girl’s a fuckin’ wildcat!”
I gave a hollow laugh in response. “Yeah, she rolled down her window and cussed me out so loud the whole street could hear her hollering. Shit…” I scrubbed my hand down my face, replaying the whole scene. When had my life turned into such a disaster? There was a time—not that long ago—when I’d had my shit together.
“That’s fucking hilarious!” Bennet laughed “Sorry. So what did Crystal say?”
“She reminded me we’re working a job and didn’t need any fucking distractions.” Bennett just laughed harder. “I don’t know what the fuck you think is so funny, Bennett. It’s been a nightmare,” I concluded, sinking back onto the couch, too tired to keep up the pacing. “This is so fucked up on so many levels.”
“I know, I know. I promise I’ll make it up to you when we’re back in Oklahoma. I’ll be your undeterred wing-man everywhere we go and help you get so much pussy you won’t even remember Everlie’s name,” Bennett assured me.
“That’s not the point, fuckwad! This isn’t about some easy score. You and I both know I could go downstairs right now, snap my fingers at the first skirt I see, and have her screaming my name minutes later. This isn’t about getting laid, Bennett. I know, for you that’s hard to imagine. I actually—” I paused, knowing my argument was to the wrong audience. “You know what, fuck it. Never mind. You don’t get it. I don’t need your help with women, all right?”
“All right, all right. Don’t be such a dick. I know you think this is all my fault, but let me remind you— you signed the same fucking dotted line that I did.” Bennett’s voice was low, warning me not to push him.
“Because this is what you wanted to do!”
“Fuck that! You did this for you. You knew you were gonna be bored as fuck once we were stateside. This wasn’t some crackpot idea I came up with. Just because you’re miserable now, doesn’t mean you can pin it all on me.”
“Figure your shit out,” I said, gritting my teeth. “I need to get out of this fuckin’ city.”
Chapter Four
Everlie
With each passing day, my worry and stress over Ryker lessened, and although there was still a hint of curiosity in the back of my mind over what really had happened—I remained confident in my decision to end things before they went any further and figured he was long gone—back to Oklahoma and his Navy life. My life fell back into its normal rhythms, teaching five days a week, auditioning on my days off, and trying to keep Tori off my back about how long it’d been since I’d had sex. Ever since I’d told her it had been years since the first—and last—time I’d slept with a man, she’d taken her prodding into my social life to an all new extreme.
It had been about two weeks since the last time I’d seen Ryker, and Tori was working overtime trying to get me to go out clubbing with her.
“But, Ev, it’s been forever since we did anything fun!” Tori whined, following me into the kitchen. I’d just gotten home from work ten minutes before, and was trying to make a throw-together dinner, and dodge Tori’s begging.
“Tor, we just went to dinner last night. That was fun!”
She frowned at me. “Ev, it was a fuckin’ burger joint.”
“They had a bar,” I protested. I side stepped the still-frowning Tori, and made my way to the microwave with the sad little frozen burrito I’d wrapped in a paper towel.
“Yo
u’re seriously impossible. You’d really rather stay here and eat warmed up cardboard slathered in salsa, alone, than go out and meet cool, new, interesting people?”
I leaned against the counter and folded my arms. “You mean a man. A cool, new, interesting man.”
“Or woman,” she shrugged. “Whatever your flavor is tonight.”
I rolled my eyes and turned around to watch the countdown timer on the microwave. “Pass.”
“Ev! I can’t leave you like this,” she continued.
I sighed. “Tori, I’m fine. You’ll be fine. I can’t go out tonight, even if I wanted to—which, for the record, I don’t—I have an audition bright and early tomorrow. I had to squeeze it in before work. So, sorry. Not gonna happen.”
“Boo hiss.” Tori stalked out of the kitchen as my timer went off, muttering under her breath.
I retrieved my dinner and took it to the couch and was flipping through the channels when Tori made her grand entrance, wearing a cut out dress that was sure to catch the eye of any man—or woman—she wanted for the night. She wished me luck on the audition on her way out and told me to call her if I changed my mind.
I settled into the couch and was halfway through my meal when my cell phone vibrated on the table. I leaned forward, and for some reason, Ryker’s face flashed through my mind before I checked the caller ID and found it was my mother. I shook off the clinging image and answered the phone. “Hi, Mama.”
“Darlin’! I was afraid you’d be too busy for your mama,” she replied, laying her country twang on thick. “Out there in the big, flashy city!”
Why did I answer? I wondered, setting down the remainder of my burrito. “How are you?”
“Oh, I’m wonderful! Jerry’s at a golfing event tonight, so I thought I’d catch up on some social calls and you were at the top of my list!”
“How nice,” I said, my voice flat.
“Yes, yes, it’s all going very well. But, tell me about you? How’s life?”
I sighed. My mother called every few weeks to check up on me, and while the calls themselves weren’t hostile or unfriendly, they were never pleasant experiences. Talking to my mother was like catching up with an extended family member, or general acquaintance. Our relationship was nothing like most mother-daughter relationships I’d witnessed. I grew up without a father—my mother refused to talk about him—and when I was in high school she’d started dating Jerry, a real piece of trash that somehow hornswaggled her into marrying him around the time I graduated. I’d left home on my eighteenth birthday because I couldn’t stand to be a part of their fake happy life for one more minute.
“I’m fine, Mama, just busy teaching like always. I have an audition tomorrow for the lead role in a Vegas show. If I get it, I’d have to quit teaching, or at least take a leave of absence, but it could be the type of role that could launch my whole career here.”
“Well that’s wonderful, darlin’! I’ll pray on that!” When she spoke that way, it reminded me of a bad parody of Southern women. It wasn’t who my mother was—not even close.
She prattled on and on for another hour about her whole life, describing every event in great detail, and I nodded along, adding in an affirmative statement as needed to keep her going while I ate the rest of my dinner and watched the TV on mute. When she wound down, she added a, “Well, darlin’ I love you, and you know Jerry sends his love too.”
Gag.
“Isn’t that just the sweetest,” I replied, not bothering to conceal my sarcastic edge.
“Now, now, darlin’, you know Jerry cares about you,” my mother scolded.
I swallowed my next response and wrapped up the call as quickly as possible. Blowing out a frustrated puff of air as soon as I set the phone down. I wasn’t sure why I ever expected things to change. The day she’d married Jerry, she’d made her stance as clear as crystal. I’d flat out told her that I’d leave if she went through with the marriage, and she hadn’t batted an eye. All she cared about was having money in her bank account and someone to show off to all of the high society friends she worked so hard to impress.
For whatever reason, the whole thing left me rattled, and my mind drifted to thinking about Ryker. The words I’d said to him at our final meeting had been true—there was no future for two people like us. He was in the Navy and in between missions and deployments, probably moved around all the time. I was a dancer, and it was my dream to headline in a big show, or even a touring show, which would require flexibility and potentially moving as well. There was no way we could have found a way to compromise. The odds would have been stacked against us from day one, and we’d spend months—or possibly years—beating our heads against a wall trying to hold onto each other.
I nodded to myself, affirming my decision, but couldn’t shake off the pit in my stomach feeling that twisted inside me as I remembered the way he’d made me feel. He was the first man who had ever come along to make me feel so safe and protected—and cherished. As I remembered it all, sorting through each memory, I was still bent on figuring out the truth about him. In the end, I decided I was just lonely. I was a definite homebody personality, living in one of the world’s flashiest cities. I was happy to have a great friend and roommate, but Tori and I spent most of our time apart, with different work schedules, and lifestyles. Maybe I was ready to start dating. Maybe the entire reason I’d met Ryker was to see there was something missing from my life.
My thoughts blurred together, and eventually I mustered the energy to push off the couch and went down the hall to my bedroom.
* * * *
“So? How’d it go?” Tori asked when she got home from work the next evening.
I was lounged on the couch, flicking through a dating app, continuing my mental debate from the night before. I was flirting with the idea of trying online dating while fighting the exhaustion of my long day. At the sound of Tori’s voice, I shoved the phone underneath me, not wanting her to egg me on. I looked up at her, my mind foggy and slow.
“The audition?” She prompted. “How’d it go?”
“Oh, right! Gosh…I’m half asleep over here. The audition went really well,” I replied, feeling a smile melt on my face. Truthfully, it had gone better than I’d ever dreamed. I’d been the third audition of the morning, and had seen two of my competitors leaving as I was going in. I knew them by reputation, and they were good dancers, but I knew I was better, and it gave me a last minute confidence boost that had calmed my jitters and carried me through my performance. It had taken a lot of debate to choose the piece, and in the end, I’d settled on the dance that I’d performed for Ryker, and remembering that night lent an extra layer of depth to each movement. When the song had concluded, and I’d opened my eyes, there were more than a few stunned faces staring back at me from the panel of casting agents.
“Do you think you’ll get it?” Tori asked, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. She was still dressed in her burlesque costume, a crimson red and black number that sent her breasts sky high and created a sharp hourglass silhouette. I didn’t know how she could breathe in it sitting down.
“I don’t know,” I replied. I didn’t want to jinx anything, but couldn’t hold back my joy and the smile on my lips spread even wider.
Tori sensed my real answer and bounced in her seat. “Woohoo! Good for you, Ev! I’m so excited to see what happens next. All good things, I’m sure!”
“Thanks, Tor.” I grabbed my phone, remembering what was popped up on the screen and kept it clutched in my hand. “In other news, my mother called tonight.”
Tori pulled a face, her lip curled back. “What about?”
“Oh, you know, the usual, how fabulous her life is, how much of a sugar plum her dear husband is, standard shit, I guess.”
Tori rolled her eyes. I’d told her all about my family history, and she’d also met my mother on the one occasion when she’d come out to visit, a disaster filled weekend of me trying to shield Tori from my mother’s running commentary on everything f
rom her profession to her language, and general life choices. At the end of the visit, my mother had begged me to come home, but if I wouldn’t do that, to at least find a more “suitable companion” as a roommate.
“No offense, Ev, but that woman has some serious issues,” she concluded.
“Preachin’ to the choir,” I added, rolling my eyes.
Tori looked down at the fringe on her corset, toying with it absent-mindedly. When she looked back up at me, there was a question etched in her face. “Hey, listen, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“What is it?” I asked, alarms ringing in my mind. Tori was rarely serious, so whenever she got quiet and shy, it was a red flag that something was wrong.
“Have you heard from Ryker? Or Bennett?”
Her question shocked me and for a moment—I wasn’t sure how to respond. I hadn’t told her about Ryker showing up at the ballet studio, or anything about what he’d told me about Bennett. I’d promised him I wouldn’t tell her anything about it, and although now it hardly seemed like it would matter, I wanted to keep my promise.
“No, Tor, I haven’t,” I answered. I hated lying to her, and immediately wanted to spill everything I knew, but she nodded and pushed off the couch before I could decide.
“I didn’t think so, but thought I’d ask. I don’t know why it bugs me, but it’s just so weird, you know? Like Bennett just vanished without a word, and then Ryker disappeared a day after taking you on this fantasy dream date. It just doesn’t make sense. I guess that’s why it’s stuck in my head.”
I bit my lip, wanting to ask if maybe there was another piece to it, maybe the reason she was still hung up on it was because she actually had developed feelings for Bennett and maybe he’d broken past the walls she set out for those she truly intended to just be flings.