by Jordan Ford
A quiet sniff from Layla draws me back to the isolated path near the lake.
“Okay, look. Mack might be annoyed at you for that, but he’ll move past it.”
“He won’t move past the other thing.”
The way her voice stretches over the words makes a tight knot form in my stomach. Part of me is afraid to ask. Layla’s eyes are haunted. I want to get back to the playful smile on her face when she was whipping my ass at cards.
It’s with a sinking feeling that I realize she’ll never truly get back there until she’s unloaded whatever crap she’s carrying right now.
Clenching my jaw, I take a slow breath and force myself to ask, “What other thing?”
#19:
The Brutal Truth
Layla
I can’t tell him. I can’t do it. He’s going to think I’m so disgusting. Those deep brown eyes, so full of sweet concern, are going to change. They’ll go hard again, and I’ll have to face Judge Jones with his silent criticism and pitiful glares.
“Layla, come on. You know you can tell me anything.” He rubs my arms up and down. He’s so close now, and all I want to do is wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in his chest.
Pulling the long hoodie sleeves over my hands, I lift the fabric to my nose and take a deep breath.
“I did something really bad a couple of weeks ago.” My voice is muffled by the fabric.
Finn gently wrestles my hands away from my face and leads me around the corner to a bench seat that overlooks the lake. He’s so huge as he sits down on the wood. He leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees, and I just stand there watching him with my arms crossed.
After a short beat, he stretches forward and nabs the bottom of the hoodie, giving it a firm tug and forcing me next to him. I sit down and gaze over the sloping woods that lead down to the lake. The afternoon sun casts a flaxen glow over the water, making it sparkle.
“What happened at the party?”
“How did you know I was at a party?” I snap, whipping around to face him.
“Layla, come on. You said something bad happened. I’m guessing Mack wasn’t there.”
I grip the wood beneath me and shrug. “Just the girls…and Derek…and that guy who hurt Colt last year.”
“Quaid.” Finn seethes the word, his body tensing. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch the flex of his muscles. His forearms ripple as he clasps his hands together. “Go on,” he grits out.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Why are you apologizing?” He’s looking straight ahead, the strain in his voice obvious.
If I tell him, he’ll never turn my way again. A week ago, I wouldn’t have cared. Now the thought is devastating. I don’t even know when the change happened, but for some strange reason I need Finn’s approval. I want to keep going with whatever has developed between us. I press my lips together and rub the back of my fingers under my chin. My hands are trembling as I fight for air.
“Layla.” Finn lightly wraps his fingers around my wrist, rubbing his long thumb into my palm.
I capture it and tremble out the truth. “I let them touch me. He’s got photos. They’re ugly. They’re so vile, Finn, and he’s going to use them to blackmail me.”
The facts rush out in a torrent so fast it takes Finn a moment to register them. I stare at him while he processes it, but as soon as his head starts to turn my way, I rip my wrist out of his grasp and bolt off the seat. Running off the path, I clamber through the woods until I reach the edge of a steep drop. I gaze at the view and wonder how something so beautiful can exist in such an ugly world.
A twig snaps behind me. Finn’s near. I don’t move, keeping my eyes trained on the lake in the distance. “I understand if you just want to leave me here. It’s probably for the best, anyway. I’m not planning on going back home.”
“I’m not leaving you here.” I’m sure that deep voice could make me do anything. It whistles through me, stirring something in my chest that’s kind of addictive. “And you’re not running away.”
I stiffen at his bossy command and spin to face him. “You can’t tell me what to do. What other choice do I have?”
“You face it.”
“How?” I lift my arms wide. “So, I stole his phone and smashed it to pieces. He’ll have the photos somewhere else. As soon as I come out of hiding, he’ll start with the threats and if I don’t follow through, he’s going to post that shit everywhere. I can’t face that!”
Swinging back around, I totally forget I’m on the edge of a steep drop and go to march straight into thin air. I scream as my foot slips off the edge and I start to stumble.
In true Finn style, he leaps forward like a cheetah and snatches my arm. It kind of hurts, but he hauls me out of the drop and yanks me against his chest. His strong arms encase me, locking me to his body. Trembling breaths punch out of his chest as he stumbles backwards, dragging us away from the edge and onto solid ground.
He doesn’t let me go until we’re back on the pathway. Once we’re safe, his tight hold finally starts to ease and I step out of his grasp.
I gaze at him with this bleak expression on my face. I don’t know what it looks like, but it feels pitiful and broken—just like me. “I don’t think I can do this, Finn. You’ve gotta let me go.”
“Not happening.” He shakes his head. “You’re not running away.”
“I need to.”
“No, you need to stay and let me look after you.”
“You don’t want to do that.”
“Yeah, I do.”
My face bunches as I try to fight him on it. “But I’m so dirty and disgusting. Why would you even want to be near me?”
“Because you’re neither of those things, Layla.” He steps back over to me, but I shuffle away from him.
“Yes, I am. Can’t you see that? I let a guy I hate and his gross friend put their hands all over me. I am exactly what Sheldon Buchanan thinks I am.”
“That’s bullshit! You don’t have to be that way!”
“But I am!” I scream at him, my voice taking on this screechy high quality that’s probably scaring the wildlife away.
Finn’s lips bunch into a tight line and he won’t stop shaking his head. Can he seriously not see the truth?
“What if they were forcing you to do it?” he mutters.
I roll my eyes. “Oh, come on. We both know I would have been into it. You know what alcohol does to me.” I stare at the sky. It’s turning from pale blue to that bright royal color I love. “I’m never drinking again.”
“Probably not a bad idea, although that’s not the point,” Finn growls. “Those jerks knew better. Any decent guy would have pushed you away.” His voice lowers to a soft timbre. “Layla, you’re beautiful, and any guy would be crazy not to want you. But you were vulnerable that night, and a good guy would have carried you somewhere safe and not laid a hand on you.”
He’s standing in front of me again, so close I can smell his musky scent. With a gentle finger, he tips my chin up and I’m met with the last look I expect. It’s soft and tender. He must have forgotten how to judge me. Crazy fool.
I curl my fingers into his shirt and murmur, “A good guy like you, you mean?”
Finn smiles, a slow, lazy kind of movement that I can’t help but find attractive. “Maybe.”
“You can’t fall for me, Finn.” I shake my head with a sigh. “You’re the nicest guy in our school. You can’t be with the bad girl.”
“I can fall for whoever the hell I want.” His fingers spread down my neck while his thumb remains beneath my chin, holding me steady so I won’t turn away.
“I’m not good for you.” My feeble argument is losing its strength. I’m finding it really hard to fight him when he’s looking at me like this. His fingers on my neck feel so good. I want to take the final step toward him and close the space between us.
He should be freaking running for his life right now, not standing here ready to jump into my mess.
>
“I’ll be the judge of what’s good for me.” His voice is husky, yet strong.
Tears spring onto my lashes. I’ve never felt so undeserving and blessed in my entire life.
Finn gives me a closed-mouth smile and brushes my tears away. “You know what? You’ve cried enough tears this week to last the rest of your life. You have no idea how much they kill me…every time.” His words end in a whisper.
I sniff and try to pull myself together, but he just snickers at my attempt. I dip my head, but his thumb pushes my chin right back up again.
“Look at me, Layla. I need to know you’ve heard this.”
With a quick couple of blinks, I brace myself for whatever he has to say.
“You’re not bad, you’re beautiful. And it’s not just your luscious hair or your smokin’ hot body…or those chocolate eyes.” His voice is so dreamy it makes me want to blush and giggle. I totally would if I wasn’t fighting the urge to cry again. “It’s your heart and soul that’s won me. Beneath that layer of cool you always try to hide behind is a goodness that’s pure and sweet. You’re scared and you’re hurting, but you still care enough to try and convince me not to fall for you.” He grins, his tongue sweeping over his lower lip. “I see you, Layla, and you’re beautiful.” He leans towards me, drawing his lips to mine. “You’re beautiful,” he murmurs again, and then my breath is stolen—whisked away by a mouth that unravels me in a moment.
I rise to my tiptoes, meeting his pressure, lavishing his tender strength. Tipping my head, I part my lips to deepen the kiss and find his soft tongue sweeping against mine. It feels amazing. There’s something so sweet and undemanding about the kiss. He’s not hungry for a piece of flesh. It’s like he wants to kiss me just to prove that everything he’s said is true. His hands weave around my body as he bends his knees then stands tall, bringing me with him. I clasp my hands behind his neck as my feet dangle in the air.
I feel so small in his arms, so treasured. No guy has ever made me feel this way. I don’t deserve it, but I can’t pull away. Finn’s tongue has a magical quality that won’t let me go. His arms are too secure, his body too strong. I want to stay encased in this feeling for as long as I can.
Because for the first time since my dad died…I don’t feel quite so afraid.
#20:
Ugly Ways
Finn
The doorbell is ringing incessantly, giving me a fair idea of my visitor’s mood before I even get to the bottom of the stairs. I don’t know what I’ll find, but I ready myself anyway.
I told Layla to wait upstairs. Since learning about those photographs, my protective instincts have been on overdrive. I don’t want Derek getting anywhere near her again. Seeing her nearly fall off that cliff, listening to her lay it all bare and then call herself disgusting…
A deep scowl mars my expression as I whip the door open to find my best friend standing on my front step. He looks ready to beat the shit out of something.
I move back as Colt barges through my door, paces into the front entrance, then spins to face me.
“Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay.” His hands flick into the air, the muscles in his arms rippling. “When I turn up at your door yelling at you, I’m not okay!”
“Alright.” I keep my voice slow and even, not wanting to poke the beast. “Do you want to tell me why you’re not okay?”
“I don’t appreciate Derek Assman turning up at my girlfriend’s house demanding to know where Layla is.”
A sharp spike drives right down my spine. “Oh, shit. Did Tori tell him?”
“No, she didn’t! But thank God I showed up when I did, because I think he was about to question her further.” Colt’s blue eyes flash with warning, his nostrils flaring as he grits his teeth and swivels away from me.
“He didn’t hurt her, did he?”
“If he had, I swear to God, man, this would not be going so well.” He whips back around and points a finger at me. “I’ll drive Layla over to his place right now if I have to.”
“Don’t talk shit, man,” I snap back, ready to pummel something of my own.
“When it comes to the safety of my girlfriend, I’ll talk any way I want to! How the hell could you bring her into this, Finn?”
“I didn’t force her to do it, okay? I told her the situation and she offered to help. I didn’t think it would be a problem.”
“Anything to do with Derek is a problem!” Colt’s face is squishing into this ugly kind of scowl that I hardly ever see. It’s wild, fierce, and kind of unpredictable.
My shoulders tense with readiness, but I won’t back down. “I didn’t know it had anything to do with him at the time. Layla wasn’t ready to tell me what was going on.”
“So, you just blindly go along with whatever? Dragging Tori into it and putting her right in the line of fire? That was a dick move, and I don’t appreciate it.”
He steps forward and shoves my chest. I take a short step back, finding my feet easily. If he’s after a fight, he’s going to lose. I understand that he’s just hyped up on fear and rage and he’ll come at me like a pit bull on speed, but I can sack the guy before he’s even formed a fist. I know exactly how he’s feeling. Knowing what Derek is doing to Layla right now makes me want to end the guy in ugly ways.
If Colt needs to take it out on me, then so be it…but I’m not letting up.
Staring down at my irate friend, I lower my voice, hoping he’ll hear me through the red haze. “Layla’s in trouble, and someone has to look out for her. Now I’m sorry if he went after Tori, but you will not be taking Layla out of this house.”
“If Derek comes after Tori again, I will give up Layla in a heartbeat,” he seethes.
Anger sparks. I lunge forward and grab his collar, ready to slam him back against the wall. I’m not used to feeling this way. I’m the calm one, the guy who breaks up fights, but Colt needs to shut the hell up before I do something I’ll regret.
He wrestles out of my grip, lashing out with his fist. It clips me on the side of the chin, but all I give him is a grunt before surging forward and smacking him into the wall.
“Stop! Stop it!” Someone’s shouting at us, but it takes me a minute to register who it is. It’s not until Layla tries to wriggle between us that I hear her. “Stop!”
As soon as I realize she’ll be in harm’s way, I let Colt go. Stepping back, I take Layla’s arm and gently pull her behind me. With a sharp huff, she steps around to my side, giving me a pointed glare before turning to Colt. He’s still puffing like a fired-up bull while he yanks his jacket straight.
“I’m sorry.” Layla’s voice is strong with conviction, making it slightly deeper than usual. “I never meant for Tori to get caught up in this. I never thought Derek would come to her house.” And she’s back to mouse volume again. That look of fear I hate so much sweeps over her face and she starts blinking like crazy, no doubt fighting tears. “I’ll go home. I’ll let him find me.”
“No!” I spin her to face me. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Yeah, I do.” Her eyes warm with a look I don’t understand until she keeps talking and I start to figure out what she’s saying. “School starts tomorrow. I have to go home and face this. I can’t hide out forever.”
“But…” I lose my voice as my slow-ass brain finally gets it.
She’s talking about going home…and school. She’s not running away.
My lips part as a soft smile curls her lips.
It’s me. She’s staying because of me.
I brush the pads of my fingers down her smooth cheek. “I’m going to do everything I can to keep you safe.”
“I know,” she whispers. She lets out a breath before mumbling at the floor, “I’ll go get my stuff.”
My chest hurts as I watch her trudge up the stairs, shooting Colt a brave smile as she goes. He nods at her and then his gaze slowly travels back to me. His eyebrows rise and my cheeks start burning.
Scrubbing a hand over m
y face, I walk away from him and into the living room. He follows me like I expect him to, then takes a seat on the couch adjacent to me.
“So, when did this start?”
I shrug but can’t combat the smile as I relive our kiss from yesterday…and last night…and this morning. I lay awake half the night wondering how I was going to convince her to stick around, that I’d be enough to protect her. It feels so damn good to know she’s not leaving…but it also sucks, because it means she has to face off with Wiseman and those damn photos.
“What the hell is going on?” Colt smacks my knee with the back of his hand.
“Layla’s in trouble.”
“Yeah, I can see that. Why is she avoiding home? What’s Derek after?”
I sigh and look at the oil painting on the wall, the one of a tranquil lake surrounded by fall trees with red and golden leaves. It looks so peaceful. I want to take Layla there, to hide her away in that little log cabin in the bottom corner. We could play cards, go hiking, kiss while the sun goes down. It’d be perfect…and completely unrealistic.
“Finn, come on, man. What?” Colt’s knee is bobbing in agitation.
“Derek’s got some photos of her.” I thread my fingers together and look to the floor. “They’re bad, man. She’s…doing stuff she’s not proud of. He’s threatening to show them to everyone unless she does what he wants.”
Colt sits up, his agitation giving way to concern. “What does he want her to do?”
“He hasn’t told her yet. When he first showed them to her, she stole his phone and ran away. That’s why she’s been hiding out. She’s scared to go home and face him.”
“Have you seen the photos? Is she doing something illegal? What makes them so bad?”
I clench my jaw, not wanting to answer any of the questions Colt’s firing at me. Finally, I mutter, “Nothing illegal. I haven’t seen the photos, but Layla’s face when she was telling me about them…” I shake my head, my throat constricting as I see that look in her eyes again. “They must be…” My jaw clenches tight as anger works its way through me, like a bowling ball with metal spikes. “I want to kill that son of a bitch for touching her.”