Carl (Guardians In Love Book 4)

by Brianna West

  However, even though it had only been a few days, Niko appeared as though the life had been stripped from him. The vibrancy that he’d carried the day he’d taken me to the Underworld was no longer there and, even though his usual dress hadn’t changed, something about the way he carried himself had shifted from the aggression I attributed to his overall demeanor to something akin to solemnity and caution.

  The noticeable transformation gave me pause, but Aidan was as guarded as ever, his entire body rigid with alarm. The muscles in his back hardened as he fisted his hands, snarling low in his throat when Niko attempted a single step forward.

  “I’m not here to do anything,” Niko said, his deep voice pitching as his gaze found mine.

  Niko lifted his hands in a show of surrender, which had the opposite effect on Aidan. The were-bear Guardian twitched with irritation, his eyes narrowing violently and jaw gnashing loudly.

  I was less guarded because I’d seen Niko like this before. It may not be immediately apparent, but there was an apologetic note in his voice. Niko’s eyes had been instantly downcast when Aidan postured, and I’d noticed that even if he hadn’t verbally said so, Niko was expressing it in the defeat clear in the slouched stance that he’d adopted the moment he appeared in front of us. Whether consciously or otherwise, the submission towards Aidan was obvious.

  “I…just wanted to speak to Carl before I turned myself over to the angels.”

  Aidan’s torso stiffened, then he quickly glanced over his shoulder to where I stood. The other Guardian’s eyes portrayed his distrust, but I could see and hear the defeat in Niko. I might not be able to readily explain how I knew it to Aidan, but I trusted what I was seeing.

  I had gotten through to him.

  “I’ll speak on your behalf,” I offered, stepping forward.

  Niko peered over at Aidan, his gaze expressing his hesitation before he shook his head. “I must answer for my crimes against the Light. Andrea would want me to.”

  My throat constricted when I heard the despair in Niko’s voice at the mere mention of her. Aidan hadn’t relaxed his overly stressed posture, but it wasn’t as aggressive as it had been. The other Guardian didn’t say another word, and I was glad that even in spite of his obvious hesitation, Aidan had allowed me to decide how to deal with the situation at hand.

  It gave me the confidence I needed to face Niko as he was now, and not the man he’d once been. Because Niko would never return to that man I’d idolized. He’d committed acts of betrayal, and those he’d have to answer for. But there was a hope that one day he might regain control and be a better man for it. It was the very reason I wished to speak on his behalf.

  “Even so,” I started, stealing a look at Aidan shortly before fixing my gaze to Niko, “I’ll speak on your behalf.”

  Niko’s silver-blue eyes swam with emotion as he nodded curtly, jaw strained visibly. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m grateful for what you’ve done for me. I only hope that there will be some way to redeem myself to you and the Promiscus Guardians.”

  As soon as the words had left his lips, the omnipotent essence of an angel radiated through the room. Abruptly, the massive, well-dressed figure of Victor materialized beside Niko. His kind eyes were locked on the blonde ex-Guardian, who immediately startled at the sight of the angel.

  “With a heart like yours and a history that exceeds the transgressions laid out against you, there are many ways to redeem what you have done. Like Carl, I will speak on your behalf. But for now, the Chief of the Council, Simon, wishes that I bring you to where we might better understand the last twenty years,” Victor said, the gentle authority coming across as he looked over to where Aidan and I stood. “If there is anything you wish to say, now would be the time.”

  Niko nodded slowly, staring at me before smiling the way he used to. The relief in his eyes almost masked the despondent sadness that radiated from him like a second skin. The emotions he was clearly feeling touched every part of his expression, deepening the lines of his face and exposing the true depth of his shame. Words might never express how deep Niko’s self-hatred was felt, but his body had. It satisfied the questions left inside of me, knowing that he’d genuinely been drawn unwillingly into the darkness rather than seeking it out intentionally.

  “Thank you for everything, Carl. I only wished I’d come to you sooner. I don’t deserve it, but I do hope that one day you can find it in your heart to forgive what I’ve done.”

  Uncharacteristically emotional, I swallowed around the burning in my throat and nodded back. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still upset that he’d nearly killed my brother and lover, but hatred and grudges only hurt the people that held them. I knew the intimate reason he’d done it, and I couldn’t say for sure whether or not I wouldn’t have done the same twenty years ago, fresh out of training. While I couldn’t offer him the overall forgiveness he required, I could offer him what little I did have.

  “All is forgiven,” I declared softly, eyes burning as I fought to keep my face from showing the overwhelming emotion I was feeling.

  I needed to be strong.

  Victor’s kind, all-seeing eyes watched me, as if seeing into my very soul. I didn’t doubt that he could. It was apparent to anyone that knew me that I was struggling. And, as if knowing that those few words were all I could manage, the angel smiled beautifully and took hold of Niko’s arm before the two disappeared.

  The last image I’d have of Niko was the forlorn expression as tears broke free from his eyes and fled down his cheek. Even when Andrea had died, Niko hadn’t cried so openly. It was the first time I’d seen such a heartbreaking expression, and I didn’t know how to get the image out of my head as I stood there, frozen.

  I closed my eyes, inhaling sharply as grief swirled violently inside of me. A hand took hold of my shoulder before I was pulled into an exceedingly warm and comforting embrace. Aidan wrapped his arms around my back and held me while hot tears burned down my face and salted my cheeks.

  He lent me his strength, holding my head into his chest and letting his heartbeat soothe the raging heartbreak twisting and coiling my insides. I swallowed roughly, holding back the cry desperate to leave my throat and instead clung with all my might to Aidan. I was grateful for the strong arms that held me, seeking nothing but to console me. And when I pressed my face into his shoulder and finally let go, allowing myself to feel the true depth of my grief, Aidan held me without a word, his hand smoothing down my hair gently, tenderly.

  I’d mourned Niko’s loss before, but today I mourned a different kind of loss. Losing Niko to death hadn’t hurt quite as much as losing him to a vendetta that led him down a dark path. While he’d returned somehow, it didn’t negate what he’d done over the years. And for that reason, I mourned his loss. I silently hoped for his redemption, but it wasn’t my place to say whether or not it should be given.

  *

  The minute we walked inside the room where we were meant to meet the rest of the team, two men, who were equally as idiotic, lifted a long, handwritten greeting poster that simply read, ‘Glad you’re not dead!’ I didn’t even have time to smack my forehead with the pure idiocy before I was evading the massive arms of my twin, dodging to the left and following him with my eyes as he ran past me and straight into the wall.

  “Ohmygod,” a woman’s voice pitched before giggling, “That never gets old!”

  Her voice immediately drew my eyes over to the familiar, small stature of a woman who was all spunk and sarcasm. Her brown hair was tied up into a messy bun, her signature tank top and leggings highlighting her petite waist and pale, freckled complexion. Blue eyes haloed by yellow met mine before the sparkle of affection illuminated them with a vibrant glow. Her smile was contagious as I looked across at her, the exhausting heartbreak from earlier disappearing with her welcomed company.

  Izzy.

  My lips lifted tenderly, immediately drawing her to me with an outstretched palm. “Little lady, it’s been too long,” I g
reeted, giving the top of her hand an affectionate kiss.

  “My favorite!” she exclaimed happily, wrapping her arms around my torso as far as they’d go and hugging me tightly. I laughed, completely won over. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  The man beside her, who I’d once looked at with both love and reverence, came over while the blonde Guardian, Pavel, who was the other idiot I’d been dreading to see, held his stomach and laughed as though he might collapse to the ground with his amusement. His eyes were pinned to my brother’s half-collapsed form, slouched near the dent of his impact. I was pretty sure Bernie’s skull was made of stone for how easily it cratered solid walls.

  But I was entirely focused on the beauty before me; the man I’d once pined after. His severe, sapphire eyes and dark, chin-length hair were once the very reason my heart raced. But surprisingly, it only felt as though I greeted an old friend instead of an old love. My heart remained calm and, somehow, I’d lost all the ache that had terrorized it for years during the course of the last few weeks I’d known Aidan.

  “Lucas,” I greeted with a smile, Aidan’s gaze traveling from me to Lucas inquisitively. “I didn’t think I would see the two of you here.”

  Izzy’s sarcastic smile stole my heart as she took hold of my arm and peered up at me. “When we heard about what happened, there was no way we wouldn’t be here when you were safely home. You’re my favorite, obviously, so you bet your ass I came over the first chance I got.”

  She looked at Lucas, smirking devilishly. “He might not look it, but Lucas was seriously losing his shiz when he heard about it.”

  Curious, I regarded Lucas silently, who remained quiet but didn’t argue otherwise. Before, my heart would’ve soared with just that alone. But now, I found myself simply comforted by the thought. While I wasn’t exactly uninterested in his concern, it was on par with everyone else’s, and that was a considerable change on its very own.

  I offered Lucas a small, thankful grin. “I’m grateful for your concern.”

  Aidan’s expression, while its usual stoicism, hinted at his curiosity as he looked from Izzy to Lucas, seemingly piecing something together. Izzy looked over at the large man standing beside me, her own interest palpable. After a short, acknowledging nod, Lucas had wandered off to where Pavel was, smacking him as he retrieved the poster they had made for my return. The previous team leader sighed with exasperation, immensely tired as he tore through the poster and smacked Pavel again when the blonde Russian whined over the loss.

  “Who’s this?” Izzy asked, staring overtly at Aidan. “He’s…huge.”

  Pavel wandered over with Bernie in tow, his pale eyes and hair perfectly chaotic as he attempted to sling an arm around Izzy’s shoulders before she was shoving him off, making the large Russian snicker happily. “That’s what she said…”

  “Oh, dear Lord,” another woman’s voice chimed.

  Cecile Bellamy, one of the French siblings on the team, stood just beside Pavel, her green eyes glinting with disdain as her heavy accent cursed the man beside her.

  “Petite fleur,” she said, beautiful auburn hair cascading over bare shoulders as the plunging neckline of her dress shifted with her agitated stance, “This is one of the new Guardians joining our team.”

  The French woman’s intelligent eyes sparkled as they caught mine, because she was one of few that had figured out my secret. Knowing Cecile’s keen ability of perception and deduction, I was sure she’d already pieced together who Aidan was to me. However, she’d never outright say so. But the understanding was there, and her sweet smile expressed as much.

  Cecile’s lithe, perfectly curved form had once inspired me towards wishing I was attracted to women. The woman was formidable and deathly beautiful, so even I could appreciate how truly amazing she was. In the black, sheer lace dress she wore, I’d be astonished if Aidan wasn’t as inspired as I had been upon first greeting.

  I snuck a glance at the man beside me, curious with how he was adjusting to all the new Guardians. Aidan’s unmoving face was unreadable to most, but I could see the silent interest he held for all the new Guardians he was meeting. In time, he’d get to know them intimately. I was sure they would grow to love him as much as I had.

  Pavel’s pale eyes sparked when Aidan regarded him indifferently, his mischievous smirk alerting me to oncoming trouble. The massive Russian, who was the epitome of every woman’s bad boy wet dream, enjoyed causing just as much havoc as my idiot twin, and I knew that look too well to miss it at this point.

  “You seem rather attached to Carl,” the warlock-faerie Guardian remarked, lips still lifted. “About time you fessed up, don’t you think?”

  Bernie was close to saying something, but Nyla saved me as she clamped a hand over his mouth, appearing quite literally out of nowhere and hauling the man off with her unnatural strength. I inhaled a thankful breath, glad that I had her unyielding support in all Bernie related matters. My relief was short-lived, however.

  “He’s my bond mate,” Aidan announced abruptly, his unmoving stare fixed to Pavel, challenging the Russian to try anything.

  If I hadn’t been so mortified by my deepest, darkest secret being ousted out of nowhere, I would’ve enjoyed the outright shocked expression on Pavel’s face. The Guardian hadn’t seen it coming, and his playful smirk had been stolen right from his face with the sudden declaration.

  Aidan’s stature had grown aggressive, as though he felt like, for some odd reason, as though Pavel might try to attack him, and the other Guardians had picked up on the sudden hostility in Aidan’s strong, protective posture. Cecile’s eyes danced with excitement, her arms crossing over her partially exposed chest, while Pavel’s outward composure crumbled.

  Pale eyes widened, Pavel looked over at me for confirmation. He’d surely get it with one look, because even I couldn’t stop the flush that brightened my cheeks as Aidan slipped his arm around my shoulders and drew me proudly into his side.

  The were-bear Guardian’s face hadn’t given anything away. He was as stoic, no-nonsense as he’d been before, but I could see the pride alit in caramel eyes. Smell it in his strong musk as it swirled through the air, practically beaming off of him. I hadn’t thought Aidan would be the type to boldly claim someone, but the man was still surprising me every damn day.

  “Wait…” Pavel started as Izzy stared at me, her eyes expressing her shock. But when I offered her a furtive glance, she smiled brightly as though she couldn’t be happier for me.

  I breathed another grateful breath.

  “You’re the gay one?!” Pavel finally managed through his astonishment, the loud smack Lucas delivered resonating only seconds after the outburst. “Ouch! What?! I thought for sure, if anyone, it would’ve been Bernie.”

  “What we have is special!” Bernie declared to Pavel, grunting abruptly as Nyla delivered a hard, damaging elbow into his side.

  Aidan had listened to the exchange silently as I fought to keep my emotions from giving me away. I was absolutely mortified, and I didn’t know how I’d recover from the humiliation. It wasn’t how I saw our announcement going and, quite frankly, I was still attempting to digest the reality of everyone knowing I was gay. But none of the faces I regarded after the announcement had given me the feeling of rejection. None of them seemed anything but accepting and loving.

  Even with Pavel, though shocked, he didn’t appear to be against the idea. It was probably more surprising to him because of his ability to read minds. Of course, when I first met him, mine had been tightly guarded and so his ability would’ve never worked. Unlike with an angel’s telepathy, his was limited.

  But as if none of it bothered him, Aidan regarded the collection of Guardians. “Love is love. The gender has nothing to do with it, yeah?”

  “Oh my,” Bernie squealed as Pavel’s jaw dropped open, effectively beaten.

  Izzy was grinning beside Lucas, who had crossed his arms and glared silently at Pavel before offering me a curt nod of apology. I could tell that Luca
s was aware of my affections well before I’d been ousted. I hadn’t been cognizant of his noticing it in all this time because I was so worried about keeping what I felt for him tucked away, but I guess it had been naïve to think that Lucas would never pick up on it. Being one of the best Guardians we had to offer, it would be odd if he hadn’t by now anyway.

  I hadn’t found the courage to speak, but Aidan went on regardless, his hold on me somehow relieving the stress his proclamation had created. “I look forward to getting to know all of you, and with the exception of those two bloody twits, I think we’ll get on just fine.”

  Pavel and Bernie received a quick, pointed stare from Aidan, causing the rest of us to laugh when Bernie and Pavel looked at each other, still not fully understanding what the were-bear Guardian had meant.

  Cecile’s affectionate smile settled my heart when I finally looked over at the French beauty, her subtle wink the final blow before she strode off and took Izzy with a swoop of her arm. Lucas’ eyes followed the two retreating ladies, the clear desire to follow in his stare. Yet, my heart remained calmly beating in spite of seeing the source of my previous heartbreak head-over-heels. Not that the sight was unfamiliar anymore. Lucas had been besotted the day Izzy had come into his life.

  Looking over at Aidan, I caught the man staring at me. “Just couldn’t help but announce it the minute we got here?” I questioned reprovingly.

  Aidan’s lips twitched, his face softening. “No sense in it. I bloody love you and I want everyone to know it, yeah?”

  Bernie took hold of Pavel, squealing girlishly with dramatics that would rival any main female in a daytime soap opera. He hiccupped and pretended to cry into Pavel’s shoulder as the blonde Russian rolled his eyes with a smirk.

  “They’re giving me a toothache! I feel like the father of the bride! My love-allergic brother has found someone…oh, happy day!”

  “I think that’s quite enough out of you, you unbelievable idiot.” Nyla had taken Bernie by the ear, instantly defeating the large man with a single tug.