When Leo Hunter had pursued him to work at the Hunter Clinic he’d thought the guy was crazy. His world had just collapsed around him and Leo had wanted him to up sticks and move to another part of the country?
But Leo had understood him better than he’d understood himself. He’d known he would never be able to pull himself up if he stayed in the family home, with the same work colleagues with their averted eyes and sad expressions. The move to London had been exactly what he’d needed at the time. Apart from Leo, no one knew about his wife. He’d skirted around the edges of any potentially difficult conversations, avoiding any personal details.
London was easy to lose yourself in. And the clientele coming to and from the Hunter Clinic had more to worry about than the personal background of their surgeon. And it was better that way. It really was.
Iain walked into his vast kitchen and pulled a glass from the cupboard, pressing it against the dispenser on his stainless-steel fridge. A beautiful kitchen that he hardly used. Just like the rest of this house.
He climbed the staircase to his bedroom, peeled off his jacket, trousers, shirt and tie, not bothering to hang them up. He’d have to be up in a few hours to get to Princess Catherine’s for surgery and he had a whole rail of identical business suits in the cupboard.
He sank into the bed with white Egyptian cotton sheets. Praying that tonight—even for a few hours—he might get a few hours’ precious sleep.
But it wasn’t to be.
It seemed that it wasn’t only the scent of Lexi Robbins that had pervaded his memory. He sat bolt upright in bed, sweat pouring from his body.
This was why he’d purposefully been avoiding Lexi Robbins.
He’d known it. Right from the first time he’d seen her and he’d felt a skitter of impulses across his shoulders that he couldn’t be around her. He couldn’t be near her.
He leant forward and wiped the sweat from his brow. Erotic dreams weren’t the norm for Iain. But when Lexi’s firm breasts had pressed against the planes of his chest it had left an indelible imprint. Not just on his skin.
Those tiny, fleeting thoughts that hadn’t even taken up a second in his brain when he’d had her pressed down on the examination couch had just taken front and centre stage in his mind in all their erotic beauty. Dreams like that had more than one obvious effect on the body.
He’d never be able to look Lexi Robbins in the eye today. It was almost as if he could smell her here, now.
He jumped from the bed and walked through to the en suite, flicking the switch on the shower then coming back and gulping the glass of water at the side of his bed. Was he going crazy? He could smell Lexi Robbins.
Then he remembered how close they’d been. He snatched his crumpled shirt from the floor and pressed it to his nose. There. Not the smell of his own aftershave. The smell of her.
That heady, exotic smell that left an invisible pied-piper trail wherever she went. That was what had caused the dream. Nothing else.
The shirt had been lying at his bedside and her scent had obviously drifted up and around him while he’d slept. How could this woman find a way into his dreams?
Guilt flooded through him, seeping in through every pore on his body. The hot sweat instantly turned cold, chilling his skin. Bonnie. That’s who he should have been dreaming about. No one else.
Steam was starting to billow from the shower. He stalked back through and instantly turned the switch to cold. That was what he needed. Icy, cold, blasting water to wash away any unwanted thoughts or feelings.
He stepped into the freezing water, shuddering as it came into contact with his skin. There was no point going back to sleep now.
Not if Lexi Robbins was going to feature in his dreams again.
CHAPTER FOUR
‘MORNING, MORNING.’ LEXI nodded at the sea of faces in and around the theatres at Princess Catherine’s, or Kate’s, where the Hunter Clinic had an arrangement to perform adult surgery. Children’s surgery was carried out at the Lighthouse Children’s Hospital.
Lexi had thought she’d be in good stead, turning up early. But early seemed to be normal in the theatres here.
She’d followed all the instructions carefully. Even though she wouldn’t be near any patients, she’d removed the nail varnish from her fingernails, ensured her face was scrubbed clean of any make-up and left her perfume and jewellery at home. She didn’t want to give Iain McKenzie any reason not to let her shadow him today.
And her stomach was churning a little. Nerves. Lots of them. Most of the world saw Lexi Robbins as a together, sorted woman. She didn’t reveal the insecure woman that hid away underneath. The person who was horrified to be here with a bare face and pulled-back hair.
It was odd, but she felt strangely safe here. No paparazzi were going to jump out from a corner and snap her, showing the world she wasn’t as beautiful as her mother. No one here cared. Everyone here had one purpose in mind—excellent patient care. It was almost a relief to know she could fade into the background.
Kate’s was buzzing. There was a rainbow of coloured scrubs around her. She’d been under the illusion that everyone wore the same-coloured scrubs, but Kate’s had scrubs in every colour, shape and size. One of the theatre nurses had pointed her to a laundry cupboard and told her to help herself. So she had, and she was currently sporting pale pink scrubs and white clogs.
‘Ready?’
The deep voice behind her made her jump. ‘Oh, Iain. Great. I was waiting for you.’
The words seemed to come out all wrong and she could feel the colour rushing into her face. She might have guessed it. Even dressed in navy scrubs there was no disguising his broad frame and muscles. If she was going to have to watch that muscled back all day she might as well just go and lie down in a corner now.
‘I’ve already spoken to Aida. She signed a disclaimer. She’s more than happy for you to watch her surgery—you can even film it if you like.’
Lexi cleared her throat. ‘Actually, it’s you we would be filming, Iain. We don’t intend to focus on the patient. Just let people see your expertise at work.’
‘Whatever.’ He gave a shrug and pushed open the door to the theatre. ‘After you …’
She nodded and brushed past his arm as he held the door open for her. No contact. That’s what she’d been telling herself all night. Seems like she’d broken her first rule already.
She tried to back herself into a corner as the rest of the staff moved in perfect unison around the theatre. Iain and one of his colleagues scrubbing meticulously at the sinks. The nurses opening up theatre packs, the anaesthetist and his assistant bringing Aida into Theatre and talking to her quietly and calmly as they put her under.
Lexi could feel herself holding her breath as the drapes were placed around Aida and her skin cleaned with betadine. Wow. Scars like she’d never seen before.
Iain’s brown eyes connected with hers above his mask. He nodded towards her. ‘Step a little closer, Lexi.’
Her feet moved forward, even though her body wanted to remain pinned against the wall.
‘This is the reason that Aida isn’t being operated on by a general plastic surgeon.’ His gloved hand pointed at her scarring. ‘She has significant scarring caused by her previous surgery. This operation isn’t just about replacing her implants, it’s about reducing the scarring and trying to give her the best possible outcome.’
Lexi nodded behind her mask. ‘Why does she have scars like that?’
Iain spoke slowly. ‘All patients react differently to surgery. Some form thick, keloid scars, others hypertrophic scars like these. It’s to do with collagen in the skin. The most important aspect for Aida isn’t what I do today—although that’s obviously important—it’s more about her aftercare to minimise scarring.’
‘But if she’s prone to scarring, is there anything you can do to avoid it?’
‘We’ll monitor Aida very closely. We can use various things after surgery to reduce inflammation and scarring. A series of s
teroid injections might be appropriate or silicone gel sheeting used to flatten the scar. Aida knows that she has to follow my instructions to the letter for her aftercare. It was the only reason I agreed to do her surgery in the first place.’
Lexi could feel the hairs rise at the back of her neck. Iain wasn’t joking. She could just imagine how stern he’d been with Aida before agreeing to her surgery. The scarring was a complete surprise to her. She was sure she’d seen semi-naked pictures of Aida before, and nothing had been noticeable. How had she managed that?
Of course. The beauty of photographic touch-ups. She knew better than anyone how fickle the beauty industry was. As long as they got the picture they wanted it didn’t matter how they got it—or whether it was an accurate portrayal of the person or not.
Her feet moved slowly backwards, edging towards the wall again. She wished she’d known about the surgery beforehand and had given herself a little time to prepare. Watching breast surgery and having breast surgery were two entirely different things. In a way she was glad she’d slept through her own surgery and had never had to think too much about it all. She had to press her hands against the cool wall to stop herself automatically lifting them and holding them against her breasts.
She glanced downwards. There they were. Perfect, in every way.
If only she’d got them because she’d wanted them and not because someone else had criticised her. It almost made her feel like a fool.
But she was stronger now. More resilient.
She was happy with her shape and regardless of anyone else’s opinion she had more confidence like this.
Iain’s concentration was intense in Theatre. Woe betide anyone who interrupted the master at work. But the theatre staff were comfortable with him, obviously used to his techniques and procedures. He hardly needed to utter an instruction.
The surgery flew past. Quickly followed by another, more standard breast enlargement. He turned to face her as he scrubbed for yet another surgery.
‘Now would be a good time to grab a quick bite,’ he said to Lexi.
As if on cue, her stomach gave a low rumble. ‘Haven’t you finished yet?’
He shook his head. ‘Not by a long shot. I’ve got some reconstructive surgery to do on a professional football player’s knee and then some facial surgery on a lady with head and neck cancer. That one will last around four hours.’
Lexi tried to stop her jaw from hitting the floor when she realised exactly how long Iain would be in Theatre. ‘I didn’t know you did things like that. If that surgery will take so long, shouldn’t it have been done first?’
He gave a little nod of acknowledgement. ‘You’re right. We normally do the most complicated surgery first but Carol Kennedy has enough on her plate. She wanted to keep things as normal as possible. She wanted to drop her kids at school today and has told them that she’s got business in the city for a few days.’
Lexi felt a little tug at her heart as she recognised the name of the well-known TV presenter. ‘She has head and neck cancer?’ Her voice came out as a squeak, even though she was trying to be as professional as possible. News like that usually spread like wildfire and she was surprised she hadn’t heard a thing.
Iain gave a curt nod. ‘I’ll talk you through it later. Now, go and eat.’
One of the theatre nurses gestured towards the door and held it open for her as she walked towards it. ‘Come with me. I’ll show you where you can grab a coffee. We’ll have to be quick, mind. Iain will be starting again within ten minutes.’
Lexi followed her quickly to the nearby kitchen. This would be an ideal time to see how much she could find out about Iain from his colleagues. She hadn’t really met many of the staff from Kate’s before.
She gave a grateful smile as the nurse poured out some coffee and handed her a cup. ‘Take some biscuits. They’re on the table. It’s a free for all in here.’
Lexi smiled. ‘Thanks for that. Have you worked with Iain long?’
The nurse lifted her eyebrows. ‘Happy Harry?’
Lexi nearly choked. ‘Is that what you call him?’
The nurse laughed. ‘Actually, he’s not the worst. Leo Hunter used to be much more grumpy but since he’s met Lizzie he’s all smiles. His brother Ethan seems to have taken on the mantle of biggest bear.’ She walked over to the table and sat down next to Lexi. ‘But to be fair to him he’s still not recovered and he works far too long hours—they all do—but Ethan’s trouble is he’s far too stubborn to use his stick.’
Lexi frowned. ‘I’ve never seen Ethan walking with a stick.’
‘Exactly. I’ve worked in orthopaedic theatres for too many years not to know when someone should be using a stick.’
Lexi pressed her lips together. It was time for a subject change, but the nurse was already back on her feet and washing her cup. No one got to hang around for long here. ‘Let’s go, Lexi.’ She gave her a quick wink. ‘Let’s not keep our Scots laird waiting.’
Lexi followed her pale green scrubs out the door. Iain was near the end of scrubbing and his premiership footballer was being wheeled in the door. She almost couldn’t believe the range of operations that Iain was involved in.
The surgery on the footballer player took several hours and her legs were already beginning to ache by the time a very nervous-looking Carol Kennedy was wheeled in. It was obvious she recognised Lexi immediately, and if she was surprised to see her she didn’t show it. Instead, she gestured to her to come over.
Lexi’s stomach was churning. She’d met Carol at numerous charity events over the years and had always found her to be as charming in person as she was on television. She reached over and gave Carol’s hand a little squeeze. ‘I’m so sorry to see you here, Carol.’
Carol nodded nervously, tears pooling in her eyes. ‘Iain spoke to me beforehand about the filming. It’s fine with me. I’ll have some time to explain to the children when I go home.’
‘Are you sure, Carol? The last thing I want to do is invade your privacy. If this is something you want kept out of the media, I completely understand. You know that my lips are sealed and I’ll never breathe a word.’
Carol nodded gratefully. ‘I appreciate that, Lexi. I’ve been fighting this cancer in private for quite some time. But after the surgery today I’ll have some scars. Iain will do whatever he can, but I will have some scars around my neck that I don’t want to have to spend my life telling lies about.’ She shook her head. ‘In a few days’ time I’ll be home and will have told my children. If filming the surgery helps other people and helps raise the profile of the clinic for the charities, it’s fine with me.’
Carol gave a little nod as the anaesthetist signalled to her to lie back against the pillow. Lexi gave a final squeeze of her hand as the anaesthetist started slowing injecting the milky substance into her vein. A few seconds later Carol’s body relaxed and her breathing was assisted. Lexi watched as Carol’s head was tilted backwards but instead of sliding a tube down Carol’s throat, as she’d expected, the anaesthetist slid a tube down her nose.
Iain saw the expression on her face. ‘When we’re doing surgery on the head and neck we often use nasotracheal intubation. It means we can maintain the patient’s airway but still have access to do surgery in and around the face, mouth and neck.’
Lexi nodded. It made sense. If Iain needed access to the inside of Carol’s mouth, it would be virtually impossible if a tube was down her throat.
‘So what are you going to do for Carol?’
There was something so strange about seeing someone she knew lying on the operating table. Even though she’d recognised the footballer from earlier, she’d never met him before in person.
Iain and his team were positioning themselves around the table, a wide variety of surgical instruments around them. Even though Iain’s mask was in place and all she could see were his brown eyes, his thick Scottish accent carried clearly across the theatre. ‘All head and neck cancers are different. The extent of the surgery depends
on the size of the cancer and where it is. If it’s a small cancer of the mouth, there is often no scarring. But if the cancer has spread from the head or neck, the most likely place for it to go to is the lymph nodes in the neck—that’s what has happened in Carol’s case.’
It sounded so ominous when he said it like that. She couldn’t bring herself to ask the obvious question. If this cancer was curable.
Iain was pointing inside Carol’s mouth. ‘I’m going to do to two types of surgery on Carol today. Transoral laser surgery is used to treat smaller cancers on the lip, mouth or throat. The laser removes the tumour using a high-power beam of light. The light is attached to a microscope so that I can see the tissue in detail when I’m operating. Carol’s tumour is near the back of her throat near her larynx. We need to be very careful and precise. Anything we do could affect her speech. Once we’ve dealt with that tumour we need to deal with the spread.
‘Neck dissection is necessary to remove all the affected lymph nodes in both sides of the neck. Tests have shown the cancer has spread to both sides. The nerve that helps move the lower lip can sometimes be affected. This can cause weakness on one side of the mouth and could potentially make her smile crooked. It would usually return to normal after a few months but I want to avoid that for Carol if I can.’
Lexi nodded. He was thinking about his patient and the impact this surgery could have on her livelihood. If Carol had problems with her speech, it would affect her ability to do her job. Things would be hard enough with her scarring. She didn’t need any further complications.
She watched as the team draped Carol’s skin and cleaned it prior to any incision. Iain attached the light and microscope to his visor and positioned himself at the entrance to her mouth. He gave his registrar, who was assisting, a nod and then looked around the theatre. ‘People, I don’t need to tell you how important my concentration is right now. No noise. No interruptions.’
For the next twenty minutes Lexi was scared to breathe. The theatre was eerily quiet. Occasionally Iain spoke quietly to his registrar and they adjusted their positions. She could see the intense focus of the laser. It was almost unthinkable that the slightest movement could mean the laser hitting healthy tissue instead of the tumour.
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