by Mia Madison
“Please, babe. Hear me out. I don’t think your parents would like that idea right now.”
“You’re worried about them over me?” I said, frustrated. “I’m grown. I’m committed to keeping my grades up. I’m here, working for the car I want instead of spending my days at the beach, bullshitting.”
“We both knew your parents were a factor against us from the beginning,” he said. “Your dad doesn’t even know about us. At some point, we’ll have to go to him and let him know what’s going on.”
“Well, duh. Parker told me about the blowup you guys had last week.” I refolded my arms and poked my hip out to one side. “He’d never seen you so mad over a woman. He even asked me if I knew who she was.”
Zane’s expression underwent a mild transformation. He was less serious, slightly more bashful. It was totally adorable. He hadn’t told me about the blowup. Never even mentioned it. He wasn’t prepared to reveal just how deeply he cared for me.
“Aww, baby.” I sank to my knees and rubbed his crotch, kissing it lightly through the fabric of his gym shorts. “Tell the truth. You do see a future with us.”
“I do.” His voice was barely audible. He pulled me up from my knees. “…But I can’t let it happen. Not while you’re in school. And that’s another thing. Christina will be back tonight.”
I looked at him in stunned silence. “Are you serious?”
He looked at me. “Today’s your last day of work, GiGi. You can come over, I don’t mind. I’d love to see you, spend time with you. I want to have you around.”
“Oh, I get it. You can kiss me, flirt with me, play with me, eat me out, have me beg for you, and get your -” I grabbed his package and caressed it, temporarily teasing his hardness - “big, thick dick sucked. You can even give me your heart. But I can’t actually be your woman, because you don’t want anyone judging you on account of my age.”
I stood to my feet, pissed. I felt used, even though I knew better. We both didn’t anticipate this happening. But it did. And instead of just being grown about it, he decided to hide in the shadows and use my age to protect himself.
“GiGi. It’s not like that. You know I care about you -”
I didn’t stay to listen, and I didn’t hear anything after the SLAM I left in the door.
22
Zane
“Good morning!”
Christina’s voice was chipper per usual. I greeted her respectfully, but past that I had no morning cheer in my spirit.
It had been a week since she’d been back, and things were back to normal.
But I didn’t like normal.
Normal didn’t have GiGi’s warm, flirty scent. It didn’t possess her radiant, million dollar smile. There weren’t any opportunities to dive my face between her thick, athletic legs, and bring her to orgasms by simply sucking on those candy-flavored nipples I love so much.
GiGi walking out on me smashed my heart into a million indiscernible pieces. I tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep despite picking up grueling two-a-day workouts.
Christina had done a great job filling in where GiGi temporarily left off, but she couldn’t fill the hole in my heart that had suddenly been ripped open in GiGi’s departure.
I don’t remember feeling lovesick in my life, but I had it bad. So bad that I stalked her Instagram page to see how she was doing. There were a few social memes on heartbreak, anger, and moving on. Those bristled my heart; I never meant to hurt her.
… But I had. And I had to. She wasn’t ready for the level of commitment I needed at this stage of life. I wanted a wife and kids. I wanted to be a Little League dad. I wanted a Soccer Mom wife. I wanted all the simple things life had to offer, without the spotlight and money.
She’ll be okay, I thought to myself. She’ll hate me forever, but then she’ll realize this was for the best. She’ll push harder in school, graduate at the top of her class, get a world-class position through one of Parker’s associates.
I nearly bit my lip to the point of drawing blood when I came to the end of my self-soothing.
She’ll fall in love… with someone who’s not me. Someone younger, closer to her age and place in life. Someone who will be ready to settle down when the time is right for both of them. And I’ll have to stand by and let this happen.
Because I want what’s best for her, and that’s what you do when you love someone. You set them free, even if it kills you to do so.
An angry tear slid from my eye before I punched a hole in the wall and stormed out the house for another 10 mile run.
23
GiGi
“What do you think of this one, honey?”
I twisted my face in disinterest. “I don’t know. I don’t really like it.”
Mom sighed. “This is a Kia Rio, Ginger. It’s not meant to be eye-catching, just practical. You need to get from point A to point B, and this is within your budget.”
I would be leaving for school this weekend. I’d only stay about 45 minutes away from home, but the fact remained that I needed transportation. Despite cashing Zane’s check and Dad’s money, I still hadn’t found a car that grabbed my attention.
The car we were looking at was dark blue. It had 170,000 miles on it, and it was priced affordably, but it didn’t excite me. The cloth seats had some stains on it. It smelled like mildew and moth balls.
… But it was ridiculously inexpensive. As in a flat $3,500. My mother’s client had to sell the car after his mother passed.
I was tired of driving cars my mother’s friends and clients needed to purge. It infused the sale with a sense of obligation to remain loyal. I am completely respectful of practicality, but at least Cashmere was cute.
“My shift starts in 90 minutes,” I said, looking at my phone. “Can I think it over?”
Mom sighed. She knew I was stalling. But she didn’t have much enforcement in this issue because I was the one who’d be purchasing the car.
“I promise, we’ll test drive it tomorrow or something,” I lied. “It’s just that I can’t be late for work. These are the last few days I have before class.”
Deep down, we both knew that was my way of saying no.
Work was pretty routine. College boys with cheap tips, and bored men with healthier deposits. Plenty of opportunities for me to flirt and lose myself in the moment. Except, the moment didn’t rid me of the heartache I felt.
Walking out on Zane was the hardest thing I’d ever done. But it needed to happen. He didn’t want me, and if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that you don’t try to force your way into anyone’s heart if you’re not wanted there.
Elle and Laura had no idea what happened with Zane and I. Nobody knew. It was our secret, and I’m glad it stayed that way. I don’t know how I would explain breaking my summer of focus for a divorced guy that happened to be my stepdad’s client and best friend.
… And yet still, arguably hands down, one of the hottest guys I’d ever seen.
I admit, I refused to call or contact him. He hadn’t reached out to me since the day I left, but he had dropped off a final check with Parker for me. I was excited for the money; Lord knows it was a healthy amount.
But it wasn’t about the money anymore.
It was about my heart. Love. Fighting against things that are meant to be.
Have you ever experienced a connection so real it’s like a dream come true? I don’t know how it happened, but there was something gorgeous and wild about being with Zane. He was my protector, my partner in crime. He was a true friend. I felt light and open and safe with him.
But he threw it away because of my age. Because of what others would think of us. How could he not understand connections like ours couldn’t be found everyday?
Just as I was getting ready to head to sleep, a post caught my eye. It was a picture of Zane. But he wasn’t alone. He was holding hands with some exotic looking model. I can’t recall her name, but they were leaving Cecconi’s. I recognized that place from several birthday vi
sits.
He wore a casual black V-neck and jeans. His beard was trimmed. The woman was brunette, with big brown eyes. She was tall and leggy. I recognized her from a few music videos and fashion shoots.
I felt an emotional heatwave cover my face. My eyes watered. He moved on already.
My heart broke all over again because I realized why we’d never gone all the way. There was never an issue with my age. She was the same age as me. She had to be.
It was me. He just didn’t want me.
Asshole.
24
Zane
“Dinner was amazing.” Her brown eyes sparkled in the evening light. “I really enjoyed myself.”
“You’re welcome.” My smile was politically correct, as was my tone. “I enjoyed myself also.”
Albina, my date for the evening, blushed as she slipped her hand in mine. We were leaving an evening meal from Cecconi’s.
Our date was nothing serious. Parker and the travel company had flown her in. They wanted us to go out, feel out our chemistry and assess whether or not we’d be able to survive for three months.
I hated - I mean really hated - the idea of being in public with another woman, especially a woman I didn’t know, opening my life up to scrutiny. Parker refused to push down $5 million, no matter how much I rejected it, and because I couldn’t bring Ginger to the table for the deal, I conceded.
I promised one night out, just to see if we had chemistry.
To the outside world, we looked fabulous. Even though I avoided checking social media, the texts I received from the few people who could reach me let me know how hot we were together.
They could see our gorgeous smiles, her slim hand in mine, and squeal with delight. “Oh my gosh, Zane! Who’s the new chick? She’s hot!”
Years mastering the art of public image gave me the body language sorcery needed to conceal my discomfort.
They’d see two beautiful successful people smiling, full from an expensive Italian meal in one of LA’s hottest restaurants. They’d see the way she beamed next to me, her expensive designer heels clicking in stride with me. They’d see the careful eye contact, every few minutes, to show attentiveness.
What they couldn’t see was my apathy.
Albina was sweet, foreign, and friendly. But she held no spark for me. Her jokes were light and choppy. Conversation never took off. She made plenty of suggestive comments, and I smoothly rolled them off. I decided we’d enjoy the meal, and then I’d head home and ask them to find someone else.
I unlocked my car, and held open the passenger side door for her. We pulled out of the parking, narrowly missing the celebrity hunters dying to record every second of our public meeting.
Albina’s hand slid onto my thigh, which reflexively tightened. “I’m trying to drive.”
“Let me help you.” Her hand moved closer to my crotch. The total lack of boundaries, combined with her sexual aggressiveness, turned me off even more. “Zamn Zaddy. You’re huge.”
“What did you say?”
“Zaddy.” She licked her lips and whispered in my ear. “Zamn Zaddy, your cock is huge.”
My ears burned. Only one woman called me by that name. And only one woman would be allowed to call me by that name.
“Which way is your hotel?” I ignored her and focused on the commute.
She pulled away from me to dig up the name of her hotel. “I’m at the Carlyle.” She started looking up the directions on her app.
I would have interrupted her, told her I knew how to get there. But I figured it would keep both her hands busy and away from me. For the most part, I was successful, but she started touching me again, in between Snapchat videos and Instagram pictures with the two of us.
“We look so cute together,” she mused, in her foreign accent. “Don’t you think?”
“Of course. You’re photogenic,” I offered, pleasantly. My eyes were steeled to the road. I needed to narrow my focus before I took her damn phone and hurled it out the window.
This was a mistake. A big mistake. She was one of the most beautiful women in the world to most people, but she wasn’t Ginger. Ginger smoldered on every level. She had a sexy voice, flirtatious yet elegant demeanor, and she knew how to tease without taking me over the edge.
This girl I met only hours ago? She was grabbing my dick, making crude jokes, and trying to suck me off before I’d even gotten near the hotel. Then, before anything was even completely agreed to, she was showing me off to her followers.
Her behavior reminded me of my ex-wife. I had no interest in this. I had no desire to deal with her, even if it would net millions of dollars, all expense trips in exotic locations, and sex on demand on every continent.
It’d only be worth it if I could have the woman I wanted. The woman who appealed to me, worked to provide on her own platform, and didn’t need fame to further herself or her aspirations.
Albina wanted nothing to do with the real me. She was about her followers. I was a good look for her burgeoning career, and a conquest to share with her friends.
I pulled up to the entrance. She got out. “The parking lot is that way.” She pointed in its direction. “I’m in room 325.”
She leaned into the car and pulled the fabric over her breasts to reveal expensive lingerie underneath. I looked at her, and realized what I was dealing with.
Albina was all about the image. Everything from the tailored little pink dress she wore to the nude heels on her feet and the expensive French perfume on her skin was sponsored. She’d whore herself at any cost.
“Alright, sexy. I see you.” I smiled.
“You’ll see even more in a few minutes, Zaddy.” She licked her lips and walked away, satisfied that she’d done enough to get me to come upstairs for dessert.
I grimaced. My cock wouldn’t sponsor her uptick to fame. If any woman would be seen with me, it would be a woman I loved and cared for. The woman who helped me fill in during an emergency.
The woman who tasted like wet candy, and made my cock hard whenever she called me Zaddy. The only woman I’d ever let call me Zaddy, or Daddy, in the first fucking place.
Ginger.
25
GiGi
“Excuse me.” One of the waitresses tapped me on the shoulder. “One of your tables just got seated.”
My day needed to end. I needed to call an Uber and be alone. I tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep because I’d seen an Instagram post showing the man I fallen in love with holding hands with another woman. While I twisted my sheets in nightmarish anxiety, he probably slept with her and slept like a baby.
I forced myself to get through the day. But it wasn’t easy. I had to swallow my tongue while Parker gushed about the media taking a liking to Zane and the model, Albina, as the new “It Couple.” He saw dollar signs and romance, spoke about how she was a good look to his otherwise demure yet mysterious image. I suppressed my desire to hurl my strawberry topping at him and smash the wafflemaker in rage.
Mom wasn’t any better. She texted me about taking that car for a test drive, but my heart wasn’t in it. I lied and told her I’d been called in early. She wouldn’t be able to confirm, because she was out with clients, as usual.
Work, usually a source of mental relief, wasn’t fun either. Customers kept me running to and fro. Orders were scrambled because my mind wandered. The buffalo sauce was like a yeast infection for my nostrils. I just wasn’t myself, but I forced myself to get through it.
Getting another customer at the exact moment I wanted to leave just wouldn’t work.
“You can take it,” I offered. “I’ve already cleaned up.”
“Thanks but they specifically asked for you.” She leaned in, eyes wide with excitement. “He’s really cute too.”
Sigh. I didn’t want to stay but a special request was just that. I could refuse, but if this were one of my regulars, it meant a nice tip at the end of his meal, and management wouldn’t be upset. They didn’t like when we ignored our regulars.
Suck it up, buttercup.
“You sure?” I offered. “You can tell him I left… I’m sure he’s a good tipper.”
She nodded. “He’s in my section, and he asked me about you. Of course I’m sure. I could use the help. I already have my hands full. I’ll even let you have the table next to him.”
“No. No.” I declined that offer. “Thank you.”
“I already gave him the menu, so you’re good to go.” She placed her hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry girl, it’s almost over.”
I walked over to her section, not particularly focused on anything, but prepping myself for a final performance. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I silently prayed for this to end quickly and smoothly.
“Good evening! I’m GiGi. I’m gonna be your Hooters Girl. Can I get you - Zane?”
I had to blink twice. Long, pregnant blinks.
Yet, there he was in the flesh. Sitting in the booth wearing a fitted black RADARTE tee and black jeans. Even within the swirl of buffalo sauce and fries, and with quintessential the scent of Hooters wings in the air, I could smell his signature scent enveloping us in his bubble of leather and mystery.
Balled right fist in left palm, elbows on the table, he steadied himself as our eyes met directly. His eyes were rich with inquiry. How are you? Do you miss me? Are you even happy to see me?
26
Zane
Gigi looked even more captivating than I remembered. Her long dark hair cascaded in glamorous curves over her shoulders and down her back. Her eyes were heavily made up, but her lips were covered with a natural shade of shimmering gloss. They looked full and kissable.