by Lynne Stevie
“I...what?” I was still struggling to wake up and figure out where I was. I felt like I’d been around the world and I didn’t know at which port of call I’d stopped. But here was Alan, and I was in my bedroom.
I let out a big breath and then realized I did have a death grip on Alan’s hand.
“Oh, Alan.” I let go of his hand. “I’m sorry. I was having a crazy dream. I guess I reached out to hold your hand. Did I hurt you? Are you all right?”
Zeke’s growls had quieted, and I felt his enormous heft land on my legs. That brought my head up fast—so fast that I head-butted Alan.
“Ow, ow, ow!” I gritted my teeth.
“Shit… Lex! That damn dog growled at me, and you probably gave me a black eye! Plus, I’ll need stitches from your nails digging into my hand.” In the dark I could feel Alan alternating between holding his head and massaging his hand. Zeke rolled over on my legs and yawned.
“Zeke, get down.” I shoved him off the bed. With the blood flow to my legs restored, I turned to Alan.
But what could I say? I couldn’t tell him the truth.
And what was the truth? With all the different places I’d traveled to in my visions, could I say that I’ve seen the Nile? And my shoes! Damn, I wish I could have kept those heels.
Maybe I really am twisted. Of all the things that could trouble me about my “dream,” I just wanted my Manolo Blahniks back. Luckily for me, having a shoe fetish isn’t anything to be institutionalized for.
I decided in that moment that less is more, at least in terms of what I could tell Alan.
“I had a bad dream. I’m sorry about hurting you. Do you need me to look at it? I can get the first aid kit.”
He caught me before I could roll out of bed. “Nah, Lex, I’ll be fine. Are you sure you’re okay? You were holding on for dear life, and you kept saying ‘sun, suns,’ or something like that. What were you dreaming about?” He pushed his pillow against the headboard, propped himself up, and waited for my answer.
“It was just crazy. I can’t even remember all the places and times I was in. You know how dreams are. I jumped all over the place.”
Once again, I hadn’t really lied, just not told the whole truth. Crap, I’m getting sooo good at this. Lying to Alan made me sad. He’s been my partner in every way since I came on to him in his dorm room in college. He loves to tell that story. I was a little drunk. Okay, I was plastered. And I did sort of attack him, but he wasn’t unwilling. The rest is history; we’ve been inseparable ever since. Keeping secrets from him hurt, but this crap with Ellasar and Beatrix was too much to burden him with. Besides, he would be safer out of the loop on this one.
“It was nothing,” I said now. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah. I’m just worried. You’ve been acting so strange since you were attacked, and now the fire. Lex, is there anything you want to talk about?”
He saw me shaking my head.
“Don’t shake your head at me. Hear me out. I think something more happened that night—maybe something that you’re not aware of, but something bad. That’s why you’re having these bad dreams, digging up the front yard, bringing this bear—” he pointed to Zeke, “—into our home. B coming into your life again hasn’t helped the stress, and now we’ve had the fire. I think it would be a good idea for you to just talk about everything.”
He kissed my forehead and pulled me into his chest for a hug. Holding me tight he said, “I’m here, and I want to understand what’s going on. You can trust me, Lex. You don’t have to answer right now, just think about it. We can talk some more in the morning. Now, let’s get some sleep. We have another hour before it’s time to get up.”
I felt like shit holding all of this from him. How do you explain that you’re the descendent of an angel? It’s just too crazy to say out loud. I listened to Alan snore and thought about my lineage, Ellasar’s words came back to me: ask B about your grandfather. Why would he say that? The way he said it made me nervous.
I looked at the clock. It blared 5:14 at me, and I figured I might as well get up. Sleep is overrated; besides, I wasn’t tired anymore anyway. That’s a surprise, since I think I’ve been around the world in the few hours that I did sleep-dream. Whatever.
I slid out from under Alan’s arm as quietly as possible, grabbed my running clothes, and headed into the bathroom. Zeke lifted his head to check on me and then stretched. I guess he hadn’t gotten much sleep, either. A run would be just the thing to get me back to feeling normal. Well, as normal as possible.
Zeke was waiting for me when I came out of the bathroom. He stretched again and followed me downstairs. I pressed the start button on the coffeemaker and got my fanny pack/water bottle holder down from the cabinet. While I filled the bottle, I looked out at the still, dark morning. Thank goodness the time change was coming soon. But then it would be dark at 5pm. Compromise, I guess, but I’ve never understood why they don’t just cut the hour in half and leave it alone. No more changing the clocks every six months. Wouldn’t that just make sense? My father always said if you could teach common sense, you’d be a millionaire.
The smell of coffee brought me back into the real world. I got my favorite pink mug from the cabinet and sneaked a little coffee before it finished brewing. It was like sludge. That would get me going—a perfect little jolt that should kick in around mile two of my four-mile run.
Zeke waited patiently by the door.
“Sorry, big guy, I’ll bet you gotta go.” I hurried to open the door. “Meet you back here in a few for a run? I hope you like to run. I should probably get you a leash today.”
Zeke was on his way out, but he turned to growl.
“Hey, it’s just for appearances. Relax.”
He trotted on down the stairs and out into the yard. I retrieved my water bottle and locked the door on my way out. I stretched a little and he reappeared moments later as if from nowhere.
“You ready?”
He yawned. I guess he was as ready as he ever would be, so we took off down the driveway.
The weather was perfect—crisp and cool, but not too cold. The crepe myrtles were barren, but the magnolias hadn’t lost their leaves yet. The camellias were getting ready to bloom, and the pansies that everyone planted in the fall were beautiful. Halloween decorations were everywhere, reminding me that the holiday was just a week away. I love Halloween and we usually go all out. Alan and I always go to a local bar for their party, and we always have coordinating costumes. We’ve been Raggedy Ann and Andy, with Alan as Ann and me as Andy. Once we were the Addams Family—Alan as Morticia and me as Gomez. Halloween is an excuse for every adult to act like a child. I love it! It was just what I needed.
I looked down at Zeke, who was keeping time perfectly. I wondered if he’d like to be part of the fun.
“Hey Zeke,” I said, a little breathless. “It’s almost Halloween. You wanna go as a cat? Or how about a unicorn?” I had to stifle a laugh; I’d love to see him with a pastel purple horn stuck in the middle of his head. Or better yet, cute little ears and fake whiskers. I almost lost it.
“Grrrrrr,” was his answer.
“Ah, come on. You’re no fun. I’ll think of something that we can all do. Ooh, how about Alice—that could be you—and Alan and I can be Tweedledum and Tweedledee?”
He just rolled his big head and pulled ahead to run in front of me.
“Spoil sport! You’re so serious all the time. At least Halloween gives me something fun to think about!” I yelled.
The run was still beautiful, but it was marred by the other thoughts that milled around in my head. I’d have to call B today and tell her about my dream visit with Ellasar and ask her about my grandfather. What was she hiding? Or, more accurately, what else was she hiding? She should come clean with me. Keeping anything from me now is crazy. I’m in too deep.
I needed to get into the office. Damn, I still hadn’t checked all my messages from the day before yesterday. The guilt made me cut my run from four
to just three miles. Well, at least Zeke seemed happy.
I got back about 6:30. After stretching, I motioned for Zeke to come in, but he stayed in the driveway. The coffee was hot. I downed a glass of water first, then filled my cup and sipped it leaning against the counter.
A slight breeze on my bare feet reminded me that my sun room was gone. Air was coming under the interior door that had been shut to keep out the weather and animals. I didn’t want to see the damage, but I needed to know before Dennis got here if anything was left. Maybe I could save something.
I opened the door and the smell of burnt wicker and wood scorched my nose. Black, every single thing was black. The three-foot support walls were black with soot and reduced to rubble. The stairs, ceiling, and every wall were gone. Now my beautiful sunroom was just a big, wet hole in the ground. I wept for a moment until I remembered that I was still alive and that Dennis would be here today with his crew to rebuild it.
No time like the present. I was already sweaty, so I might as well be dirty, too. I wiped my eyes and hopped down into the soggy, black mess, being careful not to step on anything dangerous. I found a big piece of sturdy wood and used it to pick and pry through the debris. I still had hopes that some of our photos or maybe a few of the old planters had survived.
The far southwest side of the room had been filled with old handmade cabinets that I hadn’t looked in recently. I’d used them to store old flower pots and garden tools that I’d kept more for nostalgic reasons than to use. The doors were still on the burnt cabinets, so maybe the contents were just smoke damaged and I could save what was inside.
When I opened the first cabinet door, it fell off its hinges. Inside, the old flower pots and tools seemed to have survived, and the sight of those forlorn objects made me really happy. I was not as lucky with the other doors, though, which seemed to be welded shut, so I tried to pry the old wooden top off the cabinets. But I couldn’t do it. I just wasn’t strong enough.
Crap! What was the use of having angel strength if I couldn’t use it when I wanted?
But that gave me an idea. I rubbed my birth mark for good luck and closed my eyes. It was time that I learned to channel this shit anyway. I tried to remember the burning in my veins and the way it had felt like ants moving through my blood, giving me that jolt of energy. For just a split second I feared what I might unleash.
That was enough. That small dose of fear was the final factor. I pried the solid wood countertop loose with a loud pop and pushed it off the cabinet boxes like it was nothing.
WOW! That felt great. I was busy doing a little dance when Alan stuck his head out.
“Alex, what are you doing, honey?” His face was still wrinkled from sleep.
“Sorry, Alan, did I wake you? I went for a run and had some coffee and then decided to check out the sunroom and see if we could save anything. Sorry I was loud.”
“Slow down, I think I only caught part of that.” He rubbed his face and I laughed. I was so giddy with this new strength I could barely contain it.
“I must have had too much coffee.” I tried to slow my speech and contain the tremors of strength that coursed through my muscles. “Why don’t you get a cup, too? I found all of my great-grandmother’s gardening tools! You know, I was afraid nothing would be left of my mother and great-grandmother. Just really happy, you know?” I was still babbling like an idiot and my speech was too fast, but I hoped he was too tired to notice.
“I can help if you give me a minute to get dressed. And get some coffee.” He said it like he needed to catch up with my coffee buzz.
“Relax, hon. Dennis will be here soon, and then the guys can help me if I need it. I just want to get some of these things out to the shed before they start to clean up. I’d hate it if anything got broken now.”
“Okay, Lex. I’ll just get some coffee.” He turned to get his fix.
I was grateful that he was gone. I was still jazzed and I needed to find a way to come down without passing out. Was that possible? It must be.
I rubbed my head again for luck. Maybe if I calmed my blood pressure. I took deep breaths and thought about ocean waves. It didn’t help. Maybe I needed another run, or maybe I could run to the office. Ha.
I didn’t know what to do. I picked up some of the debris and threw it out into the yard, hoping it would wear me out. It didn’t. Just then Zeke poked his head around the corner and snorted at me.
“Zeke, am I glad to see you! Hey, buddy, what did I do? I just wanted a little bit of extra muscle to move the counter top, and now I’m wringing my hands because I can’t contain it.”
Zeke moved carefully through the maze of junk and came to my side. He slid his head against my hand and leaned into me. His closeness and the feel of his soft, wet fur was enough to stop the panicked gulps of air I was taking.
I knelt down in the rubble and held onto him with both arms and that helped even more. Within a few moments I had made progress to being only slightly anxious or out of control.
“Zeke, you’re the best.” I nuzzled him a little with my head, but his dampness made me pull away slightly. “Why are you so wet?”
He answered with a huge shudder that covered me in spray.
“Did you go for a swim in the freezing water?”
Woof!
“Cool, I don’t even need to give you a bath. You’ll spoil me. I’ll never be able to have another pet, you know. Thanks. I owe you one.”
Instead of barking, Zeke just nudged me and made his way out of the rubble.
Now I could see that a lot of stuff needed to move to the shed. Hmm, maybe I should have kept that strength until the job was finished. No! I stifled that thought as it formed. No way. I needed better guidance before I tried that again.
I salvaged lots of old gardening tools and clay pots, some probably worth something. Iron was used in the old days for spades and weeding tools. One old tool in particular caught my eye. It looked like some sort of dobber. Mom had used those to plant bulbs and bigger seeds. She’d plunge it into the ground, and it made a nice hole about five inches deep. Then she’d drop the seed in and cover it up. Done.
The end of this tool was rounded like a dobber, but the other end was ornate with a long circle for a handle. I’d have to look it up online. I love antiques, and I’d bet this one was rare. In the past, furniture, tools, kitchenware, or devices often were ornate. I have beautiful hand-blown glass juicers and small individual crystal knife rests, tiny glass salt and pepper bowls with tiny silver serving spoons. The craftsmanship that went into every detail of even the most mundane things was amazing. Take perfume bottles, for example. They used to be beautiful pieces of sculpture; now they’re disposable junk when the celebrity perfume is gone.
As I tried to pick some of the dirt and grit out of the dobber handle to get a better look, the doorbell rang. Stowing it away in the shed with the rest of the salvaged pots and tools, I ran for the door. Coming around the side yard, I heard a loud woof and hoped Zeke wasn’t eating anyone that he shouldn’t be.
No such luck. The delivery man stood with his back up against the door, holding a box, and Zeke sat in front of him, licking himself. Every once in a while he looked up and growled.
“Zeke! Stop that!” I yelled as I dashed up the steps. “I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”
The guy didn’t even look at me.
“Sir, are you okay?” I stood between him and Zeke and waved my hand in front of his face.
“Sir! Are—you—okay!”
His expression finally cracked and he noticed me. “That—that isn’t a dog. It should be leashed. What is it?” His hands trembled; I thought he’d drop the package.
Zeke was still licking his privates.
“Zeke! Stop that.” I gently moved the delivery guy aside, opened the door, and ushered Zeke into the house. “Come on, get inside. You’ve scared enough people for one day.”
Zeke hopped up and licked my hand on his way into the house. Yuck! He’d just been licking himself. We n
eeded to talk about that. The delivery guy was still staring in the window, still in shock, I guessed.
“Is that for me?” I pointed to the package.
“Ma’am, we won’t be able to deliver if that thing is not on a leash or, better yet, locked up out back.” His hands still shook.
“Yes, sir, we just found him yesterday and I promise, he’ll be on a leash by this afternoon.” I said it loud enough so that Zeke could hear me. The loud growl let me know that he’d been listening. The delivery man pushed the package into my hands and took off down the driveway, walking so fast that he was almost running in his desperate need to escape.
I went into the house and set the package on the counter. I heard the shower running upstairs—no wonder Alan hadn’t heard the door. Oh well. I went to get another cup of coffee and gave Zeke a stern look on my way. Zeke stayed where he was and glowered at the package. “What? Are you mad that I didn’t let you eat the delivery guy? Now I’ll have to have everything delivered to the office.” Zeke just whimpered and looked up at the box. “What?” I asked again. He did nothing, but stare at the package. I sat my coffee cup down and went back over to the package.
I’m hooked on mail order, so the package was undoubtedly something I’d bought although I didn’t see a return address. I grabbed the scissors from the kitchen utensil canister and cut the tape. Zeke stayed by my side. He made me nervous.
“Hey, you’d tell me if it was a bomb or something, right?”
I opened the box, but all I could see was gold tissue paper. Using the end of the scissors, I carefully lifted the paper. I saw a tiny buckle.
Oh! Sweet!
I ripped the paper apart and—YES!—there was a brand new pair of heels just like the ones I’d lost when that shithead attacked me the other night. I pulled them out of the box and examined them. They were the right size. Inside the box I found a small card. The paper was thick, yet velvet-soft under my fingers. Like an old calling card. Written in beautiful script was a note:
Dear Qadesh: I wanted to give you something to remember our evening last night, and I remembered how much you liked the beautiful sandals. Enjoy! I’ll see you in your dreams. Ellasar