“Of course I am,” she said with certainty.
“I suppose all of my life I’ve been so focused on making a living that I haven’t even lived.” She smiled at thoughts of Terrance. “And Terrance does make me feel like I’m living. Like I’m alive.” Sasha exhaled and continued smiling.
“Exactly. The hell with living a little, girl, live a lot. A whole lot. And if being a working woman is that dang serious for you,” Casey said, “then just get another job.” She dug into the cup of pretzel bites Sasha was holding and popped another pretzel into her mouth. “But if I were you, I wouldn’t worry about it. You’ve got it made.”
Sasha twisted her lips. “I suppose you’re right,” she agreed. “We both do. You even more so than me because you’re married to your boo. So that takes me back to my original question to you. Why do you work at the firm? It’s only part-time. Half days for just three days out of the week. I’m not throwing shade, but I can’t imagine your weekly paycheck puts any kind of dent in y’all’s mortgage.”
Casey shrugged. “Unlike you, I knew better than to commit myself to a full-time job. I knew Eric would be taking me on surprise outings and last minute get-aways, wanting me to spend the afternoon with him just because it was Tuesday. Working only part-time gave me more freedom to do those things.” She nodded to Sasha.
“Well, why didn’t you share all this with me beforehand?”
“Don’t you even try to go there with me,” Casey said. “For one, you were already working the job when I met you, which was before you met Terrance. Two, I didn’t know you were going to go back to the boy’s house and put it on him the first night you met him and then move in with him on the second night.” Casey laughed.
Sasha had to laugh at that one herself.
“Besides, you were the one who was calling in to work at least once a week. That doesn’t have anything to do with me.” She shook her head. “Did you seriously think that was going to fly with the position you are in at the firm? Those silver spoon bastards you work for don’t even know how to use a landline to answer their own goddamn office phones.”
“Was in,” Sasha corrected Casey sadly.
“Huh?”
“The position I was in at the firm.”
“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Casey apologized.
“That’s okay,” Sasha said. “But you still didn’t answer my question.”
Sasha was going to get her answer if it was the last thing she did. Sasha had been curious for some time as to why Casey worked at the firm. She had concluded on her own that maybe Casey just liked having something to do and having something to call her own.
Sasha understood that now more than ever. Even though Terrance never allowed her to spend her money on him, or even on herself if he was around, she liked the feeling of independence having her own gave her. Even though she was taking less and less action these days toward reaching the goals that had brought her to Atlanta in the first place, Sasha had been storing her coins in the business account she’d started. At one of the seminars she’d gone to, the instructor had suggested registering a company so that they could at least file self-employment “doing business as.” This would begin to age the company; show the company has been in business for some time. So that’s just what Sasha did.
Initially, she’d only registered the name, She By Sasha, but then decided to go ahead and incorporate the company. While the name Norman had offered, Wellington Vogue Boutiques, had a nice ring to it, she’d decided to stick with her original business name. Registering her company allowed her to set up a business bank account, also per the instructor’s advice. Sasha was not going to have to get ready, she was going to be ready.
Working at the firm had at least made Sasha feel as though to some degree she was still working toward her ultimate fashion goals, even though fashion had been the furthest thing from her mind thanks to her whirlwind romance with Terrance. But back to Casey: Eric had put a ring on it. What more security did Casey need, for Christ’s sake?
“And why didn’t they fire you, too?” Sasha asked on second thought. “Most of the time if I was out of the office in Europe or something, you were right alongside me.”
A haughty look glowed across Casey’s face. “Let’s just say I’m a true asset to the company.” Casey giggled like she had the biggest secret in the world that she was just dying to tell.
Well, lucky for her, Sasha wanted to hear it. “Naw, bitch, enough of this. Ever since I’ve known you and Paris, y’all two act like there is some secret, elite world you all live in. Like there is some golden ticket one has to have in order to enter it.” Sasha leaned in close to Casey’s ear. “I let my man eat me out in front of you. Hell, I watched your man eat you out. That’s got to get me at least a one-day pass.”
“Shhh.” Casey put her index finger on her lips and looked around the mall to make sure they hadn’t caught anybody’s attention. “I thought what happens in Europe stays in Europe. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
That had been what Sasha wanted. And she’d appreciated the fact that Casey hadn’t mentioned that night at the Concourse penthouse suite. Eric hadn’t mentioned it, either, not even in one of his drunken states. In the moment of pleasure the couples each shared with their mates, it had been exciting to Sasha. She never thought for once she’d be the type of girl to participate in voyeuristic sex. But she had to admit that it had been exhilarating. Granted, once the climax had been reached and the liquor had worn off, there was a shadow of embarrassment. She and Casey now shared a connection, a bond of some sort. That had to count for something. That had to get her at least a sneak peek of what was going on inside that secluded little world of Casey’s.
“It is what I wanted,” Sasha said. “And I appreciate your discretion about that night, but I’m tired of feeling like the outsider, like everybody thinks I’m some stuck-up goody two-shoes who doesn’t know how to live life.”
“Well, Sasha, you kinda have to admit that’s exactly who you were about six months ago.” Casey laughed.
“It’s not funny and I’m not joking,” Sasha said. “I’m going crazy here. I don’t even know who I am anymore sometimes.” Sasha’s eyes watered. She was so frustrated with the turn her life was taking. She didn’t feel like she was in control of her destiny anymore.
“Just calm down,” Casey said. “Come sit down.” Casey led Sasha to the nearest bench and the two sat. She took Sasha’s hands into hers. “I can trust you, can’t I, Sasha?”
Sasha looked into Casey’s eyes. “Are you really asking me that? For God’s sake, I’m the same girl who back in France—”
“That doesn’t mean anything to me,” Casey said, cutting Sasha off. “Do you know how many other girls, couples, Eric and I have done that same thing with? And trust me, sweetheart, it’s gone to much higher levels than what we experienced. But that doesn’t mean I trust them hoes. Hell, some of them have not only watched Eric eat my pussy, but they’ve done it, too. Then they try to take my man behind my back, so do you think sex or sharing a sexual experience in any form or fashion equals trust?”
Sasha just sat there not knowing whether to feel shocked, surprised, disgusted, or what. Sasha had seen some subtle signs and had speculations about how Casey and Eric got down, but she never allowed herself to fully realize it in her mind. Thinking things in her head was one thing, but actually hearing the truth come out of the horse’s mouth was a different animal, so to speak, altogether.
“Do you?” Casey asked, squeezing Sasha’s hands. “Do you think that all equals trust? It’s not trust just because someone keeps a secret, especially if somehow a couple truths about themselves will be revealed as well.”
Sasha looked down at their joined hands as Casey’s began to tremble. She looked up at Casey, who was clearly on the verge of crying.
“Why? Why do you do it, Casey?” Sasha asked.
“Because it’s what Eric likes. It works for us, for our marriage. I mean. Sasha, our men are going to cheat, so if I get
the power to pick out who he cheats with, then it’s almost like not cheating at all, since I know about it.”
“Casey, that is so twisted that I don’t even think you believe it,” Sasha said. She turned away.
“There are many things you start to believe as a basketball wife . . . if you want to stay one, that is.”
Sasha didn’t reply to Casey’s statement. Casey was speaking for herself on that one. Sasha refused to believe that any woman would subject herself to that lifestyle or treatment just to maintain a certain standard of living. Sasha had met other basketball wives. Some of them were businesswomen running multimillion-dollar corporations. She was certain they would beg to differ. Sasha chalked Casey’s statement up as just another case of misery loves company. She refused to entertain the comment.
“So, the job at the firm?” Sasha, once again, went back to the question that had started it all.
“My job at the firm?” Casey said. “Let’s just say it’s a win-win for all three of us.”
“Three?” Casey was losing Sasha.
“The company, Eric’s club, and of course Eric’s and my marriage.”
Wheels were just a-turning in Sasha’s head, so much so that she was starting to get dizzy. Casey decided to make it a little easier on Sasha by clarifying it all for her.
“For show, business deals are made on the golf course. Power closes the deal. Real business deals are made with sex. Money closes the deal. For Eric and me, when it comes to the club, it’s all about business. The firm, its partners, its clientele, is good for the club’s business. The club is good for the firm’s business. When it comes to my marriage, let’s just say the firm is a nice feeding ground. So Eric and I are definitely kill two birds with one stone, both business and pleasure.”
Sasha processed what Casey was saying. “So the firm is kind of like a playground for the games you and Eric play?”
“We like to play on the swings, Sasha. We’re swingers,” Casey came right out and said. “Most of our playmates I find at the firm.” Casey looked to Sasha. “Now you know why my boss really won’t fire me.” She winked.
“Casey, I’m so sorry,” Sasha said, putting her hand on Casey’s shoulder.
“Sorry? For what?”
“That you feel you have to do this kind of thing just to keep—”
“Whoa, hold up. I don’t have to do this. I want to.”
“Do you really?” Sasha asked sincerely.
Casey twisted her body around so that she was turned directly toward Sasha. “Back in Europe, did I look like I was being forced to do anything I didn’t want to do?”
Sasha allowed moments of that evening to skip about her mind. Casey had appeared to be enjoying every moment of that evening. It had been like she’d been on a stage performing. “No, but that night some other woman wasn’t screwing your man. I don’t care what you say, it can’t be easy to sit back and watch your husband get intimate with another woman.”
“It is when he has to watch you get intimate with another man.”
This was too much for a Midwest girl like Sasha. “I can’t.” Sasha shook her head and put her hand up.
“Then you shouldn’t have asked,” Casey said. “Not that you hadn’t already put two and two together in the first place.” She let out a “psst.”
“What?” Sasha said. “I had no idea . . .” Sasha allowed her own words to trail off before she could finish the lie. “Okay, so maybe there were signs, but I—”
“Just swept it up under the rug because you couldn’t fathom that a girl like me would be involved in such a lifestyle.”
“Well, yeah, I guess,” Sasha admitted. “Maybe Paris, but not you.” Realizing the words that had fallen out of her mouth, Sasha looked up to face Casey. “Wait, I didn’t mean it like that.”
Casey put her hand up to silence Sasha. “No worries, I’m not going to go back and tell Paris that you think she’s some kind of horny freak,” Casey said. “Even though she is.” Casey and Sasha both burst out laughing. Casey pointed at Sasha. “Now don’t you go running back telling her I said that.”
Sasha shooed her hand. “Oh, girl, please. You know I don’t get down like that.”
“Yeah, I know,” Casey said. “That’s why I trust you.”
“You trust Paris, too, so does that mean she knows about, you know, you and Eric’s lifestyle?”
Casey nodded. “Oh, she knows all right.”
“Oh, Lord,” Sasha said. “I won’t even delve into that by asking any questions.”
Casey looked at Sasha seriously. “And you’d be smart not to.” Realizing she’d just changed the mood with such seriousness, Casey jumped up off the bench. “Come on, we have some shopping to do. Come pick out something nice.” Casey pulled Sasha up by the arm. “And it’s on me, considering you don’t have a job and all.”
“Screw you,” Sasha said playfully, rolling her eyes as she stood.
“I’m just joking,” Casey said. “Besides, consider it my payback for making sure Eric didn’t drink and drive last night.”
“Huh?” Sasha asked, confused.
“Oh, yeah, Eric told me that you insisted he stay at you and Terrance’s last night after he and your boy had one too many.”
Sasha opened her mouth, but no words came out. She had to think for a minute. Last night she’d definitely seen Eric over at the house, but she’d also seen him leave their house. And from what she could tell, he was pretty sober. Sasha had insisted he stay for dinner, but he declined, stating the he had dinner plans. Obviously those plans had not been with Casey. Now here Sasha stood between a rock and a hard place.
If the tables were turned, Sasha would have definitely wanted Casey to tell her the truth of the matter. But then again, Casey and Eric had a wayyyy different kind of relationship than Sasha and Terrance’s. Usually when a man lied to a woman regarding his whereabouts, he was cheating. But Eric and Casey were swingers. Could swingers technically cheat on each other?
“What’s the matter? You okay?” Casey asked Sasha, realizing she seemed a bit out of it.
“Yeah, I’m good,” Sasha said, deciding just to keep it all to herself.
“Good, then let’s go. Anything you want, it’s on me.”
With Casey standing there all cheerful and happy, Sasha just couldn’t take out a pin and pop her happy balloon. But neither could she allow Casey to walk around clueless, either. Casey had just expressed how much she trusted Sasha. Within not even five minutes passing, could Sasha really let her down like that?
“Casey, hold up a minute,” Sasha said, somberly and hesitantly.
“What it is?” Casey asked, concerned.
“Eric, didn’t, uh, stay at our place last night,” Sasha said, then braced herself for whatever type of emotion Casey was going to let loose. It was a known fact among females that there were two things that could happen if one friend told the other friend she thought her mate was cheating on her. One thing was that the woman got pissed off at the man, told him the information she had on him and whom she’d gotten it from. More than likely she’d end up staying with him anyway, causing pure awkwardness when all three were all around one another. And of course from that point on the cheating mate would accuse the ratting best friend of trying to break them up.
The second thing that could happen was that the girlfriend who had the cheating mate could go into denial and end up getting mad at the friend who spilled the beans. What made this situation all the more challenging for Sasha was that Eric and Terrance were best friends. Anything Sasha said or did in this moment could affect the two men’s relationship . . . and careers, seeing they had to have a relationship on and off the court. The world saw firsthand how that worked out for Shaq and Kobe.
All of a sudden Sasha was full of regret. She wished she could take her words back, but they’d already escaped her lips and made their way to Casey’s ears. Well, perhaps not the latter.
“What did you say?” Casey asked, having stopped walking and turned
to face Sasha.
This was the moment of second chances for Sasha. She could continue on with the truth, or lie by omission.
“I, uhh . . .” Sasha was still undecided.
“Come on. Someone could be snatching up the last perfect dress for you in your size,” Casey said.
The two friends stood there staring at each other. Their eyes had a silent conversation. Casey’s eyes pleaded with Sasha not to repeat her words. They were better left unspoken. The truth might have been way more painful than a lie. Casey’s eyes begged Sasha to allow her to live in the fairy tale she’d convinced herself she was living in.
Sasha, being the friend she was, obliged Casey. “Yeah, we wouldn’t want that to happen, now would we? Let’s go get that perfect dress.”
Sasha smiled. Casey smiled. Casey quickly turned and headed into a store, her smile fading quicker than she’s painted it on. Sasha’s smile faded just as quickly after Casey had turned away.
It looked like both women had something more in common after all. They both were great pretenders. But for Sasha, whether she liked it or not, things were about to get real.
Chapter 19
“Dear, you should go to bed now.”
Sasha jerked her head up at the sound of Miss Hart’s voice. She looked around the room, becoming familiar with her surroundings. “Huh, what?” She wiped the sides of her mouth, realizing she was in the great room on the couch.
“I said, you should go on up to bed. It’s late. That couch can’t be comfortable.”
Sasha sat up on the couch and gathered her bearings. “What time is it?”
With a look of pity, Miss Hart replied, “Late. Go on to bed now.”
Sasha read between the lines of the housekeeper’s words. She looked over at the clock hanging on the wall. Miss Hart’s unspoken words penetrated Sasha’s heart. It was late, or early, however one looked at it. She should just go up to bed, because waiting on that couch clearly wasn’t bringing Terrance home.
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