That night, Lucy woke him up with a nightmare. When he went into her bedroom to make sure she was all right, Amanda was already sitting in the bed with his daughter. His heart tightened at the sight of her holding a crying Lucy in her arms like she was the most precious thing in the world. He leaned back against the doorframe and never took his eyes off them, until he couldn't take more of their conversation.
"It's okay, Lucy. It was just a bad dream. You're okay." Amanda had Lucy cradled into her body, running her hands down his little girl's back as she soothed her.
But when Lucy spoke next, the remaining piece of his heart shattered and he knew he had to fix things fast. "Are you and daddy going to break up?" The tremor in Lucy's voice was too much to take, and he felt the tears spilling down his face.
"Why would you ask that?" Amanda had questioned Lucy in a voice that revealed just how emotionally shaken she was by the question.
"He's been sleeping on the couch, and you fight a lot. Is it because of me?" When he heard his daughter, he wanted to barge into the room and tell her it had nothing to do with her.
Before he could do anything, Amanda said exactly the right thing.
"Oh, honey, no, it's not because of you. I don't want you to ever think that. Your daddy and I are just going through some hard things right now, but it has nothing to do with you, I promise. We're just going through some stuff."
"Okay then. Can you sleep with me tonight?"
And that was how he ended up in his mom's kitchen at 7 a.m. the next day, desperate for advice on how to fix the mess he'd allowed by not nurturing his relationship with Amanda.
"Honey, are you all right?" his mom asked when she walked in the kitchen and saw him sitting at the table alone, coffee cup in hand.
"I need some advice, Mom," he finally managed to get out through the burn in his throat.
He watched as his mom poured herself a cup of coffee before sitting down beside him, looking as concerned as he was. "What's going on? You look like you're facing a big decision."
"I'm screwing everything up, Mom. I don't know how to handle being a dad to Lucy, and being with Amanda. I feel like, no, I know I'm putting Amanda on the back burners, and things are not good, Mom. We haven't slept in the same bed in weeks. It's like we're roommates more than a couple, and I don't know how to fix it without making Lucy feel like she's not as important. I can't lose her, Mom. I can't do this without her." He dropped his head in his hands when he finished talking. Getting the words out in the open was like removing a pressure on his skull he hadn't even noticed was there.
"When Becca was born, I was so overwhelmed. I had four boys who demanded a whole lot of attention and energy, on top of a newborn baby girl who needed me to be the best mother possible. But I also had a husband who I loved more than anything in the world, and who was amazing with his kids. When you have children, it's so easy to forget that you're more than just a parent. Your father and me, we were so caught up with being parents that months went by and it was like we forgot that we were also married. When it hit me that we hadn't been intimate in any way in a couple of months, it hit me hard." He listened to every word his mom spoke, like she was telling him a secret he just had to know.
It was so strange to be sitting at the kitchen table he'd grown up around, listening to his mom talk about the troubles she and his dad had faced. Growing up, they always looked so happy, so fulfilled that it was hard to believe it hadn't always been that way. "How did you guys fix it?"
"Cole was old enough to babysit then, so your dad rented a room at this beautiful bed and breakfast near Helena. He took me away from everything else so we just could be us. Children are beautiful, amazing things to have and to share as a couple, but finding the right balance is also important. You have a family who loves you, Drew, and even if things have been crazy lately, we are always here if you need us."
As he took a sip of his coffee, a plan formed in his head. He had neglected his relationship with Amanda for weeks, and it was about time he stepped up and be the man she had chosen. "Do you think you could watch Lucy this weekend?" he asked his mom, hopeful he could get them back to where they once were.
"Of course, honey," she told him, squeezing his hand while smiling up at him.
He had three days before the weekend at the bed and breakfast, and he planned on making the most of them. Every morning, he got up before Amanda and made breakfast. Sure, he wasn't the greatest cook, but he could get around the kitchen, and seeing the smile on her face every morning as she came down the stairs and saw him made it all worth it. He started leaving little notes in her purse so she would have a reminder of how much he loved her when she was at work.
The big test came when he asked his brother if his workload could be lightened for a couple of weeks. He hated being the one responsible for his brothers working harder than they already were, but he also knew something had to give. "It's about damn time you asked for help," Nick had said.
"I can't do this myself," was his response, because that was all there was to say.
The next day, he took Lucy to the diner to surprise Amanda and when Lucy started to run toward her, the hopeful yet inquisitive smile she offered gave him hope.
That night, he had finally had enough of sleeping on the couch. If he was going to fix them, he had to be there with her; it was the only way his plan was going forward. When he'd slipped under the covers and pulled her body tightly against his, she surprised him by snuggling closer, her face buried in his neck, inhaling his scent.
"I miss you, baby," he told her as his hands roamed over her back.
"I miss you, too. We haven't been a couple in weeks," she whispered against his skin as he held her. No other words were spoken because in that moment, nothing else needed to be said. He held her as they both fell asleep, the anticipation of the weekend to come humming through his body.
When he woke up the next morning, he climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Amanda. He took a shower and woke up Lucy, who was beyond excited to spend the weekend with her grandma. Half an hour later, his mom knocked on the front door and he ushered her in as quietly as he could. He kissed Lucy goodbye and when his daughter was safely buckled in his mom's car, he grabbed the suitcase he had had Abby prepare and loaded his truck.
When everything was ready, he poured a cup of coffee for Amanda and headed upstairs. She was still sleeping, her body barely covered by the comforter. He bit back a groan at the sight of her ass peeking out, teasing him. He put the coffee cup on the bedside table and sat down beside her, running his hands over her arms and back to wake her up.
"Drew, what's going on?" she asked, still half-asleep. She looked so beautiful with her hair all over the place, not a trace of makeup on. His cock ached when she shifted on her side, giving him a perfect view of her barely covered breasts. At that moment, he had no doubt this little getaway was exactly what they needed.
"What's going on is that you and I are going away for the weekend. My mom has Lucy, and you are all mine, baby. You said we haven't been a couple in weeks, and that's the truth. It's time we change that."
"I have work, Drew. I can't just leave out of the blue," she tried to argue, but he wasn't having any of it. They needed this, and they were doing it.
"I talked to Abby, and everything is set. Now, you can stay in bed and keep finding reasons why you can't come with me, all of which I will shut down, or you can get up, get dressed and give me the weekend to start fixing us."
"Okay, I'll go away with you." He leaned closer to her and pressed what was meant to be a soft kiss to her lips. However, the instant his lips touched her, he lost it. He flipped her on her back, kissing her with all the pent-up need of the last few weeks, and covered her body with his, his arms on each side of her face. He kissed her like a starving man, and by the way she was kissing him back and moaning, he knew she was right there with him. Her hands pulled at the back of his shirt and her legs wrapped around his waist, putting his erection at the center of her cotton-cove
red pussy. He threw his head back and growled when he felt her heat through his jeans.
He dropped his forehead to hers, a gesture that had become so meaningful for them, and he looked in her eyes as he talked. "I know I've been neglecting you, neglecting us, and I am so sorry, baby. I promise you I will do better, that I will always nurture what we have, no matter how crazy life gets. I won't take you for granted again. Now, I'm going to get off this bed before I end up fucking you into the wall. You're going to get dressed, and then we'll get on the road. When we get where we're going, I promise you, this body is fucking mine."
Sitting in Drew's truck, looking out the passenger window, Amanda didn't know if she was happy Drew was taking her away for the weekend or if she was scared about what it would open the door to. The past month had been an emotional rollercoaster, from meeting Lucy, to moving in together, to trying to make sense of their new life. It definitely hadn't been as easy as she had imagined. She loved Drew more than ever before, though, and watching him build a relationship with Lucy was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever seen. If nothing, it made her love him more.
She adored Lucy like she was her own daughter, and watching her blossom into a happy little girl had been a privilege. But as the days went by, her time with Drew had become shorter and shorter until they barely saw each other. She felt like they were miles apart, yet they were under the same roof. It wasn't all on him, though. When things had gotten bad between them, she could have fought harder, but when she didn't see him fight at all, she couldn't convince herself to put the effort in.
The day the lawyer had dropped by to tell them Lucy's mom was giving up her parental rights, she'd hoped they would celebrate as a family, but they hadn't. Drew had gone to the ranch, and she had stayed home with Lucy, baking and painting their nails. She had no idea what had happened for him to start acting differently, but one day, they were barely speaking to each other and the next, he was up before the sun, making breakfast, dropping little notes in her purse and stopping by the diner for unannounced visits.
Then the night before, after three long weeks of having him sleep on the couch, he'd crawled into bed, and she hadn't been able to stay away from him. She had been craving intimacy for weeks and having him that close to her felt too good to push him away. When she woke up that morning, the last thing she had expected was for Drew to whisk her away for a romantic weekend. Once they were on the road, she didn't know what to feel. All she could think was what if they discovered they'd grown too much apart lately? What if he didn't love her as much as he used to? What would happen then?
The same headache she got every time she thought about where they were heading started at the base of her skull. Before she knew what was happening, Drew stopped the truck on the side of the road, unbuckled her seat belt, pushed his seat back as far as it could go and hauled her on top of him. "I can hear you thinking. It fucking kills me that you won't talk to me about what's making you this tense, but I get it. I lost the right to your thoughts when I started taking you for granted, but you have to know I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. I know I messed up, but I will make things right, because my life without you is not something I will ever accept again." When his hands caressed on her face, she tilted her head to the side, loving the connection of his skin on hers.
"I'm scared that this is the end for us, and I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you." Having finally let the words spill, she felt a weight lifted off her shoulders.
She avoided his eyes, but he wasn't having any of it. He used his fingers to tilt her head back until they were eye to eye. "That is never going to happen. Yeah, we're going through a rough patch right now, but this doesn't define who we are. This does." He closed the distance between them, and his hands slipped under her dress and squeezed her ass hard enough to bruise. She moaned into his kiss and he took her lower lip between his teeth, soothing the sting of the bite with his tongue. She was done for.
Her hands went to his hair, pulling and tugging, desperate to feel him, craving more. She kissed him like he was the air she needed to breathe, because in that moment, he was. When his hand travelled up to her breast and pull down the fabric down, she dropped her head back with his name on her lips. He used the hand on her ass to help her find the right rhythm when she started rocking back and forth against his erection. He pinched her nipple between his fingers as he sucked and licked the skin at the base of her neck, and her orgasm built hard and fast.
"Let me have it. Let me feel what I do to you." As he spoke, she rocked into him one more time and her orgasm took over her body, making her scream as the release claimed her.
When she felt like she could move again, she looked up at him, his face radiating with lust and need for her. That was all she needed to know they would be okay. She leaned in to his body, her face buried in his neck and he wrapped his hands around her, holding tight against his chest. She felt like she was home again.
"We're going to be okay, Amanda," he whispered in her ear, and she believed him with every fiber of her being.
"Yes, we are," she told him before kissing his neck. God, she had missed this connection with him. She loved Lucy but she missed her man, and she planned on making the most out of their little escape.
When they pulled up the driveway that led to a beautiful bed and breakfast, their sexual need created a heavy fog around them. Amanda barely registered any of what the woman at the check-in counter said; all she wanted was to get Drew alone and naked. She ached for him in a way she had never known possible. Drew must have felt her surge of need because he pulled her to his side, his hand squeezing hard on her hip as he checked them in.
When he handed the clerk a twenty dollar bill, she didn't know what he was doing, but the next thing she knew, he was lifting her off the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist and she moaned when she felt his hard length press against her stomach. He took the stairs two at a time, kissing her neck and driving her out of mind.
When they reached their room, he pushed her against the wall beside the door and unlocked it. She didn't even look around the room; all she could see was him. He shut the door closed with his foot and she kissed him hard. Her lips couldn't get enough of him, and she needed more. Her hands were pulling at his hair, her hips were rolling into his cock, and she wanted it.
"Fuck! So good," Drew murmured before diving in for another kiss hard enough to bruise her lips, but she didn't care. She untangled her hands from his hair and tugged at his shirt, desperate to touch him, to feel his skin.
"I need you." She barely recognized her voice as she spoke, heavy with need. He backed them to the bed, and he slowly lowered her onto her back.
When he started to remove his clothes, Amanda sat up and pulled her dress over her head, feeling intoxicated when she heard him groan. His eyes were on her as she lowered her panties down her legs, and when he shed his jeans and underwear off in one kick, she licked his chest.
"Amanda…," he begged her, for what she didn't know. She licked the outline of his abs, loving how he contracted under her tongue. When she reached his nipples and her teeth nipped one, he lost it. He pushed her on her back and spread her legs wide. He climbed into the bed with her, and when he kissed the inside of her thigh, her whole body shook with a desperate need.
"Drew, no teasing. I need you too much. It's been too long." He looked at her as she spoke, and she saw something break inside of him. He climbed up her body, kissing every inch of her, torturing her into a state of bliss.
He braced his arms on each side of her head. "This." Kiss. "Is." Kiss. "Everything." Kiss. With the last kiss, he entered her with one full thrust. She automatically wrapped her legs around his waist, her heels digging into his ass.
"Drew…." She kissed him, her fingers digging into his back and his ass as he filled her with long, hard thrusts, hitting her G-spot every time. He dropped his body onto hers and fucked her with fast and erratic movements, and she knew this was what they needed.
"I can't hold it. Tell me you're close." He lifted his head so she could see his face.
When he pinched her nipple, she came apart in his arms. She screamed out his name then writhed under him, and he was right there with her.
He swelled inside of her and when she kissed his shoulder, he came. "Fuckk…Amanda!" He buried his face in her shoulder as he came and she caressed his back, cherishing the feel of him on top of her.
When he pulled out, she instantly missed their connection and when he groaned, she knew he was feeling it, too. Drew dropped to his back beside her and pulled her to him. She rested her face on his chest and said, "We're going to be okay." And for the first time in weeks, she had no doubt they would. She fell asleep in his arms, and that was exactly how they spent the rest of the weekend—making love, eating and sleeping.
The weekend away had been exactly what they needed and as Drew loaded the truck with their luggage, he knew they would be just fine. Spending time away, just the two of them, wasn't a miracle pill that would fix everything, but as he kissed Amanda before she climbed into the truck, he knew that if they could get through this rough patch, they could get through anything.
"This was perfect. I missed you so damn much," she told him as he started the truck.
"I think we should do this more often. Find a time every month or two to just get away. Just me and you. I neglected us before, and I don't want to let it get that bad again." He grabbed her hand, running circles over the knuckles with his thumb.
"I'm all for that. We need to nourish us," she spoke, teasing him with the promise of more wild sex. God, they had so much sex this past weekend, he didn't know how he was even able to function. Following that first night in the bed, they'd had sex in the hot tub, in the shower, on the sofa, on the lounge chair on the balcony, against the wall. They had been insatiable. Not that he was complaining.
Forgive Me (Callaway Book 2) Page 18