Blackbird

by D T Dyllin

  “Let’s go then.” I wrapped my arm around Kyle’s waist and pulled her into my side. She fit perfectly as if she belonged there, the way I knew she did. We walked across the parking lot towards the stairs that would take us up to the entrance of The Flying Saucer. I covertly scanned our surroundings for anyone who might have followed us. I saw nothing. We were actually the only ones in the lot at the moment besides Billy, from what I could see.

  Once inside The Flying Saucer we found some available seats in the beer garden and waited for our waitress. Kyle scooched as close as she could get to me without climbing into my lap. I didn’t miss the way her narrowed eyes scanned the employees. All the waitresses in the draught emporium were dressed in tiny plaid skirts of various colors, knee high socks and one of the company’s t-shirts. It probably wasn’t the best place to take Kyle with her insecurities. She was probably comparing herself to all the girls that were ten to fifteen years younger than her. It was ridiculous, but I knew she couldn’t help it. When all of this blackbird shit was taken care of I was going to make sure she sought out more regular counseling. I’d go with her if it helped. If only she could see herself the way I do then she’d never doubt how stunning she is. I stared at her profile. She really didn’t look a day older than the day she’d walked out the door and out of my life. She thought she looked so old but the truth was, she looked better than girls half her age. Some women just had good genes. My Kyle was blessed.

  I kissed her temple and murmured against her skin, “You’re the most beautiful one in here. No competition.”

  She leaned into me. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

  “I’m not. I’ve got no reason to, it’s not like you’ll be denyin’ me later.” My lips twisted up into a smirk. I knew the best way to take her mind off of her dark thoughts was to get her fired up.

  “Oh, reeeeally?” She whipped her head around to glare at me, her eyes snapping with fury. “You think I couldn’t turn you down later? You think I have no will power when it comes to you?”

  “I call ‘em how I see ‘em.”

  “Noah James, when did you get to be so damn full of yourself? Wanna put your money where your mouth is?”

  “Hi, welcome to The Flying Saucer, my name is Jennie, and I’ll be your server tonight. Have either of you been here before?”

  “Yes,” Kyle and I said in unison.

  Jennie smiled. “Good, then I’ll just let you know that tonight’s fire sale is Stella Artois until the kegs are tapped. Do you need a few minutes?”

  “No,” I said.

  “Yes,” Kyle said at the same time. She frowned at me. “Noah, you best not be thinking about ordering a Budweiser, do you see where we are? Broaden your horizons a bit.”

  “I like what I like,” I rumbled, sliding my hand up her leg under the picnic table.

  “Just give us a minute, Jennie,” Kyle asked our waitress politely.

  “Sure thing,” Jennie replied, spinning around to rush off to take care of her other costumers.

  I sighed. “I’m gettin’ a Bud. End of story.”

  “No, you are not.” Kyle reached over and pinched my arm.

  I scowled. “Actually, yeah I am.”

  “Fine then.” Kyle crossed her arms over her chest. “I guess if you don’t want to be open to new things then I won’t be willing to try new things either.” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “In the bedroom.”

  I shrugged, her threat utterly ridiculous. “I think we’ve tried pretty much all there is to try. I’d be happy rotatin’ through our current repertoire for the rest of my life. Besides, why do you care if I drink a Bud here or not? It’ll be in a draft glass, no one will know.”

  “I’ll know,” she grumbled.

  Thirty minutes later I nursed my beer, and yep, it was a Bud, while Kyle made her costume change in the ladies’ room. I’d get up to don my disguise in a few minutes, before texting Kyle when to meet me out front. Mikey was waiting around the corner for us, while Billy pretended to hold down the fort in The Union Station Hotel.

  I tucked payment for our beers into the little black bill book and stood. Jennie came by just at that moment to sweep it up. She discreetly popped open the book and then tilted her head back to meet my gaze. “No change?”

  “Nope, keep it.”

  She reached out and touched my arm. “I know it’s probably odd and I feel weird saying anything but—I’m a huge fan of Kylie’s. I just didn’t want to go all fangirl on her. Do you think she’d mind if I got an autograph or a picture or something? I understand if you think it’s a bad idea. Y’all probably just want to be left alone.”

  I internally cringed. Kyle wasn’t going to be looking like herself when she stepped out of the ladies’ room, I couldn’t exactly tell Jennie that though. She seemed like a sweet girl, and I did think she should be rewarded for respecting Kyle the way she had. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but Kyle already left. Maybe if you give me your email then Kyle can send you somethin’, I don’t know what but she does appreciate her fans a bunch.”

  Jennie tilted her head in confusion. “Kyle? Kylie you mean?”

  I was so used to referring to Kylie as Kyle sometimes I forgot that other people, like Jennie, wouldn’t know what to think of the nickname. “Of course. It’s an old nickname. I keep forgettin’ everyone doesn’t call her by it. So how ‘bout the email? I’ll make sure she gets it.”

  Disappointment briefly colored Jennie’s face. “Oh, yeah, that’d be fine. I mean, better than fine.” She scribbled her email on a napkin and handed it to me. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful I just was hoping for a picture. It was just an honor to even wait on her. No one will probably believe it though without a picture.”

  “Maybe next time,” I offered, heading off to the men’s room. I smiled to myself. Kyle really had made a name for herself. I was proud of her. And proud to be her man. I’d always thought she was something special, just now the rest of the world could see it too.

  I shifted the small gym bag over my shoulder, ready to get the rest of the plan underway. It’s go time.

  36

  ~Kylie

  I adjusted the short red wig in the mirror, making sure every last strand of blonde was tucked up underneath the attached cap. I’d changed outfits, applied some heavy black eyeliner, red lips and topped it off with the new hue of hair. I barely recognized myself.

  I pulled my phone out of my purse. No text yet. What was taking Noah so long? I tapped my foot impatiently and pretended to apply more makeup to seem busy and not like I was hiding in the ladies’ room. I dipped my head and avoided eye contact as several girls came in and out to use the facilities. Any one of them could be my stalker, I trusted no one. I hated how paranoid I had to be. Nashville was supposed to be my town—my safe haven.

  I pulled my phone out of my purse, yet again. Still nothing. I exhaled heavily. Be patient. Be patient. Dammit. Be patient. Yeah, it wasn’t working. Finally, impatience won out. I slipped out of the ladies’ room, craning my neck to see if Noah had even left the table yet. Maybe he hadn’t been able to pay the check yet, or maybe he thought I needed more time.

  My breath caught in my chest as I saw our waitress, Jennie, scribble something on a napkin to hand it to him. He took it, stuffed it in his pocket and smiled. Did she just give him her phone number? And more importantly—did he just accept it?

  I ducked back into the ladies’ room and locked myself in an empty stall. I sucked in deep ragged breaths, playing the scene over and over again in my head. An internal war waged.

  Noah’s a good man. Give him a chance to explain what you just saw.

  No, he’ll just lie.

  Noah’s not a liar, he’s never given you reason not to trust him.

  You can’t trust anyone but yourself.

  This is Noah, you’ve known him since you were ten years old. You can trust him.

  No, you can’t. He obviously thinks he can get away with having young side- pieces.

  Noah just as
ked me to marry him. He didn’t have to do that. He could have put me off on that front, but he didn’t. He loves me.

  He wants your money and connections. He’s changed. You don’t know him anymore.

  I clutched at my head, and ground my teeth together. I’m tired. I’m so tired of feeling inadequate for everyone and everything all the time. I’m tired of always being on the ground trying to claw my way up. I don’t want to do any of it anymore. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. Something inside me snapped, my emotions both positive and negative towards Noah drained from me. I stood up straight and unlocked the door, moving to stand in front of the mirror. I met my own steely green gaze.

  “Everything is going to be fine, I promise,” I said to my own reflection. I’d get to the bottom of things. I was being a drama queen, and paranoid. If Noah James wanted to fuck around on me I would find out and I would make him pay for it. There was no point in hiding in the bathroom and freaking out about what I could have possibly seen. All I had to do is act natural and the truth would reveal itself.

  My phone chimed, signaling a text message. I unlocked the screen to see Noah had given me the go ahead to meet him out front. I quickly checked on my disguise one last time before heading out.

  As I walked across the bar to the front door, I held my head high, smiling at some of the cute guys who eyed me suggestively. If it did turn out that Noah couldn’t deprive himself of younger women since he’d gotten a taste of them, then I’d develop a taste for younger men. Two could play at that game. And I was determined to win.

  37

  ~Noah

  I almost didn’t recognize Kyle as she made her way towards me, despite the fact that I’d known what her disguise was going to look like. It wasn’t just her appearance that had changed; her demeanor had morphed as well. Cool confidence radiated from her, making me want to strip her down and fuck her right there in front of everyone. I didn’t like the way that every male she passed eyed her like they wanted to see her naked. I wasn’t normally the jealous type, but damn, something felt off all of a sudden. The need to let everyone know that she was mine burned in my gut, and shot fire through all of my veins. I took a step forward and stopped myself. Rein it in. Rein it the fuck in.

  I forced my muscles to relax, reaching up to shift the baseball cap on my head, a Tennessee Vols hat to be exact. I figured it was the perfect accessory to my clothing change because normally I wouldn’t be caught dead in the thing. Plus I thought it’d give Kyle a little chuckle. Any kind of laugh was good in situations like this.

  When Kyle was near enough I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her into my side, not liking the physical distance between us. Normally she’d melt into me, but instead she remained stiff. “You pay the check?”

  “Yeah?” My answer came out sounding more like a question. Of course I paid the damn check. Did she think I’d forget or even worse intentionally stiff Jennie?

  “And everything went fine?”

  “Yeah.” Where is she going with this? I propelled us slowly forward, trying to not look like we were in a hurry. Nothing to see here. Just a normal couple heading out of a bar. My fingers dug into her side, the need to be inside her riding me hard. It’s not the time or place. Rein it in.

  “Hmm.” Kyle stiffened even more. “Okay then.”

  “What’s up, darlin’? You’re acting pretty strange all of a sudden. Is there somethin’ you wanna say to me?”

  “It’s nothing. Never mind.”

  It’d been years since I’d been in a real relationship, but if I remembered correctly, hearing that it’s nothing followed by never mind was not a good thing to come out of a woman’s mouth, especially Kyle’s. But I didn’t have time to delve into Kyle’s psyche at the moment. It would have to wait until we got back to the hotel.

  “Hey, Mikey,” I greeted my friend and employee as we slid into a purposefully non-descript sedan.

  “Hey, boss,” Mikey responded, meeting my gaze in the rear view mirror. “You both ready?”

  Kyle nodded and I gave Mikey the okay to shove off. I tried to take Kyle’s hand in mine but she slid away from me to gaze out the window. Fuck. Me. Something was definitely bothering her. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what it could be, unless… Was it some weird thing to do with her disorder that I didn’t understand? Had I been insensitive without realizing it? Maybe she needed to hear how good she looked in her new get up. I needed to try harder to understand how differently she saw the world around her.

  I inched towards her and leaned in slowly, close enough that I could smell her sweat pea body spray but far enough that she wouldn’t feel too crowded. I dropped my voice so Mikey wouldn’t hear me. “You look real sexy in that wig. Maybe you can wear it later and nothin’ else. It’ll be like fuckin’ a whole new girl. We’ve never done role play—” I snapped my mouth shut abruptly as Kyle turned to face me. Her green eyes were flat and cold as they studied my face. As if I was an insect she could and should crush with the heel of her boot.

  “You want to pretend I’m another girl? Anyone in particular?” Her voice was emotionless. Frankly, she was kind of freaking me out. I was used to Kyle’s mood swings, but no emotions from her was something I’d never witnessed before.

  I cleared my throat and tugged my hat off. “I simply thought it could be somethin’ fun. I didn’t mean anythin’ by it, darlin’.”

  “You don’t have to call me darlin’, darlin’.” She promptly turned away from me.

  I was going to take it as a somewhat good sign that she’d at least quoted part of a song. Something had her panties in a twist and as soon as we got to the hotel I’d be finding out exactly what it was so I could make it right.

  38

  ~Kylie

  Noah was delusional. He’d actually thought I was going to let him touch me when we got back to the hotel. He’d all but said he wanted to pretend I was someone else while he fucked me. I’d given him the chance to tell me about our waitress giving him her phone number. I’d considered the possibility that maybe he’d taken it to be nice and had planned on throwing it out. That’s all he would have had to say. But him not telling me, and then suggesting I leave the wig on… I was seething. I’d told him I was suffering from a world-class headache and gone directly to bed. Once there, I’d laid awake for hours, anger making my blood boil. The thing was—he hadn’t cheated—yet. And before I accused him of anything, I needed the proof. Easy enough as long as I pretended to be clueless. Men always liked to think they were too smart to get caught. I was going to nail his balls to the wall.

  Sometime in the early A.M. Noah slipped from our shared bed and quickly showered. I heard him speaking with Billy in the other room, their voices nothing but low rumbles. Soon after the suite was quiet. One of the two of them had left. I was guessing Noah, otherwise he would still be in bed trying to rub up on me.

  Wanting to make sure, to be on the safe side, I made my way into the other room, finding Billy on his laptop. He smiled and nodded a greeting, before going back to whatever he was doing.

  “Where’d Noah go?”

  Billy shifted uncomfortably and didn’t lift his head again to meet my gaze. “He’ll be back in a few hours. I’ll let him talk to you then.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “He thought I would sleep until he got back from wherever he went, didn’t he?”

  “He didn’t mean any harm by it—”

  “Like hell!” I marched back in the bedroom and slammed the door. Anger was burning me up from the inside out. I lifted my hair to cool off, the room almost too stuffy to breathe. I turned on all the lights and started searching through the pockets of what he’d worn yesterday. It only took me a minute to find the folded up napkin. It wasn’t a phone number like I’d suspected but an email address with Jennie’s name scrolled above it with a smiley face. Is that how he though he wouldn’t get caught? He’d set up his rendezvous sessions via email? I stomped into the bathroom and flushed the napkin down the toilet. It did
little to make me feel better though. There were thousands—millions of napkins with just as many girls willing to put their information down on them for Noah.

  I dropped to my knees and started to cry. I only wallowed for a few minutes before the emotional vacuum that had been ruling me before shifted back into place. I pulled myself to my feet slowly, my mind shuffling through ideas. I would make Noah pay for what he was doing to me. He’d given me hope back. Hope for a future with him and a chance at real happiness. He was playing me for a fool. Just like all of my ex-boyfriends. I’d thought Noah was different. I’d been wrong…again. He’d changed, become someone I didn’t know and couldn’t trust anymore.

  I paced the room in front of the bed, back and forth, back and forth, for what seemed like hours, trying to figure out the perfect plan. Slowly, ever so slowly, anger began to seep back into my consciousness. I tried to stave it off. I liked being detached better, but it seemed useless. The dull roar of rage swept through me, coloring my vision with hate. My eyes landed on my guitar. I picked it up and started playing. I plucked the strings with hostility, letting my raw emotions move through me to find their outlet in my instrument.

  Wake-up, understand, I won’t be your toy

  Love is a pact and a mutual joy

  So if you pick goin’ drinkin’ over bein’ with me

  This is your last call honey

  Here’s how it’s gonna be

  I’ll be cuttin’ you free if you’re convinced that you’re bound

  But is an unattached drinkin’ friend’s advice really sound?

  And I’ve given it thought you’d better give it some too

  ‘Cause if you don’t give something you can take it we’re through

  Face up like a man and stop acting coy

  Love is a pact and a mutual joy

  So if you pick goin’ gamblin’ over bein’ with me