by Linda Turner
Idiot! He swore silently, freezing in his tracks. Talk about bonehead mistakes! Why didn’t he just grab a pan from the chuck wagon and beat on it until he woke the whole camp?
Half expecting to be discovered any second, he had a story already worked out if anyone woke and asked him what he was doing out walking when he was supposed to be in bed. He’d just say he couldn’t sleep in the strange surroundings, so he was going to walk to the springs to relax. It was a simple enough excuse, and nothing less than the truth. And the truth always made the best lie whenever you were caught somewhere you weren’t supposed to be.
But the men—and Lise—continued to snore without interruption, and with a quiet sigh of relief, he continued toward the springs. This time, however, he was careful to make sure he didn’t disturb any loose rocks.
Silence surrounded the springs, but Steve didn’t make the mistake of thinking the place was deserted. In the cool quiet of the night, the desert animals came there to drink and were no doubt watching his every move. Moving cautiously so as not to startle any of them, he stepped to the edge of the springs and pulled out his phone card. Right next to him, the water of the springs bubbled merrily, which was why he’d chosen that particular location to make his call. If anyone followed him from camp, they’d have a hard time eavesdropping on his conversation.
“Hi, Mom,” he said quietly when Belinda came on the line. “How’s Dad?”
“We’re not quite sure,” she said just as quietly. “That new treatment you told me about in London doesn’t seem to be working. The doctors said we need to prepare ourselves for the worst and at least discuss funeral arrangements.”
So Simon had gone underground, Steve thought grimly, hence the funeral arrangements. If they were lucky, he was on his way to the station even as they spoke, not that that would do Steve any good. This far from the house, Simon could fly in and out a dozen times and Steve would never know it.
“I’m too far away to help you with that, Mom. In fact, I don’t seem to be much good to you at all. Maybe I should just quit my job and come home.”
He’d never asked to be pulled from a mission before, and it stunned him as much as it did Belinda. For a long moment, there was nothing but silence between them, then Belinda said, “What’s going on, son? Is something wrong?”
Hell, yes, there was something wrong! he wanted to growl. He couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t remember his only reason for being there, for God’s sake! And Belinda knew it. That was why she’d felt the need to call him son. With that one word, she’d reminded him all too clearly of his cover and his mission.
Unfortunately, he knew what his responsibilities were, but that didn’t change the way he felt about Lise. All he could think about was kissing her, getting her into his bed, and that didn’t bode well for his mission. If he didn’t want to screw the whole thing up, he needed to get out of there while he still could.
But he couldn’t just come right out and say that, not when there was even a remote possibility that his end of the conversation might somehow be overheard. “I’m just restless,” he said, and hoped she understood. “You know how it is when you want something you can’t have. That’s all you seem to think about, all you want. And it frustrates the hell out of me. That’s why I thought it might be time for me to come home, Mom. I could find another doctor for Dad who could get him back on his feet, then we could all get on with our lives.”
His suggestion made perfect sense as far as he was concerned, but Belinda wasn’t buying it. “Your dad doesn’t need another doctor,” she said firmly. “There’s no time to find a replacement without causing problems. Anyway, the doctor he has is doing a wonderful job. I have complete confidence in him, and I’m sure the rest of the family does, too.”
He didn’t pretend to misunderstand. SPEAR was happy with the job he was doing and couldn’t pull him without raising suspicions. Deep down, he’d expected as much, and he heard all the words she wasn’t saying. The mission to capture Simon was bigger than any one person, and he couldn’t allow his personal feelings to interfere with that. He was a better agent—and man—than that.
She was right, of course—she knew him too well. But even though he accepted her decision, he didn’t fool himself into thinking it would be easy. Not after he’d held Lise in his arms when she was nearly naked and kissed her senseless. After all, there was only so much a man could be expected to put out of his mind.
The memory stirring needs he couldn’t deal with at the moment, he said roughly, “It’s your decision, Mom. If you’re happy with the way things are, then we’ll just go on as we are. If you change your mind, let me know.”
She wouldn’t, and they both knew it, which meant he was stuck. Like it or not, if he didn’t discover any new information on Simon soon, he would be forced to rethink his decision not to seduce Lise to find out where her father was. And everything inside him rebelled at the thought. If he did decide to follow orders and go through with it—and that was still a very big if—it would only be because he was a professional and he’d made a commitment to SPEAR. If his emotions were much more involved than they should be, that was no one’s business but his own. Somehow, he’d learn to deal with it. If he made that decision.
“I’ve got to go,” he said huskily. “Work starts early in the morning. I’ll call again when I can.”
Hanging up, he returned his phone to his wallet and quietly made his way to camp. Caught up in his troubled thoughts, he never saw the observer who stood thirty yards away in the thick shadows of the moonless night and watched his every move.
She didn’t sleep…at least, not peacefully. And it was all Steve’s fault. Every time her brain finally shut down and she fell asleep, Steve crawled into her dreams. Time and again over the course of the night, she relived those hot, sensuous moments at the springs when he’d reached for her. And time and again, she woke with her heart pounding and her body hungry for his touch.
It was enough to drive a perfectly sane women right over the edge. Frustrated, more tired than when she went to bed, she was in a bear of a mood the next morning, and it was all Steve’s fault. He’d done this to her, he’d driven her to this, and she’d finally figured out why. He was playing with her. There was no other explanation. He was an attractive man with more experience in his little finger than she had in her entire body, and flirting came as naturally to him as breathing. He didn’t mean anything by it—he was just teasing her.
And it had to stop. Because this wasn’t fun for her anymore. She didn’t have any defenses where he was concerned, and when he kissed her, she didn’t want it to be a game. She didn’t want him to tease her and touch her and kiss her just because he was bored and looking for a distraction. She wanted it to be for real, because he couldn’t help himself, because he was as drawn to her as she was to him.
Instead, he was just passing time.
No more, she thought grimly as she pulled on her clothes, then stomped into her boots before heading for the chuck wagon for breakfast. She couldn’t stand any more of this. It had to stop. Now!
He was the first person she saw when she joined the others at the chuck wagon, but he was involved in a conversation with Barney and made no attempt to join her when she took a seat with the rest of the men. Thankful for small blessings and the chance to eat her breakfast without having to confront him, she dug into scrambled eggs and bacon and coffee that was strong enough to choke a horse.
Breakfast, however, was not a meal that could be lingered over. Not when the sun was breaking over the horizon and they were burning daylight. By unspoken agreement, everyone finished at the same time, dumped their empty plates in the dishpan Cookie used to wash dishes, then hurried to the corral to saddle their mounts. It was time to go to work.
Lise had brought Thunder because he was an excellent cutting horse and could work for hours at a time without tiring. And there was nothing that he loved more than roundup. Snorting restlessly as she bridled him and threw a saddl
e blanket on his back, she could feel the excitement coursing through his big body. He was as anxious as she to get out in the bush. His ears were cocked forward, his big brown eyes sharp with intelligence. The second Lise settled on his back, he would be anxious to be off.
“Easy, big boy,” she said softly. “We’ve got a full day ahead of us, so let’s pace ourselves, okay? You’ll get your chance to run later.”
Appearing suddenly on the other side of Thunder, Steve grinned at her over the horse’s back. “I just love it when you call me big boy. And here I thought you hadn’t noticed.”
He kept his voice down, thankfully, so the other men didn’t hear, but that glint was back in his eyes, the one that always set Lise’s heart thundering. With nothing more than a single look, he reminded her of last night and those heated moments she’d spent in his arms. Just that easily, he made her ache.
Horrified by how badly she wanted to feel his arms around her and his mouth on hers, she snapped, “Stop it, Steve! I mean it. I know you’re just teasing, but find some other way to amuse yourself, okay? You don’t have to flirt with me just because I’m the only woman within a hundred miles. I don’t expect it or want it. Okay? Do we understand each other?”
Shocked, Steve understood, all right, and he didn’t like it one little bit. She still thought he was like her father and was only attracted to small, petite women who were so fragile that they’d break if you looked at them wrong. And that infuriated him. He’d held her in his arms and kissed her like there was no tomorrow. Did she think he’d faked what she did to him? Did she really think he was that much of a bastard?
Hurt, more angry than he’d been in a long time, he should have turned and walked away before he did something stupid. But he’d be damned if he’d let her run him off like a dog with his tail between his legs.
Stepping around Thunder to join her on her side of the horse, he growled, “So you think I’m amusing myself, do you? That I couldn’t possibly be attracted to you? Is that what you’re saying?”
He reached for her, drew her up on her toes and saw her eyes widen in surprise. But she didn’t back down. Oh, no, not Lise Meldrum. She threw up her chin and had no idea how much he admired her for that. He wasn’t trying to intimidate her—he’d never do that!—but Lord, he liked a woman who stood up for herself!
Her eyes boldly meeting his, she retorted, “So what if I am? You can’t deny you’re a flirt.”
No, he couldn’t—he didn’t even try. He liked women and he wasn’t going to apologize for that. “That doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to you.”
“Quit saying that! You’re attracted to cute little blondes, just like every other man, and that’s something I’ll never be. So quit making fun of me. I don’t like it, dammit!”
They were practically shouting at each other and totally oblivious to the fact that they were drawing the eye of every man in camp. Even if he’d known, Steve wouldn’t have cared. She thought he was making fun of her! That he was the type of man who would do such a thing.
Furious, he tightened his grip on her arms and drew her close, then closer still. His gray eyes glaring into her blue ones, he snarled, “I don’t know who gave you such a poor opinion of yourself, but don’t you ever insult yourself or me that way again. In case you hadn’t noticed, lady, I want you, and that’s not something a man can fake!”
Just to make sure she got the message, he hauled her flush against him, buried his hands in the wild mane of her hair and kissed her with all the hurt and anger raging inside him.
He couldn’t, however, do anything to physically hurt her. The second his mouth covered hers, his temper died, and just that quickly, the kiss gentled and softened. Heat sizzled between them, and with a hungry murmur, he slipped his arms around her, cradling her against the entire length of his body, and deepened the kiss.
Every nerve ending attuned to the thundering of his heart against hers and the feel of his mouth against hers, Lise couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but feel. And what he did to her made her feel wonderful. He felt wonderful. Hard and strong and steady as a rock. She wasn’t a woman who needed a man to watch over her. She could take care of herself—she always had. But when he held her as if she was more precious than gold, she loved it.
Enchanted, she could have spent the next hour just kissing him. With a soft moan, she stood higher on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck, not caring that every one of her cowboys was watching the show. Nothing mattered but Steve…and kissing him.
She thought he felt the same way. She could have sworn he was just as caught up in the kiss as she was. But the second her arms circled his neck, everything changed. He stiffened, and before she could wonder what went wrong, his hands settled on her shoulders. A split second later, he abruptly set her away from him.
Stunned, still reeling from the punch of his kiss, she stared at him with eyes dark with need. “Steve…”
His eyes still hot with temper, he growled, “Save it. You’ve said more than enough already.”
Without another word, he turned and stormed over to his mount, leaving her staring after him in chagrin. She’d offended him, and that was the last thing she’d meant to do.
Clearing his throat, Tuck said, “We’re wasted enough time, people. Let’s get to work.”
He didn’t have to say it twice. Everyone grabbed their mounts and stepped into the saddle. A few short seconds later, they rode out of camp just as the sun cleared the horizon. Normally, Lise would have been at the head of the group with Tuck, leading the way. But Steve had already taken a position at the older man’s right flank, and he was studiously ignoring her. Hanging back, she clung to the rear and gave him the space he seemed to need.
She told herself that he wasn’t the type of man to hold a grudge. He’d get over his anger. All she had to do was give him a little time to cool off, and he’d come around.
But one hour gave way to another, and another still, and he made sure that he didn’t come anywhere near her. He joked with the other men as they worked, but whenever she joined in the conversation, he shut up like a clam and let the others do the talking. When they all returned to camp for lunch, he pointedly sat at the far end of the portable table Cookie had set up and pretended she didn’t exist.
And the afternoon wasn’t any better. He kept his distance as much as he could, and whenever he was forced to talk to her, which wasn’t often, he kept the conversation strictly limited to work. There was no teasing, no flirting, and Lise was stunned to discover just how much she missed it and the mischief that usually danced in his eyes whenever they met hers. But it was when he called her Ms. Meldrum in a cool, distant voice that she realized just how much she had offended him.
She had to apologize. As they all returned to camp at the end of the day for supper, he didn’t spare her so much as a glance, and she knew she had to find a way to mend fences with him. She wanted the old Steve back. In spite of the fact that he knew just how to push her buttons and seemed to relish doing that, she’d never felt so alive as when they were sparring with each other. That was the man she wanted back, the irreverent, devilish, fun-loving Steve, and if she had unthinkingly insulted him, then she would certainly apologize.
Not, however, in front of her men. The two of them had already put on enough of a show for the hands—whatever else they had to say to each other would be said in private. So she waited impatiently for supper to be over, then for the men to retreat to the springs for their baths. When Steve slipped into his tent to collect clean clothes before joining the others, she saw her chance.
The flap to his tent was open, but she didn’t dare enter without his permission. Knocking quietly on the metal framework of the tent, she said softly, “Knock, knock. May I come in?”
For a moment, she thought he was going to turn her down flat. Glancing sharply over his shoulder, he scowled at her for a long, silent moment, considering, before he finally nodded curtly. “You’re the boss. You can do a
ny damn thing you like.”
So he wasn’t going to make this easy for her. Accepting that it was no more than she deserved after the way she’d insulted him, she stepped across the threshold. “I don’t blame you for being angry with me,” she said huskily, gripping her hands together in front of her. “I realize now how I offended you, and I’d like to apologize. I never meant to insult you.”
If he’d had a choice, Steve liked to think he would have held on to his anger and refused to accept her apology. Considering how susceptible he was to her, it would have been the smart thing to do and given him some emotional distance. And emotional distance, he was discovering, was something he desperately needed with the lady.
But he had a mission to complete. Like it or not, he wasn’t going to be able to find out jack squat about Simon or his illicit activities if he wasn’t talking to her. He needed her help. He still wasn’t prepared to make love to her for the agency, but if her feelings for him became deeper than mere lust, he could use that to his advantage. Because a woman in love would tell a man just about anything he wanted to know.
His stomach knotted in distaste at the thought, and for the first time in all the years he’d worked for SPEAR, he hated what he had to do as an operative. There was, unfortunately, nothing he could do about that. He had to use her, and he felt guilty as hell about it. She was a good woman, dammit! And the only way he could make it up to her was to make her feel good about herself. He hoped after he was gone she’d remember that.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with the men around here,” he said quietly, meaning every word, “but they must all be blind. You’re an incredibly attractive woman. Why can’t they see that? Why can’t you see that?”
Tears welled in Lise’s eyes at his words. Touched, thankful that he was finally talking to her again, she found herself telling him things she’d never confided to anyone in her life. “Because no one’s ever told me I was pretty before,” she said huskily. “My mother was like a china doll, and my father was crazy about her. When she had new shoes, he’d carry her from the drive to the house so she wouldn’t get them dirty. I can remember my mother laughing and throwing her arms around his neck, and I always wished Dad would do the same thing to me, but he never did. I thought it was because I wasn’t small like my mother.”