by S. J. Smith
Jacob pushed his body harder, starting another rep. He listened to the boys, now in full swing down a hall somewhere, their feet pounding as they hollered orders at each other better than any Navy drill sergeant. They’d grown so much. It seemed like just yesterday that Boy especially would cling to him for days after he got home, the others following suit, trailing behind him like he was Johnny Appleseed for at least a week before they got used to him being around.
When did that stop?
Daniella fussed in her bassinet. Jacob sprang to the balls of his feet and went to her. He picked her up and she quieted as he talked softly to her. She was such a trusting little thing, so confident that anyone who held her meant goodness, warmth, and reassurance. A world away from those little girls who perished. She turned her head against his chest, and tried to root against his nipple.
He chuckled. “Sorry, darlin’ I’m not your mama. You ain’t gonna get nothin’ out of these.” She pursed her little bow lips and stared up at him, wide brown eyes unblinking as he left the master suite.
The head. Jacob shook his head at the children’s lettering, clearly Boy’s writing, on the piece of neatly cut construction paper on the first door he came upon. “Boys?” He pushed open the door to what was definitely the children’s bathroom, strategically set on the landing between four bedrooms. One look into each room told Jacob whose bedroom was whose. Boy’s room was perfect. Spic and span, ship shape and Navy regulation bare. A desk. Nothing on it. A bookshelf. Everything arranged in a straight line. Bed made with hospital corners. Pyjamas, though only a peek could be seen, were folded and beneath his pillow. Closet door closed. Nothing on the floor.
Zachary’s room was … trying. Same furniture as Boy’s but the desk surface hadn’t seen sunshine in weeks, if ever. Clothes, presumably dirty, lay scattered and abandoned on the floor. The bed was made but told a tale of pulling one side only to have the other wrinkle or slide to the floor. The pillow was under the bed. The closet door was wide open, pushed that way from the various things falling out. Jacob closed the door. Sid didn’t even try to maintain his chaotic bedroom save for the neat line of gadgets and toys on his desk. Those were evenly spaced and labelled. Everything else looked like it had suffered an hour of mortar fire. And the twins, well someone else had started maintenance but had given up trying. Stuff was piled everywhere, most of which had fallen over, the items strewn from one wall to the door and out into the hall.
Does the Navy think I have all day to clean this place? It’s like shoveling the walk in the snowstorm. Danika’s words from — how long ago was that — came back to him.
Jacob closed the doors and padded barefoot to the kitchen. He looked at another piece of neatly cut construction paper stuck to, this time, the wall. Mess Hall.
He smiled then flattened his mouth at the sight of Max, wearing a chef’s apron around his jean clad hips as he piled food from the frying pan onto nearby plates. The boys were off doing some shit in the backyard, the dog barking happily as the twins ran circles around her.
Jacob looked back to the other man in the room. “How long you been working for my wife, Max?” Daniella tensed and fussed as Jacob pulled out a chair and sat down.
Max shrugged and kept serving the food onto the plates. “About six months. Same time my husband left me to go overseas — to become one of you.” He tossed the spatula in his hand into the sink.
Jacob blinked. “Your … husband?”
Max shrugged and took down a set of cups from the shelf. “Raymond joined the Marines after our unofficial wedding. Dumped me as soon as Hell Week was over. Said our relationship wasn’t fitting.” He turned and looked pointedly at Jacob. “You know.”
Jacob could only stare at the other man. Husband? A marine? What the fuck? Did he really want to know more?
“We have a son. Tomas. He was in Boy’s swim class. When Miss Danika mentioned she needed a nanny, I needed a distraction. She also likes my cooking.”
“You’re gay?” Jacob said carefully.
Max smiled. “Miss Danika said the boys’ father was clever.”
Jacob grit his teeth. “Where’s your son now?”
“School.” Max laid out the plates of food on the table, setting the one with the extra high pile before Jacob. “And I have heard plenty about you boys on the teams, and I am not interested in your wife.” He raised an eyebrow. “But you?” He looked Jacob over from head to toe.
Jacob pushed back from the table, Daniella startling in his arms. Max broke out in a huge smile. “She told me not to tease you but —” He breathed the words through chuckles. “I could not resist.”
Daniella started to cry at Jacob’s sudden movement. “I’m sorry darlin’,” Jacob rocked her, scowling at Max. “Very fuckin funny.”
Max held up a hand in surrender. “Just wanted you to know there is no competition.” He pushed the plate of food at Jacob. “Food is the best peace offering.”
Jacob looked at the food. He couldn’t deny the smell was beyond tempting. How long had it been since he’d had a home-cooked meal? Although he much preferred Nika’s cooking. He looked down at Daniella, still rocking and trying to quiet her. “You have something for her to eat?” He picked up a nearby fork. “Seeing as her mother is not here.”
“No. She left for —”
“No! Three times!” Zachary dragged Sid into the kitchen. “Daddy, tell him it’s three times on. Off. On. On. On.” He held two flashlights, flicking one on and off as he spoke.
“Give me mine back! It’s mine!” Sid shrieked at his brother.
“No! Not until you do it right!” Zachary held one flashlight over his head. Sid jumped up to reach it. When his brother went on tiptoes, putting the flashlight further out of reach, Sid crashed into his brother’s chest, the two of them falling to ground.
“Whoa, boys.” Jacob started to stand as Max grabbed Sid off Zachary’s body. The little boy was determined though, and held onto the flashlights with both hands.
Max pulled out a chair and directed the boys to sit. “They do this every day. All the time with the flashlights. On. Off. On. Off. Makes me loco.” He slid plates of food to each of the boys before setting the last one at the remaining empty place across from Jacob. “Eat. Bus will be here in ten minutes.” He opened the fridge and took out Daniella’s bottle.
“Daddy, check me out.” Zachary slid under the table and started flashing the flashlight on and off toward Jacob. “What’d I say?”
Jacob leaned beneath the table and pulled out his son. “Stop tormenting your brother Morse code style.” He examined the flashlight, then flashed it on and off in his son’s direction. “What’d I say?”
Zachary frowned and sat in his chair. “No fair.” He scowled at his food then at his brother.
Jacob looked between his boys. “So you’ve been practising.”
Zachary perked up. “I’ve been teaching Sid!”
“They’re total geeks.” Boy wandered into the kitchen and saluted his father before he got into the chair at the other end of the table. He stuffed food into his mouth. “Mama’s told them a million times not to— Ow!” He grabbed his leg under the table then reached over and tried to stab Zachary with his fork. “Freak!”
“So where is your mama this morning, Boy?” Jacob asked.
Boy turned his attention back to his father. “Work,” he replied around a mouthful of food.
“At her underwear job!” Zachary and Sid both piped in.
“Geeks!” Boy scowled at his brothers.
Jacob looked at Max, as he put Daniella’s bottle down in front of his plate. “Underwear job?”
Max held up his hands. “I … just work here.”
***
Jacob pulled his truck into the beach parking lot and got out. He looked at the blue and white striped cabana then at the nearby sign: Slightly Here and Bare Lingerie and Swim Shop. He scanned the shoreline, looking past the six surfers coming in, the three men and eight women walking on the sand, and the woman with three chil
dren piling out of a van, until he found what he was looking for near the pier.
He pulled out his mini field glasses and focused on the group of people obviously filming or photographing something as they gathered around his ... wife? When some of them shifted, a man going down onto one knee revealed Danika, prancing around in the middle of them, wearing what had to be the smallest, barely-there bikini. Everywhere he looked was his wife’s curvy body and dark bare skin, all but naked, on display.
Jacob’s mouth fell open as his dick became instantly hard. He lowered the glasses and stared. “What the fuck?” His wife had kept her knees together in absolute shyness right up to their wedding night. He was not only her first lover but the first man to see her naked. He liked it that way.
He put the glasses to his eyes again. There were four of them out there: two women holding equipment, one struggling with a white sheet panel, another positioning an umbrella. The one watched his wife intently and directed as she wiggled, stretched, lounged and rolled in the sand, the cameraman — the fucker — was on his knees capturing it all on film.
Jacob zeroed in on the photographer: some guy probably in his early thirties and dressed like a hipster, as he handed Danika a sheer white scarf. His wife held it up over her head and let it fly out behind her while she moved her hips and arms from side to side before she wrapped it around herself, then pulled it suggestively over her stomach, between her legs and around her thigh.
“Holy fuck.” Jacob’s dick pushed against the zipper of his cargo shorts.
The camera man pointed at Danika, circling his finger. She nodded, and turned around, pushing out her beautiful thong-covered ass. Good God, his wife was hot. Just having had her sixth baby or not, she was curvy, full-breasted and on fucking God damned display for some jerk-off cameraman who was no doubt loving every minute of his job right now.
Danika let go of the scarf and put her hand over her eyes to watch it float out to the water. The cameraman crept forward to follow her every move as she arched, twisted and swung her full hips and ass. The bastard. Jacob gripped the glasses so hard he was amazed they didn’t break.
“That your wife, Sanders?”
Jacob grit his teeth at the question but he didn’t move his eyes from watching Danika. “What are you doing here, Thomas?” He’d seen the Navy issue vehicle pull up a few seconds ago from the corner of his eye, and whatever the Navy wanted would have to friggin’ wait. He watched the cameraman point to the rocks beside the pier, and Danika move to where he pointed. She lay back on the rocks and smiled toward the camera.
“Fuck me.” He’d fucked her on those rocks one night after they’d walked along the pier. It had been hot and wild, starting with her pushing him up against the pier standard and taking her until she came hard around his hard cock, and ended with her spread out on her stomach with him riding her hard from behind, coming deep inside of her as he rubbed her clit. He wanted her to climax again and take his seed deep into her womb with every pulse and pull of their intimate muscles.
“Uh, no thanks.” Thomas held up his hands.
Zachary had been the result.
Jacob studied Danika’s face for even the slightest hint that she remembered that night the way he did. Take my cum, baby. Take it all in. Take my hot seed and make me another baby. Give me another son. Fuck she had to remember the way she shook and convulsed beneath him that night at his words, how hard he came, how tight he held her, how much he worshipped her after she grew round again with his baby. He fucked her hard during every pregnancy. From behind, on the side, his hands on her hips, his palms running over her stomach. He couldn’t stay away from her. She was his wife and she was beautiful carrying his child.
He fucking loved her so damn much. He could not lose her. He wouldn’t.
Thomas’s voice cracked at him again. “Went to your house. Then to your other house. Didn’t know you moved.
“I didn’t.”
Thomas leaned against Jacob’s truck grill. “Damn. She’s hot.” His voice was full of male approval.
Jacob lowered his glasses and glared at Thomas.
The other man put his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, man. Been at sea a while.”
Jacob looked Thomas up and down then put the glasses back to his eyes and watched as Danika got up from the rocks and accepted a bright orange cover up from one of the other women. He let out a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding when she tied the robe
“Anyway.” Thomas twirled his keys and pushed off the truck. “They want you in for another debrief five minutes ago.”
Jacob watched Danika drink from a water bottle while the woman held up several more bathing suits. If those strings and miniature patches of material could be called bathing suits. No woman could swim in those things. The slightest pull of current would rip them off.
Jacob’s dick jerked in his pants. He glared at Thomas. “I’m on leave.”
“Hey, don’t kill the messenger.” Thomas kept his hands up as he walked back to his vehicle and got in.
Jacob got into his truck and opened his tablet. He thumbed and clicked his way to the swim-suit-slash-lingerie shop’s web page. Sure enough, a large glossy photo of his wife, smiling and dressed in satin and lace lingerie, smiled back at him.
“Fuck me,” he whispered again. Each photo of her was professionally done, focused on the lingerie and not her. She was modelling the clothes, not her body. Not that his dick cared. It had raged to attention and demanded relief. There was no way he could walk into an operation meeting like this. He sat back and unzipped his pants, taking himself in hand, like he’d done so many times over the past year.
He fucking missed his wife. He fucking needed his wife. He closed his eyes and mentally fucked her until he jerked every drop of his built-up cum onto the floor mat. No matter what happened between them, how far they’d grown apart, legally separated or not, he never relieved himself with any other woman. No matter how bad things got, it was his wife or nothing. Danika or his hand. Jacob zipped up his jeans and started the engine.
*****
Danika frowned into the rear-view mirror. “Boys, really?” Zachary and Boy kicked the soccer ball to each other across the back seat, while Sid tried to head butt it as it passed by. Like this minivan was big enough for that nonsense. “Keep it under wraps, we’re almost there.” She did a shoulder check to pull into the lane that led to the field, then did a double take. Was that Jacob behind her? She studied the line of cars in the other lane before a horn forced her to look back at the road ahead.
A guilty conscience bears no accuser. Her grandmother’s favourite saying came to mind.
She had successfully avoided Jacob all day, but the time of reckoning was coming. She was going to have to face him, ante up so they could talk this out. He was never going to agree to a divorce and she was never going to agree to stay in their marriage the way it was. Their separation was a train wreck, and though it seemed to be the best idea at the time, and the children had adjusted to things fine, Daniella’s dangerous premature arrival had forced her to pull her head out of her ass and herself from the brink of an all-consuming depression. She was not going back to that dark place she’d been in. Too stressed to move. Too depressed to think ahead. Every thought about her future dragging her beneath the covers until all she wanted to do was sleep to make it all go away.
How long had she gone on like that? Weeks? Months? She barely remembered taking care of the boys let alone herself. Had she cooked for them? Done their laundry? Gotten them off to school? All she clearly remembered was constantly mumbling for the twins to “go play.”
She remembered Mary Jane coming by, back while she was still living in Jacob’s family home, and leaving shell-shocked at the condition she found both Danika and the house in. Military wives did not let their houses go to shit. Ever. But Danika had. After that, she pushed her old friends further away than ever
“Are we there yet!?” Sid’s shrill question pulled Danika back to the pre
sent. She rolled her eyes and turned down the tree-lined lane that led to both the boys’ school and the soccer field. Her cell phone rang but she had to ignore it. At least until she got this bunch out and onto the field for practice. It was probably Max back home with the twins and the baby. Being as efficient as he was, he probably had the twins fed and ready for swim class. She glanced at the dashboard clock as she pulled into an empty space. “Okay, boys, pile out. Zachary, grab me the box of popsicles beneath your seat.”
“There were popsicles under there this whole time! No fair!” He jumped out of his seat belt and dropped to the floor. “Yes!” He held the box above his head. Danika immediately leaned over and plucked them from his hands.
“Not until after practice.”
“Aw. No fair,” he declared as loudly as possible as he climbed out of the van and ran toward the field. “I want a blue one!” He threw his hand in the air and pointed to the sky as he ran.
That was her wild child. Conceived on the beach in a fit of lust, he had been the epitome of exploding energy since. She scanned the busy field and found Boy, already with his team and pushing Sid toward his own soccer team’s area. Her eldest was his father’s son. A calm single-minded thinker who was orderly and responsible, and bossy. Conceived on their wedding night, the result of Jacob’s domination over her virginity, her eldest was way too old for his eight years. The first item on her list for the coming summer was to make sure he enjoyed the rest of his childhood with carefree abandon. She was sending him away, as requested, for two weeks of overnight Scout Camp. Typical of his introverted side, he’d left the flyer and registration forms tucked under her van’s windshield wiper blade two weeks ago. In turn, she had left the completed forms on his breakfast plate a few days later.
“Just me, not them?” he’d asked her.
She’d bent and kissed his forehead and he’d actually let her. “Yes. Just you alone for two whole weeks.”
The kid smiled for days.
“Dani!” Danika looked over to the group of mothers standing on the sidelines. “You staying?” Alicia, Ben’s mom, asked.