“His wedding gift? Besides this wedding, we’re giving you the traditional gift from
the bride’s parents, the silverware.”
“My fault, Erminia. It slipped my mind. I meant to tell you. I’m giving them money to start their business instead of buying them a house.”
“How generous, Otis,” says Weasel in a flat voice.
His phone rings. “Excuse me.”
I hold my breath, hoping he doesn’t go in the same direction as Faro. My eyes twitches and I can’t seem to get my foot to stop tapping the floor.
He goes into the dining room.
I breathe a sigh until I see Fairy Godmonster glide across the ceiling on silent skates. She winks and flicks her red tail before disappearing into the living room. I gag on a mouthful of oatmeal. Cough until I’m red and shake so much that David pats me on the back.
“Relax, Win. Take a deep breath,” he says.
I gasp for air and wonder who is going to spot Fairy Godmonster first. My brain swims in dizziness.
Weasel pushes away from the table. “I would like to schedule …”
David and John jump up.
“We’ll be with the horses, if you need us,” says David.
Claire rises. “I’ll see if the limousine is here.”
“I want to go!” whines Daria. “Please, Mommy.”
“Oh, all right. Behave yourself.”
Daria runs after her sister. “Wait, Claire!”
The kitchen is silent and I’m left alone with Weasel. I practically swallow the rest of my breakfast whole. I stumble up and head for the back door, barely able to walk.
Weasel’s eyes tighten to slits. “Just a minute.” Her voice is sickeningly sweet. I cringe. “Daria told me you are playing tricks and trying to scare her.”
“She was sneaking up on me.”
“You will leave my little girl alone. If there are anymore incidents, your father will hear about this.”
“What are you going to do, lock me in the attic?”
The air cracks with tension.
“Don’t ever talk back to me again.”
Her voice is like acid burning into my soul. I don’t dare look at her or I might die on the spot.
I escape out the kitchen door saying, “I’ll be with the horses all morning.”
She follows me. “Charles took the cell phone and gave me the number. He is only a call away.”
With that threat, I escape out the door. Why can’t Fairy Godmother turn Weasel into a toad instead of letting her drive me crazy?
David is showing John how to snap the last horse to the hot walker when I make it to the exercise arena.
John says, “Wow, this is some contraption.”
The walker looks like a flat umbrella without the covering. The spokes stick up from a five-foot base. The horses, hooked to four, spaced arms, can walk at variable speeds from a belt drive. The direction can be changed to exercise each side of the horse.
David pulls a buzzing cell phone from a pocket.
“Hello? Yes it is. What?” He looks at his watch. “I’ll be there in about three hours.”
“What’s the matter?” John asks.
“There’s trouble with the shipment of benches. The train derailed and they won’t make it in time for the wedding. I have to go to Salem to find more.”
“When?” I ask.
“Now.” I don’t know when I’ll be able to come back.”
“What about the horses?”
“You’ll have to show John how to do it. I’ll tell Claire. Be good.” He kisses my cheek and is gone.
My heart sinks. I’m stranded with strangers.
John smiles. “I bet you’ll be glad when the wedding is over.”
“Yeah.” I can’t tell him I wish it wasn’t even happening. Now, I’m saddled with everything. John is nice, but I’m not going to ask him to help me with the housework.
“I’m going to ride a mare, John. Can you watch the horses on the hot walker?”
“I’m a city boy. What happens if they act up while you’re gone?”
“There shouldn’t be any trouble. Turn off the hot walker if there is. I’ll be back in a half-hour to help you switch them out.”
“Will do.”
“Thanks.”
I take Sunshine from her stall. She moves reluctantly. I bridle her, but don’t put on her saddle. She likes to puff out her pregnant belly and the saddle slips when she relaxes. Guess I wouldn’t want anything around me if I had to carry a baby for eleven months.
Leading her to a mounting block outside, I glide onto her back. She’s a palomino, dark gold. The sun makes her corn-silk mane look silver. We walk down one dirt path to the forest. Her muscles move rhythmically under her golden body. We turn a corner and I look back at the house.
Fairy Godmonster is standing on top of the roof. Her hot pink dress flows with the breeze. It covers every inch of her body and she still looks sexy. I frantically signal her to get down before anybody sees her.
She waves back at me.
I make a ‘cutting-throat’ motion and she sits down.
My horse picks up my nervousness and crow-hops. I force myself to be calm and a few minutes later, I cut the walk short because Sunshine decides she’s had enough exercise and turns for home. Normally, I wouldn’t let a horse get away with this kind of behavior, but I have a lot more to do before lunch and I give her some leeway because she’s pregnant.
The rest of the morning goes smoothly. I show John how to switch the horses on the hot walker and how to groom them. Then I exercise the others. I miss lunch.
I’m ravenous when I enter the kitchen and grab a banana. Everyone’s gone, but I hear loud voices coming out of Dad’s bedroom.
“You might have told me about Claire staying in Oregon.” Weasel’s voice slithers out through the open door.
I move closer to eavesdrop.
“I am sorry. It wouldn’t have made it any easier on you. All mothers have to give up their children someday.” Mr. Dudley’s voice is soothing. I wonder how he ever
married a woman like Weasel.
“You could have made the money conditional on them staying in Boston.”
“Erminia, a gift is unconditional.”
“You know why I don’t want Claire in Oregon.”
“It’s a big state. You’ve kept her birth mother a secret so far.”
“Ssh!” Someone might hear. I don’t want anyone to know about Melinda.”
Whoa! They know who Claire’s real Mom is? I back away from the door as fast as I can. I don’t want to be caught here.
Footsteps sound like they’re coming right at me. I slip into my brother’s bedroom next door and bump into Fairy Godmonster. I grab my mouth to keep from screaming and almost pee my pants.
“What are you doing in here?” I whisper.
“You’re back.” She licks her fingers. “Claire’s perfume is yummy.”
“Ssh. Weasel is next door. What if someone hears you? Or worse, sees you?”
“There are only two people in the house. A cinch to avoid them. You have some interesting food in your refrigerator.”
“You’ve been in the kitchen? Please, you have to go back upstairs.”
“Oh, all right. I’ll just borrow a few of these bridal magazines. Life around here is boring.”
I peek out the door to see if we can get away without being seen. I hear mumbling behind Dad’s now-closed door. “Come on.”
Fairy Godmonster strolls out of the room and leaps gracefully up the stairs. I’ll never have legs like hers.
“Come and tell me about your morning. Lapilla isn’t good at conversation. He only wants the food in my refrigerator.”
“I don’t have time. This is what I have to do before the wedding, besides taking care of the horses,” I say.
I snatch the lists out of my jeans and shove them into her hands. “And now David is gone and I don’t know when he’ll be back.”
She reads the lists
quickly. “I’ll see if my whip works.”
A spark of hope flitters into my chest. I need some magic. I unlock the attic door.
Lapilla brushes past me.
“Come back!” I yell, running after him.
He lopes down the hall just as the cat strolls out of the bedroom.
HSSTTT! Godzilla arches her back, twenty pounds of spitting black fur.
Lapilla stops for a second. Growls and leaps.
“No!” I scream.
Fairy Godmonster does a triple, triple. Tackles Lapilla midair. They crash to the floor.
The cat zips down the stairs.
Lapilla starts to roll over with Fairy Godmonster on his back. She punches him in the face and he collapses.
I can’t stop shaking.
“Winifred, are you all right?” calls Mr. Dudley from downstairs.
“Hide,” I whisper.
Fairy Godmonster hauls Lapilla to the attic by the scruff of his neck.
“Winifred?” I hear Mr. Dudley footsteps on the stairs.
I shake all the way to the stairs and peer down. “I’m fine, Mr. Dudley. You don’t need to come up. The bedroom door was open and Daria’s cat got out.”
“She’s supposed to be locked in,” grumbles Mr. Dudley, heading back down.
I return to the attic, heart pounding. My head aches.
Lapilla is lying on my bed, unconscious. Fairy Godmonster is polishing her claws.
I stare in disbelief. “How can you do that? We almost had a catastrophe!”
“Chill. Everything is under control. Ooohh. I wrecked the polish on this claw.”
“Are you taking this job seriously? You don’t act like a Fairy Godmother.”
She glares at me. “I’m a Fairy Godmonster. There’s a big difference.”
“Mr. Dudley could have seen both of you.”
“He didn’t. People only see what they expect to.”
I lean against the wall, drained.
“Get rid of him,” I say, pointing to Lapilla.
She picks her whip up from the bed. I move out of the way as she swirls it around her head. CRACK. The end fizzles.
“Oh, pooh.” She shakes it. It hangs there like a limp noodle.
Hope gone, my temper gets the better of me. “What good are you?”
Her yellow eyes turn black. “At least, you are not up here all alone.”
“You’re right about that. I have two monsters for company.”
Her eyes flare orange. “I thought we talked about your sarcasm. Would your mother have allowed this kind of behavior?”
“She’s dead. I never knew her.”
Her eyes soften to pale yellow. “I’m sorry. Tell me about her.”
“She was beautiful. Dad and David won’t tell me anything. The only things I have of hers are in this room.” I look around. “Well, in your NTMT.”
“Those beautiful trunks are hers? I bet we can find out about her.”
“No!” I panic thinking about Mom’s things.
“What are you afraid of?” asks Fairy Godmonster.
“Those are private and I want you to stay out of them.”
She stares at me with concern in her eyes. “Until FIMM is fixed, how can I help
you?”
“Do you plan to do my chores while everyone is asleep?” I ask.
“The thought hadn’t occurred to me.”
“I didn’t think so. You cause more problems. And I have enough. On top of everything, Daria will never try to stop finding a way to get in here.”
Frustrated, I start to run out of the room.
“Where are you going?” she asks.
“I have work to do.” I run downstairs.
Weasel is on the telephone in the living room, so I start dusting and do the kitchen and the dining room. When Weasel is gone, I start working on the living room. On my hands and knees, I get the dust bunnies under the couch that I know the vacuum won’t reach.
HISSTTT! MEOWRRR!
I look up. Godzilla is perched on the top of the couch peering down at me. She makes a horrible retching sound and throws up on my head.
Gross! I grab the stuff so it doesn’t drip into my eyes. Yuck! I almost throw up from the smell. I hurry upstairs to shampoo my hair, rush into the bathroom and trip on a box of cat litter that wasn’t there this morning. Wet clumps and poop spray across the floor. Along with the cat vomit. I wildly grab the counter to avoid slipping into the mess when a bloodcurdling scream streaks through the house.
Chapter 16: Caution - Tread Softly
I’m shaking so much, I can hardly wash my stinky hands. I stumble out of the bathroom. Running downstairs, I pray Fairy Godmonster is still in the attic.
Hysterical screams come from the kitchen. Breathing hard, I stop in the doorway. Weasel jumps up and down on the table, shrieking in horror and waving her hands around her head.
She looks so funny, I laugh. The wrong thing to do.
She screams, “YOU DID THIS!”
“Did what?”
“You wretched girl. Kill them!” She points down. “On the floor!”
Several mice scatter across the floor. I snicker. “It’s only a few little mice.”
Godzilla jumps out from under the table and slides across the floor after one. Her paw snags a tail. The mouse disappears in a little flash of light.
Did I see right?
The cat crashes into the cupboard, regains her footing and streaks around the floor after the others.
Weasel screams again.
As soon as Godzilla touches them, the mice disappear. The cat meows and twists around in confusion. Right on, Fairy Godmonster.
Mr. Dudley rushes into the room and the cat zooms away.
“What in heaven’s name is the matter?” he booms.
“She put mice in the refrigerator!” Weasel points to me. “She’s a vindictive, spoiled brat.”
I stare at Weasel in shock. “I didn’t.”
“Of course you didn’t,” says Mr. Dudley. “Never been in a farmhouse that didn’t have an occasional mouse.”
“They flew out of the refrigerator,” she screeches, “and landed in my hair!” She shivers in revulsion.
Mr. Dudley frowns, “Maybe you need to lie down, Erminia. You’ve been working too hard.”
“I know a flying mouse when I see one!” she screams at him.
I laugh.
“She did it, I tell you. Mice don’t get in refrigerators.”
“Unless you leave the door open too long,” I add, giggling.
Mr. Dudley chuckles. “You do look pretty funny on the table, dear. Let me help you down.” He reaches for her.
She pushes his hands away and glares at him. “I know what I saw. I will not move from this spot until you dispose of them.”
Mr. Dudley looks at me. “You have any traps?”
“I’ll get them.” I try not to smile. How do you trap invisible mice?
Mr. Dudley is holding Weasel’s hand when I return from the pantry. She’s still on the table.
“Where do you want me to set them? As long as your cat is wandering around the house, she could get hurt.”
“Nonsense,” screeches the Weasel. “I told Daria to keep her locked in.”
“Well, she just vomited on me and I was in the living room.”
Mr. Dudley looks at me. “I wondered what smelled.”
I reach up toward my hair. Stop before I touch it. Give me horse poop any day.
Weasel sniffs, “Daria is the only one who can touch Gazella. We’ll have to wait until she comes home.”
The telephone rings. I grab it.
“Hello?
“Winifred!”
“Hi, Dad!” It feels good to hear his voice. I move into the living room. “Where are you?”
“Ogden, Utah. Scott’s really been a big help with the driving.”
A pang of regret twists in my heart, but I’m so happy to talk with Dad, I ignore it.
“How is everything?” he a
sks.
“I miss you.”
“Are you working out the schedule with Mrs. Dudley?”
“No. She planned it herself. I’m doing all the work.”
“Quit teasing, Win. David, Claire and John are there to help.”
“I’m not teasing, Dad. David left for Salem. Claire went shopping with Daria hours ago. At least, John helped with the horses.”
I hear a roll of thunder through the phone.
“I’m sure it will all work out,” says my optimistic father. “They can’t be gone forever. Last minute emergencies are to be expected. I really need to get back on the road. We’re heading into a storm. I’ll call tomorrow. Love you. Bye.”
“I love you, too. Bye, Dad.” I hang up and stare at the phone.
Mr. Dudley carries Mrs. Dudley through the hall. “I didn’t see any mice, dear. You need to lie down.”
“I will not cook in that kitchen until you prove to me that all the mice are dead.”
Good luck, I think, smiling to myself.
Mr. Dudley says, “As soon as Claire and Daria return, we’ll go out to dinner and set the traps.” He carries Weasel into my Dad’s room, their bedroom for now.
I hurry upstairs and shampoo my hair. After I clean the cat litter and vomit off the floor, I trudge into the attic.
The jungle is gone. Instead, the room is filled with wedding stuff. Gowns and veils hang in racks all over the room. Counters are filled with silk flowers, jewelry, ring pillows and cake decorations.
Fairy Godmonster stands in the middle of the room in a wedding gown. She lifts the veil. A tiara of pearls gleams in her orange hair. Her eyes shine. She glides toward me on five-inch spiked heels. I sigh. I’m lucky not to trip on my feet in regular shoes.
“Isn’t it gorgeous!”
My bed is gone again, so I collapse in a fancy chair. “Where did you get this stuff?”
“From the wedding magazines, of course. I had this idea to put the whip into my NTMT chip. When it came out, it started working.”
“Great.” Now maybe I can get some help.
She preens in the mirror.
“Thanks for the mice,” I say.
Her red X-ray eyes gleam mischief. “That woman was hysterical. Thought I’d bust a seam.”
“What kind of mice were they?” I ask.
“Clonetronic electromagnets.”
My Fairy Godmonster Page 8