by Xavier Neal
Dean mumbles, “Mouth.” With a short chortle he looks up. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“You’re gonna drag your ass out of bed to go?”
“Damn right.” He nods before exiting the room, shutting the door behind him.
Once he’s gone, I flop down on the edge of the bed and bury my face in my hands.
I’ve never been so fucking conflicted in my life. This is worse than wondering whether going after Maxx was the right thing or not. This choice I have to make is between having my career, something, for the fucking record, that I didn’t plan on ever leading me out of TKO. And having the one person I need in my entire life that I didn’t plan on ever having the way I have her now. If I pass this up, I could always go back to TKO and keep fighting, working at the gym. Will was talking about starting an after school program. If I stay, I can spend evenings with the Kid, watching his basketball games and having dinner with the family. But if I go, I’ll be on the road moving. I’ll be trained by some of the best. I can make a name for myself and maybe shed this shame shadow that follows me around. Prove to that old man I was worth keeping alive. Prove to my mom that her risking her life for me while I was growing up wasn’t for nothing. I can make money. Maybe actually have a future. But only one of those paths has Maxx. My Maxx. What the fuck am I supposed to do? I need help right now. I need someone to tell me what to do. Tell me what to do. If you were me right now, what would you do?
Chapter 15
Maxx
“Closing time,” C.J. sings wiping down the bar. “One last call for alcohol so—”
“Stop singing,” Erin snaps. “Sounds awful.”
Tony types on his computer without looking up. “Actually, he has a really nice voice.”
“Professor Google. Shh.” She gives him a stern look.
“I agree with the Professor.” I let out a yawn, flopping down on one of the barstools.
“Thank you both.” C.J. cockily leans across the bar staring at Erin. “And I’ll sing to you all night long if you let me.”
I expect Erin to roll her eyes, but she doesn’t. She seductively leans over the bar so he can see down her dress. And when he takes the opportunity she pops him on the arm with the ruler.
“Ouch!”
“Can’t take the pain, baby?” she teases.
“I’ll take whatever I have to in order to be with you.”
That remark causes Erin to huff and turn around to me. “Can we go now? The place is closed. And it’s almost 3:30.”
“I’ve gotta wrap up a few more things.” I glance over Tony’s shoulder and have him delete something from the website changes he’s making.
“Can’t it wait?” She whines. “I’m so tired…”
“You’re tired? I’ve gotta wrap this up. I’ve gotta place an order for the next four Fight Nights, approve some photos and last minute changes to next week’s specials, confirm with Frank his changes in vendors, and take Logan to the airport in four hours.” Erin’s face contorts but I’m not sure if it’s because of the fact that I snapped at her or because I have to take Logan to the airport.
“I’ll take her home,” Tony volunteers. “No biggie. I have to be here with her anyway to finish, so go, Erin.”
She attempts to say something but hesitates. With a nod she leans over and places a kiss on my cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning when you get back.”
I try to smile and put the thought of the inevitable out of my brain.
“I’ll walk you to your car.” C.J. says grabbing his keys.
“Thanks,” Erin answers breathlessly.
Let that be a sign that the end is near. She didn’t put up any kind of fight. You scared? You should be.
The two of them disappear, leaving Tony and me at the bar behind his computer to finish up. As the time drags on, Frank sneaks in once to make approvals, once to deliver our checks, and once to let out the two girls he was playing with in his office.
Saddest part about that? They looked young enough to be his daughters. The things some girls do for free admission.
Finally finished up almost an hour later, Tony starts his car, while I settle my gym bag at my feet. On a long yawn I close my eyes and hear the sound of a clock ticking in my ear.
Do you hear that too? Is it real? Am I imagining it?
“Wanna talk about it?” Tony offers.
“Bout how my feet could howl to the moon if it wasn’t on its way out?”
He laughs lightly before he says, “I’ll take that as a no.”
“Take it how you want.” Realizing how bitchy that sounded I apologize, “Sorry, Tony. You didn’t deserve that.”
“It’s cool,” he sighs. “I can’t blame you for being on edge with Kellar leaving. But you know he’ll be back.”
“I know…”
“And you know he’ll be faithful.”
That I don’t know. Relationships are beyond new to him and being faithful from a distance just might be the thing to break him.
“But it feels like there is something else is going on, Maxx. Is there?” I glance his direction before looking back out the window. I shake my head. “Okay. I’ll trust you. I also trust that if you need me you’ll say something.”
Not saying another word I nod and shut my eyes again.
Ever get to one of those points in your life when everything is perfect then, like God had some ax to grind with you, it’s all taken away in one swift pull? Why me? Why is it that every time my life gives me exactly what I want I have to pay it back in blood?
“Thanks for the ride,” I say, opening the door. “Try to get some rest.”
“You too. Don’t hesitate to text if you need anything, Maxaroo.”
“Okay,” I answer, shut his door, and swing my gym bag over my shoulder.
I quickly unlock the front door and hustle up the stairs as quietly as I can. Opening our bedroom door there’s no surprise when I see Logan sprawled out in the middle of the mattress, his arms behind his head, and the sheets barely covering his lower half.
Jesus, even as depressed as I am about this situation I’m still drooling over the fact that he looks like something that should be on a screensaver.
I drop my bag softly, slip out of my clothes, and crawl into bed doing my best not to disturb him, while making sure to admire the view.
Geez, his abs have abs for crying out loud!
On a short chortle, Logan says, “Are you just gonna stare at me or actually touch me?”
I smile when I say, “Hadn’t decided yet.”
Logan rolls over, taking me with him, so his body is hovering over mine. “I’ll decide then.”
His warm lips press firmly against mine, causing me to wilt into the bed. After our tongues briefly greet each other like they are long lost college buddies, I tilt mine away and ask, “You sure you wouldn’t rather finish sleeping?”
“Maximus,” he states, one hand now caressing my boob. I bite my bottom lip to stifle a moan. “The only thing I want right now is to show you much I’m gonna miss you.”
His words make my throat constrict.
I cannot be one of those girls that cries during sex.
“And these.” His hand massages the other one before lowering his mouth to my nipple to give it a tug between his teeth. On my moan he switches sides, rolling his tongue around before giving another bite that causes my hips to arch up. His lips slide off and he asks, “Gonna miss me, Maxx?”
Taking a page out of Erin’s playbook I say, “Maybe.”
“Maybe?” he questions, with a small bite close to my hips. The nibble is followed by me leaking out the whimper I was trying to hold back. “No maybes in my bed.” Logan’s tongue travels down my thighs leaving a trail of heat so intense that I feel, shy of dipping me in the ocean, there would be no way to cool me down. His path of sexual torment settles on my inner thigh, inching closer and closer to my pussy before switching to the other side. He never touches me where I want it most. In fact, he lets his warm b
reath linger right over my clit each time he switches sides.
Tease.
“Please, Logan,” I beg, my hips rocking up towards his face.
“You want something, baby?” The question is formed right over my pussy, the muscles so tight they could probably snap his tongue in two.
“Fuck. Please, Logan…please taste me.”
“Here?” he asks licking my inner thigh.
Asshole.
“Or here?” he licks the other side. Finally, just the tip of his tongue touches my clit. “Maybe here?” I squeal in frustration, and I can just imagine the arrogant grin on his face.
“No maybe.” My mouth betrays me before my brain can be clever. “No maybes, Logan. I’m gonna miss you. I’m gonna miss you so—”
His mouth latches onto my pussy and the first explosion of the night occurs. The immediate contact of his tongue lurches me into an abyss of pleasure that has me grasping the sheets to catch my breath. Continuing to lick and suck me like some long lost lollipop that gets better with every bite, Logan’s efforts are relentless as he grips my hips hard.
God I hope he bruises them.
A few short teasing strokes later I am back on the brink and ready to let go again when his mouth drags itself off of me. Like a pouty toddler at a birthday party I whine, “Why’d you stop?”
Wiping his wet face with his hand he chuckles his answer, “Oh. Did you want me to finish?”
Before I can smart off, his cock invades my tight muscles and I’m shooting off the bed on a moan that I’m sure could’ve woken up the entire house. My legs tremble from the orgasm that just ignited as they struggle to wrap around him.
At that moment, he leans over in my ear and says, “That’s why.”
Groaning, I fall backwards and enjoy the slow movements he’s delivering. His cock sliding back and forth feels like he’s feeding my body hits of ecstasy each time he moves. With my eyes closed I get lost in the wave of pure pleasure that has taken over my entire existence. Logan’s lips enjoy my exposed neck, tumbling around it with sucks and bites, each one causing me to whine in acceptance of the feelings. The thrusts don’t ever slow down. They don’t ever stagger. They don’t even change. He keeps a steady, slow tantalizing rock, the rhythm putting me into some sort of blissful coma I don’t ever wanna come out of. It continues for what feels like hours. The entire time, his movements are accompanied by my moans, his groans, my nails digging into his flesh, and his teeth leaving marks on mine. Suddenly I feel the familiar scratching of an orgasm pumping through my veins and Logan’s body stiffens above me like he’s going to meet mine.
My eyes open as his forehead leans against mine. On a hopeless sounding plea he says, “Come for me, Maxx. Let go.”
And I do, the euphoria of an orgasm shattering me apart, taking away the nightmare of him leaving, the fear of the future, and the insecurities I bury along with it. On the same long cry from me, Logan lets himself go as well, bursting inside me like his hopes and dreams have all anchored themselves in there.
That was not fucking. That wasn’t even sex. That was a goodbye…wasn’t it?
Chapter 16
Maxx
The drive to the airport is more talkative than I’d expected. Between Dean’s questions about just how famous Logan is gonna get and Logan’s own excitement at possibly being a celebrity, I’m able to focus on the one thing I can’t allow myself to do until I am home alone in bed.
Yup. You guessed it. Cry.
“Hey, Mo— er…Maxx” Dean’s voice croaks in my ear. It sounds like it might be about to go through another change.
“Hm?”
“Can I get my driver’s license at 16?”
I cut Logan a glance and he says, “No fucking way.”
“Mouth.” I weakly scold.
“What do you mean no way?” Dean sounds almost hurt. “It’s legal in Texas.”
“What do you need to drive for, huh? What are you gonna drive? Do you have a car?” Logan’s fatherly tone surprises me.
“I’ll drive Maxx’s car. She hates to drive anyway.”
It’s true.
“It might be kind of nice driving myself to school and practice. A little independence.” Dean tries to sound responsible.
“Right, and a parent free zone to feel up that little cheerleader we caught you with a few weeks ago?” Logan concludes.
Immediately Dean leans forward. “How’d you know she was a cheerleader?”
“Because like father, like son,” I mumble.
Logan chuckles, but doesn’t deny it. “I’ll make you a deal, Kid. You keep putting in hours helping Will out around the gym and we’ll talk about getting your license.”
“Deal.”
Quickly I add, “But you gotta keep you grades up too.”
“I will.” he says as we pull up to the unloading zone of the airport.
Putting the car in park, the three of us get out, and watch Logan wheel his suitcase to Dean.
Dean gives him a short embrace but a long look before saying, “Be safe.”
Logan points to me. “Take care of my girl.”
He nods in return, shoves his hands in his jean pockets, and looks down.
“Maximus,” he says softly.
Don’t cry, Maxx. Do not cry.
You better have my tissues ready and an entire package of cupcakes. Chocolate.
Logan’s hand touches my cheek, his thumb feathering across it. “I’m gonna miss you.”
“Me too.”
Tilting his lips to my ear he says, “All of you.” A short stroke of my earlobe with his tongue makes my knees weak. He smiles proudly and kisses me tenderly, our tongues torn apart damn near the moment they greet.
Logan gives me one long, strong hug and then backs away. “I’ll call you when I land.” I nod and before completely turning away, he says, “I love you, Maximus.”
On a sob that gets caught in my throat I say, “I love you too…”
Dean wraps an arm around me, shoving my tears that were on the brink right over the edge.
Well at least I waited until he was gone.
I wipe away the fallen drops and insist we head out. On the ride home we don’t say anything at all. Dean fiddles with the radio, and it takes all the concentration I have to focus on the task of driving.
Once we’re safely home, the two of us stroll through the front door where Erin is sitting with a glass of orange juice across from her brother who has his cup of coffee in hand.
Same way it’s always been, but now…one less. Remember that commercial…I wanna be one less, one less? Well I don’t. I wanna be all. Here. Together.
“Is that breakfast?” Dean sniffs the air and the smell of bacon causes my stomach to clench.
Now’s really not the time to think of food. Crying and having bacon flavored snot just doesn’t sound like a good combo to me. You either?
“Help yourself, nephew.” She waves her hand as Dean charges in for a plate. Looking at me she merely offers a sympathetic smile at first. “Want me to make you a plate?”
I shake my head and take my seat.
“Chocolate milk?”
“Nothing. Thanks.” I push a strand of hair behind my ear. Dean plops down across from me.
“You gonna be okay?” Erin cautiously asks.
I shrug and flop my face into my hands.
“What did he say when you told him?” Luke places his coffee mug down on the table.
Suddenly my tongue feels like it’s swollen as it sticks to the roof of my mouth.
“Told him what?” Erin questions.
Luke shoots his sister a look but doesn’t answer. Sternly, he asks, “You did tell him right, Maxx?”
Without a word I fold my hands and press my lips against them.
“You didn’t tell him.”
Shutting my eyes tightly I shake my head.
“Tell him what?” Erin demands to know the answer.
“That she’s pregnant.” Luke’s response is foll
owed by two very sharp gasps at the table.
Or is it three if I include you? Yes I am. And no I didn’t tell him. You know as much as I do that he wanted to make it big. That he wanted to walk out that door more than he wanted to stay with me. And if I would’ve told him, I would’ve had to live with knowing that he’d only stayed because I’d gotten knocked up. Because I was a burden in his head. Oh God. I’m knocked up…what the hell am I supposed to do now?
Thank You!
I just wanna take a quick minute to thank those who keep making this journey with me.
Crazy Lady- I expect a phone call at the end of this one, just try to remember that there’s one more okay?
Her Husband- I know you only get more proud.
The Law Student- Support all the way from your state to mine is felt.
The Lumberjack- Can you believe I made it this far?
Katniss- I am requesting that when you change couches, the new couch has a comfy writing corner.
Partner in Crime- I know, I know, Vegas...I’ll think about it. Lol. There. Now it’s forever in writing.
Male Model- We are in for a long ride. Here’s to many more laughs.
Mrs. H- It’s been quite a journey and I’m just as glad to have you on it as Maxx and Logan are too.
The Doc- Not time to look for my replacement yet. Though I like your confidence in me! Lol
The Army- Boss Lady, Swagmasta, Genie, Bama, Bel, separate we are pretty amazing, together I think we kick serious ass! Thanks for having my back and I’ll keep having yours.
Leambra Rodgers: Thank you letting Jawbreaker get in the ring with Kellar.
My When I Grow Up Team- Selena, Tess, Kristine, Jaime (and even Harper S) You are still the ladies I look up to and dream about being like. I hope my career grows and flourishes like yours.
Bloggers- There are toooooo many of you to name specifically without forgetting one, you know I’ve got writer brain, so please know that when I say this to you I mean it. YOU ROCK! For every teaser you’ve shared. Every blurb. Every cover reveal. Every review. Hell, just taking the time to answer me back is a miraculous thing. You help my career grow and I thank you for that.