The Little Buddhist Monk

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The Little Buddhist Monk Page 7

by Nick Caistor


  The programme involved an incredible novelty, the result of recent advances in design and animation technology. The happy combination of a team of doctors, artists and computer whizz-kids had succeeded in creating a model of the female sexual organs. For the first time in history, this had allowed the exact location of the clitoris to be identified. It was not that the existence of this tiny pleasure spot or its position had been unknown, but the man in the street, the average husband or lover, still had difficulties finding it. This was due to the confusion produced by verbal descriptions of it, a confusion never resolved by the drawings in books illustrating these descriptions. On the contrary: it was the drawings that had ended up making the difficulty impenetrable. The two-dimensional representations had all the well-known limitations, but these became insurmountable when it came to the complex ‘empty volumes’ of the external area of the female reproductive organ. It did not help that humans had evolved from standing on four legs to becoming bipeds, which meant these volumes were in a position that conventional drawings could not properly depict.

  The solid, three-dimensional models that pedagogical ingenuity had come up with, besides being hidden in university lecture theatres or anatomical museums, had been too small and hard to manipulate to fulfil their function… Until now, nobody had imagined that the ideal medium for bringing the Good News to the public was television. The 3-D animation, digitalised and driven by a specially developed programme, instantly resolved all the problems of comprehension. TV viewers could take a virtual stroll through this first interior, or ‘exterior interior’, with all its nooks and crannies, its superimposed concavities and convexities. By identifying with the eye of the camera, they could finally orient themselves and discover once and for all where this elusive little phantom was to be found. And the Korean people were to have the privilege of being the first to know.

  Conscious of the importance of sexual pleasure in life, the little Buddhist monk had waited impatiently for the transmission. The contemporary passion for television had finally found an object worthy of the eagerness with which a programme was anticipated. Recalling his own expectation was like being wounded by an arrow of time in the depths of the dark night, and made him even more anxious. There was no way he could miss it! To him it was a life-or-death affair, and he refused to consider whether he was behaving like a child. Wasn’t this on the contrary the most adult thing that had ever happened in his life? And there was no question of waiting for the repeat, because there wouldn’t be one. The producer had been through a lot just to get permission for this screening. The legal battle had lasted for months, and even now had not been finally resolved: the transmission was going ahead thanks to an injunction that could still be appealed against, as a defiant gesture of ‘now or never’. The next day, the Korean newspapers would be full of indignant readers’ letters from the usual reactionaries, and the scandal would put so much pressure on the judges that it would be banned forever. Besides, nobody would call for it to be repeated. Why would they, if they had already discovered what they were after? A predictable psychological reaction could come into play: those who already knew the secret (the path to the hidden object) would not want the others to discover it. It did not matter that tens of millions of viewers would have seen the programme; the unique quality of the occasion made the revelation invaluable. They would rub their hands gleefully, telling themselves ‘anyone who missed it has missed it forever’. They would be able to gloat at their superiority over these real or virtual losers. And the losers could well be real, as perfectly real as he himself would be if he did not arrive in time.

  Had he reached the centre of the forest? He had no way of knowing. All of a sudden he couldn’t recognise his surroundings, even if all along he couldn’t see a thing. The screen of trees was so thick it seemed almost solid; he groped his way along, rushing up and down on the uneven ground, squeezing his way between two trunks or falling headlong into a bush and kicking out desperately until he freed himself from the suffocating clutch of flowers that were as cold and silky as fish.

  Looking up, he could see the topmost foliage as black on black, being whipped around by a wind that did not reach the ground. Turning his head, he could make out the yellowish wake he himself had left behind. He was no longer looking where he put his feet, while at the same time he was paying ever more attention to it. He saw that the ground was rising and remembered, with a sigh of dismay, that there were mountains in the middle of the forest, and that he would have to cross them as well. Mountains that were part of the forest, hidden beneath the trees but still high enough to have ravines, rivers, snowy peaks and dangerous bridges suspended over abysses.

  He did not slow down. He would not have done so even if he had remembered there was also an ocean in his way. On the contrary, he tried to go faster, but had reached such an extreme of exhaustion that his legs no longer obeyed him. They were like rubber. The tears of despair coursing down his cheeks were no fuel for his flagging machine. But even in the depths of his paralysis he was still confident of arriving. Of course, the depths were not the surface, and here he was aware of the unassailable distance between the size of the forest and his own small stature. However often he multiplied his tiny footsteps, they were pathetic millimetres. If only he were not so weary…

  In one final spasm of hope, he told himself that the subjective component of time might be deceiving him. There were occasions when mental tension, or simple impatience, made what was in fact a minute seem like an hour. Unfortunately this was not the case now. What he was seeing was the evolution of species, and that took more than a minute.

  This was not a metaphor: he was really seeing. The faint glow he left in his wake had spread all around him, and the darkness yielded to the dim outlines of a gothic, overloaded nature, which from his point of view looked monumental. The trees were monsters draped in moss and creepers, the flowers opened and closed, nocturnal wasps the size of doves climbed the spiralling shadows; rabbits bigger than he was peeped out of their holes to look at him. His panting sounded fearful in the hooting of owls. His progress became increasingly difficult on the slippery wetness of the soft slopes. And yet he carried on, his chest crushed by the weight of anguish, and in his desire to reach home in time he no longer walked but ran, or tried to run, deep in those unmoving valleys, while the forest continued to cast on him its vast, dark distances.

  25 March 2005

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  Current & Upcoming Books

  01

  Juan Pablo Villalobos, Down the Rabbit Hole

  translated from the Spanish by Rosalind Harvey

  02
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  Clemens Meyer, All the Lights

  translated from the German by Katy Derbyshire

  03

  Deborah Levy, Swimming Home

  04

  Iosi Havilio, Open Door

  translated from the Spanish by Beth Fowler

  05

  Oleg Zaionchkovsky, Happiness is Possible

  translated from the Russian by Andrew Bromfield

  06

  Carlos Gamerro, The Islands

  translated from the Spanish by Ian Barnett

  07

  Christoph Simon, Zbinden’s Progress

  translated from the German by Donal McLaughlin

  08

  Helen DeWitt, Lightning Rods

  09

  Deborah Levy, Black Vodka: ten stories

  10

  Oleg Pavlov, Captain of the Steppe

  translated from the Russian by Ian Appleby

  11

  Rodrigo de Souza Leão, All Dogs are Blue

  translated from the Portuguese by Zoë Perry & Stefan Tobler

  12

  Juan Pablo Villalobos, Quesadillas

  translated from the Spanish by Rosalind Harvey

  13

  Iosi Havilio, Paradises

  translated from the Spanish by Beth Fowler

  14

  Ivan Vladislavić, Double Negative

  15

  Benjamin Lytal, A Map of Tulsa

  16

  Ivan Vladislavić, The Restless Supermarket

  17

  Elvira Dones, Sworn Virgin

  translated from the Italian by Clarissa Botsford

  18

  Oleg Pavlov, The Matiushin Case

  translated from the Russian by Andrew Bromfield

  19

  Paulo Scott, Nowhere People

  translated from the Portuguese by Daniel Hahn

  20

  Deborah Levy, An Amorous Discourse in the Suburbs of Hell

  21

  Juan Tomás Ávila Laurel, By Night the Mountain Burns

  translated from the Spanish by Jethro Soutar

  22

  SJ Naudé, The Alphabet of Birds

  translated from the Afrikaans by the author

  23

  Niyati Keni, Esperanza Street

  24

  Yuri Herrera, Signs Preceding the End of the World

  translated from the Spanish by Lisa Dillman

  25

  Carlos Gamerro, The Adventure of the Busts of Eva Perón

  translated from the Spanish by Ian Barnett

  26

  Anne Cuneo, Tregian’s Ground

  translated from the French by Roland Glasser and Louise Rogers Lalaurie

  27

  Angela Readman, Don’t Try This at Home

  28

  Ivan Vladislavić, 101 Detectives

  29

  Oleg Pavlov, Requiem for a Soldier

  translated from the Russian by Anna Gunin

  30

  Haroldo Conti, Southeaster

  translated from the Spanish by Jon Lindsay Miles

  31

  Ivan Vladislavić, The Folly

  32

  Susana Moreira Marques, Now and at the Hour of Our Death

  translated from the Portuguese by Julia Sanches

  33

  Lina Wolff, Bret Easton Ellis and the Other Dogs

  translated from the Swedish by Frank Perry

  34

  Anakana Schofield, Martin John

  35

  Joanna Walsh, Vertigo

  36

  Wolfgang Bauer, Crossing the Sea

  translated from the German by Sarah Pybus

  with photographs by Stanislav Krupař

  37

  Various, Lunatics, Lovers and Poets:

  Twelve Stories after Cervantes and Shakespeare

  38

  Yuri Herrera, The Transmigration of Bodies

  translated from the Spanish by Lisa Dillman

  39

  César Aira, The Seamstress and the Wind

  translated from the Spanish by Rosalie Knecht

  40

  Juan Pablo Villalobos, I’ll Sell You a Dog

  translated from the Spanish by Rosalind Harvey

  41

  Enrique Vila-Matas, Vampire in Love

  translated from the Spanish by Margaret Jull Costa

  42

  Emmanuelle Pagano, Trysting

  translated from the French by Jennifer Higgins and Sophie Lewis

  43

  Arno Geiger, The Old King in His Exile

  translated from the German by Stefan Tobler

  44

  Michelle Tea, Black Wave

 

 

 


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