“I’m almost surprised Father hasn’t called us back,” said Celine.
Both of her brothers shook their heads.
“That would be a disaster,” said Frederic. “A clear way to signal to the rebels—and the rest of the kingdom—that we’re weak and losing control. The kingdom is already recovering from the last rebellion. And these new rebels have shown themselves to be ruthless and willing to accept civilian casualties. If we lose control now, who knows what chaos and violence might descend?”
I agreed and told myself to be brave, but as my eyes fastened on Frederic, all I could think was who might be killed next time?
The next day, we left the jungle behind, and with it the last of my woodshed nightmares. It turns out I had only needed to face that fear to discover I had outgrown it. My foster family were not monsters in the night, and my experiences in the jungle had not been all bad. Josinna was the proof of that.
It helped that I had faced my past with my new friends beside me. Everything was easier when you weren’t alone.
We rode upward, the ground becoming increasingly barren as the moisture leached from the air. We didn’t feel high until we stopped ascending and gazed down the steep drop to the dry desert below us. The sand stretched out before us in waves and dunes, some of it blowing on the wind. My skin itched as a dry, hot gust blew up to meet us. I shivered, although not from the cold. Not all of my nightmares had disappeared.
A small group of people already toiled up the slope toward us, their forms entirely swathed in the voluminous robes favored by the desert traders. The coverings left only their eyes exposed, and they were still too far away for me to make any of those out. I wondered uneasily if I would know any of them.
Further in the distance we could see the camel caravan that waited for us. The familiar shapes against the yellow sand made me shudder again. But a moment later I picked out other, incongruous elements. The tents were too few, the human silhouettes vastly outnumbered by the animals. I had been expecting it, but still it stood out, an error in an otherwise standard scene.
Cassian had explained the crown’s arrangements with this caravan to Celine and me. We were to travel with them south, and then west again to Largo. To make room for us, they had already left their young, their elderly, and those who cared for them in an accommodating village not far from the southern city.
Naturally they had been compensated for all of this. They were traders and did nothing for free.
Several of the older nobles reluctantly began to emerge from their carriages. The remaining nobles, all of the grooms and drivers, and a number of the servants were to take the carriages, wagons, and horses back through the jungle. When they hit the intersection with the north-south jungle road, they would head north back to Lanare. The rest of the Tour would travel by foot and camel south and then west again. In Largo, the royal yacht would be waiting to take us back to the harbor at Lanare.
The arrangement had been made long ago, and I understood that to have broken it now would have sent a clear message that the crown did not wish to send. But still, I wished we could all turn back—surprise the rebels by veering off course. It was too easy to lay ambushes on a path so well mapped.
As we waited for the approaching party to arrive, the Tour sorted its copious baggage, unloading what would be taken on by camel. We would all need to assist in carrying these supplies down to the caravan.
At last those who were to turn back had themselves in order, and Frederic wished them an official farewell. A moment later the desert traders reached us.
One of them unwrapped his head covering, revealing his face, and threw his arms wide. “Welcome friends, to the Sea of Sand.”
Chapter 19
The contingent of desert traders had brought large pieces of sturdy canvas with them which they set up as sleds to drag our supplies down to the rest of the caravan. They made short work of the task, and we had all soon entered the desert proper. The royals hadn’t seemed sure when I had suggested making them full wraps like the traders wore, but I noticed each of them wincing at the bite of the sun against their exposed skin. I suspected I would soon receive three orders for wraps.
I had spent my spare moments over the last few days making myself one from the lightest silk Josinna had been able to sell me. The length of material had seemed so cheap bought directly from the source without the cut usually taken by the traders for hauling it across the kingdom. I had bought several bolts in different colors under the assumption that the royals would want wraps of their own soon enough.
As the packs were redistributed from the sleds to the camels, I found my own garment and twisted it around myself. I had yet to wind it around my head when a boisterous voice yelled out, “Evie!”
I turned in time to leap into the arms held out for me, only to be spun around and around in circles.
“Evie! You’re here! And look how grown up you are! And so elegant.” The laughing young man winked at me.
I laughed straight back. “Ofie! I didn’t know we were to travel with your caravan.”
“But of course.” He assumed an offended expression. “As if I would allow anyone else to transport my beautiful Evie.”
I shoved him. “Don’t try to fool me with your glib tongue. The arrangements for this trip were made long before I joined the Tour.”
“I have a sense for such things,” he said, his grave expression breaking down as he spun me around again. “You must come and see my camels.”
He placed my feet back on the ground, but his arms were still around me, when I noticed Celine watching on in astonishment. Frederic, a step behind her, had a strange, almost dangerous expression on his face, his eyes glittering. I fought down a flush. There was no reason I couldn’t greet an old friend in any way I chose.
Offar, or Ofie, as we had always called him as children, led me through the noisy, smelly mass of camels, talking the whole way. The other children in my own caravan might not have allowed the foolish city girl to join their games, but on the occasions when our caravans had crossed paths, Ofie had always cheerfully included me in whatever mischief he currently had planned. I had worshiped him as a result, despite his infuriating tendency to get us both into trouble. And I had spent many hours regretting that desert caravans seldom found themselves in the same place and rarely stayed long when they did. If my time as a trader had been spent in Ofie’s caravan, it would have been different indeed.
“Two whole strings,” he said when we arrived at a place near the back of the caravan, gesturing proudly. A young boy looked up from his place on the sand and waved at us cheerfully.
“That’s my young cousin,” said Ofie. “He leads my second string. An ungrateful scamp if ever I saw one.”
“Reminds me of someone else I once knew,” I said.
The young camel-puller chortled loudly. When his amusement died down he looked me up and down unashamedly. “So you’re Evie. I imagined you taller.”
I raised both eyebrows, turning to Ofie. “What terrible tales have you been telling about me?”
“None, I assure you,” he protested, turning suddenly serious. “I only expanded to the second string this last year, and it’s all thanks to you. You’ve kept me busy carting material between Josinna and the capital.”
I smiled, glad to think my success had also brought success to my old friends. I just wished he had been able to bring his wares directly to the capital himself instead of offloading them not far from the desert to a regular traveling merchant caravan with wagons and horses. It would have been nice to see a familiar face in Lanare.
I shook my head as I surveyed his animals. When he was getting into mischief as a child, I would never have predicted he would be successful enough to own two whole strings of camels within Caravan Adira. He must have worked hard in the years between my leaving the desert and contacting him about transporting my material.
“Evie.” Frederic sounded stiff and disapproving. Had he followed us through the caravan? “You�
��re needed.”
I shrugged apologetically at Ofie.
“Don’t worry.” He grinned at me. “I can see you’re far too important now for the likes of me.”
I rolled my eyes in response to his wink and followed the silent Frederic back toward the Tour.
When we had passed out of hearing range of the other two, he spoke. “Who was that?”
“An old friend.” I shrugged. “Not everyone in the entire kingdom hates me,” I added tartly, out of sorts at his judgment.
He glanced at me sideways. “I didn’t mean…”
I shrugged again.
He cleared his throat and made another attempt. “So, you’ve lived among the traders as well, I take it?”
“Caravan Osmira took me in when I was nine years old.”
A camel-puller within earshot looked up at my words and slapped his flat palm to his heart in a desert trader gesture. Frederic glanced between us, but I kept my eyes firmly ahead, refusing to answer the question in his.
Could he see the tears I was struggling to hold back? It had been many years since I had spoken the name of my old caravan aloud, and I hadn’t expected it to hit me so hard. If only he would leave me alone before I embarrassed myself. I tried to think of something I could say without emotion.
“They trained me to be a camel-puller, and I led a full string by the time I was eleven.”
“So how did you end up in the jungle?”
I increased my pace, still looking straight ahead. So many questions. “The trader family who had taken me in lost a number of camels over the course of a few months when I was twelve. They consolidated their strings and found they no longer had need of me.”
Frederic lengthened his stride to stay beside me. “Evie.” His voice sounded softer than before. But his sympathy was worse than questions.
When I didn’t respond, he grasped my arm, pulling me to a halt. He looked into my eyes. “Evie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried, it’s none of my business.”
I ripped my arm from his grip, tears welling in my eyes. Too late. Now he had made me lose my remaining composure. The emotion spilled out of me, completely out of control.
“No, it isn’t any of your business. Just like my friends are none of your business, either. I have been nothing but helpful and obedient this entire trip, while you and your sister adopted me and paraded me around like your pet. Why can’t you just let me be?”
I took off running, hating myself already for my words. I didn’t look back because I didn’t want to see the confusion and disgust that no doubt filled his face as he watched me flee.
Celine called to me in the distance, but I ignored her, running until I had lost myself in the crowd of animals. When I found a suitably abandoned spot, I curled up and cried until I had no more tears left.
When they at last dried, I remained where I was, still lost in misery. What had I done? I should never have agreed to come here. Despite the joy of seeing my old friend, the feel of the oppressive sun, the smell of the camels—even the sounds they made—brought far too much flooding back. I would have nightmares for months now, and I had just exploded and driven away my new friends.
Tears I hadn’t thought still left in me squeezed out when I thought of how I had yelled at Frederic and what he would think of me now. I had known that my broken past would drive them away eventually. But for all my foreknowledge, I hadn’t managed to protect my heart. It hurt just as much as I had feared it would.
We were to camp here for the night before moving on, so I had no reason to re-emerge. But eventually my rumbling stomach, combined with the odd looks I was getting from passing camel-pullers, made me shake myself off and stand.
I was here now, and it was too late to turn back. I must find a way to push it aside as I always did and pretend the coming rejection didn’t sting. I took a few moments to arrange my features accordingly, scrubbing away as much evidence of my tears as possible.
As I walked back in search of the rest of the Tour, I took a more considered look around. This caravan, Caravan Adira, had always been one of the larger ones, but in the years of my absence, it had grown bigger than any caravan I had ever seen. There must be at least twenty strings of camels, each string with between ten and fifteen enormous two-humped animals. Most of them were owned by the larger trader families in the caravan, which made Ofie’s achievement in attaining two whole strings all the more remarkable.
More tents, familiar ones this time, had sprung up while I was hiding. Dejectedly I found the steward and asked him where I was assigned to sleep.
“With the princess, of course.” He looked at me as if I were mad. “I would have thought you knew the princes well enough by now to know the happenings in the jungle were hardly designed to ease their minds. “
“Yes, but…” I frowned. So they hadn’t spoken to him yet. I chewed the inside of my cheek. I would have to wait until one of them did.
Wandering on, I caught sight of the three royals standing together and froze, a flash of heat racing through my body. I reminded myself I would have to face them eventually and tried to calm my face.
“I can’t find her anywhere,” said Celine, sounding upset. “And everyone just looks at me blankly when I ask if they’ve seen her.”
“This isn’t your fault, Celine,” said Frederic, running his hand through his hair, “it’s mine.” His eyes looked tight and worried.
Were they talking about me? I took a step forward, and Cassian looked up.
“Evie.” I couldn’t pick the emotion in his voice, although he sounded slightly less calm than usual.
“Evie?” Celine spun around and dashed toward me, throwing her arms around my neck. “There you are! I’ve been so worried! I thought you might have run off into the desert and died!”
“Um…I haven’t been gone that long.” I patted the younger girl’s back awkwardly.
“I told her you knew the desert. That you wouldn’t do something so dangerous.” Frederic’s quiet voice sounded strained.
Celine suddenly pulled herself away and glared at me. “How could you do that to me? I was terrified.”
“I…” I swallowed. I had been so absorbed in my past and my imagined pain at losing them, that it had never occurred to me I might be causing pain to any of them.
I looked up and met Frederic’s eyes. He was the one I had most wronged when he had merely attempted to offer sympathy. Something in his expression told me that there was no question of my being cast off, and shame filled me. I insulted them when I continued to imagine the worst. A worst that never seemed to eventuate, no matter what I did or what they learned.
“I’m sorry,” I said to Celine, meeting both of the princes’ eyes to extend the apology to them. “It was thoughtless of me.”
Celine grinned. “I forgive you. I pretty much have to since my family is always telling me I’m terribly thoughtless.” She sounded cheerful again already. “Can we go inside one of the tents now? I’m dying out here! And I thought it was hot at home. I think I’m going to need one of those wraps, after all, Evie. Even if I do hate the idea of being surrounded by so much fabric when it’s so hot.”
She led the way with me trailing behind. Frederic fell into step next to me.
“I am also sorry, Evie,” he said. “And I’m glad you’re all right.”
I sighed. “No, you have nothing to apologize for. I’m truly sorry for behaving so inexcusably, Your Highness. You did not deserve my outburst.”
“Your Highness?” He frowned at me. “What happened to Frederic?”
I looked down at the ground, afraid he would read the emotion in my eyes. I forced light humor into my voice. “You’re right, how foolish of me, I can’t imagine what I was thinking. It’s not as if you’re a prince, or anything.”
He chuckled softly. “There’s my Evie.” He said it so quietly I almost didn’t hear the words. His hand reached up and touched my cheek in the lightest of caresses before he turned abruptly and strode away. I froze and w
atched him disappear. When I turned back to Celine, she had also stopped and was regarding me with narrowed eyes.
“In my tent. Now.”
I grimaced and followed her, afraid of what she might have to say this time.
“That was brilliant!” she announced triumphantly as soon as we were alone. “I couldn’t have planned it better myself.”
I blinked at her.
“Except for the bit where you had me worried, of course. But blowing up at Frederic? Running away like that? I wish you could have seen how guilty and worried he was! We’ll have him declaring his love in no time.”
I sighed. “Celine, I didn’t plan anything.” But the heat from his touch still lingered on my face, and my admonishment held less conviction than usual. I had wronged him. Perhaps I had wronged them all when I assumed they were just the same as those who had made promises to me in the past.
The excess of emotions had left me exhausted, however, and I couldn’t process the thought without a good sleep. Except that sleep would have to wait, at least until Celine had abandoned whatever plan she was currently concocting to throw me together with her brother. Because if she thought what had just happened was brilliant, I trembled to think what situation she might thrust me into next.
Chapter 20
Celine must have read the rebellion in my face because she refused to confide any of her grand schemes in me. If she hadn’t been a princess, I would have wrung it out of her, but even I had my limits in terms of how far I could push my position.
The next morning the remaining Tour guards and servants packed our tents and belongings and then stood back to watch the desert traders at work. I offered to help Ofie, but he turned me away with a grin.
“How many years has it been?” he asked. “Six? You’re out of practice, city girl.”
I glared at him. He knew how I had hated it when the children of Caravan Osmira called me that. But his laugh and wink took away any sting, and I couldn’t stay mad at him. His cousin proved to be adept with the animals and skilled with the loading despite his small stature, and I could see why he hadn’t been left behind with the rest of the children outside Largo.
The Princess Search: A Retelling of The Ugly Duckling (The Four Kingdoms Book 5) Page 15