“By far, my most enjoyable task is visiting those in need. Whether in the village or neighboring farms,” Lady Ross said with a wistful smile. “I do hate when winter sets in and I cannot venture out.”
Lady Fraser nodded. “I agree. Mrs. McKay will attest to the fact that I spend many a day visiting and bringing food to widows and orphans in our village. There is always much need,” she said, referring to Catriona’s mother.
They’d already given her lists of what to have on hand to give out to travelers and the needy. They’d also provided her with detailed explanations of how to treat those in service at the keep and who to trust and hold in higher regard among them.
A housekeeper, a cook and several maids had already been hired. A companion had not been chosen yet, but Catriona was considering the young woman who’d been caring for her since her arrival. Maisie was sweet and quite proficient at ensuring her needs were met.
“May I ask,” Catriona said looking at Elspeth Ross, “will ye protest to me asking Maisie to be my companion?”
Elspeth thought about it for a moment. “I will not. Ye may want to include her brother, one of the stable lads in yer offer. They have no other family.”
“I will ask her then,” Catriona replied with a smile.
“I am sad not go be going with ye,” her mother said. “But the weather will soon turn cold and I must head back with Lady Fraser.”
Catriona kissed her mother’s cheek. “Audra must see about her children as well. Do not worry, all will be well. Next time ye visit, ye will be coming to my home. I insist ye bring all the bairns so ye both can stay longer.”
Lady Fraser and her mother and sister were to leave the following day. Soon after, she and Ewan, along with their companions, would be leaving for Tuath Avon.
It has been over a week since the wedding and, still, she and Ewan had not had relations. If anything, the man’s patience was beginning to wear thin on Catriona.
Every night, he kissed her, touched her, caressing her breasts until she wanted to scream. It was heavenly for those short moments and just as passion threatened to overcome them, Ewan stopped. He’d then kiss her on the forehead and tell her to sleep.
“Would ye like to walk in the garden?” Esme asked her. “I need fresh air.”
Catriona practically jumped up, glad to be away from the stuffiness of the room. As much as she was delighted to be with the women, she wanted time alone to ask Esme questions.
Seeming to sense they were not invited, no one made to join them.
“What is going on?” Esme asked as soon as their privacy was ensured. “Ye seem totally unchanged at being bedded by yer husband. I expected some sort of...oh, I don’t know. Distress perhaps?”
Catriona let out a breath. Her friend knew her better than anyone else. “It is because nothing has occurred between us. Kisses, caresses, but that is all. I do not believe my husband desires me, which I suppose I should be thankful for.”
“Has he said anything to ye about it?”
Biting her bottom lip, Catriona thought back to their wedding night. “He said that nothing would occur between us until I was ready.”
“And are ye?” Esme asked, studying her with interest. “Do ye think ye are ready?”
“What exactly should I be ready for?”
Esme’s lips curved. “Do ye feel heated? A sort of pooling between yer legs?”
Catriona’s eyes widened at the exact description, especially the night before when Ewan had kissed her longer than the previous times. “Aye. I do. My body seems to crave more.”
“I believe ye are ready.”
“What do I do?” Catriona asked.
Pacing before her, Esme looked up to the sky as if for inspiration. “When a man is aroused, he becomes hard. His member, between his legs.”
Catriona shuddered at the thought of a man’s hardness. She’d experience first-hand what they did with it. It had been painful and humiliating.
“Not like that,” Esme said quickly, seeming to understand where her mind went. “It turns hard, but the skin surrounding it is so very silky.”
“Is it?” Catriona looked at her friend, interested in knowing more.
“Ye will become moist, making it easier for him to enter ye. The heat will only be sated by his cock, not that it’s cool or anything.” Esme giggled. “But the movements…oh, the way he will slip in and out of ye, will bring ye to...”
“What?” Catriona asked, entranced now.
“Well,” Esme looked around to ensure no one could overhear. “It will bring ye to lose all control. Ye will not know whether to scream or laugh at the wonderful culmination it will bring. Then just as ye feel as if ye can take no longer, ye will shatter and float.”
Her eyes rounded. “Float? Ye mean fly? Like a bird?”
At this, Esme guffawed. “No, silly, not physically, but it will feel as if ye’re are indeed flying.”
“It sounds delightful. No wonder ye always are in a hurry to drag Ruari to yer bedchamber,” Catriona exclaimed. “I do not know that I can keep from insisting Ewan take me.” Her face fell. “Does a couple have to be in love for these occurrences to happen?”
Esme frowned. “As long as there is attraction, I think it happens.”
The day dragged by. Every hour seeming to take twice as long. During last meal, Catriona and Esme kept exchanging glances, each doing their best to keep from smiling.
Finally, Ewan turned to her. “What is so funny?”
“I do not know what ye mean,” Catriona replied much too quickly. She bit her bottom lip at the mistake. “I have not laughed.”
“Ye and Esme keep exchanging glances as if ye are sharing a secret.”
“We are,” she admitted. “An anecdote ye would probably not find humor in.”
He let out a sigh and turned his attention back to his plate. Ewan was so utterly handsome, his dark hair framing a face that could only be described as beautiful.
And yet, he remained cool to her. Other than when they were in bed, he paid her little heed.
“Mother and my sister leave in the morning,” she told him. “I will be sad to see them go.”
He glanced in the direction of where her parents were seated. “I am sure they will return for a visit. I have extended an invitation to yer father.”
She’d not considered he may have spent time with her father until that moment. “Ye and he spent time together?”
“Yes, a bit. We went for rides several times.”
“Where to?” Not that it mattered, but she was shocked to know as her mother had not mentioned it.
“He wished to speak to me about ye and about the situation that may present itself. He wanted to make sure I was prepared, for instance, if ye go back into seclusion.”
Her heart broke for her father. Of course, he was worried about her. After all, she’d spent an entire year sequestered in a small room after the attack.
“I hope ye reassured him.”
Ewan gave her a droll look but said nothing. He knew what to expect as he’d been there when she was still reluctant to be around people. Had even gone so far as to attack those who’d participated in hurting her.
It was redundant of her to ask, and yet, she wished for her father not to have any worries. There was already much he’d had to endure.
“I assured yer father,” Ewan, said meeting her gaze, “that I will never expect more from ye than ye can give and, in return, give ye all my faithfulness.”
A vow. It was spoken, however, as if he were telling her the weather outside. Without emotion. Had he said them thus to her father?
Finally, it was time for them to retire. Any thought other than what she intended to happen that night instantly evaporated.
Could she do what Esme had instructed? Was it indeed possible to have enjoyable relations with a man who cared little for one?
It had been almost step by step and quite descriptive. Just thinking about it made her cheeks hot.
When he jo
ined her in the bedchamber and prepared for bed, she’d already climbed into bed. She lay on her side facing his wardrobe and watched as he undressed. “Ewan, are we to leave for Tuath Avon as soon as my family departs?”
He looked over his shoulder at her. Unclothed from the waist up, the muscles of his back mesmerized her as he continued preparing for bed.
“There is no need for us to continue here. I must return. There are many duties awaiting me there. The people have been without attention for far too long.”
“Yes, of course,” she replied and then lifted up to her elbow. “I will need another day. Can we wait? I am going to ask Maisie and her brother to accompany us. She as my personal maid and he to work at the stables. Ye see, they are family and I do not wish to separate them.”
His shoulders lifted and lowered. “Fine.”
When he joined her in bed, Ewan seemed surprised that she looked at him with expectation. Every night before, she’d kept her gaze down, waiting for him to begin the routine of kissing, before he turned away and fell asleep.
For a moment, it was a bit awkward, but he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. It was a perfunctory kiss, not lingering or promising more. “Goodnight.”
Before he could roll over, Catriona cupped his jaw and held it steady as she inched up and close enough to cover his mouth with hers.
Then as Esme had instructed, she allowed her fingers to trail just over his skin down the side of his neck. She let out a sigh and parted her lips.
According to Esme, he would take it as an invitation to push his tongue into her mouth. After which, she was to suckle it gently.
Her heart skipped when he did just that, and she let out a soft moan to encourage him. Then following her precise instructions, she pressed her own tongue against his while at the same time running her hand across his shoulder.
She wore her nightshift and he a light tunic, but the heat of his body seeped past the fabric when he pulled her closer.
They’d gone this far several times, so she was prepared for it, responding to his touch, the lingering of his hand on her hip. But instead of remaining still, as she’d done every night, this time she moved her midsection forward until their bodies touched.
For a moment, she thought she had failed in her attempt at seduction because Ewan stilled. His breathing caught when she broke the kiss and allowed her lips to trail to his ear.
“Make love to me,” she whispered.
It was as if a dam was torn with a single hit, waters exploding forward without restraint.
Ewan took her mouth again, his wonderful body trembling with barely held back passion. He was holding back for her, doing his best not to bring her harm, while at the same time unable to stop from taking what was offered.
Inch by inch, his hand slid up her leg, past her thigh until her night shift was lifted to her waist on one side. She untied the fastenings and pulled the garment up over her head.
Ewan fumbled with his tunic and removed it until there was nothing between them.
Gently, he pulled her close until their bodies touched and then seemed to hold his breath. It was strange how soft his skin felt. At the same time, it was so firm and different. His sex twitched against her lower stomach and Catriona gasped.
Ewan rolled her onto her back. Lying beside her, his sex against her side, he maneuvered himself until his face hovered over hers.
Once again, he took her mouth. The kiss was hard, deep and passionate. At the same time, his fingers skittered across her skin. Each place he touched from the top of her thighs across her stomach was divine torture.
She lifted a bit when his hand lingered just above her sex. Esme had told her that one way a man prepared a woman for intercourse would be to slide their fingers down the center of her sex.
The anticipation made her squirm. Already, she ached for his touch, the heat pooling in her core uncontainable.
When his fingers touched her sex, Catriona let out a moan. “Yes,” she whispered, encouraging him. “Yes.”
Ewan needed no further encouragement. His hand cupped her sex, one finger pushing through the folds and into her wetness. “Ye are more than ready for me,” he murmured.
When he lifted to climb over her, his gaze met hers. “If ye say stop at any time, I will.”
Catriona couldn’t fathom why she’d wish for him to stop. Instead of a reply, she placed her hands on his hips and guided him between her legs. If the man didn’t hurry, she could not take responsibility for her actions.
Then as he took himself in hand and prepared to enter her, she held her breath. She waited for fear, for terror, but when he took her mouth again, all she could sense, feel and smell was Ewan.
And he was all things beautiful and good in her world. Their bodies came together in a way that was perfect, not with hatred or with intent to hurt.
“I will be gentle,” Ewan said and prodded at her entrance. Once again, Catriona held her breath, then slowly released it, recalling what Esme had said.
“In the first moment, when he is about to join with ye, yer instinct will be to hold yer breath and be still. Do not. Instead, relax yer body and prepare for what will be just wonderous.”
He pushed into her, ever so slowly, the entire time kissing and caressing her.
Truthfully, it was pleasant enough, but not as enjoyable as she’d been led to believe. Once fully seated inside, Ewan hesitated.
“Are ye well?” His gaze met hers. “Catriona?”
“Is this it?” she asked. “I thought it was supposed to be wonderous. It is a tight fit is it not?”
He pressed his lips together. She wondered if it was to keep from laughing. Finally, he cleared his throat. “I will begin to move and I believe ye will find that to yer liking.”
“Oh,” she said then, “oh,” again when Ewan pulled out a bit and moved back inside.
The more he drove in and out of her body, the more she wanted him to continue. Every ounce of her being and every sense went taut with anticipation of whatever it was that floated just beyond her touch.
“Ewan,” Catriona exclaimed and dug her fingers into his bottom. “Oh, my...”
She thought she was prepared for what was to happen. Goodness, Esme has been quite explicit, but there were no words, she now realized, for the elation that occurred.
“Ah!” she cried out when something inside her finally gave way and burst, sending tendrils of heat down her legs and up her stomach. Whatever happened, also sent her reeling, the world disappearing until all she could hear was Ewan’s hard breaths and then his own hoarse cry.
He fell over her, still buried deep inside her. A moment later, he shuddered and she wrapped her arms around his waist, needing him to remain still.
They were both wet with perspiration and gasping for breath. Catriona closed her eyes, memorizing the moment. Mentally, she sorted each sound and scent. The soft breeze that fanned over them, the reverberations of the firewood crackling, barely audible over the heaves of their breathing.
The odor of their bodies was different than before lovemaking. It was to be their scent, she imagined.
Then she ran her hands up Ewan’s back and then down to the swell of his bottom.
He lifted and pulled out of her. Then Ewan looked down at her, his face shadowed. “Was it enjoyable to ye?”
“Yes,” she replied quietly. “I do believe it to have been wonderous.”
“Wonderous?” he repeated the word, a touch of humor in the tone. “I agree.”
When he pulled her over his chest and let out a long sigh, she couldn't help but wonder what he thought at the moment. Did he feel more for her than he’d insinuated? Probably not. According to Esme, lovemaking was a natural thing for men, unlike for most women, for whom it was more of an emotional occurrence.
She knew this, of course. Her sister often told her that even when angry, her husband would try to join with her. Catriona had not understood at that time. But now she figured if she was ever cross with Ewan, maki
ng love would be a good way to release emotions.
“Hmph,” she said out loud, then hoped he’d not heard.
“Ye thinking of something?” Ewan asked, his words slurring with sleep.
Catriona let out a breath. “Aye, of things I was told regarding men.”
“Ye should rest,” he said. Then not even a moment later, she heard a soft snore.
The steady lifting and lowering of his chest gave Catriona a sense that Ewan had no worries, and no reason to doubt the days ahead. Sure, he was about to take on many duties but, for him, it was the culmination of his life.
As fourth-born, he could have never aspired to what had just been given to him. He was to be a leader of people and would assume the liability of the people that he was to govern over.
Like her husband, Catriona, too, was about to step into a role so much above her station, she could barely fathom it. Lady Ross was to be her title and, like her husband, her responsibilities were many more than what she could have ever imagined.
There was a shakiness to her breath as she exhaled. Tomorrow, her family would depart and the beginning of a new chapter of her life would begin.
***
“Where is yer husband?” Catriona’s mother asked while wiping tears. “I wish to tell him what a precious gift we leave in his hands.”
She’d not seen him since rising and now that her parents departed, she expected Ewan to be present. “I do not know. He must not be aware that ye are leaving at this moment.”
“We should go,” her father said, giving her a warm look before pulling his wife toward the carriage.
Already, Lady Fraser was in the front carriage, along with her companion. Her parents and Audra were to ride in a separate one. Coming to stand beside her, Esme took her hand. “It is always hard to see Mother off. Then once she’s gone, I am relieved.” Her giggle made Catriona smile, just a bit.
Her friend did her best to distract her from the slight of Ewan not being there to see her parents go. Even though she’d already scanned the courtyard, once again, she looked from one end to the other for a sign of Ewan.
A Fierce Archer (Clan Ross Book 6) Page 17