Yes. She could see the realisation that there was a safety net available dawn on Mac’s face. He was being offered a choice here. They both knew the attraction was there. They could live with it for a limited period of time. Or they could give up resisting it. Either way, it would be temporary. And Mac had the choice. She was giving him control. Not that she should be going down that track but if it was what Mac wanted…
‘The problem,’ Mac growled finally, ‘is resisting it.’
‘Mmm.’ Yes. They were definitely closer. Somehow—imperceptibly—they had moved within kissing range. The pull was simply too powerful to resist.
‘What…um….’ It was hard enough to remember to breathe, let alone form a coherent question. Julia tried again. ‘What do you think we should do about that?’
‘I can’t do a thing,’ Mac groaned. ‘Unless I don’t mind getting fired.’
Julia’s eyes widened. She hadn’t thought about it from that perspective. Maybe she wasn’t giving him a choice after all, just making things worse. ‘You mean there’s something I didn’t see in the contract? About partners being…um…’
‘It’s unwritten,’ Mac admitted. ‘But it’s also unethical.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I’m supposed to be mentoring you. Teaching you. Coercing you into any other kind of relationship would be seen as an abuse of power.’
‘Oh…’ Julia pursed her lips thoughtfully. ‘What if the coercion came from the less powerful side of the equation?’
Mac blinked slowly on a sigh. ‘It would still be unethical.’
‘Because it would interfere with doing our job?’
‘In a nutshell. Yes. It’s doing that already, isn’t it? Look at what happened today. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep up the fight. It’s killing me.’
‘Maybe you don’t have to,’ Julia said very softly. Whatever part of her head might have spent a considerable amount of time warning her not to go down this track was curiously silent. Gagged, probably, but it wouldn’t have made any difference if it had been audible. She wanted this way too much. More than she’d ever wanted anything. ‘What if it didn’t interfere with our work? If it was something kept strictly to out-of-work hours that nobody else knew about?’
Mac’s eyes were drifting closed again as though his lids had become too heavy. Was he stepping into fantasy or praying for strength? Suddenly, they snapped open.
‘It could work.’ He spoke as softly as Julia had. ‘If we really wanted to make it work. What do you want, Jules?’
‘The same as you, I hope.’
Their eye contact had locked. They were breathing exactly the same air. So close now they could feel each other’s body warmth.
‘Really?’ Mac’s voice had a seductive edge Julia had never heard before. A low, silky rumble that made her toes curl. ‘Do you know what that is?’
Julia could feel a tiny smile playing with her lips but she feigned ignorance because she wanted to hear him say it.
‘No. What do you want, Mac?’
His response was a sigh of breath against her lips as he finally closed the last distance between them.
‘You. I want you.’
CHAPTER SIX
‘WHY is it so dark in here?’
Julia peeled away from Mac’s kiss before he’d had the chance to do anything more than touch her lips with his own. She dived for the light switch in the kitchen area and filled the room with a neon glare that was almost as much of a wrench as losing that touch had been.
Angus bowled into the kitchen part of the mess. ‘Joe’s fiddling with that blessed helicopter again. He said he didn’t want to come inside because there was something weird going on and here you guys are, standing around in the dark. What gives?’
Mac shrugged, moving back to where he’d left his journal on the table. This was crazy, thinking they could have some kind of affair and keep it secret from their colleagues.
‘I was making a coffee,’ Julia said in a surprisingly steady voice. ‘Want one?’
Angus swung his head from Mac’s direction to stare at Julia. ‘Something’s up. Joe’s right. There’s a weird vibe. And you look…’
‘Like hell, I expect. It’s been a long day.’ Julia seemed intent on pressing the switch on the electric jug. ‘Can’t wait to get home. How ’bout you, Mac?’
‘Ditto.’ Suddenly, Mac was enjoying the undercurrent between them. The totally private innuendo. Maybe this was crazy but trying to work with Julia for the next ten weeks or so and not doing anything about the way he was feeling would make him crazy.
There was no chance of locking anything away now. The lock was gone. Melted by those tears that had shown Mac a whole new side to this astonishing woman.
An unexpectedly vulnerable side.
Maybe it was just a physical thing for her but she wanted him. Out of all the men on this station who would cheerfully kill to be fancied by Julia Bennett, she was picking him.
They were both single, consenting adults so why not?
Mac had forgotten what it was like to feel this level of attraction. What sex could be like when there was more to it than simply slaking lust.
No. He sucked in a breath. He’d never felt like this. He remembered their last kiss only too well and just that tiny brush of contact they’d just had had been even more electric. Sex with Julia would be totally new territory.
Dangerous, exciting, totally irresistible territory.
And maybe they could keep it a secret. Angus knew there was something up but he was frowning. He couldn’t make sense of whatever he was picking up.
‘The last job wasn’t much fun,’ Mac told him calmly. ‘Some low-life pulled a knife on Jules.’
‘Hells bells! Are you OK?’
‘I’m fine.’ Julia smiled at Angus. ‘It was entirely my own fault and Mac told me off. We’re sorted. I’ll have to let Joe know it’s safe to come inside.’
‘If you’re sure.’ Angus seemed to have forgotten Mac. He had stepped closer to Julia and was eyeing her with concern. ‘You…um…haven’t been crying, have you?’
‘As if!’ Julia snorted. ‘Try and spread that kind of rumour and you’re dead meat, Gus.’
Angus grinned and visibly relaxed. ‘As long as you’re OK. This job throws some curly ones at us sometimes, doesn’t it?’
‘Mmm.’ Julia looked up from spooning coffee to catch Mac’s gaze. ‘It sure does. Nothing we can’t cope with, though, eh, Mac?’
‘No.’ Mac held her gaze and it felt like a kind of pact. They could make this work.
It would be easy. Fun. More than fun. He was being given an opportunity he would never have again. And if he didn’t go along with the affair Julia clearly wanted, he’d be in trouble. He knew only too well how determined she could be to get what she wanted. Look at today’s job when she wasn’t going to be left behind at a safe point. Working with her would be hell if he tried to back out now so maybe he should just give in gracefully and enjoy the ride.
A half-smile was playing around his lips and he was only half listening to the conversation behind him.
‘Dale should be here any minute,’ Angus was saying. ‘You can get home a bit early if you want. Any plans for tonight?’
‘Maybe.’ Julia sounded perfectly innocent. ‘I’m waiting to see if something comes up.’
Incredulous laughter almost broke from Mac. He managed to strangle it and turn the sound into a cough. Fortunately, Dale arrived on station at precisely the same moment.
They were free to go where they liked and start their time away from work. Mac caught up with Julia as she walked to the car park.
‘What comes up?’ he muttered. ‘You like playing with fire, don’t you?’
‘I was just testing.’ Julia gave him that mischievous grin he was coming to love. ‘It worked, didn’t it? Angus could tell something was going on and now he just thinks you’re mean and I’m a girl.’
She wasn’t a girl. She was a woman. The sexiest, most des
irable woman in the world. No, there was no going back now. No chance that Mac could turn away from the path he’d stepped onto when he’d confessed his attraction.
‘I can be mean,’ Mac growled. ‘I probably will be, if we don’t get the hell out of here to some place we can stop pretending we don’t want to rip each other’s clothes off.’
He watched the way Julia licked her lips as though they were suddenly dry.
‘Your place or mine?’
Julia’s place was the obvious choice.
Private. Discreet.
Mac shared an inner-city apartment with Angus and even though they worked opposing shifts and only saw each other on days off, it felt far too close to work and the possibility of being discovered.
That this was going to be a secret liaison added a dimension to both the connection and the excitement and it seemed more than enough to tip Julia’s anticipation into nervousness. Or maybe it was because every time she glanced in her rear-view mirror she could see the big, dark shape of Mac’s vehicle shadowing hers.
The intention of this journey resonated in every cell of her body. It became harder to concentrate. Hard to take a deep enough breath. By the time she pulled to a halt beside the overgrown hedge surrounding her rented cottage, Julia had decided she must be crazy.
She had to work with this man. What if this was a disaster? If he found her a disappointment in comparison to that mystery blonde? If someone at work did find out and she was sent home in disgrace? Was the risk really worth it?
Then Mac was beside her and she was fumbling with the key to the cottage and his hand closed over hers and just held it.
Calming her. The way his solid strength always calmed any nerves she might have when facing a job. Julia took the first deep breath she had managed in quite some time. Felt his presence and automatically found courage again. Looked up and saw understanding in Mac’s eyes. Heard the same kind of unspoken conversation they had become so adept at.
We don’t have to do this.
I know.
We won’t, if you don’t want to.
I do. I want to. Do you?
You know I do.
Nervousness kicked back into anticipation. Awareness of Mac’s presence ignited into a desire so fierce Julia didn’t notice that she rose to stand on tiptoe to meet Mac’s lips before his head had completed its dip.
A soft kiss.
A promise.
And then Mac took the key from her hand and unlocked the door.
Something changed the moment the front door of the cottage closed behind them.
Whatever it was between them was unleashed and free to roam.
The heat and urgency in Mac’s gaze sent a tremor down Julia’s spine. The tiny hallway of her house made him seem so much bigger. His hair was dark and tousled and his eyes darker than she’d ever seen them and so intent there was no hint of a smile on his face. It made him look…dangerous.
This was dangerous.
Never mind any complications with work. She could get hurt. Badly. She could find that any chance of the future she hoped for was destroyed because she’d never find anyone who could make her feel like this again. That was terrifying—the thought that she might be sacrificing future happiness for something that could only be temporary. If it was—and she just knew it would be—totally amazing, it was only going to last a matter of weeks. A brief interlude in her life.
But she’d known it would be dangerous and facing danger—embracing it, even—was part of who she was.
She could still say no. For a heartbeat, as they stood there, Julia knew instinctively that this was her last opportunity to back out. That Mac would respect that decision.
But then he reached out and touched her face. A soft brush of fingertips on her forehead that trickled down to end up on her lips, and the touch was so gentle, so caring, that Julia knew she was in real trouble here.
Past the point of no return.
Falling in love, with nothing to hang onto to try and break that fall, and even if there had been, she wouldn’t be able to summon the willpower to save herself. She felt her eyes drift shut and her head tip back as Mac’s lips replaced his fingers, softly kissing her lips and then the corner of her mouth. Her jawbone and then the side of her neck where her pulse throbbed and then skipped.
Yes. It was way too late to save herself.
She looked…perfect.
The last piece of clothing had been peeled away and Julia was small and golden in the soft light of her bedside lamp, the tan of an antipodean summer still glowing over her entire body.
His hands felt like they might be rough against the silk of her skin. For the first time Mac felt big and…clumsy, almost. Yet every touch…every kiss drew a response that made him feel nothing short of amazing.
She seemed to know exactly where to touch him. The right words or sounds to make that had him on the brink of losing control utterly, again and again. Dear God—she wanted him. As much as he wanted her.
But he had to hang on. To make this as good as it possibly could be. He had to be amazing because it was the only thing good enough for this woman. And he could be, because this was time away from reality. The past didn’t exist and didn’t need to damage what they had. What had Julia said? This had a ‘use-by’ date. Yes. It was a blink in a lifetime but it had the potential to give them both a memory they could treasure. Something too good to forget.
Ever.
So he took his time. Milking every sense. Revelling in the sounds of her sighs of pleasure or whimpers of desire. The sight of that smooth, golden skin and what he could read in her eyes. The smell of her hair and her skin and her desire. The taste and the astonishing feel of every part of her body. Yes. He took more time than he ever had. He slowed things down until Julia was begging. For him.
Even then, he tried to be gentle. To ease himself into her delicious, tight warmth but she cried out his name and Mac was lost.
He buried himself in paradise and knew he was taking her with him with every stroke.
Her cry of ecstasy could have come from his own soul. Nothing had ever been this good.
Nothing else ever could be.
How amazing—that something so good could get even better.
Mac couldn’t get enough of it. Couldn’t get enough of Julia Bennett.
With the frustration of trying to fight the attraction gone, life was just about perfect.
He got to spend every minute of every working day with Julia. The way he had ever since she’d arrived. Except that it was nothing like it had been.
Funnily enough, it was easy to keep up the pretence that nothing had changed. When they were on a job and dealing with patients they were both ultimately professional. On station, the banter might have had a new edge and the way they stole glances at each other might be more significant but nobody seemed to notice. Not even Joe, who spent more time with them than anyone else.
Angus didn’t guess but why would he? Mac never spent a whole night away from the apartment so his breakfast dishes still littered the bench and the pile of dirty socks grew in the laundry.
But even with all those working hours and those glorious, stolen evenings, it wasn’t enough.
‘What’s wrong with you?’ Mac asked himself, more than once. ‘You’ve got the perfect woman with no strings attached. No excuse not to be the happiest man on earth.’
What else did he want?
A clock that wasn’t ticking somewhere in the background, maybe, counting down the weeks and days they had left.
A whole night with Julia, perhaps, so he could hold her in his arms while she slept. Fall asleep himself knowing that when he woke, she would still be there beside him.
Strings?
Possibly. That way, he could eliminate the niggle in the back of his head that kept pace with the growth of this relationship. The fear that his bed, his job—his life—might feel too empty when she had gone home.
Not that he was going to think about that. Not yet. If it was
formed into coherent thought or, worse, words, there would be no escape. It would change things. And something told him that Julia wouldn’t like it and, therefore, it carried the risk of finishing this prematurely. Mac didn’t want it to finish. Not while it was this good.
He’d known from the point of recognising his attraction that the potential was there to get in too deep and end up being hurt. It was far too late to do anything about it now and he’d been there before. He could take comfort from the knowledge that he could survive. It was simply a bridge he had no intention of crossing before he was obliged to. There was an element of hope encased in denial. If things continued to get better, maybe Julia wouldn’t want to let it go either.
It was possible to float through life.
What truly amazed Julia, however, was that it was also possible to have someone else occupying what seemed like every bit of space in your head and heart and soul. Mac was the first thing she thought of when she woke in the mornings and the last thing on her mind before she drifted off to sleep at night and yet she still had room for everything that used to be important as well. She discovered that the presence of someone you were so much in love with could seep into everything else and make it better.
Like work.
Within the first few days of that amazing step into a relationship, Green Watch was dispatched to a hiker who had fallen and broken her leg badly in hilly, difficult terrain. A mountain search and rescue team had located the woman but they had no doctor available and needed assistance.
The flight had taken them over Loch Ness.
‘Watch out for the monster,’ Joe said with a chuckle. ‘She’s down there somewhere.’
‘I see her.’ Julia grinned. ‘Look, Mac—three o’clock.’
He looked and laughed. ‘That’s the concrete version beside the museum.’
‘You should take Jules to see it,’ Joe suggested. ‘On your next day off.’
‘I might just do that.’ The tone was offhand. The look Julia received was anything but. ‘How far are we from target, Joe?’
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