The most important things in my bag relate to sleep – which I do very badly. I absolutely insist on earplugs, and I always carry multiple eye masks. The most important piece of embed kit is a very thin inflatable mattress. An American soldier gave me an excellent one, which I still use. Tom Coghlan
Everyone has their own tricks for helping themselves to nod off. As a lifelong insomniac, these are the ones I have picked up over time, though I often find a glass of red wine helps too.
• Routine – stick to a pattern before you go to bed. Always read, or always have a bath, or always listen to a certain song, or always delete unwanted e-mails in your inbox. Whatever it is, find one that works for you and stick to it. Monique Nagelkerke told her winning formula: ‘Have one stiff drink, and watch re-runs of Grey’s Anatomy every night. Guaranteed to make you fall asleep.’
• Don’t smoke or eat right before you go to bed. You might find it relaxing, but it will actually be waking up your body.
• Avoid caffeine or chocolate late at night. Resist, resist.
• Eat bran or wholewheat-based cereal with milk about an hour before you go to bed. There are elements of the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin in both the grains and the milk, which will help shut your eyes.
• Try to get some sunshine during the day; then, when it is dark, your body will know it is time to sleep.
• Have a very dull but worthy book to read in bed, and force yourself to read that rather than a page-turner.
• Avoid using your computer or watching television while in bed.
• If you wake up, don’t move or turn on the light – just lie and wait until you can get back to sleep.
• Control your breathing and slow it down to sleeping pace.
• Let your mind move out of the present to a safe place.
• Concentrate on relaxing your muscles, moving from the toes all the way up to your jaw (see Muscle exercises).
• Don’t count the hours until you have to get up. Try not to look at your clock or watch.
• Don’t worry about not sleeping. Even lying still and quiet with your eyes closed is restful if not healing.
Samantha Bolton tells me: ‘Sex and a spliff works for many. But deep, calm breathing and making sure you are not sleeping in the same tent as a smelly, snoring logistician or cameraman really helps. Lock doors and push furniture around as need be to feel extra safe. Try to think of somewhere peaceful on a beach. If mentally exhausted, make sure you are also physically dead and then the body takes over.’
SIGNS OF STRESS
/STRESS RELIEF
Your natural fight or flight response fills your body with chemicals that will tire you out if left unattended. Exercise and sex help, as do reading and other relaxing hobbies, but if they are not possible, it is worth looking at a few other types of relaxation. Samantha Bolton recommends sharing jokes, war stories and funny childhood experiences. She also says: ‘If being bombed and under severe stress with nowhere to move, talk about the perfect meal you will have when you get out. Imagine what family or others are doing at that particular moment. Pray to God and promise never to get yourself in that situation again: promise to go to church and be good, just as long as He gives you just one more break until the next time…’
Breathing exercises
Find a calm, quiet place. If this isn’t possible, turn on some calming music to block out the distracting noise.
• Sit or lie comfortably. Put one hand on your stomach and the other on your chest.
• Inhaling through your nose, take a long, deep breath that feels as if it is coming from your stomach, counting slowly to six as you do so. You should feel the hand on your stomach moving the most.
• Breathe out through your mouth, again counting slowly to six.
• Continue breathing in this way and you will find that the oxygen relieves stress and helps settle your mind. Simply concentrating on your breathing will rest your brain for a minute. It is a type of meditation.
Once you have learnt this basic technique, you can play around. For example, lie down with a book on your stomach and watch it rise up and down; breathe through one nostril, then the other; hold your breath, keeping the nostrils shut with your fingers, and count to six before breathing out again. Use your imagination to think of other ways to keep the exercise interesting. Mary O’Shea tells me that her stress antidote is to recite The Wasteland.
Muscle exercises
Lie down in a comfortable position and think your way through your body from toes to head or vice versa, systematically tensing and then relaxing your muscles. Hold each muscle tense for around eight seconds before letting go.
This exercise will also help you to learn what your muscles feel like when they are tense. This means that when you feel the signs you can take a moment to relax.
Meditation
I am useless at meditation, but many close friends and colleagues swear by it. Some of them have two kids and two jobs, yet they still manage to find half an hour a day for themselves. It’s just a question of making it a priority, they tell me. They say they have their best ideas after their mind has been cleared by meditation.
Meditation is not about staring into the middle distance: it is an intense form of concentration on something that would normally pass you by. You are aiming for a mind-full-ness rather than an empty mind. It’s all about finding something peaceful and positive to concentrate on. You don’t even have to be still.
• Go for a walk and concentrate on your breathing, the wind and smells and sights. Be aware of each step.
• When you eat turn off the television and put down the book; try to focus your attention on the meal and how each bite feels inside your mouth.
• Try thinking your way up or down your body, considering each individual part and how it feels.
• For more intense meditation, turn off all distractions, put a ‘Do not disturb’ sign on your door and find a comfortable position.
• Pick something to concentrate on, whether it is your breath, a scene in your mind or a word or phrase. Close your eyes and keep your mind on your chosen thing for as long as you can.
• If your mind drifts off, don’t worry – just bring it back to your focus and carry on.
Never try to use a dangerous trip as a chance to diet. Eat. You will lose weight anyway, believe me. Dr Carl Hallam
11/ Surviving with and Without Weapons
I don’t have a weapon. I just carry a camera. Leith Mushtaq
In many parts of the world you can buy small arms along with your bread at the market. I remember taking one BBC reporter to the Basra black market, where, for $100, he ‘bought’ a tank that had surrendered during the invasion. ‘It’s in full working order,’ he told me proudly. I didn’t tell him that every reporter who came through went down to the market and posed for the same snapshot – ‘Me and My Tank’. The tale was worth the $100 alone. The old man to whom the tank ‘belonged’ had a toothless grin as big as his wallet as he waved off his buyers and waxed the barrel of his gun for another day.
There is little doubt that carrying a weapon can give you more confidence in a dangerous world – especially if you know how to use it.
Patrick Hennessey, a former British army officer, says: ‘Survival in a war zone is obviously a little different for a soldier than it is for a civilian. I got a taste of that difference when I returned to Helmand a few months after finishing my five years’ service with the British Army as an infantry officer and found myself ambushed on patrol, only this time as a freelance journalist embedded with my former comrades. The adrenalin rush was the same, as was the heightened sense of awareness, the noise and noticing the absurd details (this time a bright pink rose that minutes earlier I had been given by a local farmer and which had fallen into the muddy water at the bottom of the ditch into which we’d jumped for cover). One thing, however, was worryingly different, and that was having a camera in my hands instead of a rifle. It was the most naked and useless I’v
e felt in a long time.’
Some people don’t have a choice in whether or not they should carry a weapon ‘just in case’. Most NGOs, medical personnel and others working or visiting a highly armed society won’t be allowed one, and won’t want to touch one.
Dr Carl Hallam, who works for MSF, told me: ‘Having been on both sides of a gun, I advise never to underestimate the confidence and swagger it gives if you are the one with the weapon. If you don’t have a gun, you are a very small guy compared to the one who does. As aid workers, we are always unarmed. Therefore it’s difficult for most to imagine the difference between being unarmed and armed.’
Producer Shelley Thakral says: ‘At the BBC we don’t have weapons, and of course it’s better that way. As a journalist working in a dangerous place, you change the job dynamic the moment you start arming yourself.’
As well as the risks to your independence, just having a gun on your person can be a dangerous thing. In a draw, the one with most experience is going to win.
My colleague Jane Dutton, who lives in South Africa, told me: ‘My dad lent me a small handgun after a family friend was shot and another friend of ours was broken into, but I gave it back after a week. I knew it would get used if I found someone breaking into my house. I was angry and scared enough. But nine times out of 10 the criminal will end up using your handgun against you. I didn’t want that risk.’
Warning: If you use a weapon in a war zone, it can change your legal status to ‘mercenary’ under the Geneva Convention (see Medics) – not a particularly good idea if you are captured.
Chris Cobb-Smith, who has contributed to earlier parts of this book, is my security expert. I asked him for advice on the subject of guns, and for a few basic instructions on how to work a weapon if you really need to use one.
/IS THE SAFETY ON?
Few subjects cause as much controversy as that of firearms. However, it is unavoidable, an ever-present fact of life, and encountered continually in the high-risk regions so much in the news today.
For some, carrying a firearm is as natural as carrying a mobile phone, almost a natural extension of the arm – a comforting and continually present friend. For others they are objects of bewilderment and revulsion: ‘Why on earth would I want a gun?’ Whatever stand you take, some rudimentary knowledge is necessary, and here is some advice:
Never touch a firearm unless you are totally confident in its operation. But if you have to, avoid any contact with the trigger as some are extremely sensitive.
Always keep the barrel pointing away from people. Direct it up in the air or, if the ground is soft, downwards.
Remember, firearms can be ‘attractive’ items and in some scenarios could be booby-trapped, so again, do not touch them unless it’s imperative to do so.
/IF YOU MUST USE A GUN…
Should you ultimately be driven to use a gun in a life or death situation, try to remain calm and take the following steps:
Look for the safety catch – internationally, ‘S’ stands for ‘Safe’.
Choose a setting – ‘R’ for ‘Repeat’ and ‘A’ for ‘Automatic’. For accuracy and control, select ‘R’, allow the weapon to point naturally, aim at the centre of mass of your target and squeeze (don’t pull) the trigger.
/SECURITY
My advice is that if you feel the need to be armed, you should leave the weapons in the hands of experts like Chris. But the process of finding the right kind of security is a delicate one. Do you go local or do you outsource? It depends on the task at hand.
Let’s start with a few observations about Western ‘security contractors’. I don’t mean to generalize – and goodness me, have I seen my share of handsome bodyguards – but all too often ‘security’ means a bunch of pasty, tattooed, slightly overweight men who have arrived in a country for the first time with few or no local contacts. They tend to charge a fortune to tell you that you can’t do what you need to do in order to keep your job. However highly trained and excellent they are, they stick out like a sore thumb, and so will you.
Shadi Alkasim advises: ‘Avoid hiring a muscly bodyguard: it could draw attention to you and might lead to you getting kidnapped or killed. People might attack you, believing that you are working as a spy with the forces of the armies stationed there. Or they could hijack you for a ransom demand in the belief that you are someone important and rich, and you could end up dead.’
But if you are heading into an unknown area or disaster zone, the bodyguard’s knowledge, experience and ability to adapt to any situation is invaluable. What they don’t know when they turn up they make it their job to learn. There is a network that spans the world, and they will tap into it for the best local knowledge.
Film-maker James Brabazon told me: ‘In Liberia I employed a South African ex-mercenary as a bodyguard – the only time I have used an expat as an armed guard. He was dressed in a military uniform and carried a gun, which is an entirely different thing from a journalist carrying a gun. If he had been arrested, he would have been tried as a mercenary and probably shot. They wouldn’t have done that to me. He understood that.’
James has made it his business to mix in worlds where most people wouldn’t dare to go. Even the ballsiest people I know look at work by James and wonder why he decided to put himself at such risk. The first film I saw of his was a documentary made in Liberia during the war there in 2003. While filming with the rebels, a notoriously nasty bunch, James got to know them and understand their impulses. After that he was chosen as the official documenter of the failed coup in Equatorial Guinea. His book and film about the man behind that coup, Simon Mann, is called My Friend the Mercenary. James says good security is not just about finding the right man for the job – it’s about learning to listen to him too:
‘In Liberia in 2002 I was filming rebel soldiers fighting against government troops at close range. I wanted to stay in the position where I was filming from, but a rebel commander wanted me to move back. It had taken me about two hours to get there crawling on my hands and knees under fire. I was very reluctant to move back. The South African mercenary I had hired to protect me, Nick du Toit, insisted I move back. I still said no, but he grabbed me and dragged me to one side. An RPG [rocket-propelled grenade] hit the spot where I had been standing. The group of people I had been standing with were all killed or injured. Deafened by the blast, we were shouting at each other, trying to work out what to do next. Our noses were two or three inches apart and a bullet passed between us. He grabbed me again and we ran back into cover. My advice is this: if you have employed someone because of their expertise and value them for it, listen to them – even if it is inconvenient.’
On the other hand – and here I risk a sweeping generalization – foreign security guards tend to err on the side of caution. You have to learn when to listen to them and when to follow your own instincts. Nick Toksvig agrees:
‘There had been a terrible bombing at Qurna, in Lebanon. It was the second by the Israelis in a number of years. It was highly contentious and the Israelis were on high alert. Rumour said that they were targeting cars going along the road from Beirut to the south. Our security guy told us not to go. I listened to him, but I also knew we were in the country to cover stories exactly like this. I decided we should risk it. We got there and they were still pulling children’s bodies out of the rubble. It was awful.’
If you can find good local security guards, you are onto a winner. Look for discipline and, if they are in a team, a clear hierarchy. You need to be able to communicate clearly with them. They need to be clear on your objectives, what you need to do each day, but you also have to trust that they will know when to say no. At other times you might need to push them for a little more caution because the land and people are so familiar to them. Take time to get to know them and even their families if you can. They could be risking their life for you. Their partnership with you will be noted by the local community. They will be judged one way or another long after you have moved onto the nex
t job.
According to Nick Toksvig, local hire can be a hit and miss affair: ‘We drove from Peshawar through the Khyber Pass into Jallalabad in November 2001. The hunt for Bin Laden was under way and we were making our way to Tora Bora. We travelled by convoy and hired local armed guards throughout the time we were there. They were OK, but it’s always a risk hiring someone carrying a gun. Their loyalty is to the money rather than you. If someone pays them more, they can stab you in the back.’
For some, such as Zeina Khodr, the idea of hired security is never a good one. She advises: ‘Keep a low profile. I never travel with bodyguards because armed escorts set you apart. My life is not more important than the life of anyone else here. In the end you won’t get the support of the people.’
/SELF-DEFENCE WITHOUT WEAPONS
The idea of self-defence is to avoid getting hurt, not to hurt your attacker. It is great to learn a few techniques, but in reality they are not going to save you if you are taken by surprise, or overwhelmed by someone who is hugely stronger than you. But if you have time, take some self-defence or martial arts classes. At the very least, get fit and strong. Knowing what it feels like to punch and kick might give you the confidence you need for that extra edge in a fight.
Remember, though, your aim is to avoid engaging altogether – run!
Warning: When faced with someone who is armed, comply and do nothing to aggravate them if you think they might use their weapon.
/AVOIDING ATTACK
Many fights can be won before they start. If you can convince your attacker that you are not worth the effort before they begin their assault, that is the better option.
How to Avoid Being Killed in a War Zone Page 21