Lexi leaned her head against his shoulder as they listened to the tour. There was a young woman next to her, trying to juggle three kids—a baby in a pouch next to her breasts, a toddler strapped into a buggy and a four-year-old who was looking distinctly bored and kept wandering off. The woman looked tired and was struggling to hear what the Yeoman was saying. Lexi touched her arm and gave her a smile. ‘If it’s okay with you, how about I entertain your oldest for a little while?’
The woman nodded and gave her a grateful smile. They were standing on Tower Green. Lexi could walk about freely and still be safely in the mother’s sight.
She walked over and bent down next to the dark-headed little girl. Her heart gave a squeeze. The little girl was gorgeous. Her hair was in bunches and wearing a purple coat. ‘Hi, there. I’m Lexi. How about I tell you some stories about this place?’
The little girl scowled at her. Lexi pointed over at her mother. ‘Your mum says it’s okay.’ She gave her mother a wave. ‘What’s your name.’
‘Lucy.’
Lexi held out her hand. ‘Good. I’m Lexi. Pleased to meet you.’
Lucy gave a sigh. ‘My feet are sore and Damian is in the buggy.’ She rolled her eyes.
Lexi held out her hands. ‘Fancy a carry?’
Lucy’s eyes brightened and she let her herself be lifted into Lexi’s arms. As the tour moved along little by little, Lexi stayed only a few feet away from the mother, whispering in Lucy’s ear and pointing out various things along the way.
Iain watched carefully. Lexi seemed so at ease. She was obviously used to children. She’d already told Iain about her work at the Chinese orphanage and everything she did showed him her natural affinity for children.
A heavy feeling started to descend over him. Lexi was his first step back to a normal life. He’d promised her nothing.
She spun Lucy backwards in her arms, letting her lean back and throw her arms out, imitating the ravens around about them. Their hair flew outwards as they spun, the smiles on their faces completely and utterly spontaneous. Lexi was a natural.
And he didn’t like it.
It was a horrible admission. But Iain hadn’t planned on thinking such thoughts on what he’d wanted to be a nice day out.
But watching Lexi was making him ache. He was wasting his time with her. Here was a woman who had the word ‘mother’ stamped all over her. What would she think when she found out what he’d done? If she’d any sense at all she would run in the other direction.
What woman would want to be with a man who’d persuaded his wife to take the final chance of IVF that had led to her death?
He looked around Tower Green. Families everywhere. Families happy and smiling. And he knew. He knew he could never set foot in a delivery room again. Not after his last experience.
And Lexi would want a family of her own. How could he explain? She was kneeling on the ground with Lucy right now, telling her some long and obviously gory tale by the actions she was doing. Right on cue, Lucy’s mouth formed a wide O. She slapped her hand across her mouth as Lexi let out a peal of laughter.
Right before his eyes was the reason he should stop all this. He could never be the man that she needed.
But Lexi turned and pushed her hat further back on her head. Her blonde hair was sticking out all round and she shot him the most dazzling smile. The Yeoman was reaching the end of the walking tour at the Medieval Tower.
She mouthed over to him, ‘Crown jewels?’
He nodded. She’d already told him it was her favourite part. They joined the queue with Lucy’s mother behind them. She was looking calmer, more relaxed. She leaned over and whispered to the two of them, ‘It’s dark in here, isn’t it? The two little ones will fall asleep as soon as we get inside.’
They queued quietly as Lexi started to whisper stories of secret princesses to Lucy. The inside of the display was dark, surrounded by armed guards, who were happy to talk to the visitors about some of the jewels on display.
Lucy’s little face gaped at the huge glittering Cullianan diamond in the sovereign’s sceptre.
‘I don’t think there is a magical fairy kingdom inside the stone,’ Iain whispered.
‘Shh!’ Lexi put her finger to her lips, ‘Spoilsport,’ she whispered.
They oohed over the Imperial state crown and Lucy was highly disappointed she couldn’t try it on. ‘But I’m a princess too,’ she said huffily.
‘I know you are,’ said Lexi, ‘and I’m sure when we get to the gift shop I’ll be able to buy you a crown of your own.’
And sure enough she did. It was early afternoon by the time they’d finished at the Tower. ‘I’m sorry our afternoon got hijacked,’ she said to Iain as they made their way to the exit.
‘No, you’re not,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘You looked like you were having the time of your life. What stories were you telling her?’
Lexi smiled. ‘Stories about the evil ravens stealing fairies and the fairies fighting back by hiding in the crown jewels.’
‘All totally based on reality, then?’
She nodded solemnly. ‘Based on a four-year-old girl’s reality.’ She tapped the side of her nose. ‘That’s the trick to keeping them quiet.’
‘Well, you certainly managed to master that.’
She smiled up at him as he reached for her hand and gave it a little squeeze. ‘Let’s go for a walk down to Tower Bridge,’ she said.
Even though it was still cold, the day was bright and sunny. The path down next to the bridge was busy, filled with street acts and various parties on tours. They bought coffee from a street vendor and sat on a bench, people-watching.
Lexi seemed relaxed and happy next to him. If they looked along the river a little they could see Kate’s. ‘Are you going there today?’
Iain nodded. ‘I’ll go in later. I have a few patients to check over. It won’t take long.’
She ran her tongue along her lips. Her hat was sitting in her lap now and her blonde hair was blowing in the breeze. She didn’t seem to mind at all that it was all over the place. In fact, for the daughter of a supermodel, Lexi didn’t seem to care at all about her appearance. She hadn’t looked in a mirror once since they’d met today.
She was gorgeous, of course. But it helped him realise how far down the list she put superficial things. Another plus point for Lexi.
If only that didn’t make him squirm. Because every good point about Lexi made him realise how they couldn’t really be a match. There must be a whole host of guys out there who would want to snatch her up. To admire her beauty, good spirit and work ethic. A hundred guys out there who want to settle down with her and have a family.
She leaned over and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. There was a kind of glazed look behind her smile. She was squinting at him in the sunshine as she reached up and ran her fingers through his hair.
‘It’s not exactly the usual look, is it?’ she said, tugging at his shaggy hair.
‘What do you mean?’ He was distracted by her lips and blue eyes and only looked up when she gave his hair an extra tug.
‘Most surgeons go for the ultra-short look.’
‘I’m not most surgeons,’ he growled.
‘I get that.’
‘Just imagine me shipwrecked on a mysterious island. This is the natural look for me.’
‘Good, because I like it. It suits you.’ She gave him a cheeky wink. ‘Now, don’t ever cut it. I might go off you.’ She stood up. ‘So, fancy a late dinner at mine?’
She said the words so easily. Probably never expecting him to hesitate. But he did. This was his chance. This was his opportunity to let her spread her wings and fly. To stop any chance of him hurting her. But there was still a little something in her eyes. Still a little lack of confidence.
So he smiled, standing up and taking her hand. ‘I think I can manage that.’ He changed his mind, dropping her hand and wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She was closer this way.
Eventually he would h
ave to let her go.
Eventually he would have to tell her the truth.
Just not right now.
CHAPTER NINE
‘LEXI, CAN I speak to you a minute, please?’
Ethan Hunter was leaning on her doorframe. He’s still not using his stick. It was her first thought and she quickly pushed it out of her head. It was none of her business.
She pushed her chair back and stood up, walking over towards the door. ‘No problem, Ethan. What can I do for you?’
She was very busy, and between an influx of high-profile clients, thanks to her PR campaign, her nights with Iain and her charity work, she hardly had a moment to think. But Ethan very rarely bothered her and she wanted to give him the attention he deserved.
Ethan looked a little uncomfortable. Was that his leg again, or was he just choosing his words carefully?
‘Lexi, I wanted to ask you about something. I’ve seen some paperwork lying about and heard some of the other surgeons talking about Fair Go. Can you tell me what it is?’
Lexi straightened her shoulders and put on her brightest smile. ‘Why don’t you come and sit down, Ethan? I’m happy to fill you in on all the details of Fair Go. Can I get you some tea or coffee?’
Ethan shook his head and sat down in the leather high-backed armchair opposite her desk. He probably didn’t even realise the visible sweep of relief that came across his face as he took the weight off his leg.
Lexi shuffled some papers on her desk until she found what she was looking for. ‘Here it is. Fair Go—it’s a great name, isn’t it? Named after Olivia Fairchild, the nurse who started it.’
She looked up in time to see Ethan visibly pale. Maybe his leg gave him more pain than he let on?
She moved on. ‘It’s an African-based charity focusing on helping adults and children affected by war. It’s a small charity right now, but with our backing Olivia is hoping she will be able to assist more victims. She has several cases already that could do with transport to the UK for specialist surgery.’ She smiled over at Ethan. ‘I take it you’ll be keen to take part?’
It seemed an obvious question. She knew that Ethan had been a victim of war himself so it seemed only natural he would want to help others. It just seemed odd his brother hadn’t mentioned it—but, then again, she couldn’t really fathom the relationship between the brothers. And she knew better than to interfere in other families’ problems.
Ethan’s voice was strained. ‘Of course I’ll take part. I knew another charity was being proposed for the clinic—I just hadn’t heard the details yet. That’s why I asked Iain if he’d be willing to participate too. I take it he was happy to help?’
Lexi felt an odd rush of colour to her cheeks. Oh, no. Just the mention of Iain’s name was causing her to blush. Talk about giving herself away.
‘Yes, yes. Well, you know Iain. I had to persuade him a little.’ Had she really managed to say that without turning beetroot red?
‘I’m sorry I haven’t done your interview yet, Lexi.’ Ethan had the good grace to look a little shame-faced. ‘It’s just not really my thing. I prefer to stay out of the spotlight. I am happy to support the charity work, though.’
He was staring at the paper on her desk—the one with the details of Olivia Fairchild’s charity. And he was looking at it with such ferocity that she knew something else was going on entirely. She wouldn’t like to be in Leo Hunter’s shoes right now.
She decided to give him an out. ‘I spent three weeks chasing you for an interview, Ethan—I can take a hint. Iain gave in after two. I think we’ll be able to use his interview for some very effective publicity. I finished the edits on it last night and we’re ready to release it online in a few days. So I think I can release you from your obligation.’
She saw a little tension sag out of his shoulders and he stood up from the chair. ‘Lexi, just to let you know. We had news yesterday of some other big-name clients. Sheikh Abdullah’s wife, Lydia Jones the newscaster and Violet Ingram the equestrian who fell in the recent Games, to name a few. They’re all coming here for surgery. I don’t know what you’ve been doing out there—but it’s obviously working.’
His dark hazel eyes were full of sincerity. ‘Thanks, Lexi. This will make a world of difference for us, particularly around our charity work.’
‘That’s why you pay me, Ethan. I’m just happy you think I’m doing a good job.’ She watched as he walked to the door, his limp still visible.
This was the longest conversation she’d ever had with Ethan Hunter. She didn’t know if he’d always been this quiet or if it was since his return from his tour of duty in Afghanistan. It was obvious he’d been injured in the field. But she wasn’t entirely sure what those injuries were. Just that while it was obvious he wasn’t back to full fitness yet, it was equally obvious that he wasn’t really ready to accept that.
She just hoped she hadn’t stoked some still-smouldering fire between the brothers by telling Ethan about the Fair Go charity.
It seemed ridiculous. A number of other members of the clinic knew about Fair Go. Any one of them could have told Ethan about it.
So why was she hoping against hope that he wouldn’t tell Leo it had been her?
‘Time for coffee?’
The voice at the door startled her and she smiled as Carrie, one of the receptionists, appeared. Truth was, she didn’t really have time to breathe let alone have coffee but she needed a break. And she needed some fresh air. She nodded. ‘How about the coffee house at the end of the street? I could do with a walk.’
Carrie nodded and waved the purse she was holding in her hand. ‘I was hoping you might say that. Let’s go.’
They walked down the street swiftly. Lexi never did anything slowly and she was trying her best not to glance at her watch.
‘So where have you been? I’ve hardly seen you these last few weeks.’
‘I know. I’ve been rushed off my feet with the publicity campaign for the clinic and the charities.’ She counted off on her fingers. ‘In the last fourteen days I’ve been to Spain, Switzerland, Dubai and Belgium. I’m frazzled. And I’m due to launch the video interview of Iain in the next few days.’
Carrie nodded. She was smiling but Lexi could tell she wasn’t really taking in everything she said.
She pushed open the door to the coffee house at the end of the street and grabbed the only free table. Neither of them needed to look at the menu. Lexi smiled at the waitress. ‘Usual coffee—skinny latte with sugar-free caramel and …’ she smiled over at the cake counter ‘… I’ll have the raspberry and cream sponge, please.’
‘And I’ll have a cappuccino and a piece of the carrot cake, please.’
Lexi smiled as Carrie adjusted herself in the chair. ‘Ooh, you’re eating today. You never normally eat mid-morning.’
Carrie fumbled in her bag and pulled a white envelope out and pushed it across the table with a nervous smile.
Lexi felt her stomach flip over. Keep smiling, she told herself. She already knew what would be in the envelope. This had happened to her too many times already.
She went onto automatic pilot. She pulled the scan image from the envelope and let out a little gasp of surprise, trying the whole time not to think about how this moment would never be hers. She placed the black and white print out down, easily seeing the shape of the little baby with its curved spine, larger than average head and little limbs pointing upwards. She leaned over the table. ‘Congratulations, Carrie, I’m delighted for you. When is your due date?’
Carrie’s face flushed with pleasure. ‘Tenth of September. I had my scan last week when I was twelve weeks.’
‘And are you keeping okay?’
Carrie shrugged. ‘I can’t eat first thing in the morning because I feel really lousy. But by now—mid-morning—I’m ravenous.’
‘So that’s why the change in eating habits.’
The waitress appeared and put the coffees and cakes on the table, and Carrie didn’t waste any time in digging
in.
Lexi pressed her lips together. She was happy for her friend. She really was. And she’d been through this a dozen times before. She’d resigned herself years before to the fact she wouldn’t have kids naturally. She kept close ties with the orphanages—adoption would be her way to a future family. And she was looking forward to it—when the time was right.
But something had happened in the last two weeks, since she’d sat in that kitchen with Iain and looked into his eyes as he’d told her about losing his wife and twins. Her heart had broken for him. It truly had.
But something else had happened.
Her confidence and inner strength now had a tiny chip in the armour.
Iain and his wife had obviously wanted to have a family. Which meant that Iain had wanted a family of his own. Logic told her that even though his wife was gone, eventually his brain would go down that path again. That path of wanting to share his life with a woman who could have his children.
A path it wasn’t possible for her to go down.
Carrie was guzzling her cake and coffee. And she did look different. Lexi wondered why she hadn’t noticed. Carrie had a little glow about her, her hair was thick and glossy and there was added sparkle in her eyes.
Carrie looked up. ‘I wanted to tell you first before I tell anyone else. I know they will be fine about maternity leave and everything, but I just wanted to talk to you first.’
Lexi reached across the table and squeezed her hand. ‘Thank you. I’m delighted for you—really I am.’ Even though there were a million tiny butterflies taking flight in her stomach. The raspberry and cream sponge was beautiful but she could barely touch it.
She hated herself right now. She’d never felt more than a fleeting pang before when a friend had told her they were pregnant.
But what she hated more than anything right now was the remote possibility that because of her budding relationship with Iain, she might be feeling a tiny bit jealous.
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