All that meant, she silently insisted, was that they couldn’t get serious.
God, but she wanted to get serious. Badly.
Natalya took another very long sip of her drink, vaguely aware of the way the liquid coursed through her veins.
Mike sat down beside her on the sofa, the sides of his jacket hanging open, his tie undone. He looked slightly messy and she wanted to run her fingers through his hair. Wanted him to leave his imprint on her soul.
Wanted not to think, but to feel.
To feel something other than lonely, she realized. Because despite the upbeat temperament she’d been born with, she somehow felt incredibly lonely right now.
Things were changing and she’d never been a fan of change. But Clancy was dead and Sasha was married and life moved on.
This was why she needed to work so much especially lately. So that these sad, isolating thoughts couldn’t find her, couldn’t make her feel like this.
Maybe she shouldn’t be drinking, she thought abruptly, looking accusingly at the glass in her hand. The screwdriver was almost gone. How had that happened? She’d only taken a sip. Maybe two.
Mike studied her face for a moment, moving aside the bangs that had fallen into her eyes. “What’s wrong, Natalya?”
She liked the way he said her name. Halfway between the way her sisters said it and “Natalie” as if he couldn’t decide where to put the accent. It was sweet.
Natalya shook her head. “Nothing.”
It didn’t look like nothing. She looked pensive.
“Having second thoughts about coming here?” Taking the glass from her hand, he placed it on the coffee table, next to his. Right in front of the wedding bouquet. “I could take you home.” He didn’t want her here against her will, or because something she’d imbibed had impaired her judgment. He wanted her here because she wanted to be here.
“You did,” she pointed out, a slight smile curving the corners of her mouth.
What was there about her smile that made him feel as if he were lighting up inside? “You know what I mean. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” He looked at her for a long moment. “Or do anything that you don’t want to do.”
That was just the trouble. She wanted to. More than she’d ever wanted to before. Just being beside him like this made her whole body sing.
“So you’re going to make me beg?” There was humor in her eyes.
He felt his gut tighten. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied just before he framed her face between his hands pressing his lips against hers.
The kiss grew slowly, deepening by layers, until it was so intense that it threatened to incinerate them both if they weren’t careful.
His kiss stole her breath away and made her want him with every fiber of her being. It had always been a matter of when this was going to happen, not if, and the longer it took to happen, the larger she knew the explosion would be once it did.
She wasn’t wrong.
It felt as if every vein in her body had just been set on fire. An eagerness rushed in, overtaking her in the blink of an eye, making her want to rip his clothes from his body as well as ripping away her own.
But patience, she’d learned, had its virtues. And letting Mike undress her, coaxing the zipper down, drawing the fabric away from her flesh, was far more rewarding than doing it herself.
Each time his hand passed over her, taking something else with it, or lingering to touch, to explore, to caress, it was harder and harder to breathe. Harder and harder not to just let her knees dissolve, the way they wanted to. She found herself holding on to him just to remain upright. Until that position was no longer necessary.
Desire had lit a match that had turned into a torch. He’d meant to go slow. To savor and enjoy. She wasn’t his first woman, or even his tenth, but there was no doubt in his mind that she was special, even more than all the other women he’d enjoyed. From the moment he’d first kissed her, he knew there was something about this woman with flame-colored hair and flashing green eyes that set her apart.
Which was why this had been longer in coming than was his habit. In his own way, he’d been afraid of her, afraid of the way he felt around her. Afraid of the degree with which he wanted her.
The longer he waited, the more he wanted, the more he feared. This one counted. Not like Brenda, who he’d talked himself into thinking he could marry. Natalya really counted.
Even as he made love to every part of her, it felt, very oddly, like his first time. Not with her but with anyone. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know what to expect, and yet, with Natalya, he wasn’t entirely sure. He certainly had never felt as if losing control was just half a heartbeat away.
Natalya made his head spin, his blood surge and desire throb within every single part of him. Every kiss, every taste, just served to heighten his excitement.
She was an eager lover. When she pressed her naked, hot body against his, he’d almost thrown her down on the sofa and taken her right then and there. But he knew the worth of slow progress, both for her and for himself. He thrived on her pleasure, so he wanted to make sure that it was at its highest peak before they came together for the ultimate consummation.
For the first time that he could remember, control was all but elusive. It was as if he was being controlled by some unseen force, orchestrating every sensual, blood-pounding movement.
He wanted to lose himself within her. Within the taste, the feel, the scent of her, not just within her body.
Things were happening that she’d never felt before, couldn’t begin to describe to herself. A frantic need, a desire that was larger than anything she’d ever experienced before had seized her, taken control and made her prisoner the moment he’d touched his lips to hers.
She didn’t know, couldn’t analyze, what was happening to her. All that mattered was making love with this man. Nothing else, just here, just now. She felt like if it didn’t happen, if they couldn’t come together, she would expire. Disappear completely from existence.
His lips were everywhere, causing ripples that turned into tidal waves along her throat, the side of her neck, the length of her torso down to her belly and then her thighs.
And beyond.
She twisted and turned, trying to capture more, trying to flee because the enormity of what she was feeling was so overwhelming, she had no idea how to deal with it. Sweet agony. The term throbbed in her brain. It was the only one that seemed to fit.
Unwilling to feel this measure of excitement alone, Natalya suddenly sat up, taking his face between her hands the way he’d done earlier with hers. She gently brought him back up to her so that she could cover his mouth with her own. So that she could kiss him over and over again, the way he had her, and make him as mindless as he’d succeeded in making her.
She heard him moan. The sound utterly inflamed her.
Their bodies tangled together until they became one entity, until there was no beginning, no end, just one whole.
Sheathed deep within her, Mike began to move with an urgency he had no control over. Raising her hips, she echoed each thrust, moving with it. Together they took each other where they both needed to go. To the very top of this feeling. To have it explode within them and then have it wrap its fading wings around them as it brought them, more swiftly than they desired, back to earth.
Mike lay there beside her, watching her chest rise and fall. Listening as the sound of both their breathing mingled until it seemed as if it were just a single sound. A single breath.
His arm was beneath her and he drew her closer to him.
“Hell of a nightcap,” he managed to say. But even that made him want to gasp for air. He couldn’t seem to draw enough of it into his lungs. She’d depleted everything. His energy, his breath. His very mind.
“My thoughts exactly,” she responded, then struggled into a semisitting position, leaning one arm across his chest, her hair flowing along it so that any movement of her head tickled his body.
He f
ound it incredibly seductive and marveled at how he could feel anything at all after going numb just now. He felt completely drained…
And yet, something was whispering on the outer perimeter of his consciousness. Something that was trying to draw him in again.
The woman wasn’t a doctor, she was a witch, he decided.
Mike began to toy with the ends of her hair, wrapping them around his finger. Thinking silly, disjointed thoughts. “So, what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”
She moved her head so that she could look directly into his eyes. The look took him prisoner all over again. If he’d thought, even for a moment, that he had the upper hand here, he was deluding himself.
He was vaguely aware that it was the first time he hadn’t wanted to retain complete control, the way he did over every situation he came across, and that losing it didn’t even bother him the way he would have thought that it would.
She’d turned the whole world on its ear. Logic, what was left of it, told him to pick up and run. This woman could and would be trouble.
Trouble had never looked so attractive or compelling. He remained where he was, silently wishing that it could remain like this for them indefinitely. With no consequences looming on the horizon.
“Having the time of my life,” Natalya finally answered, watching his expression carefully. “Or is that being too honest?” Sometimes, she knew, when you put all your cards on the table, it scared the other player away. But she’d never believed in playing games. And, until just now, the outcome of her bluntness had never mattered.
Now it did.
So she held her breath and watched him. And felt relieved when he smiled and told her that “Honesty can be very sexy.”
“Can be,” she repeated, not taking anything for granted. He’d begun to strum his fingers along her abdomen, making all the muscles tighten like the strings of newly tuned harp. Her eyes remained on his. If he lied, she’d know. “Is it now?”
His eyes remained holding hers. He made no effort to look away. “What do you think?”
She moved her torso in a little closer, so that it was partially over his. A grin blossomed on her lips as she felt him growing. Felt the physical evidence of his resurrected desire.
It created havoc within her own core, making her want to do it all over again. Make love with him all night long if her stamina held.
Natalya feathered her fingertips along his lips. “I think that the word encore was created to cover moments just like this.”
“Wasn’t a moment,” he corrected, pretending to look serious, or as serious as he could manage. “Was a hell of a lot longer than a moment.”
Her grin turned wicked, although she was trying to appear innocent. “I’m afraid that you’re going to have to show me again. I seem to find myself temporarily suffering from amnesia.”
He laughed, then suddenly shifted positions and she found herself flat on her back with Mike directly over her. His body was sealed against hers. It took everything she had not to let a moan of anticipation escape her lips.
“It’s a dirty job,” he told her, linking his hands with hers, his eyes holding her prisoner, “but I guess someone has to do it.”
“Dirty job?” she echoed, pretending, unsuccessfully, to take offense.
“You heard me.”
That wasn’t all she heard.
She also heard bells—loud ones. And for once, they weren’t coming from either her cell phone or his. They were coming from inside of her.
Natalya wrapped her arms around his neck and gladly gave herself up to the sensations that had already taken hold of her.
She’d had every intention of going back to her apartment before midnight.
And then before dawn.
But somehow, it didn’t happen. Neither of them wanted to initiate the first step that would ultimately separate them, taking them away from this rare moment, this rare place they’d discovered. Both feared in their hearts that something precisely like this might never happen again, or at least, not to this degree. And there were no disturbances. No babies suddenly in need of attention, no sad souls who had left the world abruptly, no mystery needing Mike’s exclusive attention. For once, there was nothing to interrupt the evening.
But paradise could only continue for so long. With first light came reality, seeking to reestablish its claim on them both.
Natalya opened her eyes with enormous reluctance. The second that she did, she found Mike leaning over her, his head propped up on his upturned hand as he looked down at her.
God, she had to look awful. But she couldn’t very well throw the blanket over her head. He’d already seen her. “What are you doing?”
Enjoying himself, he thought. “Watching you sleep.”
“Why?” She tried to be glib, to hide the awkwardness she felt. Belatedly, she realized that she hadn’t pulled the cover over her body. She tugged it into place now. “Am I doing something entertaining?”
“Not now.” He curbed the urge to pull the blanket away again. “But you were.”
She stared at him, almost afraid of the answer. “In my sleep?”
“No, before that.” He threaded his arm around her waist, tucking her against his side. “Anyone ever tell you that you are one exciting lady?”
God, but this felt right. She knew she should be getting up, should be creating her own space again, but all she wanted to do was be with him a little longer.
“Not that I recall.”
“Well, you are.” If he didn’t get up now, he was going to start making love to her all over again and he wasn’t sure how she’d respond to that in the light of day. Mornings had a way of changing the rules of the game. “Want me to make you breakfast?”
Her eyes widened as she looked up at him. “You cook, too?”
He lifted a single shoulder, then let it fall again. “Passably.”
“Only passably?” He nodded. She wasn’t hungry for anything that could be placed on a plate. But she did want something that he could serve up, hot and ready. Oh, God, she was thinking like a guy and she didn’t even care. “How about we end this on a high note?”
He settled his body against hers, reading between the lines but wanting to be absolutely sure the text wasn’t just wishful thinking. “What do you mean?”
She raised her arms to his. “Guess.”
With a laugh, he took her into his arms. “How many guesses do I get?”
Her body was already humming in anticipation as she felt the warmth of him radiating through the blanket. “I’ll be very disappointed if it takes you more than one to get the answer.”
“Then I’d better not disappoint you.”
Chapter 12
Natalya put her key in the lock and turned it softly. Her hand on the doorknob, she moved it a fraction of an inch at a time. Taking a deep breath, she entered the apartment on tiptoes, carrying her shoes in her hand.
Only to find herself looking straight into Kady’s amused eyes.
Her sister looked as if she were on her way out. Just her luck. “Welcome home, Cinderella. Is the ball over?” Kady guessed, not bothering to hide her wide grin.
Natalya pressed her lips together. She’d been hoping to slip in without making Kady aware of the time. The very last thing she wanted right now were questions, especially since she couldn’t begin to honestly answer any of her own, beginning with What the hell was she doing?
She had no idea what she was doing, getting in deeper with a man she couldn’t possibly have a future with. But the truth of it was, the more she was with Mike, the more she wanted to be with him. And at least part of her felt that he felt the same way, as well. Which made it all the better, even as it made the situation worse.
Natalya held her hand up to ward off anything that might be coming from her younger sister. “Please, no third degree, Kady.”
“Third?” Kady echoed. “Honey, that wasn’t even first degree. I was just a little worried about you, that’s all. And a litt
le envious,” she added with a wink. “He is a hunk.”
Natalya tried her best to be nonchalant. The half shrug was careless. “He’s okay.”
This time Kady hooted. “Okay?” She slipped her arm around Natalya’s shoulders. “Sweetie, I have never known you to spend your time with just plain ‘okay.’ You’re not the type, no matter what you want Mama and Dad to think.” It was a valiant fight, but her resolve to keep her questions to herself died a quick death. She had to ask. “Is it serious?”
Natalya threw off her wrap and let her clutch purse drop on top of it. “No. Yes.” She held her head, which was beginning to ache. “I don’t know.”
Unfazed, Kady nodded. “Fair enough.” She slanted a look at Natalya’s face. “So, do you want it to be serious?”
On occasion, she’d hedge to her sisters, but she never once lied outright. “Yes, but it can’t.”
Clear as mud, Kady thought. It had to be love. Out loud, she said cheerfully, “I love riddles. Do I get any more clues?”
She might as well tell Kady everything, Natalya thought. “Mike wants children.”
Kady looked as if she were still waiting to hear what the problem was. “So?”
Had it slipped Kady’s mind? “I can’t have any, remember?” Natalya told her.
To which Kady could only shake her head as her sister took hold of her arms to keep her from walking away. “Nat, Nat, Nat, you’re a doctor. You of all people should know that there are so many options available to us these days.” She paused for only a moment. “Not the least of which is adoption.”
Natalya didn’t think that was an option in this case. “I think Mike wants his own.” The words came out with a sigh.
Kady peered up at her face, searching it. “You think or you know?”
Restless, upset and on the verge on being emotional Natalya threw up her hands and began to move away. “I couldn’t exactly interrogate him about it.”
“Number one, when you adopt, the child instantly ‘becomes’ your own. Number two, there’re so many ways to have a baby these days that didn’t exist a generation ago. I read about this woman who couldn’t give birth to a baby so her mother volunteered to carry it to term for her. She wound up having twins.”
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