by Jacob Gowans
Brickert drained the rest of his drink in one swallow. But Sammy couldn’t bear to listen to another word. He had to leave immediately.
“Sammy you—hey, where are you going?” Brickert asked when he saw Sammy make a beeline for the nearest exit. Everyone turned to watch, so Sammy ran faster, even as Brickert continued to call out, “Hey! Come back!”
Sammy did not go back. Instead he went home and fell on his bed. At some point during the night he heard Brickert arrive. Sammy listened to his footsteps through the house until they stopped in Sammy’s doorway.
“You awake?” Brickert asked quietly. “Sammy?”
Sammy did not stir or change his breathing.
“Sammy?” Brickert said a little louder.
Sammy still did not move until Brickert went to his room. An hour later, Sammy finally fell asleep.
The next morning Sammy checked the schedule and saw that Croz had an appointment with Vitoria that he had neglected to mention. Think you can pull a fast one on me, Croz?
Sammy quickly dressed and drove Lemon down to the Pen. Croz was just on his way inside when Sammy pulled up. When their eyes met, Sammy saw a hint of disappointment but no traces of surprise on the psychiatrist’s face. “If it isn’t my therapist-in-training …” Croz called over his shoulder as he walked up the tunnel steps into the penitentiary.
Vitoria was in a ripe mood, behaving more lewdly and obstinate than normal. Sammy thought he could have handled it if she were switching back and forth between the quiet, timid version and the sassy, sensual version, but she wasn’t switching. She was stuck today in full on come-and-get-me mode.
She’s not improving, Sammy thought, tapping his feet on the floor at a double-time pace. And Croz has the patience of a glacier. He’s not getting the job done. He remembered Dr. Vogt and how different and more radical his treatment of Sammy had been. Why couldn’t Croz do something like that? Sammy had suggested it once, but Croz had shot him down saying, “You can’t treat a human being’s mind and soul like a one-size-fits-all sweater.”
“Did you ever play sports?” Croz asked Vitoria now.
“Pole dancing,” she answered, giving him a wink and spreading her legs a little.
Sammy stirred in his seat and folded his arms, still tapping his feet. “Toad said you were really good at football—”
“Sammy,” Croz warned him.
“He said you were a great goalkeeper.”
“I don’t know about that.” She grinned mischievously at Sammy. “I’d let you score on me.” Then she gave a small moan.
“Close your legs,” Sammy snapped in a sharper tone than he meant. “You’re a lady. And you’re definitely not enticing either of us.”
“Sammy!” Croz yelled.
“No. Let me talk to Vitoria. Toad called you Vivi most of the time, didn’t he?”
“I don’t know a Toad,” she responded. “Or a Vitoria or Vivi. I’ve told you a hundred times, my name is Jane.”
“Sammy, you need to leave,” Croz said.
But Sammy pressed on. “Jane is a common name. When a woman’s name is unknown, she’s called a Jane Doe. Vitoria means victory. A champion. I think it describes you better.”
“That’s nice,” Vitoria said, but she was anything but flattered.
“You can pretend if you want. If it makes you feel safe. Go ahead. Be Jane. Jane is a nice blanket to wrap yourself in. Jane, the girl who doesn’t mind her body being used without her permission. Who endures torment for months without complaint. Who does what she is told to do by her superiors. If you still need protection, use it. I’ve been there, too, Vitoria. Do you know what my pretend name was when I was tortured? Albert. Albert Choochoo.”
Vitoria laughed rudely. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“But true. Albert coped with the endless pain that I couldn’t when the Aegis got me. He was strong when I was weak. If it wasn’t for Albert, I’d have died. Or I’d have become a Psion Dark. And Toad would have been in Ultra Dark with you. Instead, I escaped, Toad came with me, and we became friends—such good friends that he jumped in front of a hand cannon for me.”
“Why would my—why would anyone die for you?” Vitoria clutched herself, her legs squeezed tightly together and her arms wrapped around her exposed midriff.
“Toad helped me,” Sammy admitted quietly. “He was patient with me—as patient as he could be—in some of my darkest hours. I loved him like a brother. That makes you my sister, Vivi.”
Vitoria rushed at Sammy. “My name is JANE!” Croz tried to stop her, but with her Anomaly Fifteen, she was too fast. She bumped into the doctor, sending his clipboard and carefully paper-clipped stacks flying. Before Vitoria could get any closer to Sammy, he pushed her away with gentle but firm blasts.
She didn’t speak after that. Nothing Croz did evoked a response. When he finally ended the session and thanked her for her time, Vitoria spat at Sammy.
“You are no longer welcome in my sessions,” Croz told Sammy when the door closed behind them.
“But—”
“Shut your mouth!” Croz shouted so loudly that the two Pen resistance guards jumped. “That was the one rule I had. That you shut your mouth.”
“You weren’t getting anywhere. She still thinks this is a game. A test.”
Croz put a finger on Sammy’s sternum. “You wouldn’t have even known that if I hadn’t told you. How would you know where I’m getting? What do you know about psychology, Sammy? What you read in some books? I’ve studied it for years. It’s my job, and I’m good at it as it so happens. But you? You think that because you’re smarter than me you can do my job better than me. You are out.”
The worst part about their argument was that Sammy still had to drive Croz back to the infirmary to submit his report to Dr. Rosmir. Sammy squirmed in his seat the whole way. When he pulled up to the infirmary, Croz got out, looked at Sammy, sighed, and then walked away. Sammy jammed down the gas pedal and drove back to his house.
Brickert was gone, but Jeffie was on the couch watching the news, waiting. Sammy didn’t notice her before he slammed the door.
“Are you intent on destroying all the doors in Glasgow?” Jeffie asked with a small smirk and a careful tone.
“One at a time.”
Her eyes lit up even more when she realized he was in a good enough mood to joke around. “You want to talk about it?”
“No.”
Jeffie patted the couch cushion next to her until Sammy sat on it. Then she lay down with her head on his lap. She had a barrette in her hair to keep her white-gold locks off her shoulders but it dug into Sammy’s thigh. “I love you,” she said.
“I know.”
“You missed one heckuva party last night. Fireworks even.”
Sammy put up his feet so the barrette wouldn’t dig so hard into his skin. “Sure I did.”
Jeffie sighed. “I was referring to Al and Marie.”
“What? They fought?”
“In front of everyone. It was so awkward. You have no idea. One minute a few of us were joking about baby names. Next minute they’re shouting until the commander took Marie away. You should have seen his face, Sammy. I thought he was going to punch Al. Maybe he should have punched him.”
“Al’s cracking, Jeffie. Punching him is not going to help.”
“You think he’s going crazy?”
“No, not cracking like that. Something broke him. I don’t know what. He won’t tell anyone.” Sammy stroked Jeffie’s hair for a while, not saying anything more. Jeffie reached up and touched his cheek.
“Oh crap, I almost forgot. Are you still down for blastketball?”
Sammy’s inclination was to say no. “Is Brickert going to be there?”
“I think so. He said he wants to jump right back into the routine. He’s working out right now with Natalia and Li. Does this have something to do with—oh wait, you said you don’t want to talk about it. Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Yeah, I’ll com
e.” Sammy got up and changed his clothes. Ten minutes later, after giving Lemon yet another boost, they were on their way to the gym.
Blastketball was a game of Miguel and Jeffie’s invention. Similar to basketball but with one important change: touching the basketball was not allowed unless the player was within a meter of his or her team’s basket. Since the Psions no longer had access to the Arena, it was the way they worked on blasting and kept it fun. Today they played with two teams of five: Sammy, Jeffie, Brickert, Kawai, and Natalia against Li, Ludwig, Rosa, Miguel, and Strawberry.
Often people came to watch and cheer them on as they rocketed off the walls, blasting the ball to one another with speed and accuracy. Today about seventy people watched. Jeffie was by far the best player. Between her stellar basketball skills and her natural accuracy she was a spectacle to watch. Sometimes Sammy even caught himself ogling her while she dunked the ball. He loved the way she fed off the enthusiasm of the crowd, even if it was only a few dozen people.
“Come on, ladies,” Jeffie taunted the other team. “You’re down by eighteen points. Get your heads in the game!”
Li, who had been dribbling the ball down court using a soft blast instead of his hand, used a powerful foot blast to send the ball arcing through the air. Ludwig used a jump blast from the three point line to catch the ball between two hand blasts. Natalia made a half-hearted attempt at defending the goal, but Ludwig scored on a soft jam, drawing a round of applause.
“Sixteen,” Strawberry said, sticking out her tongue at Jeffie.
“Timeout!” Jeffie called.
Sammy’s team huddled up around her. “What’s the matter?” he asked, “We’re killing them.”
“My barrette is driving me crazy. Here, Sammy.” She tossed the hair clip to him and tied her hair up in a ponytail with a band. “You have pockets.”
“You called a timeout for a barrette?” Brickert asked. “You’re such a girl.”
Jeffie punched him in the arm as the timeout ended. Sammy headed back onto the court and saw Croz standing near the door, hands in his pockets, motioning to Sammy with a jerk of his head that they needed to talk. Sammy told Jeffie he had to go, and ran over to Croz.
“What’s up?” Sammy asked coolly.
“I need you at the Pen.” Croz said the words with the same tone he might have used if asking for someone to kick him in the shins. “Vitoria tried to kill herself.”
“What?”
“When the guards brought her lunch, they found her hanging from a noose made from bed sheets. We’ve got her on suicide watch, but she’s asking to see you. Only you.”
“Is it a trick?”
Croz shrugged. “Maybe.”
“She wanted to kill me.”
“Maybe she still does. I kind of felt like killing you this morning, too.” Croz smiled, but Sammy did not return the gesture. “I’d appreciate it if you came down and spoke with her.”
“Will you let me go to her sessions again?”
Hands on his hips, Croz rubbed his mouth and considered the request. “Probably not. But if you do this and it goes well … I might be willing to reconsider.”
“Let’s go.”
At the Pen, Sammy found Vitoria on her bed reading Crime and Punishment, wearing only panties and a torn, baggy shirt. Sammy stopped when he saw her and looked at Croz. “No,” he stated. “I’m not going in there.”
“You know,” Croz said, “most guys your age wouldn’t let the door stop them from getting in there, seeing her like that. How did your wires get so crossed?”
“She’s Toad’s sister.”
“Yes, she’s Toad’s sister. But in here,” Croz tapped his skull, “she’s something Toad wouldn’t recognize. If you have to, pretend she’s wearing granny panties and has a little mustache.”
When Vitoria saw Sammy enter she tossed the book aside and hugged him. It was a lingering embrace with her body pressing into his. Sammy quickly released her, noting the sly grin.
“How’s it going?” he asked as he pulled up a chair.
Vitoria stuffed her book under her pillow and sat back down. “Fine. I’m happier now you’re here.”
“Why me?”
Toad’s sister smiled and shrugged. “We connect. Don’t you think?”
“Is that why you faked an attempt at suicide? So I’d have more motivation to come back and visit you?”
Vitoria sat back in her cut off tee shirt and crossed her smooth, toned legs, stretching them out so her toes almost reached Sammy’s knee. The knowing grin on her lips told Sammy his theory was spot on.
“You know what time they bring you lunch. You knew they’d see you and stop you. You knew Croz would take your attempt seriously despite his suspicions. And you thought, what? That I’d have to come back? Well here I am.”
“Here you are,” she said smiling.
“Now what? You’re going to try to kill me?”
For an instant, something on Vitoria’s face told Sammy that was exactly what she’d planned to do. Then she burst out in laughter. “No! I don’t want to kill you. I want you. Croz is nice. The others are okay. It’s you I look forward to seeing. That night we had dinner together in the hotel, I wanted you in that bed. I still do.”
Sammy winced. “Vivi, I would never have done that with you. That’s not me.”
Vitoria’s smile turned sad. “When I was in H.A.M.M.E.R. and then S.H.I.E.L.D. it was the only thing that gave me comfort.”
“I’d be a lousy partner. Being … inexperienced and all.”
Vitoria raised an eyebrow, her gaze now on Sammy’s shorts. Sammy crossed his own legs to stop her from staring at him. He tried to think of a way to change the subject. “Do you feel loyalty to them? To the CAG?”
“I’m a Dark agent. No matter where I am, I’m free.” She said the words as though they had been ingrained into her consciousness.
Sammy looked pointedly around the room. “Your surroundings suggest otherwise.”
“You give me books, food, a bed. Now if I can just get you in that bed with me, I’d want for nothing.”
Blushing furiously, Sammy rubbed his forehead. “Why are you so forward?”
“Why are you so backward?” She stared at Sammy shrewdly, and he stared back.
What’s your game? he wanted to ask her. Instead he said, “I watched you in action when we toured the S.H.I.E.L.D. facility. Despite being the youngest of the Ultras, you were already the best. Toad had a natural gift too.”
“Toad … I wish I could say that name meant something to me,” Vitoria said in a drawling tone. “But for you … one mention and you start tearing up. I have an idea. How about instead of all this psycho-nonsense, you just tell me why I was taken and what you want with me.”
After a long moment of silence, Sammy spoke again. “We want your help on a mission.”
“What mission?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
“Then I can’t help you.”
“Well … you can. You just won’t.”
Vitoria nodded. “Right.”
“You wouldn’t even do it for me?”
Covering her mouth, Vitoria laughed. She had pretty eyes, large white teeth, and a full, hearty laugh. “Sure I will. Just for you. Because what we have is so special.”
“Haven’t you wanted to be part of something bigger than yourself?”
“I am. It’s called Ultra Dark.” Vitoria threw herself back on her bed, arms spread open. “And it is amazing!” She said the last word with such breathlessness that Sammy rolled his eyes.
“Are you always so caustic?”
“Are you always so prudish?”
“I can relate to what you went through, Vivi. Being tortured for weeks screwed up my head. Some days I thought my mind was going to splinter. I have seen horror after horror after horror. And sometimes, even today, I wonder how completely scrambled I am after it all. I don’t feel like I should have kids or marry or anything because I am so emotionally and mentally fried.�
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“Your tragedies don’t make me feel better.”
“Talking helped me through it. I could show you the things I learned.”
“Why don’t you show me what’s in your shorts? I’m much more interested in that.”
“What? No, Vivi—”
“Take off your shorts!” she said, getting up and running over to Sammy. Vitoria was so fast, Sammy barely had time to stop her. She pulled and tugged and shoved her hands into his clothes, kissing his face greedily and wetly. “Take them off, Sammy. No one’s here.”
“Get off me!” he roared, forcing her away from him with a blast of moderate strength. She landed across the room, bouncing off her bed, and banging into the wall. Sammy cursed at her. “I have a girlfriend, and I—I don’t think about you that way.”
Vitoria giggled and rolled on her bed, stretching out lewdly, her hands now buried under her pillow. “All guys think about me that way. Girls, too. Maybe you just need a little more time to mull it over. Maybe next time you can bring your girlfriend too.”
“No! I don’t even know if there will be a next time. And if there is, I hope you’ll believe that this is not a test. It’s not a game! Can’t you see I’m trying to be your friend? That I want you to heal?”
For an instant Vitoria looked like she wanted to kill Sammy, but she threw her book at his face. Sammy jerked his head and let it fly past harmlessly. Disappointed, he opened the door, then turned back to face her. “Geez, Vivi. What did they do to you?”
Vitoria seemed to have some snarky response ready to let loose but she bit it back, and for a moment he saw fear in her eyes, and deep despair. This was different than the other times she’d pretended to be small and vulnerable. Perhaps it was even genuine. Is that you, there, Vivi? Hiding?
“What did they do to me?” she repeated. She chewed her lip before finally answering, “Everything.”
“I’m sorry.” A lump settled in Sammy’s chest and his heart ached. “I wish I could take what I know, what I feel, and just … put all of it in your mind and your heart so you could have hope. But I can’t. All I can do is sit with you, talk, and try to help you heal.”