by Paige Steele
Copyright © Paige Steele
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This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Cover Design by: Pink Ink
Cover Model: Steven Brewis and Ami Houde
Photographer: David Wagner of WagnerLA Photography
Editing by: K. Hrdlicka and Kellie Montgomery
Formatting by: Juliana Cabrera
This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book either are from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, establishments, events, or location is purely coincidental and not intended by the author. Please do not take offense to the content, as it is FICTION.
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This book contains mature content not suitable for those under the age of 18. Involves strong language and sexual situations. All parties portrayed in sexual situations are adults over the age of 18.
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Published by Paige Steele, February 2016
Title
Copyright
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One: Ryan
Chapter Two: Kenna
Chapter Three: Ryan
Chapter Four: Kenna
Chapter Five: Ryan
Chapter Six: Kenna
Chapter Seven: Ryan
Chapter Eight: Kenna
Chapter Nine: Ryan
Chapter Ten: Kenna
Chapter Eleven: Ryan
Chapter Twelve: Kenna
Chapter Thirteen: Ryan
Chapter Fourteen: Kenna
Chapter Fifteen: Ryan
Chapter Sixteen: Kenna
Chapter Seventeen: Ryan
Chapter Eighteen: Kenna
Chapter Nineteen: Ryan
Epilogue
Coming Soon: Dirty Vow
About The Author
A Sincere Thanks...
All my dirty, flirty friends.
Stay Dirty
<3 P.S I love you <3
Riding a dirt bike is all I’ve ever known. When I started riding years ago, with my best friend Cooper, I never thought I’d be the one that landed a pro contract before him. However, there I was, my senior year in high school, signing my name on the dotted line.
Cooper, my best friend, and I were in a mid-air crash at the finals in Vegas last May. Now it’s November. While he recovered from his injury, I, on the other hand, have not. After I had surgery on my wrist to repair it, I sat around, with a metal rod sticking out of my wrist and arm, to keep the metal plates and screws in place for ten weeks. Cooper and his now fiancé, Ansley, who happens to be my other best friend, have been great through all of this. They call, text, or come over all the time. I know they’re just making sure I’m okay, but honestly, it pisses me off to see him back on the bike already and racing. And that he just won the Monster Energy Cup back in Vegas about six weeks ago. I love them both very much, but I need to figure this out alone.
I sit here on the couch, which is all I feel like I’ve done for the past several months. I have a beer in one hand, while the other one is still fucked up. The doctors assure me that I’ll be able to ride again, but I’ll believe it when I see it. I have no strength in it and struggle to even make a fist.
Watching the days pass by, as well as the races every weekend, has consumed my thoughts. What do I do from here, where do I go, and what do I say when someone asks? So, you know what I do? I don’t do anything, I don’t go anywhere, and I keep my answers short.
During the days I try to work out as much as possible. The trainer for the team comes over every day, and we go through the same fucking routines to keep my body in the best shape I can. It’s exhausting, trying to keep smiling when I’m at my breaking point of just not caring.
The first couple of months out of the hospital, my nights consisted of me having a few hotties that came in and out of my bedroom. They'd been right where I’d needed them, when my body had the urge to be inside someone. No, I didn’t have feelings for any of them; it had been one night of lust and then a goodbye the next day. I wasn't an asshole, they knew me, and what to expect, so it’s like we served each other’s needs, nothing more. Although, I quickly found the women didn't take away the pain in my wrist, so instead of masking my pain with sex; I found my relief in liquid comfort.
Then there’s Kenna. She’s the light at the end of my day when she comes over to see me. Sure, there are days I act like an asshole to her, and yet she still comes back for me. She tries like hell to keep my mind off of my injury and on to something else, but honestly, my thoughts are consumed by the pain I feel. We’ve never crossed the line of friendship, though I know there’s a spark between us. She’s the kind of girl I can see myself with: loving, caring, sweet, and fun, yet strong willed and independent. Kenna always says what’s on her mind and has a no bullshit attitude. She calls me out when I’m wallowing in my sorrows and gives me shit for it. It’s kind of hot watching her get riled up. She really has a fiery side.
I can’t get caught up in a relationship when I can’t even get my life together. I won’t bring her down my path to nowhere. Not knowing what the hell I can bring to a relationship, when I don’t even know what tomorrow’s going to bring for me, annoys the shit out of me. I also can’t seem to shake the thought of getting my hands on Kenna either. So where does this leave me? FUCKED, that’s where.
Lucky me…I’m blessed with the one injury that can fuck up my whole career and life forever.
Ryan
There’s a knock on the door as I sit on the couch. Then there’s another; clearly the other assholes I live with aren’t going to answer that. So I drag myself to the front of the house, just past the living room, to where our large wooden door with the large glass front is. As I open the door, there stands Kenna looking as hot as ever.
I look her up and down, taking her in from head to toe. I’m drunk, so it’s probably not wise for her to be here. She stands perfectly still, watching me closely. I haven’t invited her in yet, as I stand there with one hand on the door and one hand holding my bottle of choice.
“Ryan?”
“Now’s not a good time, Kenna.”
“Why, is there someone here with you?” The look on her face tells me what she’s hoping to hear, the word no.
“If I tell you yes, will you leave?”
“Ryan, let me in.”
“Why? Trust me Princess, you don�
�t want to be here right now. I’m in a pretty shitty mood and can’t control what I might say to you. Just go home.” I try shutting the door, but she raises her hand to stop me.
“Not happening, Ryan. So, you can either let me in or not, but either way I’m coming in.”
I start laughing out loud before I turn around, swinging the door wide open, until it slams against the wall behind it. As I walk back to the living room, I take one more swig of my bottle of Jose.
“Have you eaten today? Maybe I can order us a pizza.” She’s sweet as she speaks, but I don’t want or need sweet right now.
“Kenna, if you’re here to babysit me, then go home. Tell Ansley and Cooper thanks but really the only kind of babysitter I need right now is right here,” I say directly at her, lifting my new friend Jose to her.
“Ryan, please let me help you. This isn’t you.”
“You don’t fucking know me!” I yell at her.
“I do, so you can yell at me all you want, but it’s not going to work. I’m not leaving.”
“Then maybe this will.”
I walk over to her, in front of the room where she stands with her hands on her hips. She starts to back up, just a tad, until she’s backed against the wall. I can see a bit of fear of the unknown in her eyes, but she is still holding her ground, not backing down from me.
Placing one arm above her head, I lean against her. Getting real close to her ear, I start to speak, slurring my words slowly, “Kenna, it’d be wise if you just left tonight because I’m not thinking clearly. I’m in a bad place right now. I’m not sure you’re ready to see the way I’d like to release my frustration. So I’m going to ask you once again to just leave.”
Seeing the goosebumps cover her body, and noticing that she’s not moving, makes me do something stupid, probably really stupid, but I do it because well, let’s face it, I’m not in the right frame of mind right now. The pain I usually feel in my wrist is gone and so are my thoughts.
I turn my head and swipe my tongue up her neck, along the entire length of her jawline, until my lips press against hers. Her breath hitches as she responds nicely to my assault. Her hands reach up, grabbing the front of my shirt before I drop the bottle out of my hand, and it smashes on the floor in a million tiny pieces.
Pulling away, I’m both pissed at her for coming over and at myself for wasting what was left in that bottle.
“Kenna, just get out,” I say calmly, turning away from her. I walk over to the table, where there is yet another bottle waiting for me.
“No, Ryan, I won’t. So you can keep fighting with me on this or just go sit on the damn couch while I clean this up!” She’s shouting at me as I tip back the new bottle. I welcome the burn as it slides down my throat, aiding in covering up any lingering pain I might feel.
“Fine, do whatever the fuck you want to.”
“What the hell happened today at your doctor’s appointment, Ryan? You were good yesterday when I talked to you. You said you were hoping the doctor was going to give you the go ahead with riding.”
“Well, he didn’t, if you can’t tell. You know what the fucker said?” I ask, lifting the liquid to my lips. “That asshole told me that I need another two weeks of resting it. Then I told him to fuck off and walked out.”
“It’s okay, Ryan, you still have time to get ready for Supercross. Just follow his orders, then you’ll be ready to fly in January and kick some ass in the 450 class.”
“What the hell do you know? You’re just a little princess that walks around the races half dressed, showing her ass to all the guys. You have no idea what it’s like to ride your ass off, to win a title, and then have it all taken away. And now to feel like you’re not good enough.”
“I understand more than you know, so quit feeling sorry for yourself and drinking your pain away. It’s not going to change anything, so get your shit together and be ready to go when you can.”
“Well, you know what…Kenna…yeah, you know…I fucking want to…I don’t care…” I can’t seem to get my thoughts together to make a complete sentence now. I think the liquor is finally starting to kick in to its full strength, as I stumble around the coffee table and fall on the couch.
“Ryan, just stay there while I sweep this all up.”
“Okay, Princess…” is the last thing I remember saying.
Waking up on the couch, the sun is fucking bright coming through the window curtain, and I can smell coffee and bacon. Swinging my legs off the couch, I sit up, dropping my face in the palms of my hands. I can’t figure out what happened last night. I remember drinking and answering the door, but I don’t remember who the hell was on the other side.
Standing up, I stretch my arms over my head and look around the room. It’s clean, all the bottles that were in front of me last night are now gone, and the rest of the room is straightened up. Deciding I need to find out who is in our kitchen, I turn to head in that direction.
There’s music playing, I hear someone humming to it and it’s a female, too. Turning the corner, I see Kenna, looking breathtaking as always. I stand still for just a moment to watch her before she catches me.
She jumps when she sees me out of the corner of her eye. “Oh, Ryan, you scared me.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
“Breakfast will be ready in about ten minutes, though the coffee is ready now.”
“Thank you. I’m going to head up to take a quick shower, I probably stink.”
“Sounds good, it’ll be ready when you get done then.”
I turn to walk back out, without another word, but then stop myself because I feel she deserves a thank you for taking care of me last night and now again this morning.
“Kenna?”
“Yes, Ryan.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For last night and this,” I say pointing to the stove and coffee.
“No worries.” She smiles at me and turns to attend to the food.
After my shower, I shoot Cooper a message, letting him know that I doubt that I’ll be starting the season off this year, due to what I was just told at my appointment yesterday. He let me know that he’s ready to ride with me to get me back in shape whenever I’m given the go ahead.
Walking downstairs, I take in the scene set before me for just a couple moments, but I’m brought back from my thoughts when my phone starts to ring. It’s the team doctor letting me know he’ll be over with the therapist around one, so he can show me some of the strengthening exercises he wants me to start doing daily.
Kenna made enough food for the entire team, but most of them have taken time to visit with their families over the next few days and aren’t here. A couple of them didn’t come home last night, so it’s just her and me. It’s slightly awkward as I walk back in. I’m not sure what exactly I did last night or how much of an asshole I was.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing to say. I came over to see you last night and then fell asleep in the chair while you crashed on the couch.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it, Ryan. Why, what did you think happened?” She seems a bit worried at my answer. The look on her face says it all. It makes me wonder if she’s telling me the truth as to what really took place.
“I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t a total asshole to you, or that I didn’t say or do something stupid.”
“Nope, nothing, so no worries…okay? Now eat before things get cold.”
“Are you sure? Because I know you cleaned up in there.”
“Yes, I’m sure. Just because I picked up a few dishes and bottles doesn’t mean anything.”
I load my plate up with food as Kenna places the pans in the dishwasher. I have a gut feeling she’s not telling me the whole truth about what went on last night, but for now I’ll let it go.
Kenna
Standing in his kitchen, after what took place in his
living room a mere twelve hours ago, has my head spinning. I’m trying really hard not to act any different toward him, but it’s difficult. He doesn’t remember his lips on mine last night, and I can’t seem to forget them.
He hasn’t really said much, and I’m okay with that, but he needs to talk to someone. I’m hoping that someone will be me. He thinks I have no idea what it’s like to want something you can’t have. Well, I’ve been there. I’ve fought to get to where I’m at today, and I won’t go backward. I keep a huge part of my life a secret from everyone here in California. I’m not sure the guys would understand, and the girls, well they’ll probably just think I’m crazy because they don’t do it.
“What are you doing today?” Ryan is sweet when he asks, as he walks the plate over to the sink to rinse it before placing it in the rack in the dishwasher.
“Not sure, Maddie wants to do some shopping, but then we should really start packing.”
“For what, where are you girls off to now?”
“We have a photo shoot in Florida this weekend.”
“Just you and Maddie going, not Ansley?”
“Yeah, it’s just us. Ansley decided to step back from all the promotional things. She’s still doing the races but not the extras.”
“Gotcha,” he says, leaning with his back to the counter, arms and feet crossed in front of him.
Ryan stands there watching me but not saying much. It’s small talk and I hate small talk; it’s awkward and makes you feel uncomfortable. I finish loading the dishes, then turn to grab my purse to head out when he stops me.
“Kenna, thank so much for whatever you did last night that you’re not telling me and for cooking this morning. It’s appreciated more than you know.”
“You’re welcome, Ryan. Call me if you need anything. Oh, and Ryan, I’m here if you ever want to talk about whatever is going on in that mind of yours,” I say, just as I open his front door.
“Nah, I’m good, just in a funk right now. It’ll pass.”
I turn, give him a hug and kiss on the cheek, then head to my car without another word. I’m not sure what to say at this point, so I say nothing. Once I buckle in, I sit there staring at him as he turns and walks back inside, shutting the door behind him.