by K. B. Webb
By the time I get there, the bleeding has stopped, but my shirt is soaked in blood. I grab a clean one from by bag in my backseat and throw it on. While the bleeding has stopped, the bruises have set in. She is going to flip shit when she sees me.
I walk in without knocking. “Mom?”
There is a pot of spaghetti sauce cooking on the stove and I can smell cookies in the oven. This is why I come over every Sunday. And to see my mom.
“Lucas, is that you?”
“Nope, just a burglar calling you Mom. I’m about to steal all your shit. Including this spaghetti sauce.”
She walks in just as I’m about to dip my finger into the pot, slapping it with the dish towel from over her shoulder.
“What the hell, Mom?”
“No eating the sauce till it’s done. You know that! And watch your mouth in this house, mister.”
“Sorry, Mom.” I lean down to kiss her check and I can tell the exact moment she notices the bruises.
“Lucas Wade, what the hell happened to your face?”
“Language, Mom!”
I laugh, she doesn’t. “This isn’t funny, young man. What happened?”
“Oh, this,” I touch my nose and quickly realize that was a terrible idea, “I ran into a wall. No big deal.”
She raises an eyebrow at me. “You ran into a wall?”
“Yes, ma’am. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”
“You boys cause my blood pressure to go up, I swear. Come sit down, the cookies will be done soon.”
We walk into the living room and I sprawl out on the couch while my mother sits on the loveseat.
“So, oldest son of mine, to what do I owe this lovely visit?”
“It’s Sunday, Mom. I always come over on Sundays.”
“I know, but usually Dani is with you, and she’s not today, so what did you do?”
“How do you know I did something?”
“Because I raised you. Now what the hell did you do to that girl?”
“We broke up, Mom. Well, she broke up with me. I lied to her about some stuff and she can’t forgive me for it.”
“I can’t say I blame her. You can’t build a relationship on dishonesty.”
“Really, Mom! You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m supposed to be honest with you. And honestly, if you lied to Dani, then she has every right to end it with you.”
“Her friend punched me in the nose. He said since I broke her heart and he broke my nose, we were even now.”
“That sounds like a fair trade.”
“He also said she had cried all night because of me.”
“Well, that’s good.”
I sit up and look at her, confused as to what she means. “How is Dani crying a good thing?”
“Because that means she still cares. Now, when she quits crying and can be around you without her smile even cracking a little, that’s when you need to worry. Because that means she doesn’t love you anymore. Tears suck, but they mean she still cares. Just make sure you find a way to win her back before the tears stop.”
A week later, I pull my truck into Ricky’s and put it in park. I haven’t seen her in eight days. Eight fucking days since I have seen her red hair or heard the way she says my name. Eight days since I’ve kissed her, held her. Eight days too many.
I don’t really have a plan. I’m just hoping she has had some time to cool down and think about everything, and she’s willing to give me a chance to at least begin to rebuild her trust in me. We can take it slow as snails. I just need her to give me the chance to make this better.
I walk in and my eyes instinctively search for Dani. It doesn’t take me long to find her. She’s behind the bar, laughing and chatting with some of the regulars who are sitting there. Her red hair is in a ponytail and it’s hanging to one side. She looks fucking gorgeous, as usual. She’s wearing her Ricky’s shirt and a pair of dark jeans that hug her ass perfectly. I miss her. I miss fucking her. I miss her sweet strawberry scent. I miss everything.
She notices me approaching the bar and smiles softy at me. That’s a good start, right. At least she’s not shooting lasers at me with her eyes.
“Hey, Dani.” Molly walks up and puts her hand on Dani’s shoulder and gestures her head toward me. “Why don’t you take your break.”
“Thanks, Molly.”
She rounds the bar and heads for the front door with me walking right behind her. The way her hips swing with every step drives me insane.
She walks to her jeep and leans against it.
I wait for her to speak, but when she doesn’t, I take the lead.
“Listen, Red, I… well, I was hoping we could talk about everything that happened. I made some mistakes, some real big ones, but I want to make it up to you.”
“Lucas, there isn’t anything you need to make up for. Now that I’ve had some time to think about it, we rushed things way too much. We didn’t even really take the time to get to know each other before we jumped in bed together. A relationship like that is doomed from the start.”
She opens up the door to her jeep and grabs a box off the passenger seat.
“Here’s all your stuff that was at my apartment. I was gonna give it to Logan tonight, but since you’re here, I’ll just give it to you.”
I take the box from her hands and stand in front of her, speechless. She doesn’t look hurt. Or mad. She looks happy, like she doesn’t have a care in the world.
“Hey,” she places her hand on my chest and I can feel the heat from her touch through my shirt, “don’t be a stranger, okay? Come in whenever you get a chance and hang out.” She starts to walk back toward the door of Ricky’s. “Your next round is on me.” With that, she smiles and fades away into the loud music inside.
I remember what my mother told me, and I instantly feel dread. Dani’s smile didn’t even crack, not even a little.
My mom has been here for two days, and she is already driving me insane. She keeps tiptoeing around me like I’m made of glass and I’ll shatter at any minute. Between her and Jasmine, the only alone time I get is when I pee or shower. And sometimes when I shower, Jasmine sits on the counter and talks to me.
I can hear them whispering when I’m out of the room. Both of them think that I will break down any day now, but they’re wrong.
It’s been two weeks since shit went downhill with Lucas, and even though it still hurts like hell, I’m working through it. I’m not willing to forgive him, so there’s no point in trying to make something work that won’t, and crying over it won’t do any good either. So, I’ve gone on about my life like everything is normal.
Yes, sometimes I feel like my heart hurts so bad it may break and never recover. And sometimes I cry when I’m in the shower. And I still sleep with Lucas’ pillow because it still smells like him, but everything is fine.
Well, everything besides Jasmine and my mother at least.
I walk into my living room and see them both sitting on my couch, wine glass in hand, whispering to each other.
“For God’s sake y’all, I’m right here! No need to whisper about me, just tell me whatever is on your mind.”
Jasmine answers first, “We’ve told you what’s on our minds, you are in denial.”
“Ugh. No, I’m not. I’m behaving like a rational adult; maybe you two should try it sometime.”
“Don’t get sassy with me, Dani Gail!” My mom is quick to remind me when I get an attitude with her.
“Sorry, Mom. I’m just so tired of y’all treating me with kid gloves.
“We’re just worried about you, dear.”
“I know, Mom, but I really am okay. Yes, it sucks that things ended with Lucas, but it was inevitable. Lucas and I aren’t relationship people. It was never going to work. End of story.”
Jasmine is quick to respond, “So you have no feelings left for Lucas?” Of course, I do so many feelings that I don’t know where to put all of them.
“Of course I don’t. He’s a nice guy, and maybe we can be friends one day, but that’s it.”
“So let me set you up on a date then. There are some great single guys who work for Jason. Let me set you up with one.” There is a challenge in her eyes. She’s expecting me to say no, and when I do, she and my mother both will call me out on the feelings I still have for Lucas. I can’t let that happen, so I agree.
“Sure, why not. I’m off Saturday and Sunday.”
“Great.” Jasmine and I are now having a stare down. “I will have whoever I choose pick you up here at eight.”
“Sounds wonderful.” I know she can sense the sarcasm in my voice.
It doesn’t sound wonderful. It sounds terrible actually, but I will be damned if I’m going to let my mother and Jasmine think they’re right. Even though they are.
“So, how was it?” My mom, Jasmine, Jason, and Todd are all sitting on my living room watching a Channing Tatum movie.
Jasmine pauses the movie and my mom scoots over some on the couch so I can sit down.
I’ve just walked back into my apartment from the date Jasmine set me up on. Adam is a thirty-year-old stockbroker who wore a suit and tie when he picked me up. His blond hair was brushed back with gel so it stuck down to his head and looked wet.
“Well, ya know how some first dates are bad? The guy’s breath smells like feet, he ‘forgot’ his wallet at home so you have to pay, and you get green stuff stuck in your teeth. Those are signs you’re on a bad date. Then there’s the date I had. It puts all bad first dates to shame.”
Todd laughs and reaches up from his spot on the floor and pats my knee. “You poor thing, tell us all about it!”
Everyone starts laughing, including me. “It’s really not funny. He’s such a dickhead. First, he asked me if I would change shoes because mine looked like stripper heels.” A collective gasp falls over everyone. “Oh, I know! But I did it anyway. I figured it was just a poor choice of words. Then, we get to this insanely glitzy five-star restaurant and he orders a bottle of wine. I tell him that I would much prefer a whisky on the rocks, and he tells me that whisky is for men, and women should only drink wine and champagne.”
“Holy shit.” Jasmine’s eyes are huge and her mouth is partially open.
“Oh no, it gets so much better! Then, when we order dinner, he orders me a salad. I tell him that I was really looking forward to a steak, but he says that he thought from the way my dress fit so tight, that I should probably stick with the salad since it had less calories.”
My mother literally spit out her wine. “Rich fucker said what now?”
“Oh yeah, just wait till you hear this part. After dinner, we go to some snotty jazz club for drinks. Before he even had a chance to order me a glass of wine, I walked to the bar and ordered a whisky sour.”
My mother beams with pride. “That’s my girl.”
“He starts in again about how classy women don’t drink whisky. I couldn’t even stomach dealing with him anymore, so I had the bar call me a taxi and left him there.”
Jason looks appalled. “You didn’t tell him you were leaving?”
“Nope.” I pop the p and stand, walking to the fridge to grab a beer. After I have one in my hand, I take my seat back on the couch. “It was the worst date I have ever been on.”
Jasmine is trying to hide her laughter. “I’m so sorry, honey. I swear I will find you someone better for the next one.”
“There won’t be a next one, Jasmine.”
Jason gives my knee a nudge. “Oh, come on, sweetie, you got to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince.”
I shake my head. “I’m not ready to kiss frogs or princes. I miss Lucas. You all know it, and now I’ve admitted it, so can we please drop all of this. I don’t want to go on any dates, and I don’t want to talk about my feelings. I just want to drink beer and forget about it. Is that okay with everyone?”
They all agree and we continue the Channing Tatum mini movie marathon.
The next morning, I’m loading the dishwasher when someone starts pounding on my door.
“Who the fuck is that?” Something better be on fire for someone to be beating on my door like that.
“I don’t know, but I’ll get it.” I hear Jasmine say from the couch before she gets up to answer the door.
I only hear her side of the conversation. “Hey, uh, yeah, come on in.”
When I walk into my living room, I see Lucas standing by the front door.
“What are you doing here?”
He raises his eyebrows at me and wrings his hands together before setting them on his hips. He looks fucking furious. “How was your date with Richy Richy?”
Is this really happening? Who does he think he is? “Are you fucking with me right now, Lucas?” I wave my hand between the two of us. “We aren’t together. You don’t get to show up at my door and throw a hissy fit about me going on a date. You lost that ability when you lied to me!”
“Oh, step off your high horse. I’m not the only one who lied; am I, Dani?”
There is something about the way he says Dani that hurts my heart and knocks the breath out of me. He has never called me Dani; he always called me Red.
“What are you talking about?” My eyebrows pull together in confusion. What have I lied to him about for him to think he has the right to storm into my apartment and show his ass like this?
“I think I can shed some light on this situation.” My mom steps out of the hallway into the living room. I didn’t even realize she had been listening this whole time.
“After your date last night, I got Lucas’ number out of your phone.”
She did what? “Why the hell would you do that, Mom? This is my business, my life! I don’t need you sticking your nose in it!”
She closes the small gap between us until she is standing in front of me.
“Now, Dani Gail, I know you’re not happy with me right now, but I’m your mother, and you will not disrespect me like that.” She takes a step away from me so she can see both Lucas and I to address us both. “I called him because you admitted last night that you missed him. I was calling him to just tell him to not give up on you; that you would come around in your own time, but I found out a funny thing when I talked to him. He didn’t know about the money Reggie had given you. The money you used to buy this apartment.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She raises her eyebrows at me and takes a step toward Lucas. This is her way of showing me she is siding with him. I should be pissed off; my own mother taking my ex-boyfriend’s side instead of her own daughter’s, but I’m not. I have been a hypocritical bitch, and I don’t deserve for her to be on my side right now.
“I think there’s some things you two need to work out. Come on, Jasmine, there’s gotta be a place around here where I can get a good Mimosa.” She grabs her purse and keys off the coffee table and heads for the front door with Jasmine on her heels. Before shutting the door, Jasmine flashes me a sad smile and mouths “I’m sorry.” I know from the expression she is wearing that she had no idea what my mother had done, she would have told me if she did. She’s my best friend; we don’t keep things from each other.
“What the fuck, Dani. What. The. Fuck. You bought this apartment with his money. I slept in this apartment. I fucked you in this apartment. I told you I loved you in this apartment! And it was bought with another man’s money?”
“Lucas, I’m so sorry. I—”
He quickly cuts me off, “I’m not done, Dani. You left me for hiding from you the fact that I fucked Nikki, which I did before we were officially together, but you hid something huge from me. Something fucking massive. I can’t believe you.” He paces around my living room, running his hands over his dirty blond hair.
For the first time since he stormed through my door, I take a really good look at him. He’s even more breathtaking than I remembered. He’s wearing his favorite shirt and the dark jeans I always told him made his ass look good. One side of his jeans is parti
ally stuck inside one boot, like he rushed putting them on and didn’t even pay attention to untucking them. He’s not wearing a belt either. He literally looks like he ran out of the door to get here.
“When did she call you?”
He looks slightly confused. “When did who call me?”
“My mom, when did she call you?”
“This morning. I left as soon as we got off the phone. I was going to call you, but I knew you wouldn’t answer. And I needed to see you.”
Now it’s my turn to look confused. “Why did you need to see me?”
He stops pacing and looks me directly in the eyes. My knees buckle slightly from their intensity. My mouth waters and I swallow, trying to calm my heart that is now beating a mile a minute. He looks angry, and beautiful, and furious, and in love, all at once.
“I needed to see if I still loved you.”
I stand in place, not sure what to say. Do I want to know if he still loves me? Does it matter? Do I still love him?
“I do. I do still love you, Dani. I don’t know if I want to anymore, but I do. I still love you.”
“Does it matter that I still love you too?” The words pour out of my mouth before I can stop them.
He stares at me for a moment, chewing on the inside of his mouth, running his eyes from my head to my feet, almost like he is studying me. “I don’t know anymore, Dani.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“Calling you what?”
“Dani. You’ve never called me Dani. You’ve always called me Red. Stop calling me Dani!” I storm away from him and head toward my kitchen. I don’t have to look behind me to know he’s following me.
“Are you fucking with me, Dani? Really, that’s what you’re going to get upset about right now? You’re unbelievable.”
“Me? I’m unbelievable? You fucked her, Lucas! That was hard enough to forgive but you saw her daughter, who you thought was your daughter at one time, and you hid that from me. How am I supposed to forgive that, huh? I was always supportive of you seeing Lisa, but you hid it from me anyway. You lied!”