So I’m not just a programmer any more.
The bad part of all this, though, is that I only have about three hours a day to actually work on the damn thing.
May 31, 1989
Spent the morning rewriting the box copy. That’s a load off my mind, for the moment.
More problems with the IBM conversion. Jim just isn’t putting in the hours. He’s getting muscled by Atari to keep putting more last-minute fixes into his other, supposedly finished project, and Doug Greene is getting pissed at him.
I called Jim and told him he’d have to choose between Atari’s project and mine. A difficult conversation. I’m not used to being the one who lays down the law. I gave him a couple of days to think it over.
Tomi is back! I showed her the game. She was duly impressed, especially by the palace background graphics, the fighting skeleton, and the upside-down and weightless potions.
Stayed till 11 pm with Robert, designing levels.
June 3, 1989
All hell is breaking loose in China.
Meanwhile, I rented a camcorder and spent the morning videotaping Michael J. Coffey at his apartment. I think I got everything I need. Can’t wait to digitize it.
June 4, 1989
It’s my birthday. I’m 25 years old.
Put in the potion-drinking animation. It looks really good but takes up more memory than I’d expected, which is a problem.
Sometimes I feel like I must be no fun at all. Bored and boring. Burnt out and empty inside. Not depressed – just tired.
Maybe I’m just working too hard.
Beta
June 5, 1989
The new animations I shot with Mike are going in very quickly. Already the “potion drinking,” “unsheathing your sword,” and “collapsing” are up and running.
The only big ones left are:
climb stairs
pick up sword and hold it up
sheathe sword
“alert turn” for guard
“collapse” for guard
I think I can squeeze it all into the available memory, except for “climb stairs”; that one might need a disk access. I could live with that.
My major achievement today, though, was to completely redesign the first two levels to make them more fun to play. There’s more freedom now, more exploration, more rewards. The previous versions were rather humorless – you go from A to B to C and if you mess up, you die.
Level 3 is still pretty punishing and bleak. I don’t know quite what to do about it. I guess I’ll hand it in to QA like this and see what they think.
Level 4 is pretty good.
Level 5 is nonexistent.
Levels 6, 7, and 8 are pretty good, although they need work.
I guess tomorrow I’d better come up with a Level 5. Then my “beta version” will at least have the first two-thirds of the game.
There’s no getting around it. To achieve the reasonably complete, reasonably bug-free beta version I’d hoped to deliver tomorrow will take me another solid week’s work.
Should I ask QA to hold off for a couple of days (how humiliating!) or just turn in what I’ve got and then give them an updated version a week from now?
June 6, 1989
“B-Day”
An extremely productive twelve-hour day. I fixed lots of bugs, designed a brand-new level (5), and hard-wired the shadow man to steal your potions. Another couple of hours to make sure it all fits together smoothly, and I think I’ve got a beta version.
One day late.
Boy, will Brian be impressed.
In the middle of it all Doug Greene called to say he thinks he’ll probably pull out of the project at the end of the trial period.
I’ve pretty much had it with Doug and Jim. They’re good programmers, but enough is enough. I should have listened to Doug when he said no in the first place, instead of working so hard to change his mind.
I went and talked to Glenn for an hour about Alick D. Glenn says he’s a good programmer, but the bad blood between him and Broderbund could be a problem.
I need to teach the little animated character not to draw his sword when the other little animated character who’s trying to kill him is on the other side of a pair of snapping steel jaws.
June 7, 1989
Incredibly, I turned the game in to QA today. Now the real fun begins. Six weeks to finish the whole thing.
The Apple market is dying. It’s definitely affected the level of enthusiasm for Prince of Persia within the company. No matter how hard I try to convince people that there’s going to be an IBM version, they’re behaving as if there isn’t one. I found out today from Nancy and David that Latricia/Sophie balked at spending $5,500 for the box art. After making the rounds and lobbying everyone, I think they’ll OK it, but the whole thing was a really disturbing vote of no-confidence in POP.
Kevin in QA gave me more of the same. When I told him I hoped to ship August 29, he shook his head gravely and said he’s been mandated to put two men full-time on Carmen Sandiego 4 and two on some other product, which leaves no one to test the beta version of POP I handed in today.
It pisses me off.
I shouldn’t be surprised. When has Broderbund ever thrown its weight behind a game? Choplifter, Lode Runner, Karateka all made it on their own, on the strength of good reviews and word-of-mouth.
There’s no one looking out for me, no one to go to bat for POP. Brian is out of town, Sophie is an idiot, and Latricia – despite Doug’s instructions to the contrary – is leaving everything up to Sophie.
I should probably be putting more energy into trying to cultivate these people and work up some enthusiasm for my project; but what with having to actually design and program it (not to mention documentation, box copy, IBM conversion, etc), I just can’t spare the time.
Meanwhile, the IBM conversion, which I need so desperately, has fallen victim to Doug Greene’s angst.
Oh well, it’s a cold cruel world out there. If I’m going to be a movie director someday I’d better learn to deal with it.
June 8, 1989
I don’t think I have it in me to write and direct films. Where is the strength going to come from to persevere, to fight all those battles, when even this current situation with Broderbund – near-ideal as it is – is burning me out? Have I ever had what it takes? Am I losing it? Give me a signal; show me a sign. Where’s the meaning in all this? Nobody cares about the fucking game, not even me. Why am I doing this?
If POP is a hit and the royalties start flowing again and my bank account swells and the fan mail rolls in, will my spirits also soar? What if it’s a dud – if the Apple market is truly dead and the IBM version is delayed and Nintendo doesn’t pan out – will it break my heart? All that wasted work. What will I do next? Will I deal with failure as well as I dealt with success?
Robert’s going off to Yale
Corey’s gone off to Harvard
Doug’s going to cash out
What happens to me when this part of the story is over?
Got to have faith. Faith in my game. Faith in myself. Lighten up. Nobody wants to be around someone who’s stressed out and in the dumps. Got to rise to the occasion. Charm everyone around me with my youthful enthusiasm, unshakeable optimism, etc.
These are 2:30 am thoughts. I know I’ll feel cheerful and serene in the morning if I can just get to sleep. Just shut down my mind and make it through the night.
You can’t talk in your sleep if you can’t sleep.
Oh God, I see why people take sleeping pills.
June 9, 1989
In the morning I put in the stair-climbing, and in the evening, the sword-sheathing.
In between I wandered the halls of Broderbund in search of human interactio
n, dropped a disk off on Doug’s desk, and ended up demoing the entire first six levels for a group that started out as just Ed Badasov and Sophie K, and expanded to include Rob, Greg Hammond, Henry, and Tom Marcus, about ten people in all. They were wowed. The whole room gasped in unison whenever the little guy had an especially close call. They groaned as one when he bit the dust. They were thrilled by the skeleton and the potions and the swordfighting and the shadow man. Basically, it all works. Hardly one of the touches I’d put in went unappreciated. It was a real vindication of all that effort.
Even Sophie, who knows nothing about games, got excited. She kept saying “This is the first game I’ve seen that I can really get into!” She made a point of telling me, not once but twice, that she’s given Nancy the go-ahead to hire the “expensive” $5,500 box artist. “It’s going to be a great package,” she said.
Here I was afraid I’d alienated Sophie by strong-arming her over the phone yesterday about the box art, and today she’s practically fawning in an effort to make sure I’m pleased. It’s true: People like you better if you stand up for yourself. There’s no percentage in being self-effacing and making them think they can walk all over you.
Good (anyway, better) news from Jim St. Louis. He is working, and he says Doug has cheered up somewhat. God, I hope it works out.
Talked to Roland too and got him all fired up to do the Mac version. Only trouble is, he’s locked into Print Shop Companion at least until August.
Despair has been banished.
June 10, 1989
Accomplished relatively little today – just cleaned up a few animations and diddled around. Sent out new packets to Doug, Jim, and just-hired artist Robert F. Showed the game to Lauren Elliott. I’d better work this weekend.
June 20, 1989
Took Lance to lunch and tried to woo him out into the world of independent programmers. He was tantalized (and totally gung-ho about POP – he thinks he could do it in four months, working in his spare time), but I don’t think he’d seriously consider forsaking the security of his salaried position.
Promised Brian screen shots by next Tuesday. The photo shoot is set up for 2 pm Wednesday.
June 11, 1989
Spent this sunny Saturday alone in the office listening to Götterdämmerung and trying to draw a decent room for the princess to live in. On my way out, I swung by 77 Mark to see if anyone was there. Found Doug playing solitaire on his Mac II. He invited me on a river rafting trip on the Salmon River in Idaho at the end of July. I said yes. I ought to be done with the game by then. If not, five days off should do me good.
Could it be that I have a mild manic-depressive affective disorder? Last week I was depressed. Now I’m bouncing off the walls. It’s a desperate, manic kind of energy, and I can’t say I’m happy, but I will say this: The colors seem brighter. The air seems cleaner. The sun is warmer, the rain is wetter, the mist is mistier. The stacks of plates on the Nautilus machines go up and down easier and I can feel my blood pumping with every heartbeat. I don’t know why, or how long this will last, but I like it a whole lot better than going through the day half-asleep.
June 12, 1989
Did some fine-tuning on the guards’ swordfighting program and related issues. Wrote a letter to Dad all about the music for POP.
June 13, 1989
Eleven hours at the office. I put in comic-book-style impact stars like the ones in Karateka. It helps a lot. It only took three hours. A very good thing to have done.
I’m worried about Jim. I’m starting to wonder if this wasn’t a big mistake. He acts like a good, old-school programmer, but the further along we get, the more it seems like he’s doing all these things for the first time.
Brian strongly advised me not to hire Alick, but said it was up to me.
I signed on for this river trip to Idaho. It’s expensive. The other three people going with Doug are Robert Garriott (president of Origin Systems), Ken Wasch (pres. of the SPA), and Laurent Weill (pres. of Loriciel). As an act of self-definition, this trip terrifies me. It’s the sort of trip that Ed Bernstein and Steve Patrick would go on. I’m 10-20 years younger than these guys and my personal fortune is comparatively miniscule, but sooner or later I’ve got to stop presenting myself to the world as a meek and nerdy kid.
Everyone has their own particular form of self-destruction. Mine, I’m starting to think, is standing outside myself, watching myself live my life, turning my face so as to give the cameras a better angle, and thus missing the whole thing.
June 14, 1989
Greg Hammond has been playing POP and is just so excited. It’s incredibly gratifying. I dropped by QA and watched Randy and Will playing it. Yup – it definitely works. I’m not crazy. The only questions are (1) will I finish on time and (2) will there be an Apple market left and (3) can we get the conversions out fast enough?
June 15, 1989
Roland’s going to start coming into the office on Thursdays and Fridays. With Robert gone, I really appreciated the companionship.
June 16, 1989
Everyone at Broderbund is being nice to me. They think my game is hot. Bill McDonagh told me POP is going to be a #2 testing priority (“Don’t worry, they go way lower than 2,” he added dryly). I asked him what I needed to do to make it a #1. He said: “Get the IBM conversion done!” Ha ha.
Brian, however, said that the QA guys told him: “We don’t care what priority this is – in our book it’s a #1.” They’ve been playing it after hours and on their lunch breaks.
June 19, 1989
We’re dead with Doug and Jim. I need to find a new IBM programmer fast. And I’m out three thousand bucks.
I’ve talked to Alick, and half-seriously to Lance (who is a salaried employee of Broderbund). Also considering a couple of conversion houses, like Don Daglow’s; but as The Connelley Group proved on IBM Karateka, the comfort of having an organization is largely illusory. It still comes down to one programmer in the end.
I stopped off in Mill Valley on my way home and had a Bordenave Burger at Phyllis’s. There was a smell of honeysuckle, or something, in the air that broke my heart, it was so beautiful.
Had lunch with Tom Marcus today. I’m trying to grow up.
It Takes a Villiage
June 22, 1989
Went to Las Parrillas in San Rafael for Diana Slade’s goodbye dinner with a dozen other Broderbund receptionists past and present, who all seemed to be about 21. Brian, Peter LaDeau, Matt Siegel and I were the only guys in a sea of Kerris and Kristys.
Afterwards we all went next door to George’s and Brian gave me a serious talking-to about the IBM conversion. He said that Bill McD, after consultation with Gary and Doug, is planning to make me an offer to do IBM POP as an in-house conversion – ideally, by Lance – at a “reasonable royalty” that “takes everyone’s interests into account.” Meaning they’d go up from the contractual 6%. This is good news. It means they’re as anxious to get the IBM conversion going as I am. As Brian said: “You have to shit or get off the pot.”
I’ve been sitting on this pot for months now, doing a lot of groaning and pushing, and I have absolutely nothing to show for it. And I’m out $3,250.
June 23, 1989
Doug came up to me at Happy Hour and said cheerfully: “Hoist on your own petard!” Four years ago, I asked for – and got – the contractual right of first refusal to do my own conversions. They don’t give programmers that right any more, and my flailing about with Doug Greene and Jim St. Louis has just proved why.
I understood what Doug was saying. They’re going to make me an offer, and I should accept it.
June 24, 1989
Peter LaDeau rescued me from the office (“Come on, man, what are you doing here?”) and brought me to Brian’s house and then to the Gemini Party in Corte Madera. My third night in a row partying with my pro
duct manager.
Everybody is convinced POP is going to be a megahit. “It’s another Choplifter!” said Chris Jochumson. Of course, nobody knows anything, but it’s still heartening.
June 25, 1989
I’m supposed to have three screen shots ready by Wednesday. To say after two and a half years: “This is it – this is what the game looks like, it’s never going to get any better – you can go ahead and photograph it and put it on the box.” This terrifies me.
I’m waiting for Doug or Bill or Gary to call and make me the offer I can’t refuse. Will it be 7%? 8%? 10%? I wish they’d surprise me and offer 10%. But knowing how tight they are with money, I’m expecting between 6 and 7%.
Each royalty point could be worth as much as $10-15,000. So the stakes are quite high. I should drive as hard a bargain as I can.
On the other hand, I’m doing this for love too, not just money.
June 26, 1989
Got a call from Brian inviting me to meet with him and Bill tomorrow afternoon. Guess this is it.
I passed through the programmers’ area this morning and was nearly swamped by praise, some of it tinged with envy. “I hear Prince of Persia’s going to be a megahit,” said Glenn. “I guess lightning does strike twice.”
“I hope you’ve begun your training,” Doug remarked at Gary’s birthday party Thursday. “Heavy weights… endurance… holding your breath for two minutes underwater. Remember, this rafting trip is less than six weeks away.”
June 27, 1989
Bill surprised me. He offered 8%, to go up to 10% after 30,000 units have been sold. It’s such a fair offer, it practically restored my faith in Broderbund singlehandedly. It’s not definite that Lance will be the one to do the conversion, but it seems pretty likely.
I’m happy.
Box sketch came in today. Total nightmare. Not the sketch, but the process of dealing with Paul and others to agree on what to tell the artist. Paul has zero interpersonal skills.
The Making of Prince of Persia: Journals 1985-1993 Page 7