As she spoke, her shoulders drooped with weariness.
“How late are you going to be up tonight?” he asked.
“I don’t want to think about it.”
“Can I help? If you mixed up the gingerbread here, we could bake it at my place. That would free you up to concentrate on the cookies.”
She gave him a grateful smile. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Not at all.”
“Thanks.”
She collected large mixing bowls and baking pans for the gingerbread, then shooed him off to preheat his oven. As Mark made his way to his own place, he wondered if she would accept money from him. He had some put away. He could help her pay for the next semester of Dirk’s schooling.
But even as he came up with the plan, he dismissed it. Darcy would never take that kind of help. Using his oven was one thing, but money was something else. She was stubborn and proud.
She was also everything he’d wanted Sylvia to be. The difference was Darcy was the genuine article. So what exactly did he want from her?
Their relationship wasn’t like any he’d had before. With Sylvia there’d been sudden, overwhelming attraction. He’d been smitten from the second he’d seen her. With Darcy, things had happened more slowly. Although not sexually, he reminded himself with a grin as he walked into his kitchen and turned on the oven. The physical chemistry between them was the most powerful he’d ever experienced. But the rest of it—the friendship or whatever he wanted to call it—had been slow in growing. Like a tiny ember that grew to be a—
A what? Forest fire? He shook his head. That was too big. That implied a kind of connection that made him uncomfortable. He and Darcy weren’t in love, they were—
He paused again, trying to define their relationship, all the while hating his own indecision. Before Sylvia, he’d always known where he stood with the women in his life. Usually they didn’t engage him. Sylvia had seemed like the answer to his prayers. So what was Darcy?
“Bigger is better,” Darcy said the next evening as they stood freezing in the Christmas tree lot. “I want it to fill the living room.”
Mark stared at the monstrosity she’d picked. “If you get this one it will fill the living room, because it’s too tall. You’d either have to cut it in half or turn it on its side.”
“You think?” She tilted her head to gaze up at the gorgeous tree she’d chosen. ”It’s just that I usually don’t have a very big budget for decorating. But this year, with all the extra money from my baking, I thought I’d go a little wild.”
“I suggest going wild on a smaller scale.”
She thought about the low ceilings in her duplex and sighed. “I guess you’re right. I don’t want to have to cut the tree to make it fit. So if we can’t get a tall one, let’s get a really bushy one.”
“There won’t be room to sit anywhere.”
She laughed. “Aren’t you Mr. Crabby Pants? Mark, it’s Christmas. You need to get into the spirit.”
Instead of answering, he took her hand and led her to a different section of the lot. Once there he started talking about different kinds of trees. As she didn’t know Douglas fir from cat fur, she didn’t pay attention to what he was saying. Instead she allowed herself to get caught up in the play of light on his handsome features and the way he gestured when he spoke.
She liked that, even though he wasn’t much of a holiday guy, he was earnestly trying to make sure she got the right tree for her place. Not that he would buy one for himself.
“Are you sure you don’t want a tree?” she asked, interrupting him.
Mark sighed in frustration. “Yes, I’m sure. I don’t do trees. If I get a burning urge to participate in the holiday spirit, I’ll come over to your place.”
“What about a little one for your table.”
“Darcy!”
“Okay. Fine. I’ll get a tree. But you can pick it out so that it feels more like your own.”
An hour later they were back in her living room. Mark had put the massively fat tree into the stand and was positioning it as much in the corner as possible.
“We’re going to have to move the sofa,” he told her.
She ignored his “I told you so” expression. ”That’s not a problem. I’ll just pull it toward the dining room.”
“You’ll have to climb over it to get down the hall.”
She glanced at the sofa, then at the entrance to the tiny hallway that led to her bedroom and the bathroom. “If we put it at an angle…”
“Then there’s no room for the coffee table.”
She smiled. “It’s Christmas, Mark. We can do without a coffee table.”
He grumbled under his breath, then obligingly carried the table into the dining room. Through a bit of shifting and pushing, they managed to fit the sofa and the chair and the tree all into the living room. The scent of pine drifted through the apartment. Darcy carried in the boxes of ornaments she’d had stored in the garage.
“Some of these are from when I was a little girl,” she said, setting the boxes down on the sofa and opening the top one. “I made a few of them myself, so don’t laugh.”
“I’d never laugh at you.”
His words made her shiver. Darcy didn’t dare turn around and look at Mark. Not when she was afraid of what he would see in her eyes. There was something magical about spending this holiday with him. She didn’t know what was going to happen between them—she still didn’t know how to define their relationship. All she knew was that when she was with him, she felt really good inside.
“Will you see your sister for the holidays?” she asked, digging around for lights. She found the first string and handed it to Mark.
“No. Maddie’s going to be on the road. What about you? Will you go see Dirk? Or will he come here?”
“I’ll go there on Christmas Day. There’s a big celebration at the school. Apparently a lot of parents and family come. I’m looking forward to it. I have to work the week between Christmas and New Year’s. We discussed Dirk coming here for a few days, but as he’d be alone most of the day, he said he would rather stay at school.”
She hesitated, torn between wanting to invite Mark to join them for Christmas and wondering if that was too presumptuous. He was already meeting Dirk in a few days. Would he really want more contact with her brother? And yet if she didn’t invite him, was she being rude?
“What about Christmas Eve?” he asked.
She handed him more lights. But instead of taking them from her, he grabbed her hand.
“Darcy?”
She looked at him. He smiled.
“Would you please spend Christmas Eve with me?” he asked. “We can open our presents.”
Her heart thundered in her chest and her mouth went dry. “Presents?”
“Just a couple of little things to make you smile.”
He was getting her presents? Something worth smiling over? Her brain instantly flashed to an engagement ring. In that same instant, she told herself not to be silly. Mark wasn’t going to propose to her.
Her legs gave way and she plopped onto the sofa.
“Hey, are you all right?” he asked.
“Fine. Christmas Eve would be great.”
Did her voice sound okay? Could he hear the terror in her voice. Terror that came not from fear that he would propose—but fear that he wouldn’t. She realized in that second, she wanted him to. Because she’d fallen in love with him.
Thirteen
“So the thing is I’ve never brought anyone to see Dirk before,” Darcy said. “I don’t know what he’s going to think or say. I know we’re friends, but you’re also a guy and that could have an impact on him.”
“You think?” Mark asked calmly, never taking his attention from the road.
Darcy nodded even though he couldn’t see her movement. “Sure. I mean Dirk has some developmental issues, but he’s also a fourteen-year-old boy. There are hormones at work. Not that he’s shown any interest in the whole boy-g
irl thing. I don’t even want to think about that. Talk about a nightmare in the making. My point is—”
Mark spared her a quick smile. “Darcy, I know what your point is. Dirk may be completely fine with meeting me. He may also be threatened. I won’t take it personally if it’s the latter. I promise to do my best to make him like me. Now would you please calm down before you give yourself a heart attack?”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. If you bounce your foot any harder, you’re going to break through the floor of my truck.”
“What?” She glanced down at her leg. Sure enough it was jumping around as she gave in to her nervousness. “I might be a little tense,” she admitted. ”It’s just I’ve never done anything like this before.”
“Everything is going to be fine,” he promised.
Easy for him to say, she thought to herself. What he didn’t know was that she had a lot more on the line that he realized. She desperately wanted things to go well with Dirk. If she had any chance at a long-term relationship with Mark, he was going to have to get along with her brother. And figuring out that she was in love with Mark had made her want things to last as long as possible.
She still couldn’t believe she’d fallen for him, but given what they’d been through together, she shouldn’t be surprised. There had to be a reason that she’d ended five years of celibacy with him. Some of it was sexual chemistry, but some of it was something much more. She was drawn to his strength—both physical and emotional. She liked who he was and how he lived his life. She admired him. And there was the small detail of him being easy on the eye and darned good in bed. What was there not to like?
The question was—should she tell him about her feelings? So far every fiber of her being had screamed “no” really loud. The man had recently been through a horrible experience with a woman he’d wanted to marry. She wasn’t completely sure he was over that. Or if he was, she could be his rebound relationship. Neither possibility gave her any reason to put her heart on the line.
They pulled into the parking lot of the school before she had a chance to calm herself. In what felt like seconds, they’d made their way to the great room, where Dirk was waiting along with several of his school friends. She’d warned him that she was bringing a friend and now she waited anxiously to see how her brother would react.
He walked toward them slowly. Darcy’s heart filled with love as she stared into her brother’s familiar face. He was tall and good-looking and obviously happy. He grinned at her. She flew into his arms and they hugged. Then she stepped back and introduced them.
“Dirk, this is Mark. He lives next door to me. He’s a detective.”
Her brother and Mark shook hands. “Nice to meet you. Darcy’s told me a lot about you,” Mark said easily.
Dirk nodded. “Darcy always says nice stuff about me. A detective works with the police. Do you keep Darcy safe?”
“I work for the local sheriff’s office rather than the police, which is almost the same. Do you worry about your sister?”
Dirk nodded. “She’s by herself now. I don’t want her to get scared at night.”
“I see.” He gazed at the young man. “Darcy knows that if she ever gets scared, she can call me. I’m right next door and I’ll do everything I can to keep her safe.”
Dirk nodded. “Good.”
Darcy felt some of her apprehension fade away. She’d been worried about this meeting, but it seemed as if things might work out after all. Mark had taken Dirk’s concerns seriously, while her brother didn’t seem threatened by her having a man in her life.
She linked arms with both of them. “So what’s on the schedule for today?” she asked.
“I want to show Mark my pictures from Chicago,” Dirk said. He glanced over her head. “I went there with my school. It was Thanksgiving. We took the train and then stayed in a hotel.”
“Sounds like fun,” Mark said.
“It was. I took my camera. Darcy gave it to me and then she gave me film. I like taking pictures.”
“He’s very good at it,” Darcy told Mark. She returned her attention to her brother. “Then what?”
“After lunch some of the guys want to play basketball. I’d like you to watch.”
“Absolutely,” she promised. “I’ll even cheer when you get a basket.”
Dirk smiled. “Would you like to play with us?” he asked Mark.
“It just so happens that basketball is my game.”
Life was bitterly unfair, Darcy thought later that afternoon as her brother and Mark raced down the court. The two guys were a terrific twosome, tossing the ball back and forth, making baskets and then high-fiving each other. They didn’t look that much alike, but there was a similarity in their physical grace.
Mark had collected his workout clothes from his gym bag in his truck. Darcy tried not to notice how good he looked sweating. She’d worried about him and Mark for no reason. They were getting along like old friends. Which made her concerned for a completely different reason. How was she supposed to resist him now?
“Darcy’s got a boyfriend.”
She turned toward the singsong voice and saw Andrew climbing the bleachers to sit next to her.
“I’m not even going to dignify that comment with a reply,” she said with a sniff.
Andrew laughed. “Dirk told me you were bringing a friend. I wanted to check him out for myself.”
“What do you think?”
He turned his attention to the basketball game. “Aside from favoring one leg, I would say he’s a pretty good player.”
She glared at the counselor. “He hurt himself playing last weekend, and you know that’s not what I meant. I don’t care about his physical prowess on the basketball court.”
Andrew nodded. “I know. I watched him at lunch. He’s okay with the kids. Some people feel uncomfortable, but they get over it. Others never fit in. They’re awkward and find excuses to stay away. Your friend there—” he jerked his chin toward the court “—is one of the good ones. He doesn’t really care that these kids are different.”
“That’s what I thought, too,” Darcy admitted.
“You sound like you wish it wasn’t true.”
“I don’t, exactly. Let’s just say his acceptance of Dirk complicates things.”
What she wasn’t about to tell Andrew is that it made her more vulnerable, which was the last thing she needed with Mark. She was already in love with him and having daydreams about happily ever after. She had to keep reminding herself that he hadn’t shown any interest in a permanent relationship. Her luck in the man-woman department had been pretty lousy for years and he’d just been through a horrible experience during which the woman he’d wanted to marry had tried to kill him. Not exactly a formula for romantic bliss.
“What are you scared of?” Andrew asked.
“I’m not afraid. More resigned. Life has taught me that when things get tough, people tend to desert like rats on a sinking ship.”
Andrew returned his attention to the game. Dirk made another basket and Mark yelled out congratulations.
“Maybe your friend is more the lifeboat kind.”
“Maybe.”
She desperately wanted to believe it, but she was afraid of being let down again. She was tired of being hurt. Not that she had much choice. Now that she was in love with him, it was unlikely she would get out of this unscathed.
“I had a good time,” Mark said on their drive home. “Thanks for inviting me.”
“You’re welcome.”
He gave her a teasing smile. “All that worry for nothing.”
She nodded. “I guess I shouldn’t have sweated the visit so much. Dirk really enjoyed meeting you.” In fact, her brother had seemed more sad that Mark was leaving than that she was going as well.
“I liked meeting him, too. He’s a special kid with a very special sister. You’ve done a hell of a job, Darcy.”
“I don’t deserve any praise.”
“Sure y
ou do. You’ve worked your butt off to provide for your brother. Just in the past six or eight months you’ve uprooted yourself, moved to an unfamiliar town and enrolled your brother in a wonderful, but very expensive school. You’re strapped for cash and determined that he get the best education he can.”
While she appreciated the praise, she didn’t understand it. ”He’s my brother. What else would I have done? You took care of your sister.”
“My situation wasn’t anything like yours. Maddie was already in high school when our folks died and, except for the usual teenage stuff, didn’t require anything extra of me. You took on taking care of Dirk when a lot of more prepared people would have walked away. And you’ve helped me a lot.”
“Me?” She turned toward him. “What are you talking about?”
“I came back to Whitehorn physically on the mend, but the rest of me was a mess. I hadn’t worked through all my conflicting emotions about Sylvia. I wasn’t ready to be back in the world. I wanted to hide and lick my wounds. You got in the way of that. I owe you.”
“I was just being a friend. You don’t owe me anything.”
She didn’t want his gratitude or a debt. She wanted something more permanent. Hope fluttered in her chest and no matter how much she told herself it was dangerous, the light, tickly feeling wouldn’t go away.
“About Christmas,” he said. ”You’re going to spend it with Dirk?”
“Yes.” She bit her lower lip. “Do you have plans?”
“Not really.”
“Do you want to come with me? You don’t have to,” she added hastily. “I mean it’s going to be a big crowd and I know that’s not your thing.”
“I’d like to go,” he told her.
“Good.”
The fluttering in her chest increased. She was sinking in fourteen kinds of trouble and didn’t know how to keep herself from drowning.
“What time do you want to head to the school?” he asked.
“About nine in the morning. That will put us there around ten. They eat at two, and we can come back after dinner.”
Montana Mavericks Christmas Page 33