But her mother had taken her in, sheltered her, fought to keep her there when the others questioned whether Nora belonged there or not.
“She left her lover,” her mother told the others who wanted her out. “He won’t come for her here. He can’t. He abused her. Physically.”
Although it turned Nora’s stomach to hear her mother tell the lie, she’d kept quiet, praying that the others would take pity on her and let her stay. And finally they had. Nora had been given her own room, chores to do, and orders to keep her head down and cause no trouble. She’d caused trouble, of course. Couldn’t be helped. It was her nature. In her loneliness there at the house, she started to write a story about a girl running away from a man. Nora could see the girl in her mind’s eye, see her racing through trees, turning her head back every few seconds to see who followed her. And Nora had whispered to the girl in her mind, “Don’t run. He’s the only one you don’t have to be afraid of....” And with that one sentence, that one idea, she’d written her first book, The Runaway.
For that book alone, the book that changed her life, she’d be forever grateful for her year of limbo in that house with her mother. Søren once said that book had been her way of writing herself out of hell. But it hadn’t been hell in the house. Hell was leaving Søren. Hell was staying away from him. Behind the gates that Nora drove through…that was mere purgatory. And it was to purgatory she now returned.
Hell punished sin. Purgatory burned it away. She’d like to keep her sins, thank you very much. No matter how much they hurt.
Nora parked the car and headed for the main house. Finding the bell at the wrought-iron gate, Nora rang it and waited.
“Yes, child?” came a weak voice from an ancient face behind the gate.
“My name is Eleanor Schreiber.” Nora waited to see if the woman remembered her.
The old woman smiled and nodded.
“I’ll find her for you.”
“Thank you,” Nora said, entirely without gratitude.
She heard the sound of cloth scraping the ground as the woman shuffled down a hall. A few minutes later younger footsteps approached. A door at the side of the gate opened and two women stepped through—one in her eighties and one in her fifties.
“Sister Mary John, this is your visitor.”
The woman in her fifties heaved a deep sigh.
“Elle? What are you doing here?”
“Hi, Mom.”
* * *
When Michael awoke, the morning rain had dissipated completely and warm white sunlight filled Griffin’s bedroom. He guessed he’d slept to about noon or later, slept deeper and better than he ever had in his life. Griffin’s chest made the best pillow in the world.
Michael laid his hand on Griffin’s rib cage and felt his heart beating steadily against his hand. How had this happened? What had he done to deserve the right to be in Griffin Fiske’s bed with his hand over Griffin’s heart? It seemed the most ridiculous thing in the world. Like a gift. Like a grace. And entirely without meaning to, Michael leaned up and dropped the smallest of kisses on Griffin’s lips.
The touch of their mouths caused Griffin to stir in his sleep. His dark eyelashes fluttered and opened. Michael froze.
“Sorry, sir,” he said in a panic.
“Never be sorry for kissing me, Mick. That’s an order.”
Michael grinned.
“Your orders are really easy to follow, sir.”
“Take your clothes off,” Griffin said without blinking or missing a beat.
Michael’s hands went numb.
“Okay, I take it back.”
Rolling up, Griffin cupped the side of Michael’s face. With his thumb he caressed the arch of Michael’s cheekbone. With his fingertips Griffin kneaded the soft skin underneath Michael’s ear.
“I’ll help.”
Reaching out, Griffin gathered the fabric of Michael’s T-shirt in his hands and pulled it up. Michael hesitated before lifting his arms to help the process along.
“I’m so fucking skinny and you’re so—”
Griffin clamped his hand over Michael’s mouth as he sent the T-shirt flying across the room.
“I have the most beautiful sub in the world in my bed. If you insult him, the punishment will be swift and severe.” Griffin gave Michael a stern glare. “Understand me?”
“Yes, sir.” Michael nodded in penitence even as his heart soared at Griffin’s words.
“I have wanted to do this for weeks.” Griffin ran his hands through Michael’s hair, down his neck and back, over his arms and down his chest and stomach. “Icing you up after your first night with Nora, I thought it would kill me. I’d never needed to touch someone or kiss someone so much in my life.”
“Really?” Michael’s mind boggled at the confession. He couldn’t believe the entire time he’d been aching for Griffin, Griffin had been equally pining for him.
“Really. Swear to God, Mick, it’s nearly killed me not to touch you for so long. Like this…” Griffin pressed his thumb into the hollow of Michael’s throat. “And this…” Griffin ran his hand down the center of Michael’s back from the nape of his neck to the small of his back. “And this…” Griffin pressed his hand between Michael’s legs and cupped his testicles. Michael inhaled and closed his eyes.
“We don’t…” Griffin began and stopped. “It’s a big deal, letting a guy inside you. We don’t have to do that yet. We can wait as long as you need or want. I don’t mind. There’s a lot of other stuff we can do. And I’m a little on the big side so I don’t want to hurt you. We can wait. We should wait.”
Michael opened his eyes and looked at Griffin.
“I want you inside me,” he said simply. He reached out and dug his fingers into Griffin’s biceps. “I will beg you for it if you order me to. And I’ll beg you for it even if you don’t.”
Griffin looked at Michael with an expression on his face he’d never seen before. No, he corrected. He had seen it. Often. On Father S’s face during prayer. It was love mingled with reverence. Reverence…for him?
The reverence quickly morphed to unabashed, unadulterated lust as Griffin gripped Michael’s shoulders and pushed him down hard onto his back. Their mouths met, their tongues intermingled…Griffin’s hips pushed into Michael’s. Michael trembled as he felt the full force of Griffin’s hunger for him pressed against his stomach. But he wanted this, needed this. All summer long he’d waited for this. He wouldn’t let fear stop him. He’d worry about what his father thought tomorrow, what the world would say. Today all that mattered was Griffin.
“Stay here,” Griffin said as he pulled himself up and off of Michael. Michael nodded and lay perfectly still on his back, panting. He didn’t watch Griffin, merely stared at the ceiling. He could definitely get used to staring at Griffin’s ceiling.
Griffin returned to the bed with rope cuffs in his hand and a smile on his face.
“Up,” Griffin ordered and Michael came to his feet.
He stood in front of Griffin and inhaled with pleasure as Griffin took Michael’s forearms in his hands and bound them with the rope cuffs behind his back. Michael wondered why his forearms at first and not his wrists. Then he remembered his fresh tattoos. He’d almost forgotten about them. But Griffin hadn’t.
“Now…” Griffin said with a sensual smile. “Down.”
Michael hit his knees without hesitation or a word of protest. Ever since witnessing Nora doing this to Griffin six weeks ago, he’d dreamed of going do
wn on his knees like this. Griffin pulled off his boxer briefs and tossed them aside. Yes…Michael took a deep breath. Just like this.
Griffin slid into Michael’s mouth. Michael discerned the subtle hint of salt on his tongue and relished finally knowing what Griffin tasted like. He took as much of Griffin into his mouth as he could. Nora had done this to him several times this summer, but he still didn’t have much of a clue what he was doing.
“It’s okay, Mick. Go easy on yourself,” Griffin said, twining his hands in Michael’s hair. “It feels amazing.”
The slight catch in Griffin’s voice stoked Michael on. Somehow Michael had managed to do something right. Right enough that Griffin had to call a stop to it.
“Yeah, that was as amazing as I dreamed about. Too amazing,” Griffin said, pulling out of Michael’s mouth. “Don’t want to end this before it begins.”
Griffin reached down, grabbed Michael by the arm and hauled him to his feet. As Griffin reached behind him and pulled off the rope cuffs, Michael pressed a kiss onto Griffin’s muscular shoulder.
Griffin stopped moving but Michael kept kissing.
“Is this okay?” he whispered as his mouth moved from Griffin’s shoulder to his neck.
“God, yes, it’s okay.” Griffin tilted his head to the side to give Michael better access to his throat. “Mick…I want to do something if you’re okay with it.”
“Anything, sir.”
Griffin gave a low, throaty laugh.
“Let me tell you what it is before you say yes to it.”
“Okay, sir.” Michael bit lightly at Griffin’s earlobe and was rewarded with a sharp intake of air. Biting…Griffin liked biting. Awesome.
“I want to go bare with you. You can say no.”
Michael stopped in the midst of a protracted kiss of Griffin’s collarbone.
“You mean…?”
Griffin nodded. Michael hadn’t forgotten their conversation from weeks ago when Griffin revealed he’d never in his life had had sex without using a condom. He’d said it was the one thing he held back so he’d have something to give if he was ever in a real relationship with someone.
And Griffin wanted to give that part of himself to Michael.
“Yes. Yes, definitely, sir. Absolutely, yes.”
“Mick, what are you trying to say?”
Michael laughed and leaned into Griffin, who wrapped his arms around him.
“Yes, sir!” Michael shouted the words and laughed as Griffin gave him a wide-eyed look of shock.
“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you raise your voice at all.”
“Yeah…” Michael shrugged. “I didn’t know I could do that.”
Griffin cupped Michael’s neck with both hands.
“I like it. I like hearing you. I always want to hear you,” Griffin said and dropped a quick but sensual kiss on Michael’s lips. “I want to hear you talk.” He dipped his head and kissed Michael’s throat. “And I want to hear you shout.” He bit Michael’s earlobe. “And I want to hear you beg.” Griffin reached between their bodies, slipped his hand into Michael’s boxers and took him in his hand. “And I want to hear you come.”
Michael shivered at Griffin’s words. Closing his eyes he lowered his head and leaned against Griffin.
“And…” Griffin said, running his hands up Michael’s back. “I want to hear you laugh.”
With one shove, Griffin pushed Michael and sent him sprawling across the bed. Michael laughed riotously as Griffin crawled on top of him and pinned him hard to the mattress.
“Good boy. Now don’t move. I’m going to fuck you in a few minutes.”
Griffin moved away again and Michael tried to do his slow deep breathing that Nora had taught him. But nothing could get him to anything remotely resembling a place of peace or Zen. He’d never wanted anything so much in his life like he wanted Griffin inside him. Fuck Zen.
Michael watched as Griffin came to the side of the bed with two black silk sashes and some gauze.
“Tying you up is going to be a lot easier when the damn tats heal,” Griffin said, grinning as he gently placed gauze pads over Michael’s wrists. “I’ve got leather cuffs, handcuffs, rope cuffs…and I plan on using every last one of them on you. For the next month though, we better stick to gauze and silk.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Michael said as he let Griffin bind his wrists. “You don’t have to tie me up.”
Griffin grinned. “Of course I don’t have to. I want to. And you want me to. Don’t you?”
Michael blushed but couldn’t deny the truth.
“Desperately.”
“Desperately, huh?” Griffin repeated as he tied the silk sashes around one of the bedposts. Michael had to turn onto his side to get into a comfortable position. On his side…okay, so this was how it was going to happen. “You’ve been spending too much time with Nora and her damn adverbs. Comfortable?”
“Yes, sir,” Michael said, looking up at Griffin, who laid his hand briefly on Michael’s face.
“You’ll be okay. We’ll stop if it hurts. You talk to me the entire time. That’s an order.”
Michael’s heart clenched at Griffin’s tender concern for him. So this is what being loved felt like? Like somebody out there cared more about what he wanted and needed than what they wanted and needed… Weird.
Griffin climbed into bed again and sat at Michael’s hip. Slowly Griffin eased Michael’s boxers down his legs. As Griffin stripped him completely naked, Michael stared off into the corner of the room. Even the night of their threesome, Michael had kept his boxers on during the sex. Griffin had never seen him naked before.
Michael winced at his boxers hit the floor by the side of the bed. But Griffin made no comment. Instead he kissed the side of Michael’s thigh and worked his way up to Michael’s hips.
The featherlight kisses on never-before-kissed parts of his body sent Michael trembling on the edge of orgasm.
“I want you to come first,” Griffin said, taking Michael in his hand again and lightly stroking. “You’ll be more relaxed. Relaxed is what we want.”
Griffin’s hand did amazing things to him. Nora knew how to touch a guy. He had no complaints where her technique was concerned. But Griffin was so strong and yet the way he touched Michael so gentle.... Griffin’s other hand gripped the back of Michael’s neck. Griffin put his mouth on Michael’s shoulder and bit down hard. The mix of pleasure and pain did Michael in. With a gasp he came in Griffin’s hand with an orgasm that seemed to go on forever.
“Oh, God.” Michael leaned forward and breathed into the sheets.
“I plan on practicing that until I’m making you scream when you come.”
“From the orgasm or the biting?” Michael asked.
“Both.”
Griffin lay down next to Michael and pressed his chest into Michael’s back. For a few minutes they did nothing but lie silently spooned together as Griffin ran his hand over Michael’s body. The rhythm of Griffin’s touch lulled Michael into an almost hypnotic trance. Every muscle in his body started to unknot. Every ounce of anxiety seeped out of his skin and into the sheets.
When Griffin opened the bottle of lube, Michael barely heard it. Nothing registered except Griffin’s touch, his nearness.
“Just fingers first,” Griffin said. “I’m sure you did this with Nora.”
“Yeah. I’m good there,” Michael said, lifting his leg to his chest as the cold liquid met his warm skin. Almost torturously
slowly, Griffin’s fingers slid inside Michael. “Very good.”
Griffin laughed as he nuzzled the back of Michael’s neck with kisses.
“Glad you like it. Anything feel bad? Feel weird? I want you to tell me.”
“Feels amazing.”
“Amazing is what we’re going for. This will be even better when you’re healed up completely and I’ve beaten the hell out of you first. Sex after S&M is a new kind of amazing. Well, I guess you know that after all this time with Nora.”
“I do,” Michael said. “But I don’t how it is with you. And I can’t wait.”
“Me neither. Okay, three fingers? Good? Bad?”
“Good. More than good.” Michael felt open and relaxed. The orgasm had helped with some of the tension but really it was Griffin, just Griffin, who could make all the stress go away. Michael loved Nora and adored her. But she had a wildness to her, an unpredictable side that fascinated him, but scared him too. With Griffin though…with Griffin he felt safe.
“More than good,” Griffin said. “That’s an understatement. God, Mick. I can’t believe how good you feel. I have to be inside you. I don’t think I can wait any longer.”
Michael pulled against the sashes on his wrists as Griffin pushed up deeper into him.
“Then don’t wait.”
Griffin slid his fingers out and Michael heard the sound of the lube bottle again. More of the cold liquid covered him and Michael opened his eyes and stared at his bound hands. Whenever he’d fantasized about this moment with Griffin, he’d always imagined the fear and how he would have to fight to overcome it. But now he felt no fear at all. Nothing but hunger, passion, need.
And love.
The Angel (The Original Sinners) Page 34