182
‘There are p-p-posters up in the forest
about us and everything,’ boasted Toothless.
‘Us Escape Artists are running an escape service,
you see,’ explained Camicazi. ‘As soon as I heard that
they’d taken Fishlegs to Darkheart, I put the team
together. I thought, I’ve escaped from so many places
myself over the years, why not go the whole hog and
offer a truly professional escape service?
‘Don’t tell my mother, by the way…’ added
Camicazi, looking a bit guilty.
‘You’re a bit pongy, Hiccup,’ she said
conversationally. (Camicazi was always one to get
straight to the point.)
‘Stinkdragon,’ explained Hiccup. ‘It’s part of my
disguise.’
‘Nice one!’ admired Camicazi. ‘Check out some
of mine.’
She rifled in her rucksack, and brought out the
Wilderwest Prison Guard costume, the dragon outfit
(‘In case we get cornered by a Dragon Rebellion
attack’), the Peaceable Farmer get-up…
‘They’re fantastic, Camicazi,’ said Hiccup. ‘I
think the moustache may go too far though…’
‘No?’ said Camicazi disappointed, and trying it
on. ‘It’s one of my favourites.’
183
‘I’m just astonished that you’ve found a way
out of this prison,’ marvelled Hiccup. ‘People have
been trying to escape from here for centuries, not to
mention the Dragon Furious has been trying to get
in… it’s amazing.’
184
Camicazi had a few faults, like most of us, one of
which was that she was not very modest.
‘That’s because I’m brilliant,’ said Camicazi,
smugly. ‘You have to look for a building’s weaknesses,
you see. Drainage tunnels, that sort of thing. Look
at my collapsible ladder, made entirely out of broken
oars!’
Oh dear, that ladder did look perhaps a little
too collapsible.
‘You can’t beat a Bog-Burglar in a break-out
situation, I’m telling you,’ beamed
Camicazi.
‘And Fishlegs? Did you rescue
Fishlegs?’ Hiccup asked eagerly, his heart
lifting with hope.
Camicazi shook her head sadly.
‘No, we got here about a week ago and
we were too late for Fishlegs.’
Oh no…
No, no, no, no, no…
‘What do you think happened to him?’
asked Hiccup.
Camicazi sighed. ‘Well, when we arrived,
we rescued this boy called Bobblehands,’ she
explained.
185
‘Bug-eyed Bobblehands?’ asked Hiccup.
Camicazi nodded. ‘He showed us Fishlegs’s bed,
which is the one that you were sleeping in. He said
that Fishlegs had gone missing the day before.’
Hiccup could not believe it.
Camicazi sighed. She knew what Hiccup was
thinking. ‘I know,’ she said. ‘I didn’t want to believe
it either. Since then, even though we couldn’t rescue
Fishlegs, we’ve been trying to rescue a person every
few days. Any more and we reckon the witch will
start realising that something is up.’
Well, that explained why the people in the bed
Hiccup had been sleeping in kept on mysteriously
disappearing. Hiccup felt relieved on Eggingarde’s
behalf, because she must have been terrified when
every morning she woke up and another one had
gone. No wonder she thought that the Monster had
taken them…
But what had happened to Fishlegs?
Hiccup touched the lobster necklace that
Fishlegs had given him, for comfort.
As Camicazi had said, Fishlegs was the only one
who had not Turned His Back at the Flashburn School
of Swordfighting. Fishlegs had always been there,
believing in Hiccup.
186
‘I’m so glad we set up the escape service though!’
said Camicazi. ‘Now we can help you to escape!’
‘I don’t want to escape,’ said Hiccup. ‘I have to
find Fishlegs.’
Camicazi looked very serious suddenly. ‘Hiccup,
you are the only chance we’ve got. The whole of the
Archipelago is relying on you.’
‘We are,’ said Typhoon.
‘You betcha,’ said Harriettahorse.
‘You have to face it, Hiccup,’ said Camicazi,
sadly. ‘Fishlegs is gone. You should be out there finding
the Jewel, and I don’t think the Jewel is here.’
‘Yes, we’ve all been thinking that, too,’ said the
Wodensfang. ‘It’s one of Grimbeard’s red herrings…’
‘What did the funny little brown dragon say?’
asked Camicazi.
‘Never mind,’ said Hiccup stubbornly and
defiantly. ‘I’m not escaping… I’m still looking for
Fishlegs, whatever you might say.’
Camicazi sighed. ‘OK then, in which case I am
staying here with you. You are only a boy, after all,’ she
reminded him condescendingly. ‘You really need a girl
to help protect you on this Quest.’
‘You are not staying here,’ argued Hiccup. ‘What
would your mother say?’
187
‘Oh, she wouldn’t mind,’ lied Camicazi vaguely.
‘She’s got her hands full with the Dragon Rebellion.
They’re attacking the Bog-Burglar Islands every single
night now, a bit like here…’
‘No way are you staying here, Camicazi,’
repeated Hiccup. ‘You haven’t got a Slavemark,
it’s way too dangerous. Besides,’ he said hastily,
remembering how much she loved danger and so this
would just be an encouragement, ‘you have to lead
your escape service. There’s this kid called Eggingarde
who sleeps opposite me, and I think she really needs
to escape, the whole Darkheart experience is getting
her down.’
‘All right, then!’ said Camicazi,
thoughtful for a second, and then allowing
herself to be distracted. ‘Bog-Burglars,’
she addressed the Escape Artists in a loud
conspiratorial whisper, ‘lets put into action
Operation Eggingarde!’
‘Operation Eggingarde!’ repeated
Typhoon, Sporta, Harriettahorse and Beefburger,
giving each other the Bog-Burglar high-five.
189
12. BEAR-MAMA
Meanwhile the Deadly Shadow slunk through the
door of the dungeon that Camicazi had left open.
You couldn’t see it of course. But the Sniff! Sniff!
Sniff!-ing noise went snuffling across the floor like the
sludgy trail of an invisible snail, and a light wind blew
through the centre of the dungeon.
The Deadly Shadow’s talons were already out.
Its broken heart was pure steel. The Red-Rage had
so clouded its invisible eyes that they had almost
become visible with hatred. The snuffling stopped at
Hiccup’s bed. The bed was empty. The Shadow gave
a surprised snort and its talons raked through the
remains of straw a
nd bedding. Nothing there either.
The boy must be somewhere else!
The Deadly Shadow was so steaming mad that
for one moment he turned visible and you could see
the actual smoke that was drifting out of all six of his
ears.
The Shadow silently exploded what remained of
the bed, and it stalked out the door again on furious
silent tiptoes. And woe betide Hiccup if the creature
ever found him…
Two minutes later, Hiccup and the Bog-Burglar
191
Escape Artists arrived back at the door of the
dungeon.
‘What has happened here?’ whispered Hiccup,
looking at his bed, which seemed, quite literally, to
have exploded, sending a rain of straw all round it in
every direction.
‘Wow,’ said Camicazi. ‘You’re a restless sleeper.’
Hiccup started trying to tidy it up. ‘You’d better
get a move on, guys, if you want to escape with
Eggingarde before morning.’
So Camicazi and the Bog-Burglars were about
to do their normal routine of bundling up Eggingarde
in her blanket while she was still asleep, but Hiccup
wouldn’t let them. ‘You might worry her,’ said Hiccup.
So Hiccup woke her up gently.
‘Ssh,’ said Hiccup, ‘these are some
friends of mine, Eggingarde, and they’re
going to help you to escape back to your
Tribe and your mother.’
Eggingarde looked at him with her
big solemn eyes, and then she gave a
huge, gap-toothed smile.
‘Do you think I
have a mother?’ smiled
Eggingarde.
‘I’m sure you do,’ said Hiccup, ‘and I bet she’s
been really missing you.’ And he re-did the buttons
on her bearsuit so they were in the right buttonholes,
so she’d look her best for her mother.
‘Camicazi?’ whispered Hiccup. ‘I think maybe
you should deliver Eggingarde back to her Tribe,
the Northern Wanderers. You’ll find them up north
somewhere, wandering about. Now that,’ he added
craftily, ‘now that is going be a really dangerous
mission, because you have to go through Dragon
Rebellion Territory to get up there…’
‘OK,’ Camicazi whispered back.
Hiccup looked at her suspiciously.
It was unlike Camicazi to be quite so obedient.
‘Bye then, Camicazi.’
‘Bye,’ said Camicazi, widening her big blue eyes
innocently.
‘Goodbye, Eggingarde,’ whispered Hiccup.
‘Goodbye, Hiccup,’ Eggingarde whispered back.
‘Goodbye, Stormfly,’ said Toothless, doing
three elaborate somersaults in the air to show off,
nearly knocking himself out when he bumped
into a pillar in the process, and then struggling to
re-arrange himself in the air to look glamorous.
‘Goodbye, Toothless the Outcast,’ cooed the
193
Mood-Dragon, batting her eyelashes coquettishly at
the slightly dazed Toothless as she followed Camicazi
and the Bog-Burglar Escape Artists and Eggingarde
tiptoeing out the room.
And that was how Eggingarde made her escape
from the Amber Slavelands, and from this story, back
to the safe warm arms of her mother, Bear-mama,
(who had indeed been missing her), back to the
magical stories of her scary Wanderer grandmother,
and back to the admiration of her little brother
Bearcub, whom she had never met.
OK, so at least Camicazi is going to be all right
and out of danger for a while, thought Hiccup dozily.
It’ll take the Bog-Burglar Escape Artists quite a long
time to locate the Northern Wanderer Tribe.
‘I wonder who did this?’ whispered the
Wodensfang, looking at the rags and straw strewn
all over the place, his ears doing that going-purple-
and-indicating-danger thing.
‘Wodensfang, you’re paranoid,’ said Hiccup,
yawning.
‘It’s only paranoia,’ whispered the
Wodensfang, ‘if things aren’t out to get you…’
But Hiccup and Toothless were already asleep.
194
A Happy Ending
for Eggingarde
13. THE PAST HAS A WAY OF
CATCHING UP WITH YOU
Very, very early the next morning, the first drizzle
of sun rose over the Dragon’s Graveyard. The Red-
Rage attack subsided with the first appearance of
the sun, and the Exploding Things fell silent on the
battlements.
But who was this, picking his way in a little boat
through the lingering smoke of the explosions, those
grim cathedrals of dragons’ bones where the seagulls
are now shrieking?
It was the Hairy Scary Librarian, an old enemy
of Hiccup’s. He was a tall bent sinister figure, with a
beard so long it was dribbling after him in the water
like he was taking it for a swim, and two amber-nets
on long poles that he called his ‘Heart-Slicers’. The S
on the Librarian’s forehead proclaimed that he was
a slave, but he was what was known as a ‘trusty’
slave, which meant that the prison guards trusted
him to go out of the prison for short tasks and
expeditions such as this one. He was collecting up
the spears and ammunition so the Wilderwest
Warriors could use them when the Rebellion
attacked again tomorrow night.
197
The Hairy Scary Librarian poled his way past
the dismal fresh corpse of a gigantic Rhinoback. He
spotted something by a little island, hidden in the
reeds. He stretched out his right-hand Heart-Slicer,
and picked up the something in the net, and hauled
it dripping wet into his boat.
It was a helmet.
The Hairy Scary Librarian tipped the helmet
over, pouring out the water. ‘Tick-tock’ went the
wheels in his brain, as he remembered the Visithug
Warriors returning to the prison several weeks ago,
saying how they had nearly caught Hiccup the
Outcast, undoing dragon-traps again.
They had described Hiccup as wearing a very
particular helmet. One, just like this one, with that
rather stupid broken plume on the top.
‘So-ho,’ whispered the Hairy Scary Librarian,
smiling a horrid smile. ‘This is Hiccup’s helmet, is
it? Which meanssss,’ smiled the Librarian, laughing
wheezily to himself, ‘that Hiccup is somewhere in the
prison, and I can tell the witch, and get my own back
on that horrible little Hiccup who is the reason I am
here in the first place… and get my freedom into
the bargain!’
The Librarian turned, and poled his way back
to Prison Darkheart, slaloming crazily through the
corpses, with all the eagerness of one who has waited
long to settle an old score.
Everything we do, you see, has its
consequences and repercussions, every kind
act, and every bad, every friend we
make, and every enemy.
&nb
sp; Everything is connected.
14. THE LUCK TURNS
ALVIN’S WAY
Horribly early the next morning, even earlier than
normal, the prison guards woke everybody up by
banging their swords on their shields and yelling:
‘EVERYBODY UP AND IN THE COURTYARD!
The witch Excellinor has called a crisis meeting!’
Blearily and half-asleep, Hiccup staggered up
the dungeon stairs to the courtyard with all the other
slaves.
And then suddenly, he felt very awake indeed,
nerve-tinglingly, eye-openingly, brilliantly awake, as
he tried to peer between the enormous guy in front
of him to see the witch and Alvin the Treacherous
sitting at the table. The witch was tapping her iron
fingernails…
… and in front of the witch was yet another
someone who Hiccup knew from the past.
They say that the past has a way of catching up
with you, and the distant and not-so-distant past was
certainly catching up with Hiccup big-time, in the
two days in which he had been trapped in the great
Prison Darkheart.
The Hairy Scary Librarian was holding, in his
200
hands, Hiccup’s helmet.
The one that Windwalker had accidentally left in
the bay because he was so upset.
Aaargh.
It was too late for Hiccup to get away now. He
was so wedged in by the crowd he couldn’t even move.
Alvin the Treacherous stood up, his warts swelling
with revolting gloating triumph like he’d just won the
Barbaric Games.
‘MISERABLE SLAVES OF THE AMBER
SLAVELANDS!’ called out Alvin. ‘WE HAVE A
TRAITOR IN OUR MIDST!’
Murmurs of astonishment among the slaves.
‘This morning,’ continued Alvin, ‘one of our
“trusty” slaves, Hairy here, was out in the bay of the
Dragons’ Graveyard cleaning up after the Dragon
Rebellion attack, when he discovered this helmet.
‘My Warriors tell me that this was the very helmet
that was worn by that traitor Hiccup Horrendous
Haddock the Third when they last found him undoing
our dragon-traps.’
Oh for Thor’s sake, thought Hiccup bitterly. I
How to Train Your Dragon: How to Seize a Dragon's Jewel Page 10