There was fresh hurt in West’s eyes. “I could’ve protected you.”
“We were in high school, West. No, you couldn’t. No one could.”
“I could have. We were young, but what we had was powerful. If we’d stayed together, nothing he did would have mattered.”
Tina felt a guttural roar building in her center. “You think his behavior didn’t matter?” It didn’t affect them? Was he kidding? Maybe the town didn’t know as much about what went on behind the Ellet doors as she’d thought. “My dad hurt us. Can you understand that? My mom got the worst of it, but I was ruined. He shamed us, belittled us, denied us every single thing we needed from food to affection. He drank up all his paychecks, when he bothered to hold a job long enough to get one. He blamed us when he couldn’t. He blamed Mom for everything, and she took it lying down. Literally. And I—I was alone. And broken.”
West inched closer with an unfathomable expression. “You were never alone.”
Her skin crawled with humiliation. She hated baring herself to anyone, particularly her worst self, and especially to him. “Forget it.”
“Hey,” he said carefully. “I get why you wanted out of that house, even out of town, but it didn’t mean we couldn’t be together. You didn’t have to cut me off and act as if I’d never mattered. Like we hadn’t mattered.” His haunted expression teetered between regret and heartbreak. “I would’ve waited for you. For college. Whatever you needed to do. You knew that and you still left. You changed your number. Returned my letters. Why?”
She raised her hands in the air and let them drop lifelessly to her lap. “I had to.” She batted stinging eyes. “I did it because I loved you and you deserved more. Something better. More honest and less toxic than what I was.” She released a humorless laugh. “What I am.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You’re not toxic.”
“Of course you don’t think so. You refuse to see me for the mess that I am. I’m a train wreck waiting to happen. The people I love either hurt me, like Dad did, run from me, like Mom, or die, like Thomas.”
“That’s only three people, Tina, and it’s not everyone who loved you. I loved you.” He ground the words through his teeth, shredding her heart with each syllable. “I never left or ran away. Hell, I’m still right here where you left me ten years ago.”
He’d loved her. Past tense. A long time ago. Another lifetime. She ignored the painful churning in her chest. She had to be logical and calm. Had to make him understand. “Look.” She exhaled slowly and began again. “Do you think my parents started out all messed up and wasted? That one day, long ago, some young, drunk version of Dad saw a young depressed version of my mom, thought to himself, I’d like to trash her life, so he slapped her across the face, told her it was her fault that he never had anything nice and she married him?”
West recoiled.
“Every couple starts out happy,” she said. “Young. In love. Hopeful. Even them, and look what happened. I didn’t want to wind up like them, and I sure as heck wasn’t going to drag you down with me.”
He caught her hand in his and smoothed his palm against hers. “You aren’t your mother, and I’m not your father. We are nothing like them.”
“You’re exactly like your dad,” Tina argued. “Just like your brothers. Your uncles. I would expect you of all people to know that it’s true what they say about apples not falling far from the tree.”
West blew out a long, angry laugh. “I turned out like my family because I chose to. It was my goal.” He pounded a fist to his chest. “I decided who I became. Just like you did.”
Tina nearly choked on a sharp intake of breath. The emotions that had been hiding away and making her numb came back with a crushing blow. She wanted to believe him, but she’d never seen herself the way West had. Strong and independent. In control of herself and her life. Those were just more things she wished were true, but weren’t. “If I decided how my life would turn out, then why am I here like this now?” Her hands balled into fists on her lap. She pulled them away from him. “A madman, who I counseled—” she swallowed back the cracker attempting to reemerge “—stole my baby. He killed one of my patients.”
“I know.”
“Don’t do that,” she warned. “Don’t try to smooth this over. Not everything that goes wrong in the world can be fixed with a little Garrett charm and a few waves of your magic badge. I did this. I let Carl get close to me, and I ruined everything I worked for with my ignorance.”
A crippling sense of loss flattened her will to fight, and she fell into West’s waiting arms. Pride demanded she get up and walk away, but she couldn’t bring herself to care about pride anymore. “All I ever wanted to be was a good mother,” she whispered against his chest. “And I failed.”
* * *
WEST FOLDED TINA against his chest. He hated the pain she was in. Hated Carl for putting her through this now, and her dad for everything he’d put her through before. Most of all, he hated himself for not telling her that he was the reason her mom had vanished.
He pulled in a deep breath and peered down at the top of her troubled head. “Tina.” He cleared his throat, choosing his words carefully, despite the awful timing. If he didn’t tell her soon, the truth would seem like something he’d intentionally kept from her, instead of something he’d hoped to bring up when they weren’t in the middle of a crisis.
Tina twisted in his grip and stared back at him with wide, red-rimmed eyes. “Yeah?”
His phone buzzed on the table, halting the words on his tongue.
She shifted away from him, wiping her eyes against her sleeve. “What is it?”
“Hold that thought.” West snatched the phone off the table and checked the text. His stomach soured at the stream of photos arriving in succession.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, craning her neck for a better look at the unthinkable.
A small pink pacifier lay under the edge of a worn-out couch. The small plastic nub was speckled with dirt, dust and hair from the yellowed linoleum floor. “Blake and his men are inside Carl’s trailer.”
“Oh, God.” Tina ran for the bathroom. Her retch was audible as West responded to the text. He’d accept that response as a positive ID of Lily’s pacifier.
* * *
THEY RODE IN silence to Carl’s place.
Tina had threatened to walk when West tried to convince her to stay at his house until the search was completed. They’d compromised with her agreement to wait in the cruiser. As anxious as she was to get a look at the location where Lily had been held, the trailer was a crime scene and she was forbidden from entering. The best West could do was report back and share photos as he explored the space. Part of him was glad to have her there. Leaving her alone anywhere too long was a risk he wouldn’t take.
He parked behind a line of cruisers and government vehicles filling the space between Carl’s trailer and the county road. “Sit tight,” he said. West climbed out, but waited for Tina to nod in agreement before closing the door.
He headed up the gravel lane in search of Blake. By the looks of it, all the Cade County deputies were aiding the search party, as well as a significant influx of federal agents. A bubble of pride puffed his chest.
Blake’s FBI team crawled over the trailer in matching navy jackets with yellow block letters, shining black lights, snapping photos and bagging evidence. One agent dug through an overturned trash can beside the wooden porch. The putrid stench of spoiled food and loaded diapers peppered the air. West pressed one wrist against his burning nose. The agent’s thin latex gloves and medical mask didn’t seem like nearly enough protection.
West lifted his chin when Blake took notice of his approach. “What have we got?”
Blake braced his hands against his hips. “This place is a pigpen. I don’t know how anyone lives like that. I hate to think of what that baby went through.”
“We’ve got dirty diapers and empty formula cans in the trash,” Blake said. “There’s paths everywhere. Boot prints and ATV tracks crisscross the whole property. I can’t say for sure yet if the prints are Carl’s or not. We’re making casts of the impressions.”
“What else?”
A line of hounds weaved their way through the surrounding underbrush, eagerly chasing scents on the breeze. West knew they weren’t all trained to search for the living. He fought the blast of anxiety squeezing his chest. He wouldn’t accept the possibility of finding Tina’s daughter in an unthinkable condition.
“Well, wherever he went, he didn’t take his bathroom stuff. So either he’s planning to buy new, or he’s planning to come back. The second one would be stupid, so I’m going with the first. We’ve flagged his credit cards and put his face on every form of news media. We will flush him out. It’s only a matter of time. He can’t go anywhere in three counties without someone recognizing him and that baby. We’re expanding the Amber Alert as time goes on.”
“What about the cadaver dogs? Tell me they’re just doing their due diligence.”
“For now, yes. I figured I’d get some out here with the search team. Cover all the bases. See what turns up. The trackers were given items from Tina’s home to catch the baby’s scent, and we pulled Carl’s clothes from the trailer.”
A flick of instinct pinched his gut. “How far have the search teams gone?”
“Not far. They’re just getting started.”
West turned in a small circle, scanning the surrounding hills and trees. Something felt off about the scene before him. “Did you head over here after the search warrant came in?”
“Nah. The neighbors called the station. Said you spoke with them earlier, and they could hear the baby crying again.”
West twisted at the waist for a look over one shoulder. The Hickman’s home was barely visible through the trees. Tina’s silhouette was motionless inside his vehicle. He waved and waited. When she waved back, he sighed in relief. This whole case was getting to him. “Why didn’t you call me after you spoke with them?”
Blake dragged his gaze over West from head to toe. “When was the last time you slept?”
“Last night.”
“For how long?”
He glanced at Tina once more. West wasn’t sure how long he’d slept, but it was probably longer than Tina, and he wasn’t going to stop working this case until she had Lily back in her arms. She surely couldn’t take much more of this. His heart was nearly torn in two and he’d never even met Lily. He couldn’t imagine what Tina was going through. “I need you to keep me in the loop on this. All of it. I’ll decide when I sleep. Got it?”
Blake sucked his teeth and stared. “Yep.”
“Anything else you haven’t told me?”
“No. How about you? Did you make a trip out to see Ms. Baxter like Tina suggested?”
West groaned.
Blake snorted. “She’s a real piece of work, and her file’s a mile long. No wonder her kid is messed up.”
“I thought the same thing. I read the file. Didn’t see anything on Carl, though. Means he’s good. Smart. He’s never been caught.” West knew there was no way a guy went from being an upright citizen to a killer and child abductor in one day. He’d probably committed dozens of crimes over the years, all leading up to this. “Good news is he probably thinks he’s untouchable. That means he’ll get brave and stupid. When he does, I’m going to be there to...”
A sharp and sudden crack of gunfire echoed through the trees. The air rushed from West’s chest as Blake plowed into him, smashing him against the wooden porch. Together, they rolled onto the muddied ground and ducked around the trailer’s edge. A large hole splintered the boards just inches from where West had stood moments before.
The hounds went wild, barking and howling into the sky. The echoes of their laments soared through the hills as a dozen lawmen drew their weapons and took cover.
“West!” Tina’s voice rushed into the mix. She ran in the trailer’s direction, blind panic ravaging her face.
“Get down!” West launched himself toward her.
The next crack tore through his flesh. He’d no sooner heard the sound than felt the searing pain rip through his arm. A bulging rain barrel burst behind him with a loud snap. Water gushed onto the ground, splitting into rivers at his feet and slicking the already mushy earth.
West’s hand flew to his wound on instinct. He dove back to where he’d come with a rampaging heart rate and blinding pain. “Get down,” he called again, unable to reach Tina where she stood frozen in fear.
She swung her head toward the cruiser, then back to West, apparently torn between making a run for him or returning to the car, already several yards away. Her wide eyes locked on the blood flowing over his fingers where they wrapped his bicep.
“Now!” Blake barked at Tina. His voice was low and authoritative. “Move it!”
An irrational bout of anger rose in West’s chest at the sound of his brother speaking to her that way.
She winced, but found her feet and ducked behind the nearest cruiser. She pressed her back to the tire and covered her head with both hands.
“You okay?” Blake asked West, attention trained on the hillside.
“Flesh wound.” He peeled his fingers away and shook his jacket off for a better look. “Where’s that nerd Cole when we need him?” Cole would know how to stop the blood in an instant. He’d know how serious the injury was, and how soon West could climb the hill and stop Carl Morgan.
“He’ll be around in a minute,” Blake answered, still searching the trees for signs of the shooter. “He can smell an injury six counties away.”
West tried to tear his shirt across the hem and failed. The pain in his right arm kept it still at his side, and he couldn’t do much with his left.
“I can’t see a damn thing,” Blake complained. He inched out from behind the trailer and sent a round into the woods.
No return fire.
Blake swore. “You know the nut is up there in camouflage with a rifle and a scope, laughing at us with our peashooters and no advantage.”
West moved in the opposite direction from his brother, scanning the trees for a glint of sun off the rifle scope. “We aren’t crazy. That’s our advantage.”
“Is it, though?” Blake deadpanned. “Because right now he’s got us in a barrel, and we’re working blind while he tries to kill you.”
The words rang in West’s ears.
Carl wasn’t shooting at authorities for going through his trailer or interfering with his plan. He was trying to get rid of West like he had Steven from group therapy, and probably Tina’s husband. West wouldn’t be surprised if Carl had arranged this, intentionally allowing Lily to cry so the neighbors would make the call that brought him there.
The roar of an ATV engine echoed through the hills. West squinted into the distance, struggling for a glimpse at the vehicle hidden behind a million red and gold leaves. “He’s got an ATV. Just like the tracks you found.” He pulled his grandpa’s white handkerchief from one pocket and stretched it out in plain view of the hillside. He wiggled his fingertips, swinging the flag in surrender.
The engine’s roar grew soft and distant as West repurposed his handkerchief from little flag to bandage, wadding and pressing it against the gunshot wound on his arm.
Hounds rushed into view on long red leashes tied to trainers’ wrists, racing toward the disappearing sound.
Blake holstered his weapon, deflated. “He’s gone.” He marched toward the open trailer door, where an agent poked his head out. He ordered his team to stop what they
were doing and look for fresh ATV tracks. “Find them, then follow them. We need to know where he’s hiding.”
West made a run for Tina. His head swam slightly with pain and adrenaline.
Cole appeared in the driveway, jogging straight for him with the medical supply bag he never left home without. “Sit down before you fall down, you moron,” he scolded.
West chuckled, but kept moving. He must look like he felt.
He waved the nearest pair of deputies over in his direction. “Pull up an aerial view of this property. Find out what else is around here. There’s got to be another building. An old barn. Abandoned home. Someplace he could hide a baby, a truck and an ATV.” That would explain how he’d been able to disappear so quickly and thoroughly following the Amber Alert. Maybe he and Lily hadn’t gone anywhere at all. Maybe they were still right there in Cade County waiting for the chance to kill West or take Tina.
He landed in the gravel at her side, and his men dispersed.
Tina clung to West’s chest and kissed his cheek with fervor. “I thought I was about to lose you all over again.”
Cole squatted beside them, pulling latex gloves over his hands and prepping his medic supplies.
West stroked her hair and placed a kiss against her head. “I’m not that easy to kill.”
Cole cast a mischievous look in Tina’s direction. “Believe me. I’ve tried.”
West pulled her tighter and winced as Cole put pressure on the wound. Carl wasn’t getting anywhere near Tina. Whatever his plan was, it was going to fail because the next time Carl Morgan came within striking distance, West would be ready.
Chapter Fourteen
Cole drove West to the hospital in his cruiser. Tina followed in West’s, unapologetically running every light Cole did. He used sirens and flashers. Tina used a heavy hand and horn.
She locked the car and raced through the emergency room doors, desperate to see if West was still okay. That nothing had gone horribly wrong since she’d been forced to leave his side. Cole had insisted the wound was superficial, but the way he’d driven implied something more.
The Sheriff's Secret Page 13