After an hour, he thought God might be on his side and that was why no one had seen him. He was sure that if a British or French patrol spotted him leaping from building to building, he’d be shot like a squirrel in a tree.
“Halt, I say,” a voice said from a narrow street Robert had just crossed by leaping from roof to roof. He dropped to the tiles and did not move. His heart hammered like a drum. The air was cold, but he started sweating.
“What is it, Fairfax? Were you seeing Chinese ghosts again?”
“No, I saw something up there between those buildings. It was suspicious like.”
The sentries fell quiet. Robert knew they were waiting for him to move or make a noise. He hugged the roof wanting to become part of it. He could smell the fear in his sweat.
“There’s nothing there, Fairfax. You’re seeing things again.”
“It was one of those Chinese spirits, Wetherby. I know it was.”
“You’re daft. Let’s finish our rounds. We’ll be relieved soon. You can report your suspicions then. If you do, the lieutenant will probably order us to go on the roofs and risk breaking bones searching about. If I was you, I’d keep my mouth shut.”
“I don’t know.”
“Next time you see one of those ghosts of yours, shoot it, Fairfax. Then we’ll find out if it has flesh and bones or is just your imagination.”
Robert tensed as he listened to their voices fade. Once he was sure they were gone, he crawled over the rooftop and down the other side. His legs were so shaky he was afraid to walk.
He started to doubt his ability to reach Ayaou. Next time, the sentries might shoot.
Chapter 33
When he reached the house, Robert lay on a roof across the street and studied the area to make sure none of Parkes’s people was watching.
He was getting good at this skulking about and almost chuckled but bit his lower lip to keep his mouth sealed. When Shao-mei had been alive, there had been attempts on all three of them. He had to be careful.
Thinking about Ayaou and Shao-mei sobered him. He closed his eyes, rested his face against the cool roof tiles, and remembered the time Ayaou had cut his hair and Shao-mei had teased him. He could still hear the hissing sound Shao-mei made before she said, “Oh, Ayaou, look what you have done to the back of his head!”
Tears filled his eyes, but he smiled from the memory. That haircut had been a precious moment he didn’t want to forget.
He was not going to risk climbing down while in this mood, so he stayed on the roof longer as he struggled with the sorrow.
Once calm, he found a way off the roof to the street. Dear God, he thought, I hope you understand how much I miss Shao-mei. I know it was a sin to live with and want two women, but you know I never used her in that way.
Taking a calming breath, he dashed across the street and discovered the door to the house locked. He knocked and listened to the silence hoping to hear Ayaou’s answering scratch.
He jumped as rockets hit the city sending blast waves through the crooked streets with an invisible force. The ground trembled, and he cursed himself for being a fool. He gritted his teeth and knocked again.
Maybe he should return to the barracks. What if Guan-jiah and Ayaou were dead?
Then he heard a scratching from the other side of the door, and it matched the code used in Ningpo after Shao-mei’s death. He scratched back and Ayaou’s muffled voice cried out in surprise. As he waited for the door to be unlocked, he expected a squad of British Marines to come and arrest him.
What if the person on the other side wasn’t her? What if this was a trap? He attempted seeing through the darkness engulfing the street. Everyone was smarter than he was. He was a fool taking a chance like this. He lifted his revolver and pointed the weapon at the door.
When it opened, he saw Ayaou. Pushing past her, he locked the door behind him and leaned over with hands braced against knees to laugh until tears streamed down his face.
Once he was calm, he studied her and saw the dark circles under her eyes. She had grown thinner. Then he saw Guan-jiah standing in a corner holding a revolver. As usual, Guan-jiah’s hand was shaking.
“We were about to go and look for you,” she said, and then started to cry. “We thought you were dead.”
Robert looked at Guan-jiah, who had eyes the size of gold sovereigns. “It is true, Master. You have not been here for days. We thought you were dead. I did not know what to do. We were running out of rice, which is all the food we have left.”
“I’m alive today,” Robert said, “but I can’t make promises for tomorrow.”
“I will go to my room. If you want tea later, I will have it ready.” Guan-jiah slipped the pistol into a wide sleeve and left.
He watched his servant disappear into the cupboard-sized space where he slept. Once Guan-jiah was gone, he turned to Ayaou. “Never leave the house, Ayaou.” He cupped her chin in a hand. “You stay here and let me find you. Promise. Guan-jiah will find food without your help.”
She nodded obediently, but Robert had doubts. He wasn’t sure the message telegraphing itself from her eyes agreed with what he wanted her to do.
“Guan-jiah, did you hear what I said?” He aimed the words toward his servant’s room. “That goes for you too. I know you can hear me. You have the ears of a bat. Don’t go out for anything but food and water and make sure Ayaou stays inside. Only go out during the day. Most of the attacks take place at night. Also, stay away from the city’s walls and gates. That’s where the fighting takes place. I don’t want either of you getting shot or beheaded.”
“Yes, Master,” Guan-jiah’s muffled voice replied.
Just the thought of the risks the eunuch was taking caused Robert’s throat to thicken with emotion. He valued his servant’s loyalty. Guan-jiah didn’t have to stay. He could quit and go home to the safety and comfort of his family.
“Come, Robert,” Ayaou said, her impatience evident. She took his hand and pulled him toward their room. The house felt deserted as if no one lived there. The rooms were empty of furniture. The floors and walls, however much Guan-jiah or Ayaou had scrubbed them, still looked filthy. It wasn’t where he wanted to spend a night with the woman he loved.
Once in their room, his greedy hands explored every inch of her body. Her hunger was as strong as his was. They made frantic love, but it ended too quickly.
Afterwards, he heard a creaking sound in the hallway as if someone had stepped on a loose board. Robert disliked the lack of privacy in this house. The bedroom door couldn’t be locked, and the gaps between the door’s planks made it possible for a spy to watch and remain unseen.
Guan-jiah was up to his skulking again watching and listening to them making love.
“When you are not with me,” she said, in a voice devoid of energy, “my dreams are always about you dead. I fear sleep.” Her exhaustion was visible, her skin wasn’t as radiant as it had been, and stress lines were growing from her eyes like spider webs.
He couldn’t tell her he was living in the same state of fear. He dreaded speaking, because his voice might betray him. To compensate, he pulled her close and held her. Such contact had aroused him when they lived in Ningpo. Now it did nothing. The desire that had driven Robert since first meeting Ayaou had fled, and he hated its absence. Life had become uncertain. They couldn’t even be sure of the next moment.
Near midnight, an explosion, much larger than the rockets, shook the house and woke them. Robert held Ayaou’s trembling body and listened to the sounds of bugles and drums calling the British and French troops to assemble.
“I have to go,” he said. He tried to get off the mat, but Ayaou wouldn’t let go. “Ayaou, I’m needed.” He managed to pry her off and started to pull his clothes on.
Ayaou walked to him on her knees and wrapped her arms around his legs to hold on. “Do not go,” she said. “Do not leave me again.”
“I can’t stay, Ayaou. The commissioner needs me.” He tried to pry her arms from his legs so he co
uld finish dressing, but she hung onto him. He moved toward the door dragging her with him.
“No!” She wailed. “You will die!”
He didn’t know what to do. He stared at the top of her head but couldn’t see her face. She was pressed into the space between his knees. Her arms were stubborn ropes.
“Do you want me to go with you, Master?” Guan-jiah came into the bedroom. “I have my pistol. I will fight.” The eunuch was fully dressed.
“No, stay and look after Ayaou. Keep her safe.” He gestured at her. “Guan-jiah, remove her. I can’t walk like this.”
Guan-jiah managed to pry her off. Then she rolled into the shape of a ball, placed her forehead on the floor and sobbed with great gulping sounds. The eunuch kept a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
The guilt Robert felt was terrible. “If something happens to me, take care of her? I am counting on you, Guan-jiah. I have no one else I can trust.”
The eunuch stared at the floor and didn’t reply.
“Guan-jiah,” he said, “you are like a brother. I depend on you.”
“Stay, you will be safer here,” Ayaou said. Her face was flushed and wet with tears. Guan-jiah seemed to notice that she was naked. He started to leave.
“Guan-jiah, stay with her. She’s in no shape to be alone, and I have to go.”
“Master, she has no clothes on.”
“Guan-jiah, you’ve seen naked women before. What’s the difference? Besides, she can put clothes on. Did you hear me, Ayaou? Get dressed. This isn’t acceptable.”
Guan-jiah found clothes and attempted to dress her but she did not cooperate. She kept her arms wrapped around her knees and rocked back and forth.
“This is impossible, Master.”
“Nothing is impossible. She will settle down. Get a blanket around her. Keep her warm.”
Guan-jiah found a blanket. Then he did something Robert had never seen before. He wrapped his arms around her as if she were a child and started to hum. Ayaou turned and pressed her face against the eunuch’s chest. Her arms went around his neck. Guan-jiah rocked her and patted her back while he hummed. Her sobs subsided.
Robert hesitated. He was glad his servant wasn’t a real man. He couldn’t make himself open the door, so he knelt on one knee in front of Ayaou. “I have to go,” he said in as gentle a voice as he could muster. “It’s my duty. To stay here would brand me as a coward in my colleagues’ eyes. I can’t live with that. Besides, Commissioner Parkes knows about this house and has forbidden me to come here. If I’m not in my quarters, he’ll send soldiers to find me.”
“What about your duty to your child?” Her tears had stopped, her face was puffy and a defiant look had appeared in her bloodshot eyes.
Guan-jiah’s head snapped up, and his eyes fastened on Robert. “The mistress carries a child?” he said. “I did not know that, Master, or I would have told you.”
He saw a gleam of hope in the eunuch’s eyes. Robert almost groaned. His servant was thinking he was going to have a second chance to become an adopted uncle again. “Maybe we didn’t hear her right,” he said. “What did you say, Ayaou?”
“What do you expect after having planted your dragon-seeds in me so many times? I have to carry it for a while before we find a way to get rid of it.”
“Get rid of him!” Blood rushed into his head along with anger. “What are you talking about?” He signaled Guan-jiah. “Get a robe on her!”
The eunuch rummaged in the standing closet. When he returned, he had a satin robe and draped it over her.
“Get up,” Robert said. She stood and let the robe hang open revealing her nudity.
“You don’t look pregnant.”
She barked a laugh. “You want to be blind. What does it matter what you believe? I am not your wife.” She waved her arms and the robe slid off.
“Guan-jiah,” he said.
“Master, she isn’t cooperating.” Ayaou walked about the room as the servant chased her attempting to put the robe on.
Her face was twisted and ugly. She stopped, placed fists on her hips and leaned toward him. “I am not even your concubine. I still belong to Ward. I do not want to be shamed.”
Why does she keep throwing this at me? Then he remembered Uncle Bark’s words of advice and fought his anger.
Guan-jiah managed to get the robe on her, and he struggled to tie the cord. She lifted her arms and the robe slid off. Guan-jiah looked embarrassed as he pulled the robe around her again. She ignored him and focused her fire on Robert. This time the robe stayed. Guan-jiah looked relieved.
Robert ignored the furious look on her face. “What’s important is that he is our child,” he said. His anger struggled to break free, but he managed to keep his voice calm. “How long have you known?”
“What does it matter when it started to grow?” she said. “It is a foreign devil’s seed. This creature will be condemned in China. When they see it on the streets, they will spit on it.”
“How long?” Maybe the child belonged to another man. The anger was winning. He closed his eyes and thought of Uncle Bark’s words. “When her tongue tests you, remember the good times before Ward murdered Shao-mei.”
“April!” she replied. “I knew in April!”
“I want him, Ayaou. This child is mine, and he belongs to God. We have no right to take his life. I’ll think of a way. Now I have to go. The Taipings could be invading the city. Every man is needed.” He hurried to the front door.
She followed with Guan-jiah close on her heels. The robe started to slip from her shoulders again, since it was too large for her. It was one of Robert’s. Guan-jiah pulled the robe back up.
“I do not believe in your silly, filthy God,” she said.
He stepped outside the house and looked back. “Don’t talk about God like that,” he said. The anger locked inside felt like fists pounding to escape. “Don’t let her out of the house, Guan-jiah. Keep her safe.”
Guan-jiah had a look in his eyes that Robert recognized. He was thinking of the baby that had died with Shao-mei when she had been murdered.
Dear God, spare me, he thought. “Yes, Guan-jiah,” he said. “I know what you want. You can be the adopted uncle. Heaven knows the child will need someone to watch over him—someone I can depend on when I’m not here. Someone who will love him as I will.”
Guan-jiah smiled. “Mistress Ayaou, we must get inside. You could get sick standing here half-dressed. We must think of the child.”
“Close the door,” Robert said.
The look on Ayaou’s face changed from anger to one of loss and her face dissolved into pain. That was the last thing Robert saw before the door closed.
Ayaou’s expression followed him down the street. He shouldn’t have left, but he didn’t have a choice. War was calling. He thought about the time Ayaou had saved his life after Ward’s defeat at Sungkiang when he had been wounded and Ayaou managed to hide him in an abandoned farmer’s hut where he had recovered. She could have left him and saved herself. Instead, she risked her life.
He knew that behind her angry words, she still loved him. Then he stumbled when a bright flash lit the sky followed by the rumble of another explosion. The ground trembled. Robert started to run.
Back at the commission, Robert asked the first officer he met what had happened.
“Rebels blew up the northwest corner of the city wall and got inside,” the officer replied. “They managed to occupy two city blocks, but we beat them back.”
The man’s face was smudged with gunpowder. His eyes pulsed with excitement. “The royal engineers are repairing the breech as we talk.”
A little after two in the afternoon, Robert was walking from Colonel Walsh’s quarters toward his when a rocket hit the ground in front of him sending sparks in every direction. Some of the sparks hit his face burning him and he leaped from the heat. Thank goodness the rocket didn’t explode. If it had, he would have been blown to pieces.
There wouldn’t have been anything left to bury if
that had happened. Ayaou would have been crushed into insanity and their unborn child would’ve grown-up without a father and treated as an outcast. Then he remembered the look in Guan-jiah’s eyes.
No, the child wouldn’t grow up without a father. He would have his adopted uncle, who couldn’t have children of his own.
If anything happened to him, Guan-jiah would raise the child if Ayaou didn’t want it. And even if she kept the baby, Robert was sure Guan-jiah would stay close. The child would not go without love. He was sure Guan-jiah had enough for a dozen children. It was a relief that he had someone like Guan-jiah to depend on.
He stared at the rocket sticking out of the ground. Half of it was buried in the dirt. The shock drained the strength out of his legs. He leaned against the nearest wall to keep from collapsing.
Men came running. “Good god,” a colonel said. Several soldiers attempted lifting the rocket.
“What are you doing?” the colonel said. “It might explode. It could have a delayed fuse.”
Everyone ran. Robert managed to get his legs moving and followed. Once he was inside peering around a sturdy doorframe at the rocket, he thought, Ayaou could’ve been a widow without ever having been a wife.
He resolved to write his last will and testament and leave what little money he had to Guan-jiah, who could use it to care for Ayaou and the child.
The thought of dying without making provisions for the woman he loved and the child she carried horrified him. The next time he talked to Guan-jiah, he would tell his servant what he wanted done if he was killed.
The Western forces poured out of the city a few hours later and counterattacked. British and French gunboats in the river pounded the rebel positions. The shelling killed hundreds. Soon after the shelling and the counterattack, the rebel forces retreated north. English and French scouts followed and reported that the rebels numbered several thousand.
My Splendid Concubine Page 42