He leaned his head against the window frame. A thin layer of frost covered the grass and shrubs, turning leaves and branches into crystalline wonders. The dense layer of fog forming beyond obscured his view of the forest, leaving him alone with his thoughts and his memories. The room suddenly felt very confining, stifling his thoughts like a thick sweater on a warm day.
The halls were empty in the early morning, even emptier than usual. The solitude was nothing like the bustling activity at the Hyland Estate. No, Allyn thought, don’t think about that. He laughed a self-deprecating laugh. The man running from scary dreams was the same man who, only a few hours earlier, had sacrificed himself to save the others. Who am I? Am I the self-sacrificing hero or the cowering wimp? But he hadn’t sacrificed himself expecting to die. In fact, he had known they wouldn’t kill him. They wanted him. Everyone did. And instead, they have my sister. Whatever happened to her was his fault. He had failed to protect her. He had failed to get her back. Liam and Leira had showed him how real family took care of each other.
The ride back had begun with Leira checking Nyla’s injuries. To Allyn’s surprise, Elisa had told the truth and treated them with care. Leira said Elisa had gone further than she would have expected another cleric to go—that didn’t stop her from doing more herself, though. She patched her up, aiding Nyla by shouldering her pain. Leira even healed the wounds Elisa had called superficial, stroking Nyla’s cheek even as the injuries appeared on her own face. But Leira wasn’t just another cleric. She was a friend. She was family.
A clock chimed in another room, interrupting the silence with a familiar tune that he couldn’t put a name to. Allyn roamed the house, exploring rooms and admiring art and decorations with a freedom he rarely felt. During the day, he was an outsider, the first silent to be invited to live among a magi Family in centuries.
The notoriety didn’t make Allyn feel comfortable. Graeme and Liam had tried to make him feel at home, but they couldn’t be with him all day, every day. Allyn still appreciated it. The truth was, he valued Liam’s friendship and had grown to consider him a real friend.
Graeme had probed them about their capture, often stopping them midsentence to clarify a small detail or even to have them repeat certain parts as he committed them to memory. When there were mild inconsistencies between their two stories, he took great care to listen to each one. Allyn admired the older man’s ability to listen. In his own experience, a person’s memory of an event always veered from the truth. This wasn’t intentional, of course, just a byproduct of how the mind copes with painful experiences. Graeme wasn’t attempting to find out who was right and who was wrong, because he knew the truth lay somewhere in the middle.
Graeme was brief in his own retelling—he had allowed himself to be taken captive, and then, when the situation presented itself, he escaped. He refused to answer questions and dodged others by saying he needed time to think. When it became apparent that he wasn’t going to answer any more questions, Allyn stopped probing.
The ride was long and quiet after that. Likely mad at him, Liam refused to look at Allyn, while the rest withdrew from one another. On a few occasions, Allyn caught Graeme watching Liam with a fatherly look. They’d nearly lost each other, and Allyn hoped that after being faced with that reality, their relationship would improve. Then at least something positive might come from an otherwise-terrible event.
Deep in thought, Allyn entered the foyer. Nyla turned to look at him, a surprised expression on her face. Moonlight poured through the window, reflecting off her silver hair, which she had pulled over her shoulder so it draped down her chest. She was sitting sideways in an armchair, with her knees pulled up close to her chin, letting her feet dangle over the arm.
“Sorry,” Allyn said, backing out of the room.
“It’s okay,” she said. Her gaze lingered on him, inviting him to stay.
Leaving felt wrong, but he’d never been comfortable around Nyla. Then she had saved his life. Twice. He leaned against the wall. “You can’t sleep, either?”
She shook her head. “I slept all day.”
“How are you feeling?”
She shrugged.
It was a stupid question. “Well, you look better.”
She gave him a small smile. “Are you all right?”
“I am. Thanks to you.”
“Good.” Nyla turned her attention back to the window. The entire back wall of the foyer was lined with windows, and a folding door opened onto a balcony, beyond which a large grassy field disappeared into the forest.
“You shouldn’t have healed me.”
“Why not?”
“You could have killed yourself,” he said. “You would have if one of Darian’s clerics hadn’t healed you.”
“I’m fine,” she said. “I heal faster than you do. You’re the one who should be resting.”
Allyn shrugged. “I can’t sleep.”
“It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?”
“Which part?” Allyn stepped inside the room, stopping beside Nyla’s chair. “The part where I’m being hunted and my family is being kidnapped, or the part where I’m watching people die around me? I don’t know what to do. Every time I try and help, things get worse.”
“Not everything.”
“Really?” he asked, challenging her. “What’s gotten better since I’ve been here?”
“Liam.”
Her words slapped him like a switch in his mother’s hand. “What about him?”
“Before you got here, he lived in his cave, working on his library. He didn’t leave. He didn’t talk. He rarely trained. But since you arrived, he’s changed. It’s not just that he’s stepped out of the library. It’s that he’s wanted to.”
“I can’t take credit for that,” Allyn said. “I didn’t do anything.”
“Yes, you did,” she said. “You took an interest in his work. You took an interest in him.”
“That’s because it’s pretty damn impressive. You don’t know what kids are like outside this place, but I guarantee you, they aren’t like Liam.”
“You made him feel special.”
“You’re making this sound bigger than it is.”
“Sometimes, the smallest gestures make the biggest impact. Graeme was going to leave him behind today. You stuck up for him—”
“And nearly got him killed.”
“Maybe,” she said. “But you couldn’t have foreseen that, and besides, that’s not the point. I’m sure he appreciates the gesture.”
“He’s probably traumatized.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because I am.” Allyn took a deep breath. “I’m not used to watching people die.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, and if you hadn’t killed them, I don’t know what would have happened.”
“No,” Nyla said. “I’m sorry because I didn’t think about how you felt. Your wounds are healed, but I didn’t think about the wounds inside. Death is never easy.”
Allyn sat down in a second armchair beside Nyla. “I’ve never seen someone die before. Not like that. I’ve never seen a dead body.”
“I hadn’t either, until…”
“Baylis.”
She pursed her lips. “We grew up together, lived as members of this Family for over twenty years, but the only memory that sticks with me is him lying in that alley. Skin dry and shriveled like leather. Blue lips. Skin as white as cotton. He looked like a monster. No matter how hard I try, I can’t forget.”
“What was he like?” Allyn asked.
“Stubborn.” Nyla laughed to herself, remembering a better time, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight. It was the first time Allyn had seen her genuinely happy. “He was goal oriented. Very goal oriented. The world was a s
et of achievements to him, like a staircase, each step leading to something bigger. He said it helped keep him motivated since he was able to look behind and see everything he had achieved, but also kept him focused since he saw what lay in front of him. Everything had to be planned. Everything. Even our—” She stopped abruptly as if she was about to say something she hadn’t meant to.
Nyla was finally opening up to him, and he wasn’t about to let her close up again. “Even your… what?”
“Nothing. Forget it.”
“You were married, weren’t you?”
Nyla laughed. “No.”
“Then what?”
“I said to forget about it.”
“That doesn’t come naturally for me. If it’s a secret, I promise I won’t tell anyone.” He gave her his best smile.
“Okay.” Nyla leaned in closer, dropping her voice to a whisper. “But this stays between you and me, understand?”
Allyn nodded.
“We weren’t married, but you were closer than you realize.” Nyla took a deep breath. “We shared an echo.”
“A what?”
“An echo.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s a connection between two people in both mind and body. That’s why it is forbidden.” She paused and then continued. “When a cleric heals someone, they’re using themselves to heal. My strength becomes their strength. My energy becomes theirs. I’m quite literally giving myself to someone, but I change in the process, too. I take on their injuries, their pain. I take them. Over a period of time, after many, many healings, so much of myself is in the other person and them in me, that we actually become a part of one another. The same person.”
“What does that mean?” Allyn asked. “You can hear their thoughts and feel their pain?”
“No. That would have been nice sometimes. We certainly would have had fewer arguments,” Nyla added with a laugh. “But no. It’s more of a sixth sense, an instinct. I could feel somewhere deep inside myself that something was wrong, and I was drawn to it. Drawn to him. And he, me.”
“That sounds like it could be really helpful. Why would it be forbidden?”
“Because, as we change, as we meld together and the echo grows, we cease to be ourselves. We become something different.”
Allyn sat silently for a while. The horizon was beginning to show signs of the coming sunrise, turning to a dark purple that hid the stars behind the new light. He felt Nyla watching him, and his ears burned as the question formed in his head. “That’s why you want to die, isn’t it? When Baylis died, so did a piece of you.”
Nyla’s eyes narrowed. “Why do you think I want to die?”
“Because of what you said when you healed me. ‘I didn’t do it for you,’ you said. You did it for yourself. You knew that if you healed me, you would probably die.”
Her eyes growing moist, Nyla turned away. “You don’t understand. He died to protect me. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. I was supposed to protect him. We were stronger together, but I ran. And he died.” Her voice quivered, and she fought to hold back tears. “I didn’t heal you to help you. I didn’t heal you so I could die. I did it for him. Because that’s what I should have done that night.”
“Oh… Nyla, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay.” She wiped away a tear.
“I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
“Thank you.”
“Is that what you’re looking for in the library? An explanation to what happened to Baylis?”
Nyla gave him a confused look.
“Liam said they found him dry—that it shouldn’t be possible.”
Nyla shook her head. “No. It’s not impossible, it’s just wrong—an abomination.”
“Then what are you looking for?”
Nyla bit her bottom lip. “I’m trying to find out who I am.”
“I’m not sure you are going to find that in the library.” He meant it as a joke, but within the context of their conversation, it fell flat.
“I feel myself changing, and I don’t know what I’m changing into.” There was fear in Nyla’s eyes. “Now that Baylis is dead, that part of me is gone, too. I don’t know if I’ll revert back to who I used to be, or…”
“Become something else entirely.”
She nodded. An understanding—a closeness—grew between them. Because of the forbidden nature of the echo, she hadn’t been able to talk to anyone and had been forced to dig through the archives to discover what would happen to her. Allyn was the only person who understood the depth of her loss. She had shared her deepest secret with him and was now bare and vulnerable.
“Can I tell you a secret now?”
Nyla nodded.
“My sister and I have a connection like the echo, too.” Nyla sat up a little. “I know it’s not the same thing, and it’s not even real. Actually, it’s always been kind of a joke between us, but we’ve always been able to tell if something was wrong with each other. I would have a really bad day and need someone to talk to, and the phone would ring, and it would be her. Or I would get a sudden urge to go see her, and I’d find her in tears, having just broken up with a boyfriend or lost her job. One time, when we were kids, I found her at the bottom of a hill after she fell off her bike and broke her leg. We’ve grown apart, and it’s not as strong as it used to be, but even now, I can feel that she’s hurting. She’s alive. And she needs me.”
“You said you were twins?” Nyla asked slowly.
“Yeah,” Allyn said.
Nyla stood up abruptly. “Come on.”
“Why?” Allyn asked. “What’s going on?”
“I think we just found out why Lukas is after you.”
Nyla stopped outside Graeme’s study. A thin ray of light shone under the crack of the door. It seemed he, too, was awake. She knocked and, without waiting for a response, walked in. Graeme looked up sharply from his desk.
“Nyla,” he said, shielding a piece of paper with his arm. He pulled his glasses off. “Is everything all right?”
“We need to talk,” she said, glancing back at Allyn, who was waiting outside the door.
Graeme set his glasses on the desk and motioned for them to sit. As confused as Graeme was, Allyn walked into the study and took a seat in an armchair beside Nyla.
“What’s going on?” Graeme asked.
“I think I know why Lukas is after Allyn,” Nyla said. “And why after we helped Allyn escape, he went after his sister.”
Graeme leaned back, his leather chair reclining against his weight. Nyla clearly had his attention. “Continue.”
“We originally thought he abducted her as bait,” Nyla said.
Allyn wanted to stop her. They thought Kendyl was bait? How long have they suspected that? Why didn’t they tell me?
“Then we thought maybe she was a distraction. I don’t think that’s the case. Allyn and Kendyl are twins, and they share a connection very similar to the echo. Graeme, he feels her distress.”
Graeme studied Allyn, his dark eyes probing. “Is this true?”
“Yes.” Allyn nodded. “I can feel something isn’t right.”
“Be more specific.”
“It’s like…” Allyn struggled to find the words. “It’s like when you feel a cold coming on. You’re not sick yet, but you know you’re not right.”
“Suppose this is true,” Graeme said. “That doesn’t mean Lukas isn’t using her as bait.”
“He would only do that if he knew about the connection,” Nyla said, “and how would he know about that? We didn’t find out until tonight, and Allyn is living with us.”
“Lukas could have suspected it,” Graeme said. “Twins have always been associated with magical abilities. The ability to hear
each other’s thoughts, even see through each other’s eyes.”
“True,” Nyla said, “but everything involving a telepathic connection between twins is anecdotal at best.”
“Yet also very historical,” Graeme said. “Twins are prevalent in almost every major myth and legend across every major culture and religion.”
“If that’s the case, then you should have suspected it,” Allyn said.
Graeme looked at Allyn with a leveled gaze. “It doesn’t change anything. Twin, or not, you still need magi blood to wield.”
“According to you.”
“No,” Graeme said. “That’s the way of it.”
“Your son has magi blood, but he can’t wield.”
Graeme’s face turned to stone. “His abilities will manifest in time. He can feel the power. He just can’t project it, which is more than you can say.”
“I think what Allyn is trying to say,” Nyla said carefully, “is that it doesn’t matter what we believe. Lukas might think Allyn can wield simply because he’s a twin. It wouldn’t be the first magi experiment intended to discover the ability in others.”
Graeme tapped his finger on his desk.
“He’s building an army, Graeme,” Nyla continued, “and he’s already built alliances. Now he’s looking for a new weapon. We need to act.”
Graeme sighed. “I know.” Graeme sent Nyla to bring Jaxon, leaving Allyn alone with him.
Tapping his foot nervously, Allyn looked around the room in an attempt to hide from Graeme’s gaze.
“I really thought you would be able to wield,” Graeme said after the awkward silence became nearly unbearable. “Or at least have some magi blood in you.”
“I was nearly convinced myself,” Allyn said.
“If Lukas is truly after you because you’re a twin, then I owe you an apology. I should have gone after your sister sooner.”
Allyn leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Is he actually apologizing? “I appreciate that, and I understand why you were reluctant to attempt a rescue. You’re looking out for your Family, and by helping me rescue my own, you’ll likely have to hurt people you’ve known for a long time. It will start the war you’ve been trying to prevent.”
Fracture (Book 1) Page 14