by D T Dyllin
It’s time to pay up honey
Here’s how it’s gonna be
I’ll be cuttin’ you free if you’re convinced that you’re bound
But is an unattached drinkin’ friend’s advice really sound?
And I’ve given it thought you’d better give it some too
‘Cause if you don’t give something you can take it we’re through
Grow up, Peter Pan, you can’t stay a boy
Love is a pact and a mutual joy
So if you pick goin’ fishin’ over bein’ with me
This is no tall tale honey
Here’s how it’s gonna be
I’ll be cuttin’ you free if you’re convinced that you’re bound
But is an unattached drinkin’ friend’s advice really sound?
And I’ve given it thought you’d better give it some too
‘Cause if you don’t give something you can take it we’re through
And though you’re gonna miss me
I won’t be missin’ you
The lyrics weren’t so much about Noah, but all of the men I’d dated. It was about feeling like second best to whatever that man most prized. The song was a different sound for me. It was sassy, gritty, and true country. Not some of the more pop country I mostly wrote and played.
Acid burned the corners of my eyes when I really mulled one phrase in particular over in my mind. I couldn’t cut Noah free. I just couldn’t. He was the only man I’d ever truly wanted. He’d been my first everything, and I’d honestly believed for a moment in time that he’d be my last. I gazed down at the engagement ring on my finger. Three dazzling diamonds glittered in the dim lighting. He’d kept both my rings all these years and I was ready to wear the white gold band that went with the one I was currently wearing. I wanted my life with Noah back. I wanted—
I dropped my guitar on the ground, the chiming discordance causing me to cringe. It echoed through the room and made me cover my ears. I couldn’t let Noah go. I just couldn’t. But there was no way I could accept him being with other women either. I wasn’t the type of person who could turn a blind eye and pretend I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know what to do.
I dropped to the ground right beside my guitar and curled into a ball. I don’t know…I don’t know…I don’t know…
39
~Noah
I slipped from bed and grabbed a quick shower earlier than I’d planned. I’d barely slept a wink. As soon as we’d gotten to the hotel, Kyle claimed she’d had a headache and pretended to go to sleep. I’d laid behind her all night, holding her stiff body, playing along with her act. I knew she was wide-awake. I could practically feel the waves of both anxiety and anger rolling off of her. Despite the tension between us, my dick remained hard as a rock all night. It didn’t seem to comprehend that Kyle was upset about something. Finally when I couldn’t take it anymore, I’d taken matters into my own hands, quite literally, in the shower. There was no way I could be seen in public otherwise.
I greeted Billy, who had relieved Mikey a few hours ago, as I entered what served as the living room in the suite. “I’m gonna head out now. Maybe they’ll let me in to see Vreck early.”
“You all right, chief?”
“I didn’t sleep well. And not for the fun reason. Kyle’s pissed off for some reason and actin’ all put out. I don’t have time to deal with it right now though. Plus she’s gonna be even more pissed when she finds out I went to see Vreck without tellin’ her. Might as well deal with one big fight than two little ones.”
Billy regarded me warily. “You’re not leaving me alone with her being all fired up, are you? Fuck. She’ll probably figure you went to see him.”
Billy’s reaction wrung a deep laugh from me. “Aww…don’t be afraid of little Kyle, she won’t hurt you. It’s me that should be runnin’ scared. And she may figure it out but she probably doesn’t think I would be able to get something set up so quickly. It was blind luck that I did, with Vreck’s lawyer being available today.”
“True,” Billy said even though his face hadn’t relaxed one little bit.
“Keep my girl safe, and I’ll be back as soon as I can.” I paused when I reached the door. “And Billy, if she gets this certain look in her eye, trust me when I say you’ll know it when you see it, and picks up the closest random object—duck.” I chuckled as the door clicked shut behind me. The truth was, Kyle did have a temper on her if you stirred her up just right. As long as her anger wasn’t directed at me, she was downright entertaining sometimes. Unfortunately, when I got back to the hotel, I would have to seriously consider wearing a helmet when I told Kyle where I’d gone.
Conner Vreck was on lock down at the Davidson County Male Correctional Development Center. The security status was only minimum, but since Vreck had only harassed and attacked Kyle, his lawyer had kept him out of going somewhere more appropriate, in my opinion. The Correctional Development Center’s mission statement talked about how they focused on a variety of efforts to improve the chances offenders did not come back to jail. One day Vreck would be walking around on the streets again because he was considered a prime candidate for rehabilitation. It was all bullshit if you asked me. He’d be on death row if he’d gotten the time alone with Kyle that he’d wanted. But instead he was in a minimum security correctional center because he hadn’t gotten the chance to kill Kyle. The thought both sickened and enraged me. And I was going to have to play nice to try and get any kind of information out of Vreck.
Maybe I should have let Billy handle this one too. Billy would have gladly met with Vreck instead of me. He’d been pulling more than his fair share of the work on Kyle’s case. He understood I was too close to be of much good to anyone most of the time. I’d already decided I wasn’t accepting payment from Kyle, but I’d make sure she hooked my boys up, especially Billy. They all more than deserved it.
I steered my thoughts away from my idol musings about business. I thrummed my fingers repetitively on the small white table in the room that Vreck was being brought into. His lawyer would be accompanying him, of course. I knew that’d be the case. The dirty bastard was probably afraid Vreck would say something to further incriminate himself and therefore ruin all the work that had been done to keep Vreck out of maximum security for life. I suspected Kyle wasn’t the first girl Vreck had stalked, but I did think she was the first who’d gotten away with her life. I couldn’t prove shit about the sick bastard though. I wished I could help his past victims but my first priority would always be Kyle.
I stood when Vreck made his way into the room escorted by two guards and his lawyer. The guards positioned themselves on either side of the door. My gaze briefly touched on Michael Folington, the short, slimy lawyer in a slick suit, as it passed on to land on Vreck. He was wearing a tan correctional jumpsuit, his thick blond hair cropped short. He was bigger than he’d looked in the pictures I’d seen online. The man’s eyes met mine with a twinkle even though he kept his face solemn, as if my presence was amusing to him somehow. I imagined he didn’t get many interesting visitors. I briefly wondered what he’d been told about why I was there.
The plastic chairs scraped the floor as the two men sat. I slipped back into my own chair. “Conner Vreck.” With more difficulty than I could have imagined, I managed to keep my voice even. “I have a few questions I would like to ask you. Your lawyer said you were willing to cooperate?”
“Yes, he told me they were questions about Kylie James?” His lips curled up, reminding me of the cartoon character version of The Grinch. “I like talking about her.”
“I’m sure you do,” I muttered under my breath, digging my fingers into the underside of the table. “I’m not sure if you heard but someone left Kyle—I mean Kylie a present backstage at one of her shows.”
Vreck frowned. “Blackbirds. That was my calling card to Kylie. It’s how—” He clamped his mouth shut, glanced at his lawyer who was shaking his head. “Before—when I’d been…sick. When I was sick, I liked to think of the b
lackbirds as my calling card to Kylie. It referred to the song Blackbird, it was something special between Kylie and I. It let her know I was thinking of her, that I was close.” He ground his teeth together. “Someone stole my M.O.”
M.O.? Okaaay. Maybe he quite didn’t understand what that meant precisely. “Is that why you’re willing to cooperate, to find out who stole your…M.O. from you?”
Vreck’s eyes darted around the room before they landed back on me. “Who are you to her?”
“To Kylie? Just security. And I’m investigating what happened for her. I plan on finding out who’s harassing her this time.” I didn’t want Vreck to know I had any kind of personal attachment to her. It would work much smoother if I didn’t. I could just sense it.
He studied me for a few seconds before speaking again. “Just security? Have you ever fucked her?”
“Conner!” Michael snapped.
I stared down Vreck, the tips of my ears flushing. “No. I’m just security.”
“Lie,” he replied, his face reddening. “If you don’t want to be honest with me then I’m not going to be honest with you.”
My hands formed fists under the table. “It’s not a lie.”
Vreck pushed his chair away from the table but remained seated. “I want to know details. One question for one question.”
“You know this can be used against you—keep you from getting parole early like I heard you were working so hard to do.” I raised a challenging eyebrow. How bad did he want to hear about Kylie? Was he willing to spend more jail time just for some information he’d probably jack off to? And was I willing to play ball with him to catch the copycat fuck who’d been harassing Kyle? I guessed I was just going to have to play it by ear, see how far the questions went. Plus getting some answers while possibly keeping Vreck in jail longer seemed win-win to me.
“I’m aware.”
“Conner, I must insist—” Michael began.
Vreck cut him off. “And I must insist that you shut up. You’ll still get paid. We both know you don’t care about me, just my pocket book.”
Michael nodded after a moment and relaxed back into his chair. He raised his hand and waved Vreck on. “Well then, by all means, do whatever you want. I can see I won’t convince you otherwise.”
Vreck grinned, gazing back in my direction. “He’s a smart man, that’s why I like him. So…what did you say your name was again?”
“I didn’t.”
“I guess an introduction is in order.” The smile dropped from his face. “Tell me your name.”
I hesitated. I knew Vreck had stalked Kyle, but at any time in his prying into her life, would he have unearthed my name? We had been legally married. It would be on record if he looked. And we also happened to still share a last name since Kyle had never changed it back after our divorce. But would any of it make a difference? I decided to play with fire. “I’m Noah—”
“James? You’re Noah James?” Vreck’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “You?” He tilted his head back and laughed. “I expected. I expected so much more.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kyle’s ex had said something along the same lines when he’d first realized who I was. Maybe just because of how I’d managed to own Kyle’s heart all these years, I was more legend than man. No matter who I was, no one could live up to a legend.
“You’re just not what I expected.”
“Neither are you.”
“Touché.” He smiled again. “My first question then, for Noooah Jaaames—” He drew out my name like he was announcing me to come up on stage somewhere. “—is… What is her favorite position?”
The sick bastard. I knew some of his questions were going to be over the line but I figured maybe he’d ease in slow. Looked like he didn’t care. I smirked. “All of them. As long as I’m the one inside her. Now my turn. Has anyone else been in contact with you in any way, asking you about the blackbirds or Kylie?”
“No. Is she loud when she comes?” Vreck fired back.
“Very. She likes to say my name over and over again. Apparently, she even called out my name when she was with her ex. No one can compare.” I bared my teeth. “Have you told any of your cellmates or friends in here anything about the blackbirds or Kylie, something that they maybe could have repeated to someone else?”
“I haven’t breathed a word. What’s she taste like?”
“Like fuckin’ heaven. Did anyone else know about the blackbirds or what you did before you were arrested?”
“No. Does she bruise easily?”
My pulse quickened. I’d been expecting another sexual question. Does she bruise easily? What the fuck? “She bruises just like anybody else. She’s just like—”
Vreck stood abruptly, his chair clattering to the ground. “She’s not just like anybody else! She’s special! She’s a fucking Goddess! Her voice—her skin—” He moved his hands down his face slowly. His eyes were wild, the kind of wild that only the truly insane possess. “She’s too perfect. That’s why I have to kill her. She let men like you defile her. I’d be saving her. And my reward would be getting to taste her before I set her soul free. Free like a little blackbird. Her wings are broken. I have to save her.” Vreck’s chest heaved and he grimaced, like he was just now realizing how royally he fucked up. The two guards had rushed forward to restrain him even though he hadn’t made a move towards me. As he calmed, the guards released him but stayed close instead of going back to their previous positions by the door.
Michael looked like he was about to break down and cry or shout for joy. Maybe he couldn’t make up his mind whether or not that little outburst would line his pockets with more green or not. “We’re done,” he said finally. “Conner, don’t say anything else.”
“Wait. I still have a few more questions.” Desperation washed over me. Vreck was my only possible lead, and he’d given me nothing—absolutely nothing.
“Not anymore you don’t,” Michael practically growled. He tugged Vreck up, even though he was a good foot shorter than his client and shoved him towards the guards.
A moment later I was left alone again in the small room. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Now what do I do?
40
~Kylie
“Kyle, darlin’,” Noah’s voice cracked. I unfurled from my tiny ball on the floor, lifting my tear stained face to meet Noah’s broken gaze. His dark hair was messier than normal, as if he’d been running his hands through it over and over again. It hurt to see him in pain. Was it because of me?
“What are you doin’ on the floor? Come here.” He bent down and scooped me up in his arms, shifting so he could sit on the bed with me cradled close to his chest. He rested his chin on the top of my head, his hot breath fanning across my hair. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
My mind rifled through everything that had been tormenting me since last night. Could I trust Noah? Or was he just another liar? “I—I—I don’t want to lose you again.” That was the truth. The root of my anxiety was another story.
Noah stroked his hand down my back. “Never. I’m never goin’ anywhere.”
“But where did you go this morning?” Unwanted images of him naked with other women rose up unbidden in my mind. Maybe he’d even met up with Jennie for an early morning fuck session. I leaned into him and inhaled. He smelled like him—and only him. No one else. He could have showered but his clothes were still the same. His spicy scent coiled through me, relaxing me almost against my will. I hated how the very man who was causing my anxiety was the one comforting me.
“I went to see Conner Vreck.”
I gasped. “You went without telling me?”
“I figured you were already upset at me for somethin’ so I might as well have one big fight instead of two little ones.” He chuckled lightheartedly but there was underlining tension riding his tone.
“I’m too tired to be mad at you anymore.” I’d cried and worried myself into a state of complete exhaustion. It always took too much effort to stay angry wit
h Noah. I felt like I was punishing not only him but myself when I denied him interactions with me. It was too difficult to stay mad at someone who you missed so much.
I didn’t want to think anymore. I just wanted to feel. I twisted in Noah’s arms until I was straddling him. I grabbed his shirt, each half of flannel in both of my hands, and yanked them apart as hard as I could. Buttons popped and went flying. His sculpted chest and abs immediately caught my attention. I dipped my head to slide my tongue from his collarbone down his body. Noah spun me around and tossed me on the bed, covering me with his large frame. I wrapped my legs around his waist and rolled him. I wanted to be in control this time. I needed to be. If he was fucking other women, I wanted to remind him who he belonged to. He’d been mine since I was ten years old, and he always would be mine alone—he just hadn’t accepted it quite yet. Maybe he needed reminding who owned him, heart, body and soul.
Noah lifted his arms to cup my breasts through my shirt but I flung them off of me, leaning forward to capture his wrists in my hands. I pushed them over his head. I narrowed my eyes at him, silently commanding him to give up control to me. By sheer force of will, I would dominate this situation.
With both of his wrists gripped with my left hand, I reached down to shimmy out of my pajama pants and thong. Once bare bottomed, I freed Noah’s erection. Meeting his gaze again, I slammed down on him, causing us both to groan in unison. I leaned forward, sliding my hands up to intertwine our fingers. I rocked up, and slammed back down, taking him roughly. I nipped at his full bottom lip, hard, tugging on it. Noah sucked in a sharp breath, his chest inhaling and exhaling raggedly. I moved faster and faster, dropping down on him as hard as I was physically capable of. A sudden orgasm ripped through me, taking me by surprise. I lost my rhythm, caught up in the wave of ecstasy that tore through my system.
I found myself suddenly under Noah, his lips tipped up in an arrogant smirk. “My turn,” he growled, lifting my hips up so he could grind into me from his kneeling position. I threw my arms over my head and moaned. Noah’s pace was more brutal than I could have ever hoped to build and I welcomed it, each and every thrust pounding away my dark thoughts, at least for the moment. I cried out again, seconds before Noah cursed to the high heavens and pulsed his release into me. He pulled out almost immediately and flopped onto his back, tucking me against his side. I closed my eyes, not wanting to talk, and finally feeling blissfully calm. I was lulled quickly to sleep by the thrumming of Noah’s steady heartbeat.