by S. J. Smith
I only got stuck here because I became convinced that I was being chased, and it was the only place I could hide in. Then, I remained here because I’d become fatigued and weary. I stayed because I have nothing else to do.
But now it’s time to make my move once more. I’ve run out of food supplies, so I can’t stay for much longer anyway – even if I wanted to.
This is the hardest part of survival – the constant need for food. It always comes down to food.
I pack up my belongings, looking forward to getting back on the road, where I feel the most like myself. As I chuck everything into my meager backpack, I manage to catch a glimpse of myself in a cracked window, and I sigh in disappointment.
I look a mess.
Washing isn’t top priority of course, but I prefer to do so when I can. I hate it when it’s been a while – my long auburn hair becomes matted, which is why I have it pinned back as much as possible. On top of that, my blue eyes look more than a little tired, and my clothing has been ripped somewhere along the line. I’ll have to try and find something else to wear at some point, which is just another job that I could do without. It’s difficult to find clothing when it hasn’t been produced for over a decade. Luckily, I’m slim so I can fit into pretty much anything. Too big is better than too small.
I get so lost in looking at myself, at internally criticizing my appearance, that for a split second I forget all about my surroundings. My ears drop their constantly alerted state, my hypersensitivity dulls, and my eyes concentrate only on me. For the first time in a very long time, I drop my guard, and that turns out to be the biggest mistake I could ever make. It may only be for a second, but it’s enough to change absolutely everything.
Bang!
I feel a blinding pain emanating from the left side of my head as my body collapses to the ground.
What’s going on? What’s happening?
I’m so stunned that it takes me a while to realize that this is bad… really bad. A tight knot of panic forms around my heart, and begins to race through my veins, but it’s too late. I’m losing it – sight, consciousness, everything.
Then, I’m left with an everlasting blackness…
***
Huh?
I try to prize my eyes open, but the white light is too blinding for me to be able to see. My head is aching painfully, and I cannot recall where I am, or what I’m doing – a prospect that I find absolutely terrifying.
What’s the last thing I can remember?
I try to think back, to pick up anything, but for some reason my memory is all flickers of nothing.
I finally manage to take a look around, just to find myself in surroundings that I don’t recognize at all. It’s dirty, dusty, tiny… just like the sort of places I normally hide in, but there’s one big difference. There are bars keeping me in.
I’ve been locked up!
The first face that comes to mind is that of my dad. He’s finally caught me! A terrifying panic overcomes me at the thought of having to see his face again. After all this time, how will he be?
I force myself into a standing position, my legs aching with the weight of my body, and I slowly stagger my way to the bars, wondering how easy they would be to break free from. I might be a good fighter, but that’s because I’m fast, not necessarily strong. Certainly not tough enough to even begin to dent metal.
I’m stuck here, with no damn escape. After all this time, all these years, one second of distraction and I managed to get myself caught.
“Hey,” I call out weakly, to the guard standing in front of my cell. “What’s going on?”
He spins slowly to face me, revealing something unexpected, something that makes my heart sink. A blueish hue, oddly shaped waist, pale irises.
I haven’t been caught by humans. The Nya have got me.
Somehow, this is so much worse. Humans – although a race that I don’t really fit in with – can understand me. I could manipulate them, try to get some help. The Nya have their own language. Over time, some of them have managed to mimic a bit of English, but never good enough to communicate with.
“Crap.” I mutter to myself, my mind whizzing at a hundred miles an hour, trying to find a solution of some kind.
“You… are… Angie Lai,” I suddenly hear, coming from this Nya, sounding stilted – but far more English than any other Nya I’ve ever heard before.
My eyes snap up to him, trying to get a good look at him, to attempt to judge whether or not he can really hear me.
“I…” I start, but then he continues trying to talk.
“Your father is Nigel Lai,” he continues, seemingly building up his confidence.
“Yes, you… you can understand me?” I gasp, completely confused as to why any of the Nya would bother to learn the language of the race that they’re trying to wipe out. It seems like a massive waste of time to me.
“Yes. A little. I’ve been learning, trying to further my translator.”
“Translator?” I ask, shaking my head feeling completely confused.
“Some of us, not all, want to talk with humans. We aren’t all… for the fighting.” As he speaks slowly, trying his best to think of the right words, I take a good look at him. It seems that he really is telling the truth – I can tell by the extra effort that he’s made to look like us. The others have done so half-heartedly, not really needing to make too much effort because there are so few humans left, but this alien has sculpted what most would consider the perfect man. Tall, dark, very handsome, with a strong, muscular body. Of course, he cannot do anything about the telltale signs, but somehow, in an odd way, they manage to make him even more attractive.
I suddenly shake my head, realizing that I’m staring at him in a weirdly lustful way. This is the enemy, a Nya. He might look human, but he isn’t. I can’t allow myself to get fooled by that, or it might just be the death of me.
“Yes,” another voice bursts out from behind him, as a figure steps out from the shadow. “Some want peace.”
The man standing behind the guard looks exactly like him. Identical, as if they’re twins. I have to glance between them a few times, to check that I’m not seeing things.
“You… and you…” I’m aware that these shape shifters can do what they like, but in my injured, slightly bewildered state, this is almost too much to handle.
“We look the same… like the images of brothers we have seen from your world.”
“Yes.” I pant, feelings a little faint. “Like twins.” Are they twins? Or even brothers? Is that a thing in their race? I suddenly realize that the Nya know a lot more about humans, than we do about them.
*****
As the day’s pass, I find myself spending a lot of time with the alien twins – Wrotg and Arlaf – learning more about them, and their race.
The twins are part of an underground movement that has been working hard to undermine the war efforts, wanting to put an end to it. They are the reason that after the initial massacre, a lot of us are still here. The Nya in charge believe that the humans are fighting back, outwitting them at every turn, but in reality we have nothing to do with it. If it weren’t for these aliens, we would all be gone by now.
According to Wrotg, many Nya were convinced to take part in this takeover with the promise that there was hardly anyone on Earth, and that they would live peacefully alongside us – a concept that quickly fell apart. Now, they want to take themselves to a barren planet, to start again, to try and rebuild from there, but since Earth is such a viable planet, it’s going to take more than persuasion to change the leader’s minds.
It also turns out that I haven’t been quite as clever with my hiding as I thought either. The Nya have been keeping an eye on me the entire time, just waiting for the moment that I would be needed.
And it seems like that moment has come.
Apparently, the colony that my dad is in charge of is much bigger now, and much more filled with a hateful need for revenge. He’s poisoning the minds of everyon
e, leading them into a war that they cannot win.
Something about him has the Nya leaders nervous, so they have kidnapped me as a bargaining tool.
I listen intently as Wrotg tells me of this plan.
“They think he will give up… for you.”
“I don’t know,” I gasp, throwing my hand up to my head. “I don’t know if he will, it’s been so long.”
“The leaders won’t see that. We view time differently to you. To us, it hasn’t been long at all. Our days are the equivalent of your months; our years are approximately eight of yours. Our planet moved differently to this one, meaning we see time in a completely different way.”
I don’t know what to do with this information. I would gladly allow myself to be used if I believed it would stop my dad from getting a bunch of people killed, but I really don’t believe that it will.
I think it’ll make things worse.
“We don’t like it,” Wrotg continues determinedly. “We think it will end up killing you. We don’t want that to happen, we will save you.”
“The underground movement?” I ask nervously. I don’t want to be responsible for their identities being revealed either – the human race depends on them!
“No, me and Arlaf.”
“Why?” I whisper, but neither of them answers. Why the hell would two Nya want to help me? Sure, they hate the war, but saving me endangers them.
It makes no sense. None of it, yet I find myself incredibly relieved to know that for the first time ever, I finally have someone on my side.
*****
Nothing is mentioned over the coming days, making me wonder if either of the twins has backed out of the plan. Of course, I completely understand if that’s the case, but I can’t help feeling despondent about it.
I almost had an answer, an escape, and now that’s been stripped away from me.
Until suddenly, one night out of nowhere, Arlaf shakes me awake and tells me to follow him, with no explanation attached. I’m getting a little used to his lack of talking, but when he won’t even tell me where Wrotg is, I find it more than a little disconcerting.
“Shhh…” is the only communication I get, as we race through winding tunnels filled with all kinds of weird and wonderful things. Contraptions that look light years ahead of where humans are when it comes to technology. I always heard that before all of this, we were a very advanced society, but now I think that might have just been another untruth.
I begin to feel sick and dizzy as we weave, scared that we’re never going to escape, even becoming terrified that this might all be a part of a plan to get me killed…
But then all of a sudden, we’re outside and the sun is beating down on my shoulders.
“Wrotg!” I pant, spotting him in the distance.
As we run towards his lookout position, I feel my heart pounding with excitement and my legs turning to jelly. This guy – him and his brother – are my saviors, and in this moment, it’s causing me to have all kinds of confusing emotions. Ones that I really need to forget.
“Thank you,” I gasp, as we reach his side, pulling them both in for a hug in turn. Even the way that their warm bodies press against mine, and the musky scent that’s coming from them both, is confusingly human.
As I prepare myself to say goodbye, I feel oddly sad at the thought of never getting to see them again, but then Arlaf interrupts me.
“Come on, go. Now.”
“No,” I try to insist, not wanting them to endanger themselves, but then Wrotg explains that they cannot stay now, that it will be known that they helped me since they were always on guard, that they are fugitives, just as much as me.
I try to accept that as we run; leaving the alien base behind, but it’s overwhelming to think that they were willing to sacrifice so much, just for me…
*****
We keep moving for days, not wanting to stop for long enough to get caught. It’s annoying that I keep needing to sleep – an affliction that hasn’t affected the alien twins yet, since this is just one day to them – but we find a way around it. They keep watch over me as I rest in short bursts, just long enough to keep me going.
But it isn’t enough to keep me sane.
The more time that I spend with Wrotg and Arlaf, the more conflicted my feelings become. The hatred I felt for the Nya race definitely doesn’t apply here, but it isn’t just that. It’s much, much more. And that isn’t totally because of the unbearably gorgeous appearances that they’ve chosen for themselves – although that doesn’t help. It runs much deeper.
I feel closer to them, more connected to them, than I ever have to anyone before. I know they aren’t even the same species, not even from the same galaxy, but I have more in common with them than I ever have anyone else.
We’re outsiders, all of us. We understand what that’s like, and that bonds us deeply.
We might all be completely different – I have a tough outer shell, but a vulnerable inside, Wrotg is kind hearted and very sweet, and Arlaf is gruff and rugged – but underneath all of that, we’re very similar.
I keep having really inappropriate dreams about both of them, almost every time I fall asleep. Extremely hot ones and it’s making it increasingly difficult to be around them.
I keep wondering if they can tell, especially when I wake up all hot and bothered, but then I have to keep reminding myself that they aren’t human, that their behavior and social cues are totally different to ours. They won’t notice red cheeks and shortness of breath, or even awkwardness, because that isn’t Nya.
I’m not Nya.
And they are.
As long as I keep that at the forefront of my mind, I’ll be able to keep focused, and remain realistic…
*****
Eventually, after a few weeks of running, it becomes too much for all of us, and we decide to find somewhere a little bit more permanent to stay. This is challenging, because it feels like the whole planet is against us, and we have no idea of the real danger that we’re in. But eventually, we find a deep, dark, remote cave which we decide to temporarily make our own.
“This will do for now.” I smile at the twins, hoping that they can’t sense the strain behind my eyes. But of course, I’m not so lucky.
“Are you okay?” Wrotg asks me with genuine concern in his eyes, sliding his arm down my back. This action makes me shiver in a way that I don’t like. Or maybe I like it a little too much. I’m not sure; all I know is that it isn’t right. I can’t keep feeling this way, it’s impossible.
“Yes,” I reply automatically, trying to step backwards, but instantly feel cold away from his touch. It might not be normal, it might not be right, but it feels amazing to have him that close to me, and that’s enough to have me moving back towards him. It might not be the wisest decision ever, but I’m too emotionally drained to keep doing what I know is ‘right’.
He pulls me in for a deep hug, and in that moment I realize that my heart is pounding, and that my legs are trembling because I want the impossible to really happen. I want this man – both these men – to actually be human, not to just look it. I wish that I could just allow my feelings to grow, and to just fall in love with them naturally, in the way that my heart is so desperate to do. Either of them, both of them, it doesn’t matter. I feel for them both. I’ve never felt so connected to anyone before, everyone else has always made me feel unwelcome… different.
This connect is frustratingly real, and there’s not a damn thing that I can do about it. I want to cry with the injustice of it all – the only people I’ve ever felt are anything like me, are from another planet, another galaxy. They’re supposed to be my enemies.
It makes no damn sense.
I eventually force myself to pull back, sighing deeply, just to feel myself hit another body. Arlaf. He’s standing right behind me, too close to be considered appropriate, and I jump almost out of my skin.
“Oh, sorry!” I cry out in shock. “I didn’t expect you to be there.”
But
he doesn’t move. He just continues boring his pale eyes into me, sending my insides dancing about wildly.
Stop it! I try to tell myself. You can’t.
But somehow, the chemistry is too strong, and I cannot resist it. I don’t want to resist, but I know that I should. Everything inside of me is screaming at me to make smart choices – like I have done my whole life – but for some reason I can’t listen.
This is too much, it’s too intense, I can’t fight it any longer.
It’s as if I’m mesmerized by him, hypnotized even.
I move closer, and he does too. His blueish lips bearing towards me in a fluid movement, and before I can even think again, to even attempt to stop myself, they are on mine. Claiming me.
Everything else vanishes. The rest of the world, the war, even Wrotg. The rough, commanding way in which Arlaf made his move has turned me on much more than anything else could have. I feel like I’m on fire with desire, and I never want it to end.
Suddenly, just as I feel like I’m about to lose myself completely, Arlaf pulls away from me and spins me around to face Wrotg. That’s the first moment that I begin to feel a little embarrassed by my impulsivity, humiliated by my craziness. But then he strokes my cheek gently, romantically even, and a stirring occurs inside of me once more.
As Wrotg kisses me, everything is different. His brother is rough and demanding, whereas he is sweet and gentle. This contrast in bodily sensations is almost too much for me. Especially as he continues to kiss me, while Arlaf begins to tug my clothing from my body.
Is this real? Is it actually about to happen?
I can’t believe how crazy this is – I feel like I could be about to have sex with alien twins, together. A thought which is more bizarre than anything else, but down here in the dark cave, I feel suspended from reality, as if anything could happen.
Soon I find myself completely naked, and under their scrutinizing gaze in the candle light. There are so many eyes upon me, that I almost crumble beneath them. I’ve never been with anyone before, so to do this for the very first time with two men – to inhuman men – it’s as crazy as it is exciting.