by Penny Smith
‘They always choose the horrible ones for those stories,’ said the makeup artist, dabbing face powder under Katie’s eyes.
Adam came in as she was fixing her hair. ‘Gemma’s managed to get a comedian to replace Mike. He’s filming a series down here in Bournemouth. We were supposed to have him on the show in a few weeks when he’s finished, but he’s agreed to get on a fast bike. He’ll be on last so he has time to sit down, chill out and get rid of his helmet head. Gemma’ll brief you in a minute. But he’s a dream to interview. Wind him up and let him go. Very entertaining. See you in a minute for the tease. You all right?’
‘Spiffing.’
Bob’s view of life, love, the universe and everything had been changed by his weekend in Kerry.
On the flight home, he had had a long conversation with Harry. Harry was a more forgiving animal than Bob. He thought that women should be forgiven everything except running off with your best mate. ‘And it means they have to forgive us all our sins. I do enjoy having the upper hand, don’t you? I know you think kissing’s tantamount to a betrayal, but women don’t see it that way. You and me, we take it as a green light to having sex. I once kissed a woman for months before she confessed she didn’t fancy me enough to have sex with me. I found it incomprehensible. But there you are…’
‘And, of course, I no longer have the upper hand, anyway,’ said Bob. ‘Even claiming that I am technically single. I have virtually done exactly the same thing as Katie. Does that make me as bad as her? Or less bad?’
‘Questions only you can answer,’ replied Harry. ‘I think I may have to have a beer.’
After Katie had phoned Bob, he had got straight on to Sophie. ‘Sorry, I don’t think I can be your escort this evening,’ he said. ‘I have an appointment in Dorset.’
Sophie was thrilled. ‘Harry and I’ll get the address of the place, and all the roads you need to take. And maps. And things. Do you need any food?’
‘No, thanks. I’ll manage,’ he said, then spent an inordinate amount of time trying on all his T-shirts and shirts, so he was barely ready when Harry, Sophie and Elizabeth arrived with a selection of photocopied maps and a hair product that Sophie guaranteed would get rid of helmet hair and make him smell lovely.
‘And will it guarantee I get the girl?’ he asked, smiling at her.
She sighed.
‘What?’ asked Harry and Bob, simultaneously.
‘It’s sooooo romantic,’ she said, in a girly voice. ‘It’s like An Officer and a Gentleman.’
‘With a landscape gardener instead,’ said Bob, pulling on his biker boots. ‘And let’s face it, A Gardener and a Gentleman sounds more like Being There.’
‘Well,’ said Harry, rescuing Elizabeth from Caligula the cat’s food bowl, ‘you’ve got bags of time to work on your impenetrable pronouncements.’
Bob and Sophie looked impressed.
‘Not a sentence you want to be saying after a bottle of whisky,’ said Bob, doing a final check. ‘Can I trust you to feed the cat tomorrow and Sunday if, by any chance, I should not be here?’
Elizabeth answered for them. ‘Of courth we will,’ she said, pulling Caligula towards her by his tail as his claws clung vainly to his basket.
Bob had broken a number of speed limits to get to Dorset. He had made it just as Katie went on air.
Gemma had seen him roar up, and had thought, for a moment, he was Mike’s stand-in, the comedian.
When he took off his helmet, she suddenly wished she’d done a better job on her own hair and makeup.
He had introduced himself, then been taken to a bedroom to get rid of his motorbike kit, and swiftly apply Sophie’s magic hair wax.
He nodded in the mirror. ‘Well done, Sophie,’ he said, making a final check of his teeth.
Gemma came to find him. ‘Are you all right?’ she asked.
‘Fine. Can I stay up here and watch the show go out on this enormous television?’ he asked, nodding at the vast screen opposite the bed.
‘Probably. I’ll go and check if it would interfere with the broadcast – but I’m sure it’ll be OK, as long as you keep the volume down. Do you not want to sit with everyone else to watch it go out?’
‘Do you mind if I don’t? I want to be a surprise.’
Gemma thought he was so gorgeous he could do whatever the hell he liked. She wouldn’t stop him. Bloody shame he was taken, as she said to Rose when she went into the OB shed to ask about the television in the bedroom being on.
The show was a triumph.
Katie had been witty and engaging – as had her guests.
Nick and Adam couldn’t have been happier as the closing credits rolled, and the director thanked everyone.
Katie stood up from the sofa, unclipped her microphone and took out her earpiece.
Adam and Nick were there immediately – doing their best not to betray their burgeoning interest in their star.
‘Well done,’ said Adam, giving her a big hug.
‘Ditto,’ smiled Nick, giving her a slightly overlong hug with one hand pressed into the small of her back.
Katie didn’t miss the signals.
Life was suddenly full of possibilities.
She turned to thank everyone, and then saw Bob. He smiled at her, and she melted. ‘Hello,’ she said. ‘I thought you were going to the cinema with your girlfriend.’
‘My friend who’s a girl,’ he said, his blue eyes gazing solemnly into her sparkling green ones. ‘You look beautiful.’
‘You’re not so bad yourself.’
‘How was the show?’
‘Fine.’
‘How do you feel?’
She looked at him steadily. ‘I feel a lot better now you’re here,’ she said, and turned to speak briefly to the two men who had helped save her from a life of meaningless questionnaires and tins of rice pudding.
She’d be sorting out the sleeping arrangements later.
Copyright
Harper Perennial
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Visit our authors’ blog at www.fifthestate.co.uk
First published by Harper Perennial in 2008
1
Copyright © Penny Smith Enterprises Ltd 2008
Penny Smith asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978-0-00-726889-4
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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EPub Edition © NOVEMBER 2010 ISBN: 978-0-007-28315-6
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