“That’s what we decided?” Rock asked. “When?”
“When you took everything the wrong way and ran out on me,” she said. “When I realized this town is too painful for you, and I can’t just keep waiting to see you once a year. Not when there are other men who could make me happy.”
“I said we could work something out,” he said.
“I’m not letting you break my heart, Rock Brolin,” she said firmly, leading the way down the trail. “I already told you I can’t just sit here waiting. And I’m not leaving my dad, and I’m not leaving here. I love it.”
“What about half and half?” he asked. “That would be fair, wouldn’t it?”
“No,” she said. “Because the half of the time we’d be in your world, it would be filled with danger. And I could lose you. So unless you are willing to do something a little safer…”
He winced as she trailed off. He couldn’t imagine a normal life outside Bear Canyon any more than he could imagine staying here. He needed the danger, the constant distraction.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Then leave Joe and me alone,” she said. “You and I had our chance.” She rubbed her arms, and Rock removed his jacket to place it around her shoulders. She flushed, loving his musky scent that fell over her.
He wrapped his arms around her, warming her for a moment, then stepped back. His short, dark hair was such a contrast to his gray eyes.
Just like his jealous rages were a contrast to how caring he could be.
And what a storm he could be in the bedroom.
How would someone like Joe ever hold a candle to that?
By not ever leaving and hurting her, she supposed. She could give up a little passion for safety if she had to.
“Do you even like him?” Rock asked as they began moving again.
“I think so,” she said. “I only got to see him today, and you kind of ruined it.”
Rock put his hands behind his head. “I don’t think it’s really fair to the guy that you’re just using him to get over me.”
She shoved him playfully. “I’m not. I really do want to get over you. For both of our sakes. So I’m not here just pining.”
“I like you pining,” he grumped, making her smile.
“Rock, it’s not working.”
He stopped in front of a tree and spun her around so her back was pinned to it. Then he came closer, his tall, strong body overwhelming her. “It was good last night, wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” she said breathily. “I suppose so.”
He leaned in closer, nuzzling her neck and sending a shockwave of pleasure down to her toes. Damn, his effect on her was nothing like Joe’s. Would she ever be able to feel something for anyone else?
His lips grazed her neck, trailing up to her ear and playing gently with her lobe. “Can he make you feel like this?”
She moaned and then cursed herself for falling into this again. She shoved him off and started walking, ignoring the way her legs suddenly felt weak and her heartbeat was racing. “That’s not all that’s important, Rock.”
Rock came after her, looking impatient. “What else is? Who else can make you feel like that, Ros?”
She stopped and extended a hand, pushing him back. When he tried to step forward, she shook her head. “Rock, yes, you make me feel like that. But you know what else you make me feel? Hopeless, like I’m always waiting to either hurt you or be abandoned. You said this town only brought you misery, and even if you didn’t mean it, I don’t want to be the one looking in your eyes when you finally do.” She shook her head. “If you stay, you’ll learn to hate me. If you leave, I’ll learn to hate you. Why don’t we cut this off while we still have a chance to be friends?”
He frowned, folding his arms, bunching tight muscles.
She shrugged out of his jacket, fighting back tears. It really was time to say good-bye to all thoughts of romance with him.
As much as it hurt.
She held out the jacket, and when he wouldn’t take it, she dropped it in the dirt.
“I can only be friends with you, Rock.” She took a couple steps back, making sure he didn’t follow. “I’ll send a note over about the fence. Please stay away from me and Joe. Please let me move on.”
He held up the file with a smirk, but his eyes were cold. “Hey, I have as much reason to be at the ranch as you do.”
She sighed. “You’re never going to give up, are you?”
His face was hard as he shook his head. “I don’t think I can.”
She turned away from him, tears falling freely. “I wish you would, Rock Brolin. We both need to move on.” But she didn’t let him see her face.
Wouldn’t let him see her frustration.
She just had to stay the path and not let Rock Brolin shake her.
She’d been interrupted before she and Joe could have a proper conversation, but tomorrow was a new day to try again.
8
After Rock made copies of the papers in the folder he’d been given, he headed back to talk to Francis and give him an update with lunch.
He’d noticed, if he showed up at the right times, Francis was happy to share whatever he had cooked, and since Rock was fairly incapable of making anything, that worked out nicely.
Sure enough, when he strode in the front door, the smell of pancakes wafted in the air, along with crispy bacon.
Francis was standing at the stove, turning knobs and moving between pans.
Rock sidled up and took a seat at the counter, and Francis served him a plate wordlessly.
He didn’t speak until he had his own plate and had turned off the stove.
“How did the work go over at Mort’s place?” he asked, looking at Rock knowingly. His frank blue eyes were sparkling. “Was Ros there?”
Rock shook his head. “She went up to see Joe, if you can believe it.”
Francis crunched on a piece of bacon thoughtfully. “Yeah, I can believe that. He’s a good guy.”
“Oh, great,” Rock said, rolling his eyes. “Glad everyone thinks so.”
“What do you think?” Francis asked.
“What?”
“I’m guessing the second you heard she was with him, you went storming up there like a stalker to split them up.”
Rock gritted his teeth together. “What makes you think that?”
Francis reached out and plucked something off Rock’s head. “You have hay in your hair.” He chucked it away. “Just a little bit.”
Rock ruffled his hair, disgusted. “Fine. I went up there. And I don’t know what to think about Joe yet. He wants my help with a project.”
“What kind of project?” Francis asked.
Rock pushed the files in his direction. “I’m not sure I’m the partner he’s looking for though. He wants someone who can do more supervision.”
“Right,” Francis said, flipping open the file and skimming it while eating his bacon. “And you can’t stay here.”
The way he said it was almost mocking, as if he didn’t really believe Rock’s reasons for leaving.
Then again, no one with a normal childhood could.
“A therapy camp?” Francis asked. “For troubled kids?”
“Interesting, right?” Rock asked.
“Ironic, I guess,” Francis said. “Bringing kids to heal here when it’s the place that ruined you.”
Rock’s expression went dark. “Excuse me? Just who is ruined?”
Francis slammed the file shut. “You heard me. At first, I was patient with your and your brothers’ reasons for wanting to leave here. I mean, Riker even stayed for a while but left for his mate. And Ryland, he’s making a name for himself out there. Really making his mark. But as far as I can tell, all you do out there is try to passive-aggressively kill yourself. And what’s your excuse? Child abuse.”
Rock frowned. “You don’t know anything about it.”
“I know enough to know Ros is an angel, and you’d be lucky to be with her. Yet instead, you g
o off doing things that could set you on fire. You purposely choose that over happiness, all because you can’t be in a certain geographical location. Yeah, I call that ruined.”
Rock stood up, holding his plate. He was tempted to smash it on the ground, but that wouldn’t solve any of what he was feeling. He set it back down and sat, feeling utterly lost.
He wanted to fight back, hit Francis, but Ros’s face, hurt and lost, came back to him.
For the first time, she really was trying to move on from him. For the first time, he’d pushed her into looking for someone else.
If he didn’t do something, he’d run her right into another man’s arms.
And the worst of it was Joe seemed to be a good man. Rock could usually justify interfering because she needed protecting. This time she didn’t.
He had no excuse for why she shouldn’t be with Joe, except for the fact that Rock wanted her for himself.
And couldn’t give her the life she wanted.
“I’m just saying,” Francis said. “If it were me and I had a chance with the girl of a lifetime, I’d try to figure out if there was some way I could get her. Even if that meant doing something I’d previously thought was impossible. Otherwise, you have to think about a future without her.”
Rock hated that.
“And if she’s with Joe, he’s a good guy and she’s gonna be happy. Without you. So you just think about what’s more painful. Staying in Bear Canyon or living outside of it and knowing the woman you love is in another man’s arms.”
Then Francis was standing, taking their plates over to the sink before he was even finished.
Rock rested his cheek on his hand. “Damn, Francis, when did you get so smart?”
“I’ve always been smart,” Francis replied tersely. “It’s just hard to get you Brolins to listen to me.”
“So what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to stay when my dad is waiting around every corner?”
Francis gave him a weary look. “I guess you have to figure out a way to realize that he’s not here anymore. And if you let him take your happiness away from you, he wins.” Then Francis shrugged and went back to work, leaving Rock alone with his folder and his thoughts.
He picked up the file and stared at it for a moment, heart pounding along with the ticking of the living room clock.
His mind wandered back to the night before. Ros in his arms, moaning, holding him. Those moments had been heaven. Was he really willing to give that all up?
If he wasn’t, then he needed to see if he could really stand to stay in Bear Canyon.
He took the file and went back to his room. He’d read up on the plans and do some research… and maybe do a few more chores on Francis’s list. Then check in with his brothers.
Then, for the first time in a long time, he would sleep here, in his childhood bedroom. His first chance to not run.
If he could do it, then maybe he would have a right to see Ros.
Ros was washing dishes, enjoying the quiet darkness in the house now that her father was asleep, when the phone rang.
She sighed, wishing she could have even a moment alone with her thoughts, and then reached for the receiver.
When Rock’s voice answered, she felt her heart drop into her stomach.
After today, his intrusion, his kisses, she wasn’t ready to talk to him again.
“Ros?” his voice was soft, weak. Nothing like the usual cocky, conceited tone he had normally.
She straightened up in alarm. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he said flatly, and she didn’t believe it for a second. “Just wanted to hear your voice.”
It wasn’t the first time he’d called late at night, when he was back for the Brawl. But usually he was drunk when that happened, and one of his brothers managed to get him off the phone before he could get too stupid.
“Rock,” she said. “What’s going on?”
“Are you really giving up on me?” he asked hoarsely. “You really want Joe?”
“I don’t know what I want,” she said, suddenly wishing she could see him. Something in his voice made her just want to hold him, no matter how impossible he was. “I’m just trying to do what’s right for both of us.”
“How can it be right when we aren’t together?” he asked.
Her heart felt squeezed, as if he were holding it in his hand, too tightly. “Rock, it’s been years. Why are you so insistent now?”
“Because I’ve had you,” he said. “I touched you. It opened up something inside me. I want you, Ros. I always have. I always will. If you tell me I can’t have you, I’m going to lose it. If you tell me there’s a chance, I’ll do anything.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t know any better than you do. I just know you’re miserable here.”
“Maybe I can try not to be,” he muttered. “I’ll be miserable if you end up with Joe.” He let out a sigh. “Maybe I was taking you for granted. I always knew you would be here. Waiting for me. So I could watch you. So I could come see you. So I could propose to you. Those aren’t empty promises,” he said. “Those are just the words of a heart too broken to follow through on them.”
“I know,” she said. “That’s why I’m trying to move on. For you as much as me.”
“But I’ll die if you’re with someone else.”
“Have you been drinking?” she asked. “You’re being overdramatic.”
“I don’t think so,” he said. “I tried to stay at my parents’. You know, in my bedroom. Haven’t tried to sleep here in a long time. I usually go to the woods. Less nightmares.”
She put a hand over her mouth in horror. “I didn’t know.”
“I know,” he said. “Not something I like to talk about. I usually run from this, Ros. I’m good at running. I’ve been doing it since I was old enough to leave this town. But I don’t care how bad it gets. I’m not running this time. So can you give me a chance?”
She swallowed. Was it really possible? “Don’t make me get my hopes up, Rock, if you’re just going to decide you have to run again.”
“I’m not going to run,” he said. “That’s why I’m facing up to this. Francis pointed out that my dad has been winning. I can’t let him anymore.”
“Rock, I don’t know if you should do this. What if it’s too much? What if you can’t handle it?”
“I won’t know until I try.”
She put a hand over her chest, where her heart was hammering painfully. After their other night together, she’d told herself not to hope for any more. But the thought of him staying, of him trying to work with her in a way he never had, made her body light up with hope again.
And that was risky.
“What do you want from me, Rock?” she asked.
“I just want a chance,” he said. “Watch me, and if you start to think I can do this, then come to me.”
“And in the meantime?”
“I’m still going to stalk you with Joe. But I can’t stop you from getting to know him. I can’t say I’ll even be the best option, given how crazy staying might make me. I’m just asking to be an option, if that’s okay.”
“It doesn’t seem like I have a choice,” she said teasingly.
“You do,” he said. “You always do. It’s me who doesn’t have a choice. I don’t think I can live without you.”
He was being melodramatic. A common problem with him, but still her heart went out to him.
“All right, Rock. A chance. I won’t write you off yet. But I don’t want you to get hurt over this.”
“I won’t,” he said sharply.
She could almost hear his triumph over the line. “Are you gonna be okay sleeping there tonight?”
There was a long pause. “I think so.”
She let out a sigh. “Well, call if you need me.” She’d always been the one he could call.
“Okay,” he said roughly, and she got the feeling this was one night he wouldn’t be calling. “Good night, Ros.”
Rock surprised himself by arriving at Joe’s ranch the next day before Ros could get there.
Heck, he didn’t even know if she’d be coming. He did know that once she set her mind on something, she tended to go full bore into it.
Like him.
Of course, despite the cold morning air Rock was just grateful to be out of the house and away from the nightmares. Although seeing Ros with Joe would be a nightmare all in its own.
But for now, he had more questions for Joe.
Joe was already waiting on the front porch with two cups of coffee and handed one to Rock as he led him down the front steps and out to a small path that led toward the mountain on the west side of the ranch.
“Where are we going?”
“Where I was thinking of putting up the camp,” he said. “I figured we can bring troubled boys up, groups of girls up. Separate, I think.”
Rock nodded. It’d be hard to keep an eye on things otherwise, unless the kids were all part of a group that was coming up just for the day and not staying overnight.
Then again, maybe they would need to hire counselors…
He rubbed a hand over his chin, unable to believe he was really considering logistics for this place.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked Joe, who stood with one hand on his hip as he sipped his coffee with the other. “I mean, setting this up along with your tourist ranch. And why do you want me to run it?”
Joe lifted his shoulders nonchalantly. “I just thought your image would be a good addition.”
“Ah, so you want to use me for tourist bait,” Rock said.
“More like publicity,” Joe said. “You’re the most well-known of the Brolins. Well, maybe Ryland in his own circles, but you’re the one people have seen interviewed on TV.”
Rock shrugged and tasted the coffee. Black with only a little cream. Not too shabby, except it needed about a pile of sugar. But he wasn’t going to tell Joe that. He pretended to enjoy it, resisting the urge to spit. If Joe took it strong, he could, too.
He was aware this was childish, but if the other man had his attentions on Ros, Rock was going to keep up on every little thing with him.
Craved by the Bear (Trapped in Bear Canyon Book 2) Page 7