by Ann Major
She laughed.
After they finished eating, she cleared the plates. “I can’t believe Noah’s sleeping this late. What did you do to wear him out?”
“Worrying about that witch in his closet wore him out.” He paused. “About your nightmare—”
She whitened. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I know.” His hand closed over her wrist. “But I need you to sit down and tell me all about Vernon.” Something dark in his voice made her suspect he’d already guessed the worst.
The last thing she wanted was to mar the beauty of their first shared morning together by reliving what Vernon had done to her.
“I’ve got to go to work,” she pleaded. “Lots of threads are hanging loose after the fundraiser. I still have checks in my purse, including yours.”
“Sit down, Maddie.”
At his fierce expression, she slowly sank back into her chair.
“What did he do to you? I want the truth, the whole truth, and if you don’t tell me, I’ll find your mother and so help me, I’ll force it out of her. If that doesn’t work I’ll go to Huntsville…”
“No.”
“Then why don’t you make it easy for me?” He paused. “I don’t believe you ever intended to leave me for him. He hurt you, didn’t he? You weren’t ever in love with him. You left because he hurt you? And because I wasn’t there for you when you tried to call me?”
Barely able to breathe because of the fist clamped around her heart, she looked away.
He leaned closer. “Tell me, damn it. Did he do what I think?”
When hot tears of shame leaked out of her eyes, she brushed at them frantically. “I told myself I’d never cry because of him again.”
“Just tell me!”
“My mother didn’t believe me, so why should you?”
“Did that bastard rape you?”
A desperate sob rose in her throat. She wanted to deny it. If only she could reclaim her innocence somehow, but he saw; he knew.
“My mother said it was all my fault.”
“The hell it was.”
“I—I tried to stop him. I really did.”
“I know, sweetheart. I believe you,” he whispered, his voice as agonized as hers. “Go on….”
“But he was so strong. Even though I had a black eye and a cut lip, my mother refused to believe me. She said I seduced him to be mean to her. When she threw me out, I didn’t know who to turn to or where to go, so I called you…and got your mother, who told me how cheap I was.”
He shuddered. After an endless pause, he managed, “And then you went to Miss Jennie?”
“Yes. She was wonderful.”
“Thank God.” He reached across the table and took her hand, pressing her slim fingers hard. “I should have guessed the truth.”
“How could you?”
“I don’t know, but I shouldn’t have been so wrapped up in my own damn ego and pain, so furious and hurt that you could leave me for Vernon that I didn’t question your mother or the gossip. I drove you away. I was as bad as everybody else in Yella—worse, because I should have known better since I really knew you.”
“I felt so ashamed…”
“I’m the one who should be ashamed. It’s a good thing he’s locked up, or I’d have to find him and make him pay.”
“No.” She began to shake. “Then they’d lock you in a cage, too. I don’t want that.” She paused. “When Noah was around one, Vernon came to Austin. He told me that if I ever went to the police and told them the truth, he’d kill me. You see, he was on parole at the time. He said any infraction could put him away for good. He put his hands around my neck and squeezed so tightly I couldn’t breathe…just for a few seconds, just to give me a taste of what it would be like to die, he said. He said Noah would be raised by foster mothers who’d be worse than my mother. After that, I was scared of everything, of my own shadow. Even after he went back to prison for raping another girl, I was still scared. That’s when the nightmares started.”
“If only you’d called me.”
“I did,” she reminded him. “You hung up on me because you’d just married Lizzie.”
“Oh, God. My sorry treatment of you…”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“The hell it doesn’t! It will always matter. In my own way I was worse than Vernon. If I’d claimed you as my girlfriend from the beginning, maybe he would have been afraid to touch you because of the high-and-mighty Coleman name. Did I ever go to your home once? Take an interest in what you had to deal with there? Warn him to leave you alone or he’d have to deal with me? No, I left you powerless, defenseless. Oh, it matters. It damn sure matters.”
She looked into his eyes and saw everything she needed to see. He believed her.
“You were in college.”
“I was old enough to know better,” he said, his low tone filled with self-loathing.
“I blamed myself, too. My mother said I’d been asking for it for weeks, dressing sexily to put her down and make her feel old…but I’d only been trying to be pretty for you. I should have been more aware of how I affected Vernon.”
“It wasn’t your fault. Get that through your head.”
“It wasn’t yours either,” she said, rising from her chair because she wanted to touch him and to be held.
Slowly she slid her hands across his broad chest and laid her head against his shoulder. When his lips brushed her forehead and he pulled her even closer, happiness filled her. His dark head bent over hers. Then he lifted her chin and kissed her gently on the lips. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she inhaled his scent and savored the muscular texture of his body.
She was sighing when the door behind them banged, and Noah hurled himself into the kitchen.
“Can I have pancakes for break—” When he saw his mother wrapped in Cole’s arms, his eyes widened and his bottom lip stuck out.
Stunned, she sprang free of Cole and rushed to her son. Kneeling beside him, she said, “Darling. Mommy’s late for work, so we need to get you dressed and ready for school.”
Noah stared at Cole. “What’s he still doing here? Why was he kissing you?”
“I said we have to get you dressed and ready for—”
“How come you let him sleep over and you never let Greg?”
“Honey, Greg and I broke up yesterday.”
“Because of him?” Noah waited. Then he tore free of her and crossed his arms over his thin chest.
“We’ll…we’ll have to talk about all this later.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to go to school.” Noah turned and marched huffily back to his room.
“Do you want me to try to talk to him?” Cole asked.
She shook her head. “I’m afraid everything’s happened too fast. I should have prepared him. I think you’d better go,” she whispered. “He and I need some time, just the two of us, to work this out. I’ll call you.”
“No. We’ve got to tell him who I am—now.”
“Not this morning!”
“The sooner we tell him the less confused he’ll be.”
“You never stop.”
“Not when I know what has to be done.” He turned and walked down the hall after Noah.
“Cole—no!” By the time she caught him, he was already inside Noah’s room.
“I know how you feel,” he was saying to their son, “because this is all happening so fast.”
“I—I don’t understand,” Noah said sulkily.
“I’m here because I’m your father. I know it’s a shock because I just learned that fact myself.”
When Noah’s huge eyes glanced at her for confirmation, she nodded.
“I want to take care of you and your mother. I want to marry your mother. I want us to be a family.”
When Noah stared at him, Maddie wondered what was going on in his head.
“You could have waited,” she said when Cole came back out of Noah’s room.
“No. I couldn’t. I’ve already lost six years, and so has he. I want to go to bed with you every night knowing he’s in the house and to wake up beside you every morning like we did today.”
At the memory of how sweet he’d been last night and this morning, she let out a long sigh. In spite of his pushing so hard, a part of her wanted those things, too.
“So, I’ve made a little progress?”
“Maybe a little,” she admitted.
“Good.” Cole pulled her into his arms and gave her a quick kiss. “Go see Noah in case he’s more upset than he seemed,” he whispered. “I’ll see myself out.”
Noah, however, was dressed and ready for school. He’d taken the news in stride and was willing to talk to Cole when he called later that night. And because he was, her own objections and doubts lessened.
Maybe Cole was right. Maybe their marriage could work.
Fifteen
One long week later, Cole checked his watch as he rushed up Maddie’s sidewalk. He’d made it. It was 5:30 on the dot. He’d even managed to buy her a long-stemmed yellow rose from a homeless vendor on a busy street corner.
As soon as he’d completed his well, Cole had jumped in his truck and driven straight back to Austin.
Not that he was sure he’d find Maddie home yet. The traffic had been so bad on the south side of the city, it seemed very likely she’d be stuck somewhere. But before he was halfway up her sidewalk, her front door opened and she ran toward him.
God, she was beautiful in her sexy blue sundress. When he swept her into his arms, her brilliant smile warmed him as nothing else could. He caught the sweet fragrance of gardenias before he crushed her close.
“My well came in.”
“Congratulations!”
“How’d your week go?” he murmured, handing her the rose that was a little worse for wear due to the Texas heat.
Taking the golden blossom, she clung to him. “I missed you,” she admitted huskily. “Craving you is beginning to feel like an addiction.”
He sighed. “I’m just as hooked as you are.”
Even though they’d spoken over the phone, being away from her hadn’t been easy. She’d tentatively accepted his proposal, and they were trying to figure out how to share their lives. For some reason she was determined that he shouldn’t cut himself off from everybody in Yella because of her, and she’d offered to come back to Yella to face both the gossips and her demons.
“You’ve been through enough there,” he’d said.
“We need to give your community a chance to accept me now,” she’d said bravely.
“I don’t care whether they do or not.”
“But I do—not only for your sake, but for Noah’s. Your mother lives in Yella. It would be nice if Noah had at least one grandmother.”
Because of Maddie’s insistence, Cole had already told friends and family the truth about their relationship and the truth about Noah’s paternity. They had understood his being infatuated with her in the past and getting her pregnant, but they didn’t approve of him being seriously involved with her again. Everybody except Adam warned him to stay away from her.
Not wanting to think about other people’s prejudices, Cole pushed a long strand of black hair back from Maddie’s face. “Where’s Noah?”
“At Tristan’s. Watching a movie. Which means we have a little time alone. He’ll be home soon, but then they’re doing a sleepover, which I planned so we could enjoy—”
“Our own sleepover,” Cole finished.
“Exactly.” Blue flames lit her violet eyes as he nipped her bottom lip seductively. When he kissed her harder, he felt her body heat against his. He loved how responsive she was.
“Here. I’ve got something special for you,” he said, pulling a little black velvet box from his shirt pocket. Feeling embarrassed, he sank to one knee. “I’m afraid I should have thought of a more original and romantic way to propose.”
Taking the box and opening it, she laughed, gasping with awed pleasure when she saw the huge diamond. “Wow!”
“So, will you marry me?” he whispered, looking up at her.
She knelt to his level, her fingertips skimming his cheek. “Yes. Yes!”
He took her hand and slid his ring onto her finger.
When she turned her hand to admire it, the diamond flashed. “I definitely can’t wear this to work. I’d blind everybody. Or get my finger cut off walking across the parking lot.”
“Well, wear it whenever you feel like it.”
“Like when I come back to Yella.”
“I’ve been thinking that maybe people there need a little more time to adjust to the idea of you and me.”
“So, you’ve told them about us and they warned you away.”
He was silent.
She studied his grave expression. “Have they said things to make you ashamed of me?”
“No. I just don’t like giving them the chance to hurt you again.”
“I need to go back and face the past, for myself as much as for us. I’ve been running from shadows for far too long. I gave one incident too much power over me. Since I told you about Vernon, I haven’t had another nightmare. It’s like this huge emotional weight just lifted off me. I don’t understand it. For the first time in years I feel free. And good about myself. I think that if I faced other demons, I might feel even better.”
“I’m so glad.”
“Maybe I need to convince myself you’ll really stand up for me, as well. So, I’ve made arrangements to get off work and come to Yella for a week or two. I guess we’ll find out if we both have the guts to take this thing to the next level. Only you have to promise me that if it turns out one of us doesn’t think it’ll work, you’ll let me go.”
He wasn’t about to do that. “What about Noah?”
“You’ll always be his father. No matter what, I want you to play an active role in his life. It’s just that we might not marry…”
“I can’t go there.”
“What if we both realize marriage isn’t the best solution?”
“I refuse to believe that.”
* * *
It was nearly noon, and Maddie’s brow was wrinkled from so much paperwork. She was looking forward to taking a break before her lunch meeting when her phone buzzed. Hoping it was Cole phoning to say he’d arrived safely back in Yella, she blushed as memories of the wild sex they’d indulged in the night before bombarded her. He’d possessed her in every possible way, in every possible position—on her bed, on the floor, against her wall. On her bedroom desk. And she’d reveled in it like the wanton she was reputed to be.
“Hello,” she whispered a little too huskily.
“I have a lady in the waiting area to see you, Miss Gray,” Lucy, her secretary, said.
“Oh.”
“I can’t place her, and she refuses to give her name. She looks important.”
Maddie smoothed her hair and glanced at her watch. Maddie understood wealthy donors. So much for taking a quick break.
“Show her in.”
Seconds later, Hester Coleman, her black silk suit as severe as her face, stood before Maddie’s desk. Gloved hands knotted, Hester stared down the length of her long, aquiline nose, her gaze sweeping both Maddie and her tiny office with its stacks of papers and folders on the floor.
In her rush to stand, Maddie knocked over the bud vase with Cole’s single yellow rose in it, spilling water onto the stack of envelopes she’d just sealed for mailing.
“Oh, dear.” Quickly she set the vase and the rose upright and lifted dripping envelopes out of a puddle of water. Mopping at her desk with one of the paper towels she kept nearby, she attempted a smile.
“May I sit down?” Hester said.
“Why…of course.” Nodding nervously in the direction of the chair opposite her desk, Maddie sank back down in her own.
“I know about the child you’re using to blackmail Cole.”
Maddie went hot with indignation. “I would never use Noah
in such a way!”
“How effective to tell Cole now…when he’s free again. How else could a girl like you get him to consider marrying you? You don’t care what you cost him, do you?”
Maddie did care. “Does Cole know you’re here?”
“That’s hardly the point. He may be a fool, but I’m not. I’m here to offer you a generous settlement, in cash, if you refuse to marry him.”
With her rage and hurt simmering just beneath the surface, Maddie stood up. “This interview is over. I want you to leave my office.”
“What? You can’t throw me out!” Outraged, Hester arose. “When you’ve cut him off from everybody he’s known and loved his entire life, how long do you think you’ll continue to fascinate him? He’ll resent you,” Hester cried. “Eventually he’ll leave you.”
“Maybe.” Maddie picked up her purse. “But you’re risking as much as I am. You have a grandson. Do you want to lose him? Do you want to be cut out of his life forever? Is that what you really want?”
Color flamed in Hester’s cheeks. “No, but whatever sorrows I might be experiencing as a grandmother, my real distress has to do with my son for becoming involved with a woman who will ruin his life. If you were any kind of mother, you would understand.”
* * *
Maddie, who hadn’t been able to eat more than a couple of saltine crackers after Hester left, had felt so weak and shaken she’d barely been able to function for the rest of the afternoon. Her anger and sense of injustice ate at her. Indeed, she was so upset she made a mess of every project she touched. Finally, she grew so frustrated with herself for letting the woman’s words get to her, she went home early.
Once home, she took her phone off the hook and tortured herself by replaying the older woman’s vicious looks and cruel slights in her mind. Was Hester right about Maddie’s background making her unfit to be Cole’s wife? Would their marriage cut him off from everybody he knew and loved? He had said he thought they should live in Austin, so the past wouldn’t cloud their future. But she knew what Coleman’s Landing meant to him.
After a miserable hour spent beating up on herself for no crime other than having been born who she was, she dragged herself out of the depths and reconnected her telephone. When Cole called five minutes later to ask about her day, she didn’t mention Hester’s visit. Instead, she gave him the dates for her upcoming visit to Yella.