by MC Lee
“What do you mean?” Jack said stiffly. Sean was right. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear anything in Michael Palmer’s defense, but some part of him knew he needed the truth, no matter how painful.
“Ellie came here. To the Center. She’s the one who insisted Michael take you into his care. She must have known something was wrong.”
Jack sucked in a breath.
“Michael begged her to stay. He swore he would do everything in his power to find your father, but he asked her to protect you and herself first. She accepted his offer for you, but she refused to remain behind.”
The tears he hadn’t been able to control rose again, but Jack choked them back down.
“Your uncle offered to turn himself over to Mark Donovan, even though he knew what was in store for him if he did,” Sean continued. “Ellie persuaded him that Donovan didn’t know what she and John were plotting. She was convinced she could go back and get herself and John out of there before Donovan realized what they were up to.” He paused as sorrow tracked across his face. “Turns out she was wrong.”
Jack bit his lip, struggling to keep the tears at bay. “Because of me. Because she went back without me and that alerted Donovan. He should have made her stay. He should have fought harder—”
“Nobody knows that better than your uncle,” Sean cut in softly. “He’s blamed himself ever since.”
“It doesn’t make any of it easier to stomach,” Jack said forcefully. “They’re gone. And I’m still locked up here with a man who can hardly stand to look at me.”
If he had expected Sean to argue, to tell him he was wrong, he was disappointed. “Your relationship is irrelevant to your work,” Sean said flatly. “It will be best if you put it out of your mind until your training is complete.”
Jack turned his head, unwilling to let Sean see how much it hurt to have his feelings summarily dismissed. When he realized that was it, that there would be no excuses, no appeals for understanding, no justifications for his guardian’s actions, Jack closed his eyes and let the pain come. And when he’d acknowledged it and built a wall around it, he pulled in a steadying breath and straightened up resolutely.
“You’re going to need this.” Sean slid an envelope across the table. Jack picked it up, reached inside curiously, and pulled out a plastic card. It was a bank client card with the name John S. Palmer embossed in gold.
“From now on, you’ll find regular deposits made into your account. This card gives you access to your money. For the first few months we’ll talk about what you want to spend it on. But after that you can pretty much do what you want with it.” He arched an eyebrow. “I can have the name changed if you prefer.”
Jack sat down hard, the breath knocked out of him. “No,” he stammered. “I want to use that name. My name.”
“Martin and I have compared notes,” Sean continued. “We both agree Leo can move back to the Center. If that’s something you both still want?”
“It is,” Jack said quickly.
“Good. Why don’t you tell him the news? I believe he’s waiting for you in your suite.”
He turned to leave, but Jack reached out and snagged his sleeve. “Thanks, Sean,” he said. “For everything.”
It might be far from ideal, it might be as much business as personal, but having Sean on his side had saved Jack’s sanity more than once. When all was said and done, family was a complicated thing.
“I’m here for you, kiddo,” Sean said. “You deserve a break. I think I can work a little more R and R into your schedule. Maybe you and Leo can get out more. There’s a movie theater in Walkerton, a couple of decent restaurants too. You should check them out sometime soon.”
“We will,” Jack replied. He didn’t tell Sean that he knew Walkerton was the Center’s town, and that every person working and living there had some connection to the place. Jack knew he’d be under as much surveillance in Walkerton as he was here, despite the appearance of freedom. But he appreciated the thought.
“Go on. Leo’s waiting.”
Jack managed to summon a small smile. He turned to walk out and had almost reached the door when Sean called his name. Jack looked over his shoulder and saw that Sean had something in his hand and was holding it out. “Your guardian wanted you to have this.”
Jack walked back across the room, his curiosity piqued. “What is it?”
“Your mother sent a file when things started to get ugly.” Sean thrust the object into his hand and then pushed past Jack and walked out.
Jack’s heart began to hammer against his chest. He was holding a photograph of himself, barely two years old, sitting between his smiling parents. There was nothing clandestine about this picture. It had been taken openly, a snapshot of a happy couple in an infinitely happier time. Jack ran his finger gently over the surface, outlining their faces, committing them to memory as he had that first photograph.
“We can buy a frame for that if you want.”
Jack’s head came up sharply to find Leo standing in the doorway, looking as though he wasn’t sure whether to come in or not. Jack settled the matter by crossing the floor in three quick strides and pulling Leo into his arms.
He rested his head against Leo’s shoulder, comforted by the familiar form, the unique scent, by strong arms that wrapped around him and held him tightly. He wondered briefly if Leo knew he was the carrot being dangled in front of Jack—the incentive for accepting this life for two more years without protest or complaint.
He raised his head and looked into Leo’s eyes, uncertain how much to tell him. Leo’s gaze was unflinching—and profoundly knowing.
“I don’t care,” he said fiercely. “I don’t care why they’re doing it or what they think they know about us. I don’t care if I’m the punishment or the reward. I’m here. I’m yours.”
In the end Jack didn’t care either. Leo was here. Leo was his.
“I see you’ve got your room back,” Leo murmured against his ear. His warm breath tickled, and Jack squirmed impossibly closer.
“Sean said Martin agreed to you moving back to the Center,” he said, the words muffled against Leo’s sweatshirt.
“You’re kidding? That’s fantastic news.” Leo sounded excited, though his next words made Jack’s heart turn in his chest. “If that’s what you still want.”
Jack raised his head. “Of course it is. You?”
“Jesus, Jack. More than anything in the world.”
Jack closed his eyes briefly, silently relishing Leo’s words.
He felt cold air rush between them when Leo gently eased him back. “Did you get the answers you wanted?”
This time Jack didn’t sidestep the question. “I know as much as I’ll ever know. As much as he’ll ever tell me, anyway.”
“And it’s enough?”
Jack shrugged. It would have to be. He doubted his guardian would ever mention the subject again. He winced when he realized he’d fallen back into the old habit of thinking of Michael Palmer as nothing more than a guardian. He wasn’t sure he’d ever say the man’s real name out loud again, let alone acknowledge their relationship. Even in his most private heart, the man was nothing more to him than a handler, a superior officer who had to be obeyed.
“Did he tell you how far back he’d been plotting against Donovan?”
Jack shook his head. “I didn’t ask.”
His guardian had told him to work it out for himself. Jack had given it plenty of thought and come to his own conclusions. He had tested his theories on Sean, who confirmed some of Jack’s suspicions and remained silent on others, though never denying anything outright.
“Donovan didn’t hack the Center’s system, did he? You let him think he’d broken in, but you controlled the flow of information.”
Sean had shrugged. “He didn’t have the skills to get past our firewalls. But as soon as we saw the nature of the attack, we knew what he was up to.”
“So you were on to him from the beginning?”
“We’ve bee
n on high alert for a very long time. It was only a matter of time before Donovan showed himself.”
“But you knew for sure when he arranged to have my parents’ photograph smuggled into the Center?”
Sean nodded his approval. “He thought he’d bought off one of our staff. Somebody who was once close to your mother. He tested his lies out on her. Fortunately, Louise knew the truth and told us everything. The irony is that we didn’t know Donovan was behind it until he showed his hand.”
“But you let the whole thing play out like a regular assignment! Why didn’t you just pick Donovan and his team up?”
“What team, Jack?” Sean asked. “We didn’t know how Freya and Ryan fit in. We didn’t know who else might be involved. Most importantly, we’ve never been able to source an image of Donovan. We had to be absolutely certain that the man we knew as Dominic Moore really was Mark Donovan.” He gave a rueful shrug. “We had to wait until he made his move and revealed his endgame. We had to let the target come to us.”
“So, you conned me from the very beginning.” It was hard to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “You let me have the photograph, you sent me in even though you knew his play—”
“Think about it, Jack,” Sean said, sounding reasonable instead of angry. “You had to really believe what was happening. You had to be totally convincing.”
“Like Freya,” Jack said. “I believed her, because she thought she was telling the truth. Donovan manipulated Freya, just like you manipulate me. It’s how you’ve always used me in the field.”
“I won’t apologize for getting results,” Sean said firmly. “It’s the way things had to be—”
“But it means I can never trust what you tell me,” Jack cut in. “I’ll never know if you’re playing me in order to influence the target, or supporting me because I’m part of your team.”
“I always support you,” Sean said flatly. “You might see it differently, but everything I do is to keep you safe.”
“Including lying to me?” Jack said.
If the remark hurt, Sean didn’t show it. “I do what I have to. For the mission, for you. Don’t expect that to change.”
“So we don’t really know,” Leo said, bringing Jack back to the present.
Jack shook his head.
“Can you live with that?”
Jack dredged up a wan smile. “Guess I’ll have to.”
“You know I’ll support you. Whatever you want to do. If you can accept it, so can I. If you want to get more information, I’ll be right there beside you.” He paused before finishing his thought in a tense whisper. “If you want to find a way to leave the Center, I’ll do everything I can to help you accomplish that.”
It was an incredibly generous gift, and Jack said so. “And I’ll support you too. Whatever you decide about your future.”
Leo looked confused. “What do you mean?”
Jack shrugged. “I know when you turn eighteen in a few months you’ll have the option of leaving the Center….” He was unable to finish the sentence, knowing that despite years of training, he’d never be able to tell Leo with any conviction that he didn’t mind if he chose to leave.
The expression on Leo’s face was incredulous. “You still don’t know what you mean to me,” he said, shaking his head. “Surely you can’t think I’d want to do anything without you?”
“I can’t leave here until I’m eighteen. My guardian has made that clear. How can you trade your freedom for two more years of this?”
“Jesus, Jack,” Leo said. “Don’t you know I’d do anything, live anywhere, put up with any kind of bullshit to be with you?” He winced and made a face. “That didn’t come out right.”
Jack laughed, a genuine feeling of pure joy coursing through him. “I think they expect you to move back into Martin’s apartment—”
Leo snorted. “I’ll keep a toothbrush there. That’s about all they’re getting.”
Jack smiled. “So, you want to take this back to our place?”
Leo’s grin was filled with wicked promise. “I thought you’d never ask!”
JACK STRETCHED lazily, trying not to dislodge Leo from his relaxed sprawl. He smiled as he looked around his bedroom. Leo’s clothes were scattered far and wide, lying where he’d thrown them in his haste to undress. The room already felt more like home, with Leo’s cheerful mess everywhere he looked.
He turned his head and contemplated the photograph of his parents. It was strange and wonderful to see it propped up on his bedside table, out in the open for everybody to see. He supposed he would eventually get used to seeing it there, but right now it was still too astounding to process.
Leo sighed in contentment and looked up sleepily. “You want to go out for a burger tonight?”
Jack tried to sound nonchalant when he said, “Sure,” but secretly the idea thrilled him. “I have a training session with Evan at six,” he added.
Leo tugged, and Jack slid down the bed until they were facing each other. “That’s not really going to work for me,” Leo said. “Let me make a phone call. I have other plans for you tonight.”
Jack gasped as Leo’s fingers trailed over his hip and then stroked his shaft. “How are you going to persuade Evan to let me off?”
Leo’s fingers tightened, making Jack groan. “Leave that to me. There’s a lot you need to learn if you want to survive another two years in this place.”
Jack thrust forward, relishing the feel of Leo’s callused palm. “Sean said I have to start prepping my next assignment tomorrow.” He closed his eyes with a gusty sigh. The hardness between Leo’s legs pressed against him, and he reached down and wrapped his hand around it, picking up the gentle rhythm Leo had established.
“Tomorrow is a hell of a long way off,” Leo whispered.
Jack relaxed and let it go. Leo was right. Tomorrow would bring its own challenges: Assignments, lessons, training sessions. Instructors who judged, handlers who pushed, a guardian who didn’t seem to care.
But tonight—tonight was all theirs.
More from MC Lee
The Center: Book One
Jack has never known an ordinary life. “The Center,” a shadowy organization with its own hidden agenda, has been his home, his school, and his job. Under the command of a man he knows only as his guardian, Jack has trained relentlessly in order to carry out the Center’s secret missions. In the three years since he turned thirteen, he’s been given more and more complex assignments, rarely questioning the reasons behind each operation. Now, going by the name Jack Carlisle, his orders are to go to Maine and befriend high school track star Leo McCormack.
Jack finds Leo easy to like, and soon the like becomes something more. He knows he shouldn’t act on his attraction—it’s against all the rules. However, Leo wants Jack in his life as much as Jack wants Leo, and soon the two begin a relationship. Jack gets a sweet taste of real life, but when the mission ends the fallout could be disastrous--and not just because Leo’s father is the target of the operation.
Sequel to You Don’t Know Jack
The Center: Book Two
Jack Carlisle has returned to the Center after an assignment designed to push him to the edge of his limits—and beyond. He is given just a few short days to get used to a new identity and a new team. He’s been trained to assume a new identity, but working with a new team is more difficult, especially since it throws him back in the path of Leo McCormack, the boy who stole Jack’s heart and handed it back broken into tiny pieces.
With “Jack Carlisle” dead and “Jack Cross” reborn comes a new mission. Jack Cross and his team are sent undercover to Forbes Academy, an elite boys’ school in rural Connecticut. Here they must protect Adam and Sam North, whose lives are threatened by an unknown source.
Jack’s training never prepared him to deal with the animosity he still feels toward Leo, but he knows the only way to figure out the cause of the danger in time to save Adam and Sam is to work together.
Sequel to If You Knew Jac
k
The Center: Book Three
When Jack finds himself assigned to a new case with Anna Baxter, the agent who made life difficult on his previous mission, he is glad to find Leo McCormack will also be joining them.
They are tasked with getting close to high school student Connor White in order to infiltrate a drug ring being run by his friend, Gregor Slovik. Connor is gay, and Jack is conflicted about just how close to get to his target. With Leo’s help, Jack tries to navigate the pitfalls of their assignment. When Agent Baxter attempts to manipulate the mission to achieve the outcome she wants, Jack is forced to make a risky decision.
Sequel to Like I Know Jack
The Center: Book Four
As a teenage agent for a shadowy organization known as the Center, Jack is used to danger and intrigue. But his newest assignment will push the boundaries of what he’s come to expect. Jack poses as Jack Elliot, an identity assigned to Alex Sutherland after Alex’s family is forced to enter a witness protection program. Something is awry, and the family’s two previous relocations have been compromised. Jack and the Center must determine where the leak is coming from—within the program, or from the Sutherland family itself.
Along with Sean and Instructor Clare Colson, Jack slips into Alex’s life, deliberately putting a target on his back in the hopes of drawing out whoever is betraying the Sutherlands. Matt returns to the team while Martin and Leo provide support, and together they must discover who is revealing the family’s secret identities—before it’s too late for everyone.
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